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Messages By: chrisbon

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August 4, 2005, 6:28 pm CDT

so scared

  i was watching TV today and the past couple of days and all i have seen  are reports about weight lose, gain, how to lose weight, and a new show being aired on fx about ridiculing eating disorders and giving more misunderstanding to eating disorders, as if we need help being misunderstood.  

  i have fought this miserable illness for twenty five years and the last two days have been awful, I'm so scared if i start eating again i may explode! I'm feeling very anxious, at work today all anyone could talk about is there weight, complaining about how fat they are, even if there not. so i make my plans to lose more and to be perfectly thin. i get on the scale at least four times after i get home from work and twice in the morning and eat as little as possible. what are we going to do, no one understands the illness and even the size 10's think there fat, so TV continually says you need to lose more weight and we keep believing it's true and people die everyday of so called heart attacks, when they actually died of an eating disorder. when will it stop?  


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