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Messages By: clarityknot

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June 25, 2008, 12:25 am CDT


Quote From: beccaj_7

i'll show you mine if you show me yours first, let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse :


i'm sick of life .

why can't god either just end it and get it over with .

that or make it better .

give me some freakin' sunshine .

i hate this, i'm so tired of having to hear "becca you are such a disapointment."

i'm done trying to find the good in life, because for all i know its burried in a deep hole .

nowhere to be found .


no real friends .

no real family .

nothing .

the only good family i have are drug addicts, or live a million miles away .

whatever, i'm done trying .

being dead would be less painful .




Life won't be less painful if you suicide, it just won't be.  No pain, but no possibility of change or hope or love.  Just nothing.  That is, if there is no afterlife.  If there is, who knows then, more pain, worse pain, relief, better or worse, who knows.  I know of an academic who studied people who had near death experiences, that is, people who died for a short time and came back.  He told me that without exception all of those who had died from suicidal attempts came back saying that they regretted it because they knew that there was an other side and many reported feeling ashamed of the pain they inflicted on their families and loved ones.


I don't know, it made me stop thinking about suicide.  It seemed to me if there is a life after this life, then there is no hiding from this life.  The only option is to try and live as best as I can in the here and now.  Life may be painful and it might not always be happy, but in the worst of pain, it can be meaningful and you can make that your goal.  Many artists have, in their music, art, writing.


I think you are ahead in that at least you are sick of your situation.  Many people live entire lives putting one foot in front of the other and not knowing how sick of their situation they are, they just think that is the way it ought to be.  If you are sick of your life, then don't throw it away but challenge it and change it.  If you have no real friends, make some.  If your family is away or not supportive, then make a family out of your new friends.  Please don't be offended, but usually drug addicts are not friends, they are co-enablers.  They are not so much good as they are comfortable. 


I don't think you are a disappointment and anyone who says that of you just isn't seeing your potential and that is their own crap that keeps them from seeing who you really are, I think you are just doing the best that you can.  As you gain more life experience, you will find new coping strategies, ways of living and seeing yourself and the world.  I know it is a cliche, but things do get better.  Observe successful people, happy people, challenge your thinking all the time, invite change and new experiences, rid yourself of people who are negative or who have settled on lesser self in life or those who don't appreciate you for who you are and can be.  I don't hold a moment's doubt in your potential to create the things you need and want, I see it for you, you just have to see it for yourself.


Gosh, I'm starting to sound like DrPhil!  I think I have seen one too many shows!


Love and light,



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June 25, 2008, 12:38 am CDT

Is obesity a disorder/disease?

Hello everyone, I'm a newbie here.


I wanted to ask this question because there seems to be some confusion out there and that includes me about whether obesity is an illness or disorder or not.


I mean, I can easily find clinics and academic depts studying and providing assistance for anorexics and bulimics and you can get government assistance in the form of medicare (Australia) for getting help for those eating problems but when it comes to obesity, it just doesn't exist.


Both my sister and I are morbidly obese.  I now have high bp and a heart problem.  I cannot seem to control my eating beyond a few hours to a few days.  It does seem to me to have the hallmarks of an addiction.  My sister had lapband surgery recently.  She had the money, I don't.  It cost her several thousands of dollars.  She still strongly craves food, but she just can't eat now.


It really confusing cause I don't know whether to be mad or not.  If it is a disorder, an addiction, it seems discriminatory to not provide medical assistance.  If its not, then what the hell is happening to me and others like me?


Look forward to your replies, particularly from health professionals.

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June 25, 2008, 4:39 am CDT

Over 40 and Pregnant

Quote From: ccrr79

I am 24 and I have a  2 yer old. I take my daughter to bounce play  and i get up there and play with my daughter. All the older moms i see cant even get up to the top of the slide so they just let there kids play on there own. I have a friend who is older then me and when we went , i was the one who took her daughter up the slide and stuff untill they got the hang of it. I see the other moms saying there too old or just too tired to do that suff. Well you should had your kids early so u could play with them. My husband and I we will be in our 40's when she leaves to go to college. And my husband I will still be young enough to go do the things we want to do. I pass no judgemnt on these women, but they need to know if they can keep up. If they have a kid at 40 they are going to be 50 when they are ten and 60 when they go to college. Also think of all the health risks. Your chances increase of having a baby with a disibility and yes everyone has that chance but they say women over 35 it inceases so much more. 


So, I suppose that women who might be overweight or those with a disability, lower back pain, should not have kids then because being able to get up a slide is what counts as a parent.  I would think that maturity, self-confidence, experience, knowlege, etc, all those things gained by 40 would count.  I know I would rather a confident, self-secure, intelligent and wise woman, over a 20 to 30 year old who might go up the slide but is constantly insecure, still trying to figure out the world and how to be a woman and an adult.  Someone who is gaining their learners permit on me.


I know this might come as a shock to you, but 40 is not ancient, your body doesn't disintegrate when you turn 40 or 50.  I have seen 70 and 90 year olds doing things that I would find difficult, like digging the back yard to build a garden.  It doesn't matter what age you are, you can still be fit and strong.


Besides, children should be spending most of their time with other children.  I have now raised two of my own, they only wanted to know me for as long as it took to get them to kindi and later school.  Once they hit five, you are only cramping their style if you try and hang out with them. lol.




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June 25, 2008, 7:29 pm CDT


Hi everyone,


I don't talk about this, its my first time really saying it cause it hurts too much.  I don't know if I fit in here cause the reason I am infertile is because of age and not much else.  I'm in my mid-40s.  I spent my life taking care of other people.  I took care of my younger sister, then my grandmother, then my cousin, then my family when my mum became sick, then my father who had a stroke and mum who is a diabetic, now I am raising my sister's children. 


I have never had a chance to live my own life.  I have never been on a date, last time I travelled I was 11, I've seen nothing, been nowhere, just pretty much spent my life in servitude.  I love these people but the sacrifice I am finding has been too great.  Sometimes it feels like I handed myself over to be slaughtered, didn't even bleep about it either.  Its not entirely their fault, I suffered from anxiety, I was a homebody, I made my faulty choices to stay the way I am.  Stupid choices based on fear and not knowing the price and always expecting that something would happen to change things instead of making the changes.  Changes frightened me.  I suppose I became comfortable in my self-imposed prison, as much as anyone can be living in a prison. 


There was always time to change, but at 40, I knew it was over.  I pretended that I didn't know but I knew; I knew that it was too late to turn my life around.  I would never become a mother.  I don't tell them this of course, but when mother's day comes around and my niece and nephew buy me a mother's day gift or card, it actually hurts a bit.  I love them dearly, but they aren't my children.  I don't regret stepping in and raising them, but I couldn't deal with any more, so I chose to not have mine so as to raise my sister's.  I had my chance for IVF, but I just didn't have the energy to take care of any more children.


What can I say, game over.  The only thing I can wish for now is that if you are reading this, learn from it and don't waste time and don't take anything or anyone for granted. 


Sorry about the long post.


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