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Topic : 05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

Number of Replies: 45
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Created on : Friday, May 08, 2009, 02:41:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever thought about how your relationship with your dad affects your life? A daughter who has a positive relationship with her father often has a better chance of thriving in life. But for girls who realize they're not Daddy's little girl, the damage to their life can be devastating. Lauren says her dad has not been there for her emotionally and financially, and she blames him for everything that has gone wrong in her life. They fight often, and she says she wants to let go of him and move on, but her father, Gary, wants her back in his life. Lauren has a college degree but is working in a scandalous profession. Is her job choice related to her relationship with her father? When father and daughter reveal important information they've each been hiding, how will they react to each other’s revelations? What do Lauren and Gary need to do to move forward with their lives, and will it include having a relationship with each other? Then, Angela and her daughter, Lily, are both experiencing the aftermath of not having a relationship with their fathers. Angela says she's had problems with men her entire life and worries Lily will also. Lily says her father is not there for her, and she has given up hope that they can revive their relationship. Are Angela's actions causing a rift between Lily and her father? Dr. Phil has a stern warning for the teen. Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 17, 2009, 10:37 am CDT

GEEEZ this is long winded

Quote From: mswinkler

I cried through the whole 1st segment of this show as I could understand how this girl felt.  I didn't have the exact same problem but I understood her.  My parents got divorced when I was 10 yrs old, before my little brother was even born.  I remember his girlfriend (my fathers) coming over to the house and slapping my mom in the face telling her "That's not Willie's child, he told me he isn't sleeping with you".  I remember my mom crying as though it was yesterday and it was 38 yrs ago.  My father did tell her he was the father but never had any contact with my little brother.  He quit paying child support when I was 14 yrs old.  I also have an older brother who never talked with my father again till in his 40's.  I always wanted my Daddy.  Singing Daddy Don't you Walk so Fast (By Wayne Newton) every day because I wanted him to come back home.  Skip ahead till I graduated from High School.  He told me he would be there but he NEVER came.  I still wanted him in my life only to get hurt by him every time I tried to talk with him.  At 22 I had my son Nathan.  Sad thing was he was created through a Date Rape; Ive never got over that.  At that point my dad did come around, even wanting to be in the room with me while I went through labor.  I was happy, but in the end he only wanted his Grandson.  After Nathan was born I returned to school to become a Nurse.  Because I was living back at home with my mom I was not eligible for Financial Aid. So I called my father to see if he could help, as always "Let me talk with Carol and see".  He always put in on my step mother I believe so he didn't seem like the bad guy.  The answer was always the same "No Money".  I knew better my father was CEO of big Engineering Co. in CA.  Buy this time I had a little sister who I loved dearly.  I went on to become a Licensed Nurse.  After about 5 yrs I tried again to be Daddy's Little Girl that was ALL I EVER WANTED.  My father and I started having a fair relationship when I was in my 30's or as good as I thought it was going to get.  We called and talked, visited, he spent time with his Grandson which in the end only made my relationship with my son more difficult.  To this day my son won't talk to me saying "No one believes anything you say, especially about my Dad.  Your whole family hates you".  On my 40th birthday my father called, thought to wish me Happy Birthday, he didn't even say anything about that.  He told me he had been diagnosis with Leukemia early that year.  He died 5yrs. later.  But during those 5yrs I felt we were getting closer again.  At this time I was working Hospice, and I was so glad that I was finally getting close with my dad as I knew his life was short at this time. My father would call me about every 2wks to update me.  Me and my boyfriend drove to NC 2 times to spend time with him.  I even got to meet cousins I never knew I had.  I knew he had a sister but he also had 2 brothers that had died early in life.  My sister called me one day crying and saying "If you want to see your Dad again you better come now.  He had a stroke and won't be here much longer".  Thankfully being a Hospice Nurse my employer understood and I was able to leave the following morning and drove all day to get to NC from MI.  When I arrived I couldn't believe what my dad looked like, I had just seen him the 4th of July and this was the end of August.  He looked more like one of my patients then he did my dad.  I spent the week with him.  We went to daily Drs Office visit to get labs done and we also went to an EENT as he had lost his voice when he had his stroke.  The Dr. examined him and even let me see his vocal cords that nothing was wrong.  She felt that he had just gotten use to not talking and still having his needs met and that his family needed to encourage him to talk and speak up, and his family not be so easy on him to not talk.  After the weekend he seemed so well I felt comfortable returning home.  He did really well for about 4 months.  We talked weekly if not more, he still didn't talk allot, but then he never did really talk with me.  