Message Boards

Messages By:

August 16, 2005, 9:28 pm CDT

Why would anyone care?

I just don't see what the problem would be, breastfeeding in public, as long as the mother was discreet and was covered. 


Are there really people out there who have a problem with a mother breastfeeding her baby in public, even if she is completely covered?  Have these people ever had children? ;)  It's not like you can tell your baby 'just a minute' when they decide that they need to eat. 


I never breastfed in public because, even with a blanket, it was impossible to stay covered.  Not to mention that my son took an hour to eat so there was no such thing as a quick snack.  Once the feeding started, i was committed to that spot for a significant period of time!  At times when i didn't have a choice, i would find a quiet place and hope for the best but it never occured to me that someone would care what i was doing... 


If there are people out there who are against breastfeeding in public (i'm talking about mother's who cover themselves and are discreet when they do it) I would love to hear some of your reasons for your feelings. 

August 17, 2005, 3:08 pm CDT

I think it's natural to feel as you do...

Quote From: parisienne

Internet porn and other versions are becoming more and more omnipresent. I am not married, but I am in a 3 year relationship and as much as I try to rationalize my boyfriend's use of porn it is very difficult for me to deal with. I understand that it gives men (who by nature crave variety in their sexual experiences) a change of pace while also allowing them the luxury of not cheating on their spouses/girlfriends. That's the sticking point really-- because if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and acts like a duck...the fact that my significant other is watching another woman on the screen engaged in sexual acts (and he is engaging visually, so he is engaged) then that qualifies as cheating. I mean, if I were to be looking at other men on the computer or having sexual materials that simulated other men then you can definitely be sure that he would have a problem with that.  

This quote above is absolutely correct-- no matter how much a woman and try to explain the facts of life to herself concerning men and their "sexual plumbing" so to speak-- it doesn't change the fact that it is hurtful to their spouse when they discover that their S.O. (signig. other) is utilizing someone else to fulfill needs that she thought she had covered. It is hurtful and you start to question yourself. So to all the men out there-- if you simply must look at porn-- have a heart!!! Realize the effect it has upon your girlfriend/spouse and do your best to keep it under wraps. While it doesn't change the fact that you are utilizing porn it does make sure that your S.O is not likely to stumble upon it.  Better yet, just tell your S.O that you do it up front, but do your best to make sure that she doesn't have to see it. She is going to compare herself to the women on the screen (personally I think that most of the women in porn aren't that good-looking, and sure they have great bodies that is what they do for a living! They have time to sit around at the gym to look perfect for you) and she is going to wonder if you would rather have that girl in bed rather than the wonderful woman you married or are dating. Its all about consideration-- if you don't want to lie then don't, but if you care about your spouse then you will be discreet with your viewing if not cut it out all together. No one needs to be constantly doubting themselves, their attractiveness or their prowess in the bedroom. Imagine if men had to live that way...Men: Would you like to have evidence of your girlfriend/wife's consumption of sexual materials that revolved around the viewing, thinking about, fantasizing of other men in front of you frequently? Would that make you uncomfortable or feel devalued for what you feel you can offer your S.O? Well, welcome to our world! 

pornography, no matter where you find it, ruins lives.  People always try and justify that it doesn't hurt anyone but all you have to do is see the lives that it has destroyed, the families that it has destroyed and the children that it has destroyed to know that it is very destructive.  


It teaches people that our bodies are there for physical gratification.  It implys that other's bodies can be used to satisfy our own wants with no reprocussions or consequences.  It perpetuates the myth that life could ever be like it is in those horrible pictures and confuses those who view it by presenting fantasy as real life.  


It also pervets the way a person thinks about actual love and interfers with their ability to view members of the opposite sex in a way that is not purely sexual.  


Pornography also tears down the normal barriers against inappropriate and abnormal or illegal behavior.  77% of men who have molested girls started to feel the need to behave in such a way after view pornography (and not of children, at first) for a period of time.  


