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Messages By: jenny2006

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July 23, 2005, 10:06 pm CDT

I am completely lost with this one

I thought I replied to a post and was sent right back to log in and lost all that I worked so long on. What were they thinking when they redid the boards??? LOL
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July 23, 2005, 10:35 pm CDT

lost a reply...

I did reply to your message but lost it. This new board is frustrating. It was long too. Oh, well!


I have to ask---if you are jealous of her stealing your baby boy, why on earth is she requesting he move home??? LOL Your kids financial difficulties are their difficulties and you should let them keep them!!!


I have one word for you, but it comes in multiplies, BOUNDARIES. I watched my sisters make mistake after mistake with their kids ( I was the youngest of 7) and it all boils down to, they did not set boundaries with their own kids. Now even their kids' spouses over-step that invisible line my sisters never drew. If they don't like the heat in the kitchen, they can always get out. If they end up in jail, they should bring their toothbrush. If they lose their house, they should be able to rely on each other, not mom and dad. Obviously, they have not learned to eek by and it is a lesson they won't learn if you give them an easy way out.


Family counselling is not an option if they are not willing to lay bare their mistakes and own up to them. Clear cut boundaries are the only way they will be forced to accept their responsibility for their actions or inactions. It may seem to hurt you and your husband more than them, at first, but in the long run who are they going home to??? You don't have to live with them 24/7/265. One thing to keep in mind, telling them (daughter-in-laws included) that you love them and want what is best for them if not optional but a must. Then hit them with the quidelines; such as, moving in on Mom and Dad is not acceptable, etc.. And remember, if your are obedient in your authority (as the parent), God will reward you. 


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