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Messages By: bellasbest

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January 13, 2007, 12:31 pm CST

young? moms

Young moms or moms of young children?  I had my first child at 47 and my second at 48.  New mothers, both young and old and those who have adopted, invariably have the same questions about child rearing.  Please try not to lump all new mothers as young.  Thanks.

"Old" Mom in Virginia.

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May 19, 2007, 7:03 pm CDT

How/when to tell?

Although I birthed both of my children, they are only distantly related to me. My husband and I used my niece's eggs due to fertility issues on my part.  Now I have 2 healthy beautiful children and no one, except the three of us, knows the truth.  Should the children be told?  If so, when and how?  What about my brother and his wife?  They are technically the grandparents.  Of course we talked about this before we went through all the procedures, but it was all so abstract then.  Who knew if we would even be successful?  But now that they're here I find myself shying away from disclosure.  I don't want an elephant in the room!  Help!

PS - With so many women nowadays using egg/sperm donors this is a growing issue.  I'd really like to know how others are handling it.  A few decades ago children were rarely told they were adopted.  Now it is common for a child to know and acknowledge being adopted.  I wonder how children of "the miracle of modern chemistry" will be regarded.


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