Plus, it is extremely addictive.  a man was quoted as saying that he had been addicted to every major illegal drug and to porn and that the drugs were a thousands times easier to quite.  


our bodies eventually get rid of the poisons we put into them but our minds keep pictures forever.  


I know that society keeps telling us that porn is alright and natural but, in my opinion, there is nothing natural about's selling a fantasy for money and it's a fantasy that will ruin marriages and relationships because it is so all consuming and abnormal.  


just some thoughts...  


August 21, 2005, 7:54 pm CDT

why is it crazy?

Quote From: joymomma

Should I get pregnant? That is a good question. I had three kids before my present marriage, my husband had two, so we have five kids from previous marriages. We had invitro four years ago and that resulted in twin girls. So, we have seven kids, although only the last three are home. Seven kids sounds like a lot, I know, and we do have the twins together, but... my husband so wants to try for a boy. Are we crazy? I'm pretty sure most people would think so! I just so love a new baby, and being pregnant I feel so special. I dont want to think I'll never do it again. We already have six grandkids! Also I'm 43 now and my husband is 51. OK, just posting this and actually typing this out, I can see we must be crazy! I lost my cousin a few months ago to a drug overdose and his name was Logan, which was going to be our sons name if we ever had one. His death felt like our never-to-be born sons death. It is so hard to say we will never even try for a son, we will just never have any more. When my daughter got pregnant at 18 and had her baby, I held my first grandchild in my arms, and although I adore her, she is not mine. Do I have something wrong with me? Our older kids are 31, 29, 20,18, and 15.  Our grandkids are 9,8,7,4, 3, and 10months. I love all the chaos and craziness and business of a big family. Maybe I need to find fulfillment elsewhere?

If you can love and take care of (more than just finacially) that many children and you want more than why stop...  


I know i don't know you or your situation but it kinda sounds like the only reason you are thinking about not having anymore kids is because you are afriad of what other people will think.  in my opinion, it's never a good idea to make decisions based on what is popular.  


You and your hubby sound like great parents and that is what matters.  You are free to have as many kids as you want, regardless of who thinks it's crazy.  I'm sure those people would never consult you before they decided how many kids to have ;)  



August 29, 2005, 6:23 am CDT


Quote From: jessica_ga

Hey everyone I am 21 and I am having a boy Ethan he is due Oct 21st and this is my first so if anyone has some advice let me know thanks

my only advice would be to enjoy being pregnant!  As much as you wish to meet your new little one, don't wish away the days.  Babies are wonderful but hard work and they are much easier in the tummy than out.  


besides that, there is no advice to give.  Only you will know what is best for you and the baby.  I would say, always listen to the advice people give you after ethan comes along, but then, make up your own mind about what you will do.  


as hard as it is, everyone woman has the ability to be a great mother.  It does require sacrifice and some hard decisions every now and then and a mother can get to doubt herself and her abilities.  Hang in there, take long baths and don't feel guilty about leaving the baby with loved ones.  A mother needs a break every now and then, if she trulywants to be the best mother possible.  


don't wory about the delivery :)  it's going to happen, whether you're nervous or not.  Try and be informed about all that will happen so that nothing is a surprise and then remember that it's only a moment in time and soon will only be a memory.  


good luck!  

September 7, 2005, 12:42 pm CDT


Quote From: sleepy

My husband and I are very lost at the situation of potty training. Our son is 2 1/2 years old and he will kick, scream and cry because he doesn't want to be on the potty chair and he could be on the potty for almost an hour and never go and as soon as I take him off he will pee or poop in his pull-up. He will cry and cry and it hurts me to see him act like that. What I don't understand is that we use to tell us all the time that he had poop or pee in his diaper or pull-up. He also nows how to pulling off the pull-up and his shorts and he know how to all that except for the potty training. What can I do to help him on the potty training?  

I know every little boy and girl is different when it comes to potty training.  All i can offer is the advice my dr. gave me, but it worked great.  


