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Topic : 10/25 Deadly Injustice

Number of Replies: 540
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Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 02:49:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

You never think that your family will be hurt by someone you know, let alone someone you once cared for. But that's exactly what happened to one family. The story begins in a small town in Oklahoma, a safe place just like any town in the heartland of America. Donna and Jerry dated for five years, but when Donna tried to break off the relationship, she could never have predicted the lengths to which Jerry would go to hurt her. This real life drama unfolds with horror and violence and unimaginable twists and turns, but ends with a message of hope. See what good Dr. Phil believes can come from an unthinkable tragedy. Join the discussion.


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October 25, 2005, 7:49 am CDT

I have known that fear

       How can you say to the family with such a horrible loss that there is good that can come from this tragedy?  Katlin's death will not and should not be in vain.  She can be the reason that many lives are saved because laws were made stronger and stricter. 


       27 years ago my ex-husband was caught in the act of stabbing his 16 year old girlfriend on a back road.  He was 25 at the time.  He was held a gun point until the State Police arrived to take him into custody.  She was stabbed several times, but not mortally.  He was allowed to plea bargain down to aggravated assault and received 1 1/2 to 3 years in Attica State prison.  I tried to get a protection order from family court for myself and especially my infant daughter (he had also been arrested for child molestation, but never convicted). The parole board even called the court to say that it should issue the order of protection as he was considered dangerous.  The court said no as he had done nothing to us to warrant it.  The parole officer called 1 day to say that he had jumped parole and they had no idea where he was.  He was finally caught and sent back only to be released 3 months later.  IT WAS THE LAW!  He finally threatened to take her from her school when she was 6 and filed for custody.  I counter filed for the order of protection.  He never showed in court and I received a permanent order of protection for my daughter (which no longer can be done.  It can only be for 6 months at a time).  For several years after that my daughter went nowhere without someone with her.  It is a horrendous feeling to have to live in fear of his showing up anywhere.  She is 27 now and we got through it.  We were far more fortunate than this family, but have total respect and support for them and their endeavor to change the law so that this can never happen again. 


       We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. 

October 25, 2005, 7:53 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

this message to the family, this is so sad.  please know that my prayers are with you and my deepest sympathies.  please to the other daughter, know your sister would want you to still enjoy life and not be sad all the time.  try to live life to the fullest since she was not able to, due to that horrible man.  don't let this tragedy have killed you too, dont let him do it to you and hold the power over you when he is dead and in hell. know your sister is looking down on you from heaven and wants to see you doing all the things she was robbed of.  I will look into helping changing the law that failed your family..sincerely toni
October 25, 2005, 7:54 am CDT

10/25 deadly injustice

 My heart goes out to the family and friends. It's really sad that it takes a tragedy to happen before people see that our law is not perfect. I pray that that the family and friends will get thru this and a law is passed to stop it from happening again.
October 25, 2005, 8:04 am CDT

appalled in NC

I just want the family to know that my heart goes out to you.  I was in an abusive relationship years ago before my son was born & I can't even wrap my brain around how it must feel to lose a child.  I hope everything you are trying to accomplish with the Kaitlin's law, works out the way it should.  I will do my part from here because I know for a fact that I want the same type of law to be available here.  Again, god bless you & hang in there.  You are in my prayers!
October 25, 2005, 8:08 am CDT

When will this stop

This story is such a tragic situation for this family.  I hope that this publicity will help change the laws and soon.  Lawmakers seem to think that a piece of paper is going to protect people from selfish, psychotic lunatics like Jerry.  All I can say is that the best way to handle a situation like this is to go after that person before they get you.
October 25, 2005, 8:13 am CDT

Something isn't right!

Yes, the law needs to change!  They have tougher laws in Juvenile Detention!  We recently were involved in a situation where a 17 year old boy was sent to juvenile detention for not listening to his mother.  She lied about him running away so that they would arrest him.  We have all the evidence that he didn't run away, and evidence of him being a good kid.  His mother has mental problems; however, the courts are on her side.  I recently sent a letter to the judge who put him on house arrest, and of course, I never heard back.  Not only did this child get put in Juvenile Detention for the night, which scared him to death, but he is on home dentention for 4 months.  He can't talk to his best friends, which all go to his very small school, and he cannot step outside of his home.  He has a parole officer who checks on him on the hour, and he has to attend anger management classes.  This child lives right across from the school; however, his mother reported him as a runaway, but he attended school every day, and attended football practice, but the court is still on her side!  They have ruined this child, he will never be the same!  I just hope he doesn't turn out like the man they let go, the man who killed this innocent 16 year old girl.  My heart goes out to this  family.  Lets all pull together and get the law changed!    

October 25, 2005, 8:27 am CDT

bless your family

I just finished watching the show.  My heart is breaking.  Ironically, I have a daughter also born 

Jan. 17, 1989 and her name is Amanda (the name of Donna's younger daughter).  I can not 

imagine what you have gone through.   I hope you will find peace in the fact that across the country your family has touched the world today.  I can't imagine anyone watching your story not wanting to help assure that this never happens to another child.  Kaitlin will not be forgotten and Kaitlin's Law will come to happen.  I'm not in Oklahoma, but Ohio.  I promise you that I will spend the next few weeks getting the word out across this state that we must help your family accomplish this.  For all of our children and our loved ones.  God Bless You and your family. 

October 25, 2005, 8:34 am CDT

Always remember her

I watched the show today and my heart goes out to this family I just want to let them know that my prays will be with them and that I will pray with all my heart and soul that they can get the law in place before something like this happens to anyone else's. GOD BE WITH EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.
October 25, 2005, 8:51 am CDT


I feel your family, and this shouldn't of happened at all. The laws need to be reviewed, times have changed. 


Your daughter will be greatly missed by all, keep strong and keep the faith! 

October 25, 2005, 8:55 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

I'm not sure a "flawed" system is the problem.  


A high bail was set ($200,000) based on the evidence at hand and there were no known mitigating circumstances to consider raising the initial bail, and bail was met by the suspect from his own resources (and that would suggest a stable individual, at least I would think so in the Court's eyes, unless he came into funds improperly, and that didn't seem to be an issue).  


Then, after the fact, a previous (20 years earlier) alleged violent act was to have occurred but never brought to Court because it was never filed. Was it a kidnapping, a domestic violence issue, what? And why was it never reported oifficially?  


I think that where the flaw is, is if a person can years later claim to have been a victim of something that occurred years earlier, and had that alleged offender been prosecuted the years earlier it may have affected the outcome of a later serious offense bond hearing.  


But how do you write a law to deal with that? If someone does NOT report having been violated by another person and then that same other person commits an egregious act much, much later, perhaps even years later, then we're on the horns of a dilemma.  


As Dr. Phil often has said, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and I would suggest that this offender's murderous outburst would have flown under almost every state's radar based on his described-for-bail-purposes past behavior. 


You can bet that the uncle with 17 years law enforcement experience was as blindsided as everyone else, and even though it wasn't mentioned I'd bet he may have have been surprised at the amount of the bail but he probably had no reason to think if it was met that his niece's life was in danger. He might have thought that the worst that would happen was that his sister might get hurt somehow but her moving away "solved" that.  


Who was to know and how do you legislate for that unknown? 


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