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Messages By: techguydm

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July 24, 2005, 8:03 am CDT

New Habits

In my 2nd year of being single, I seem to be only moving backward. I am still attempting to reconcile what should be buried by now. I have read many self helps in attempts to move forward I understand the process and have begun the work required to reach success. My ex and I have become sexually active in the last 7 months.(initiated by me) each encounter we express our concerns about the wrong we are doing and say this wont reoccur. but it continues, I have decided that for some reason that I have not been able to express to my ex. this is a obvious sign that we should attempt repairing our family not just for us but also our 2 children(13&5). I'm confused and have the desire to end this destructive behavior. I try eventhough I dont hold out much hope that he will ever be my husband, for his pride and having to admit he made a mistake are 2 things that are impossible to overcome. I need some new ideas regarding acceptance and living with what I cant change, for I understand that no matter how obvious the signs are I cant make him see, or act in accordance with what should be.
You say that your ex will not admit to a mistake and that there will be no reconciliation. I don't know your specifics, and would probably not understand even if I did. To me it sounds as though you are asking someone to tell you what you already know, move on. Perhaps this is asking you to be a little selfish, but it may be time. For your children and for yourself.

I am a firm believer that we replace one habit with another. You say that what is happining is wrong, then replace it. Find a new passion and move on. Easier said than done, and requires infinite soul searching, but it's well worth it.

I will also include that I am still doing a lot of searching in my own life. New habits can be fun and rewarding (scary at times too), if properly thought out.


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