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Topic : 09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Number of Replies: 63
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Created on : Thursday, August 25, 2005, 04:29:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Women often say, "I wish I was skinny," or "Do I look fat?" But what does it mean for their daughters? Michelle says her 13-year-old, Megan, spends most of her time looking in the mirror and picking herself apart. Her self-hatred is starting to take its toll on their family. Then, Tisha has struggled with her weight and low self-esteem all of her life. Now she fears that she's passing those issues down to her 8-year-old who weighs herself every day and calls herself fat. Plus, 19-year-old Irene lost 80 pounds, but says she's still unhappy. Along with supermodel Daisy Fuentes, Dr. Phil offer tools to help raise your daughter's self-esteem. Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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September 2, 2005, 9:25 pm CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Quote From: miller

Hi I'm 38 years old and I'm 5'3 and weigh 167 lbs. no matter what do I can't seem to lose weight. My fiance eats 3-4 meals a day and he'll till he is stuffed. Everytime makes something he wants me to eat also. I tell him I'm not hungary. I would really like to lose about 30lbs. any suggestions????

Hi there,  

Your stats show that you're a bit overweight, but not too much.  It sounds like your fiance loves you very much, and doesn't feel the need for you to change.  It's usually good to talk about these things... extra weight can put stress on your heart and organs, so it's important for your health to lose a little bit of weight.  They say losing as little as 10% of your body weight can improve your health significantly.  If you talk to him and tell him that you want to eat a bit healthier, he will probably support you.  You could do it together, and who knows... maybe he'll benefit too!  Good luck! 

September 2, 2005, 9:26 pm CDT

Good job Tisha from Illinois

Way to go Tisha from Paris, Illinois. I am your neighbor from nearby Danville, Illinois. I was on the Dr. Phil Show in 2003 and 2004. Loved the experience and loved the staff and the Doc.  


You looked wonderful and you did a great job. Your daughter was adorable.   


The dog and I enjoyed the show.  


"The Crying Mom" 2003 and 2004     

  Elisabeth >^,,^<  


September 2, 2005, 9:37 pm CDT

Don't worry

Quote From: dixiegurl5

I have had trouble with self esteem issues most of my 35 yrs. I am happy to say that now i have lost almost 45 lbs (wiegh less than i did when i married my husband) but i still have those little insecurities. I can remember maybe at the age of 10 my mother telling me that if i kept eating my "ass was going to be as big as that refrigerator" Believe it or not those words still haunt me to this day.My son is having a little bit of a weight issue but instead of putting him down i try to encourage him and praise him and set healthy eating examples for him. He reminds me so much of myself. He is very hard on himself and  perfectionist. My heart goes out to children that are ridiculed and put down. May god give them the strength to keep fighting the battle and come out winners like they already are!
If your mother keeps on saying that, she's going to be kissing what big ass you have (Just kidding!) ... I think you are doing very well as a mother from what you said. Like people say, there's no time like the present. So, forget about what happened years ago, and starting making your life and your children's the best possible!
September 2, 2005, 10:30 pm CDT

thats horrible

I probably am one of the young users on this website and i can relate to those girls alot. I never thought I was fat or anything but I knew exactly what they are going through and i must say that those girls shouldnt stay like that. they are really young as was I and looked like them also but i am now 15 and i look nothing like i did. once they start growing and gettin older their image will change and hopefully the appreciation for themselves, as did mine. I hope those families actually read all of these messages set out for them. 

but then again i never had a parent tell me oh yeah your fat just because they were getting frustrated. that should never happen 

September 3, 2005, 5:43 am CDT

Guilty of this too

Im ashamed to say im guilty of the bad mouthing myself in front of the mirror and my daughter.  And I KNOW better!  So I have absolutley no excuse!  :(  


After my last baby I topped the scales at 198.  I lost the baby weight and got down to 145.  6 years(took about a year to get it off) later I have gone from 145 to 155 (im 5'5) and sometimes get so angry at myself for allowing that.  Isnt that the most stupid thing?  I get all upset with myself over 10 frickin pounds!  Lately ive been allowing it to bother me so of course I make some fudge.  Good thinking on my part, eh?    


A couple days ago I started in with the, "Oh dear mommy is getting so dang fat!" in front of my daughter.  She of course tells me im crazy and am not fat.  Well then I back peddle cus I know that im being selfish and stubborn and flat out wrong to say anything at all like that in front of her.  So I tell her(which is actually the truth of how I feel)"Well, I dont REALLY think im fat I just wanna drop some weight cus its easier to lose 10 pounds then 20 pounds"  But ya know, I dont think that makes any damn difference.  She still heard me bad mouth myself and im as wrong as wrong can be to do that in front of my 14 (almost 15) year old!    