He said that little boys are generally harder to potty train than girls and that a good rule of thumb is to not even try it until they are almost three years old at least.  


He also said, if it starts becoming a battle to back off quickly and try again in a month.  


My little guy turned three this last march and that's when we started with the potty training.  He had his share of accidents but after a month he was potty trained and another month later, he was going poop in his potty.  


I would say, to stop trying for a while...your little guy may not be ready to do it and pushing might turn what could have been a few weeks of mastery into months of fighting.  


If it were me, i'd go back to diapers and not even bring it up for a while.  Concentrate on praising him in other areas and work his self-esteem back up so he starts to really believe he is capable of doing it.    


Also, when you do try again, go with regular underpants and not pull-ups...they feel just like a diaper to most kids (even the ones that let them 'feel when it's wet') and they don't understand why they could go in their diaper before, but not anymore)  


good luck!  

September 10, 2005, 1:12 pm CDT


Quote From: mommy99

My 6 year old daughter constantly wakes us up in the middle  of the night.  She wakes up screaming and will not go back to bed with out myself or my husband tucking her in again.  This has gone on for 2 months straight and i can't do it any more.  Please , if you have any advice write back. Thank you.

have you considered that she might be experiencing night terrors...I don't know because you didn't give much info on her state when she wakes up except that she is screaming (one sign).   


I suffered from these as a child and still do to a small extent, which my husband just loves :).  He hardly bats an eye when i wake up screaming now.   


whatever the reason, it sounds like she's waking up i guess the first step would be to make sure that her environment is as secure (in her mind) as it can be so that when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she won't easily convince herself that she is in danger.   


You've probably already done all this but since you didn't give much info i would say to make sure she has a night light and give her some good rules to use to help her feel safe....My little guy has a big picture of Jesus on his wall and we talk every night about how 'Jesus keeps the ouws away'...that works for him (and us since we'ver christian) but i would imagine a parent could try it with any strong figure that a child looks up to.   


If it is night terrors you could talk to your peds. doctor to see what they suggest on handling it.   


anyway, good luck!  hope something works for you guys...   

September 16, 2005, 7:43 am CDT

I love hearing about birth stories...

so i'll share mine! 


I have two little boys, a three year and 1/2 year old and a nine month old.  both births we so different. 


with my first i had a great pregnancy.  I worked the entire time as a gas meter reader and was walking 8-10 miles five days a week.  I gained 29 lbs and felt great the entire time.  The day before i was due i went to the doctors and found that my blood pressure was high so the doctor decided to strip my membranes and hope i went into labor on my own.  I was sent home on bed rest. 


the next morning i realized that i was leaking amnio fluid and went to the hospital (where my water broke in the bathroom)...because they didn't know how long i had been leaking fluid they put me on pitocin right away...HATE! that stuff. 


everything went great until i was 8 cm dialated (about 6 hours later)...then i spiked a fever and started throwing up (so they couldn't keep any tylenol in me).  When my fever got to 104 they decided to do the emergency c-section. 


My son was born with a temp of 103 so he went right to the NICU and was there for three days getting antibiotics in case there was an infection (they never found any and figured that he was so hot because i was so hot). 


we went home together and everything was rosey :) 


with my second i was determined to have a pregnancy wasn't quite so smooth.  I had morning sickness (for the first five months) and then problems with my blood sugar.  I didn't have diabetes (blood sugar levels always fine after many tests) but i continually spilled sugar in my urine for unknown reasons.  Plus, i wasn't working anymore so i wasn't in as good of shape.  I gained 25 lbs (but was bigger than with my first). 


since i had my first on his due date i had hopes with my second that he would be early or at least on time ;) but he was 6 days late.  I finally went into labor in the middle of the night and started with contractions 2 minutes apart but not very strong-this went on for 12 hours before i went in to the hospital. 


the birth went perfectly and after 40 minutes of pushing, had another great little boy.  We both had a fever, though it was low grade, that they couldn't find a reason for...i think i'm allergic to childbirth! :) 


The transition with him was not as smooth because i tore horribly during the birth (the doctor said he had never seen skin that was less elastic-no wonder all the stretch marks!) both my hubby and i got the flu the night we took him home and it was christmas eve (which is a little stressful anyway). 


all in all-i loved each of my birth experiences though neither were perfect.  It truly is an amazing thing and i've never done anything more empowering! 

