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Messages By: msmickieau

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April 26, 2008, 7:07 pm CDT

the most difficult MIL from anywhere

I meet my husband in 2003; in dec 2003 and through to the june 2004 his mother kept telling me to marry him - he was going through a family court battle since dec 03 with his youngest; he is 10 yrs older than i and has two children to two different mothers.  Considering we had only seriously started the relationship since on or about Christmas of 2003 his mother terrified me!  I was only about 20 at this time.  And then his "lawyers" started to say the same in June 2004 and July 2004; His mother turned to me and said marry him or get your things and get out - I had moved into his house which he bought about 5 years earlier and was sole title holder.


So we got married at the registry office - at first it was great.  She was sooooo happy and supportive .

My brother in law moved in - not wanting to be the meat in the middle I told my husband to get the "rent" out of the BIL or tell him to move out.  In total when my BIL did leave he owed us and still owes us some $3,500.

This is at the very heart of the ongoing dispute with the Mother in law. (My husband father died many years ago and has step father)


It was some time after the BIL moved out that the fight started with the MIL.  Husband (H) was stressed because we needed and still do the money we loand to BIL and have asked several times for it to be returned.  BIL contacted us sounding very desperate and I said to H not to call him back he only wants money; but H did want he wanted and called BIL and guess what, we have our own business and BIL wanted some items for FREE and H told him no! and that is when the fight between the two brothers started. 

BIL left a threatening message on our messages and said he would burn the house down and get H fired from his part-time job, in addition to our business.

We reported it to the police.

The MIL enters and accuses me of interfering with the relationship b/t H and BIL and immediately turned and said no BIL did that when he had sex not once but twice with H ex- the mother of his first and eldest child and could very well be that child's true father. ]


MIL got very upset  and said she washes her hands of H until he forgive BIL for his debts and moves on.


H called MIL the next day and had about a 30 minute call.  Telling her he was not going to forgive him and then he brushed off the blame of other issues onto me and his other brother's wife, K.


Since this call MIL has gone about telling people that I have destroyed teh relationship b/t H and BIL and that I have also and continue to destroy the relationship b/t H and MIL (herself)


That I am the reason whey H doesn't talk to her, his own mother.

It is AMAZING that a reborn catholic and how she carries on about forgiving that she has the audacity to them blame others for her own actions.


We have since found out that MIL borrowed alot of money when H's father died tragically a sum of $30, 000 and refused to pay it back to the various family members on that side of teh family because they owed that money to her!

Just because - not that they actually owed the money it was simply because she said so.


Mother like son!


To this day the money of BIL is outstanding and MIL continually denigrates me to everyone that knows me and H and inadvertantly tell us that she, MIL, is doing that and how sad she is and annoying she is.


It is heartbreaking that she can't simply say to BIL you owe H the money pay him! and apologise.  Obviously BIL will never be welcome back into our lives for whatever reason but atleast it would be peaceful.


Then there is the older BIL and his wife K - who continue to aggravate the situation.  Because when the older BIL told MIL of his engagement she told him that she would have nothing to do with him if he did go ahead and a marry K and for the last 13 years thye have been on the outer of the family and H was the favourite and then H and I were the favourite with younger BIL the most favourite and older BIL and K not at all included in the MIL life.


Now MIL and older BIL and K have a fantastic relationship and frequently visit each other and enjoy each other's company.


So sometimes it is not only the MIL';s but also the - by marriage sister in laws too.


But MIL is too much not one person would openly welcome her to their home- she has to make it known that she will be in that area and is need of a place to stay or otherwise simply invites herself to their home and often they will purposely make themselves scarce so that they don't have to tolerate her.


She frequently demanded H do a,b,c, and that he must forgive BIL of the debt otherwise she was not going to talk to him again and by H saying I am not going to do that - MIL blames me....




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