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Messages By: lucycunning

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September 11, 2006, 4:32 pm CDT

how do I know what to believe?

I am 51 years old, divorced twice.  First time after a 25 year marriage, second time after a 1 year marriage.  I am currently living with my boyfriend of 1 year.  During this year together, we have been through a lot and have survived pretty well.  We seem to have been able to work things out and stay on track.  The one issue that will not go away is his lying to me and I am at my wits end over it.  He is an alcoholic.  He says he knows it and says he can conquer it without help from anyone or any organization.  He did go to a couple of counseling sessions with me, but has now told me that he won't go to any more because it's always just the same thing over and over and he gets nothing out of it.  He says he has quit drinking completely, but has said this before and I eventually found out that he was sneaking drinks every chance he got.  i was out of state for the summer and we made a deal that I would only return home if he got help and quit for real.  He agreed to quit but not get help.  The whole time I was away, he swore he never took a drink.  I was suspicious a couple of times during phone conversations, but he adamantely denied drinking.  Since I have returned home, I have discovered that he was indeed drinking on those occasions (and probably more).  When i confront him about it, he denies denies denies.  He will not come clean.  I don't know what to do about the lying.  I am willing to help him kick the alcohol habit, and was totally committed to that until I caught him lying about it once again.  Now I don't know if I'm just being a fool to stay around when I know he lies to me.  Would sure love some good advice.


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