September 17, 2005, 7:49 am CDT

nice to hear from you again kelly :)

Quote From: ceders2

Good to see you here, as it has been awhile hasn't it?! And Congraulations on your new little one, be it that he is now 9 months old. By the way, what is his birthdate? The reason I ask is that my sister had her little bloke on Christmas Eve last year. So, he will be 9 months on the 24th of this month. His name is Harley and he's a lovely little boy. 


It was interesting to hear about you having "Sweet Pee" but not ending up with G Diabetes.  


Did you have the high blood pressure this time or was that fine? Yes, maybe you are "Allergic to childbirth" especially after having high temps with both boys!! 


Well Stephanie is now 3, she turned 3 on the 18th of July and she is still such a good child, we still haven't had many drama's with her. Yes we know just how lucky and how blessed we are with her.  


Well I hope that all is well with you and yours, please TAKE CARE. LOVE KELLY. 

I remember first talking to you when our little ones were just a few months old and here we are with pre-schoolers!  can you believe it?!  


My youngest, Eli, was born on the 22 of december.  He was due the 16th and i was hoping so much that he would come early to keep his birthday away from christmas but it just wasn't to be.  I feel so bad that he shares those two special holidays but there's nothing to do about it. 


Yes, it was interesting that i had sugar in my urine but no diabetes.  My doctor really didn't know what it was but he talked to a perinatalogist about it and he said that sometimes the kidneys spill urine during pregnancy for no reason...bodies are complex things! 


and no, i didn't have high blood pressure with my second.  It was fine the whole time...thank goodness.  because i had had a c-section before they couldn't induce my labor this time (no pictocin) because it could make the contractions too strong.  That meant that if for any reason i NEEDED to have the baby it would have been an automatic c-section and i really didn't want one again.   


I'm glad to know your little one is doing so good!  It's a fun age (sometimes!)....jen. 

September 17, 2005, 12:19 pm CDT


I just realized that in my last post i said that 'sometimes the kidneys spill urine' gee, i'd hope so! 


I really meant sugar of course!...jen. 

October 19, 2005, 3:32 pm CDT

just need some clarification...

Quote From: kdaniels1

  I agree with you on that the bible clearly states that homosexuality is sin but Christ does condem them as well.  Granted he loves all but he will judge all as well.  We as true Christian need to reach out to all mankind as Christ did.  Gen Chp. 1 clearly condems along with other verses in the bible about being gay.  People who say they are Christian and still gay aren't and that is a fair statement because of the bible.  How can you be Christian and still gay.  It like comparing an apple and and orange.  I am against gays action not them, just like Christ. 



I agree that homosexuality is not condoned by God..but one of the things you said in your post didn't make sense to me so i must not be understanding you right. 


You said that a person who is gay cannot be Christian-i'm guessing because you mean that because a person is purposly choosing to do things that are against the commandments of God, then they cannot be Christian. 


Yet, that statement doesn't make sense-how many people do you know who tell a lie, yet still consider themselves Christian, or that have sex outside of the bonds of marriage, or who covet things that others have, or who do not love their enemies, or who worships the idols of wealth or homes or luxury items...all of these things are spoken of in the bible as being sins and acts not condoned of God. 


If we say, that a a gay person is not Christian because they are choosing to sin...then we implicate ourselves in that very statement-as we all choose wrong over right sometimes... 




First Page | Previous Page | 1 | Next Page | Last Page
Return to Message Board