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Topic : 01/18 "Fighting Over the Will"

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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:25:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 11/29/05) When you imagine receiving an inheritance, you might dream that all your financial problems would be solved. But sometimes, the money is more trouble than it's worth. Eighty-four-year-old Aileen inherited a 2,000-acre farm after her husband died. But is her granddaughter, Amber, jumping the gun by wanting her mother's name on the title now? Then, Tracy says her 19-year-old son, Mark, changed when he came into a large inheritance this year after his dad passed away. She says the money wasn't what changed her son, but his long-lost friend, Brandon. Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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January 30, 2008, 2:32 pm CST

Judges don't honor Wills

     I am 1 of 4 siblings  whose mother passed several years ago and she did leave a Will which she had drawn up by an Attorney.  After my mothers death , the lawyer refused to give us a copy or the Will. My younger sister, who was named  Executor, also used this same attorney and  we feel he was abiding by her wishes to not give out a copy to her siblings. She had a copy of out Moms Will ,because our Mom lived in a basement apartment, in my youngest sister's home. Our Mom built and furnished the basement apartment years before she died. When our Mom died, out sister refused to let us come into our Moms apartment home saying it now all belonged to her. She would not probate the Will until 2 years later, after we took her to court, forcing her to do so. But, the judge would not make her honor our Moms wishes that were stated in the Will.Our Mom had purchased extra graves when she bought her own, so we could be buried near her and our stepdad.  But, when our Mom died these graves became property of the Estate and the Judge ordered us to pay to the Estate the value of the graves if we wanted to have them. Our sister knows the graves were to be given to us and our Moms wishes for us to have them. She refuses to honor any of our Moms wishes to divide all personal property and the graves our Mom had for us. We believe she wants to sell all for her profit.
March 30, 2008, 5:38 pm CDT

I need feedback and advice

Quote From: lh2000

If you got your mother's time and the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing you got the better end of the deal.  They have to live with what they did and even though you might not see it that is not an easy task.  You can feel good that you took the high road and did the right thing and know that your mother had two great loving daughters who were with her when she needed them.   You should have a smile in your heart for how you handled yourself and not worry about anyone else. 





You don’t need to sit in judgment of your sisters that will be taken of.  They know what they did and they will have to answer for that in the end. 

My mom has emphzyma and she lives with me and my 6 year old daughter.  Can you give me any insight to the pain my mom will go through and how someone with emphzyma dies.  I dont want her to be in pain and want to do all I can.  She is my best friend and my daugters world.  I need someone to help me to understand and there is nothing out there.  I have looked. Only a person who has live with someone with emphzyma and was there when they passed knows.  Doctors dont even know because they have no emotion.  If you could help me with your insights and details my daughter and I could prepare and do all we can to make her comfortable.  I dont want to say should of would of could of email me at
April 15, 2008, 9:06 am CDT


If you are with in a family relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When a family member in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into family systems and dysfunctions are:


How to Settle An Estate by Charles Plotnick and Stephan Leimberg AND High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss OR Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior by Wayne Oates

What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse: Breaking the Cycle of Violence by Vernon Wiehe OR Understanding Family Violence: Treating and Preventing Partner, Child, Sibling and Elder Abuse by Vernon Wiehe

The Narcissistic Family:  Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman OR Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin


Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge OR Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak

How to Journal for Therapy: 


Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.


There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining. Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life.

Hope it helps!



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