The irony is I could take lessons from my daughter!    She is a bit overweight and she doesent give a rats behind.  Shes is self assured, confident, doesent care what others say, is completley happy with herself.  I also happen to think she looks incredibly cute but somehow manage to judge myself with completley different standards.    


After watching the show yesterday I promised myself she will NEVER hear me say anything bad about myself again.  Thats a promise I will keep!  Reading the messages, I find it sad how so many women are so hard on themselves.  Seems it doesent matter what anyone else says to us either.  Our husbands(as mine does all the time) can tell us how beautiful we are how great we look that we are sexy and all that and it doesent matter to us.  We continue to play those tapes in our heads of the perfect look and the perfect weight.   


  I think its time for a revolt!  ;)  

September 3, 2005, 7:03 am CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Quote From: duchess1

Dear Concerned Parent,  

How old is your daughter? What kind of A relationship do the two of you have? Definetley communication is a big one for relationship.  Being clean is  important but some don't care about there habits to much. Would you agree?  

She is 14 and 5' 4''.  We have a reasonably peaceful relationship.  She is a quiet girl.  She is very messy though, messier than her 3 little brothers put together.  This confuses me because she gets good grades.  But this weight thing is all about a boy.  I mean in her note she had a list of all the things she had to do if she ate something she shouldn't like do 100 sit ups or 10 laps around the track.  And a list of all the reasons she wanted to lose this weight including this boy who really doesn't know she exists because she doesn't talk to him.  And probably has no clue she is busy losing weight for him.  Thanks.
September 3, 2005, 7:45 am CDT

Be happy with what you have

 I can't understand why you're not satisfied with your body, I don't see anything is wrong with it.
You should be happy with you're body and realise that there are people who look worse. Be happy with the fact that you're healthy, there are people who aren't and who are suffering from diseases like Aids. I'm trying to say with this that you've got to look at the things you have and not the things you don't have. You should realise that you're a very lucky girl.
September 3, 2005, 11:32 am CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

  I know how these people feel, kinda. I'm 5'8'' and 209lb.s (at 15...) and see myself as a disgusting blob. But I could never starve myself. I see food as something pleasurable (southern); guess thats why I'm still fat...
 Unlike these people though, my self-loathing includes a few more features about myself than weight. I think these people should find a hobby, something that doesn't include a mirror, to take thier mind off thier own self image. Thats what I do.
I also noticed that many of these girls were the "popular" kind. This can add lots of stress to be thin. I never got along with those kind and tend to hang out with the social outcasts, no preassure there. But yes, I understand the basics of what these girls are going through.
September 3, 2005, 1:22 pm CDT

Stupid people make clothes

Lately i've been growing a strong hate for people that make clothes.
One of my biggest problems is trying to find pants that fit.  Being 4'9" it is very hard to find pants that are short enough, and having more round legs than most short people do, it just makes it that much harder to find pants, either the waist is to big or they are to long, or the pants are way to much money that could be spend better in something else. I've given up trying to find female pants that fit.     My father being a shorter man has always had the same problem as i do, all the pants he owns he has to either roll them up or hem them.   I do know that there is a Mens big and tall, but why don't they have a Mens big and short? And why isn't there a store for females that really have bodies and you don't have to spend your whole paycheck on getting one pair of pants? It seems that alot of people making clothes think that everyone female is rich, 5'5" and weigh 100, i just don't understand how this can be done and be getting away with it so easy.

From a small town in michigan
a perturbed farm girl
September 3, 2005, 3:06 pm CDT

Be Happy!

Don't try to become perfect for a guy because if you find a guy whose face and body is perfect there is probably going to be something "disconnected" in his brain.  And you will be setting yourself up to be hurt. (You young girls listen up!  Although this isn't a negative "man" comment cuz it could be the other way around of a guy finding a perfect girl.)   I think a person is who they are on the inside:  the things that interest them, the things they like to do, their job and their habits.   I think you should try to do the best with what you have and BE HAPPY!  If you are able to fix something, then do it, but don't obscess on it.  Distract yourself. Don't hang around with the people who put you down or TUNE OUT the one's you are STUCK with who put you down. One person's TRASH is another's person's TREASURE.  One person may reject you for your weight, but another will gladly be your friend.   I don't care how much people weigh.  It is none of my business. 
The people who I know who are overweight seem to be MORE HUMBLE and sensitive not to hurt other people's feelings because they know what it feels like to have their feelings hurt.
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