Open Marriage

Is the secret to a happy marriage having an open marriage? Carl and Kenya have been married for 17 years and share three beautiful children. They also have multiple lovers and believe monogamy leads to failure. Tune in and decide for yourself: Is open marriage the answer to ending infidelity and divorce, or does it lead to the ending of a marriage?

"Progressive Love"


 

 

 
“Carl and I have been in an open marriage for five years,” Kenya says. “Carl and I did not have an open marriage when we first got married. I had a regular wedding, a regular marriage, and I had a regular husband in a monogamous relationship.”

“Kenya and I had been married about 11 years when we started a discussion around opening our relationship,” Carl says.

“After the ups and downs of going through two full years of discussing this, without having any outside relationships, I went to a conference, and I met a man. It was love at first sight,” Kenya says. Carl supported her decision to get to know the man better. “I felt like this was a gift from my husband, a gift of my own freedom, without having to lose the commitment.”

“My first experience outside of our marriage was a mutual friend, and we ended up spending some intimate time together,” Carl says. “It just felt wonderful. It felt like my birthday.”

“When my husband and I went from monogamous marriage to open marriage, everything changed,” Kenya says. “I felt like I came out of hiding. My husband came alive. I came alive.”

“After that first experience, I never even thought about going back to monogamy,” Carl says. “Since we’ve opened our marriage, I’ve probably had, I don’t know, five partners?”

“Currently, I have two intimate partners, but I have five people who I would consider to be my partners,” Kenya says. “Opening my marriage has saved my life. It’s made me a new person. I am loved! I can experience love from everywhere.”

“When we first started our open relationship, we had rules,” Carl says. “No sex in our bedroom. You’ve got to tell the other person before you date somebody. If I had somebody over to the house, we’d use a blow-up mattress, or we’d figure something out; but looking back on it, it’s kind of weird.”

“Today, instead of rules, we have principles,” Kenya explains. “The first one is: There’s to be no shame and no blame. The second principle is: There’s to be no victims. The third thing is that the purpose is growth. And finally: No cop outs, no drop outs. We do not agree with leaving.”

When it comes to protection, Carl says, “To be honest, I don’t always use condoms.”

“I trust his instinct. If he feels that it is necessary to use protection at this point, fantastic. If he doesn’t feel that, I know that he doesn’t feel it because he feels safe, and I trust his intuition,” Kenya says.
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