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Messages By: smcdaniel

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July 26, 2005, 2:51 pm CDT


My husband and I love each other very much and have a wonderful relationship.  We have no trouble communicating, no real issues, nothing is wrong.


We were talking the other morning in bed before we got up, and my husband said that sometimes when we have sex, he thinks about other women.  No one woman in particular, and it's not all the time, but I was very surprised by this.  I have no problem with him looking at pornography occasionally; I understand that this is just another sexual outlet and it doesn't bother me at all.  But to think about someone else while we are actually having sex? 


He says it means nothing and that it's normal; that all guys do this sometimes.  Is that right?

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July 27, 2005, 2:26 pm CDT

Is This Normal?

Quote From: qqqhhh

Even though I can say that I am not the most experienced partner in the bedroom, I've been married 3 times and all have said they fantasize about other women and sometimes about other men -- if you want to get really honest.


In my current marriage, I was also surprised to find out that my hubby's many past girlfriends ALSO fantasized about other people INCLUDING women.


I also could care less about porn.  I fully understand that porn is ALSO fantasy and it is NO reflection of me or who I am.


So I choose not to take any sexual fantasy personally.


I also fully believe in trusting my partner and giving him the benefit of the doubt.  He has given me NO reason not to trust him.  If my hubby says that a fantasy during sex means nothing, then I TRUST HIM to mean what he says.


Personally, I would RATHER he be completely honest with me than keep any secrets, you know?



I really, really appreciate your taking the time to reply to my question.


I do completely trust my husband, and he has given me absolutely no reason not to trust him.  He is a wonderful person.


Thanks again!

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July 13, 2006, 10:57 am CDT

Please help

My husband of 3 years just got arrested for indecent exposure; he was arrested before but told me that it was a mistake and his record was expunged.   


He said that it started with pornography, but then progressed with stress to public exposure and sometimes masturbation.  This has been going on since a month before we got married, and he has lied to me about it every day for 3 years.  He says that he is addicted to this behavior, and has an appointment with a sex therapist.   


What do I do?  How can I ever trust this man again?  I take my wedding vows very seriously and I know this sounds stupid, but my husband is a wonderful man and I love him so much.  But I don't know if I should get out now or if he (we) has a chance at a normal life.   


If you know anything about this, please help.  I feel so alone. 


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