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Messages By: natalie878

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July 28, 2005, 7:48 am CDT

If I had it to do over again...

My bf and I have lived together for nearly 4 years now, I'm 47 and he's 50, but if I had it to do over again, I'd just date or spend weekends cohabitating!

When we first started dating, I thought here is the most honest upfront guy, holds nothing back, wow, I didn't have that in my marriage of 23 years. We had a great time, the kids all got along great, all was wonderful. We moved in together and silly me had visions of getting remarried and he just kept saying, I'm not ready for that or I need to be sure before we do that..the blow comment was I want to be sure you're the one. That hurt..alot. It certainly made me back off and rethink my position. Increasingly I felt the need to stay 'single'.

Lo and behold ON our 3 year anniversary early in the morning there was a knock at the door, with a woman standing there..asking for him. He came back from the door white as a ghost holding papers, even with sleepy eyes, I could see they were DIVORCE papers. I didn't have a CLUE that he was married. You could have knocked me over with a feather!!!!! They had been married for 3 1/2 years, she disappeared after 4 mo. of marriage, and he'd never heard from her again until that day.

After a blur of lawyers he was divorced in 6 weeks. He just thought she'd fall off the face of the earth I guess.LOL

NOW  he's all into let's get married blah blah blah, and I have no interest what so ever. He took the 'us' out of trust and it's something I can't get past. I've bought a house with only my name on it, we still live together, altho I sometimes really wonder why..




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