The beginning of Dec his blood work came back bad and he needed another dose of Chemo.  He called and let me know himself and said "I'll be better by Christmas".  My sister called me couple days later and said "Dad's heart stopped last night, he's in the ICU on a vent.  Can you please come out NOW"?  By now my relationship with my little sister was better then ever, you would never know that we had different mothers.  We look more like mother/daughter then sister/sister.  I flew out the following morning, and my sister took me straight to the hospital.  I had also made reservations for my son to fly out earlier that week before the Chemo was given to my father.  It was good to see him again, as he hadn't spoken to me in years.  That was until he wanted to fly out and see his Grandfather.  My father was in a chemical induced coma due to the vent, which is normal as patients try to pull the tube out even when it's needed.  After 4days and as a family we decided to take him off the vent, and see how he does.  My sister never came to hospital except after work for about 20 min and then goes home.  I couldn't understand why she wouldn't want to be with dad more but everyone is different and I understood.  At this point my son had to return home to his job, even when he didn't want to.  I felt he had finally grown up into a responsible man, and maybe we would get another chance.  Dad came back after the vent was removed.  On Thur the Dr. said we need to talk.  "We can continue another dose of chemo which he needed now, or he could decide to let the disease take its course.  My father chose to let the disease take over.  We were all there Carol (his wife of 30yrs now) my older brother who still hasn't spoken to me since we were 17/18 and me (Still wanting to be Daddy's little girl).  After my father made this decision and the Dr. left he said to me "Pam it's time for you to push that button like you do at work".  I explained that wasn't how it worked and that he was going to be with us through Christmas if not longer (My Dream) but deep down I knew better.  To which he changed the subject and started talking about the Funeral/Will and taking care of Carol and Julie.  Chris said he would be there for all of that as he lived about 3miles away.  He then looked at me and said "I've written a will and Matthew (Julie's son) will have a full college scholarship set up, and that Nathan (My son) would get NOTHING.  He then said that his 3 children (Which he has 4) would get 10% of whatever was left to which Carol turned around and said "There's NOTHING LEFT".  I was able to spend some private time with my father, he asked me "I hope your being nice to Carol when I'm not there", and always wanted me to "push that button".  I asked him like I ask all my patients "Do you want to be alone or do you want your family with you".  To which he answered "I don't want to be alone.  I want to see Nathan again and my sister (my Aunt) Id also like to talk with Greg (My Little brother).  So I talked with Carol and she called his sister and I called my son and made arrangements for him to come out as soon as he was able.  Chris contacted Greg who didnt want to talk with dad saying I dont even know him or know what to say  Aunt Gladys and Uncle Jim arrived the following morning.  At this time my father had been transferred to the Hospice Unit.  As a Hospice Nurse I would never want anyones family member to be there, they did absolutely nothing to care for my father.  I bathed him and tired to feed him.  When teaching came they didn't do anything, I had to tell my family about Terminal Restlessness, Apnea and everything he was experiencing.  In a way I was thankful I was there but in a way I wish I wasnt.  He died Dec 16, 2006 at 1:30am.  My son arrived later that morning and was mad that I had sent him home (that was his choice) and that he wasnt able to be with his Grandfather.  My husband came down to the funeral to be with me.  I am so THANKFUL for him as if it wasnt for him I wouldnt have anyone.  After my father died my sister hasnt spoken with me, I call her and she never returns my call.  My son continues to not talk with me.  He's now married and I'm a Grandmother.  So if it wasnt for my husband I would be alone in this world.  To this girl I feel her pain; to her father I hope you truly miss her.  To BOTH Forgive 1st and hopefully in the end you can Forget.  Live is to short to be so ANGRY with each other.

Jeez lady...this is a message board....not a place for your manuscript for your autobiography...damn, this was way tooo much information. This needed to be in a letter to Dr Phil so you could try to get on this show...which is what i think you are trying to do.

This is a place for us to talk about the guests and the topics of the SHOW...not a place to ramble on about your life....sorry but that's just how i feel, and so do many other people.

May 17, 2009, 10:40 am CDT


Quote From: mellygirl70

It is time for this spoiled brat to grow up.  She sounds so entitled.  Her dad needs to support himself not his grown daughter.  I usually agree with you, Dr. Phil, but you got this one wrong.  Her issue IS all about the money.  She is manipulative and self centered.  She did not just lose her mother.  Her father also lost his wife and it seems to me that he is suffering also.  I have agreed to help my kids with their college expenses.  I would hope that when the time comes that my finances will still allow me to do so.  If not, I would hope that I have raised my children with enough compassion and love that they will, instead, think of all the other ways that I was a good parent. GROW UP, GET OFF YOUR BACK, GET A REAL JOB AND JOIN THE REAL WORLD!!!!!

No fricking kidding. YOU said it...this chick ws really getting under my skin...and why was Doc Phil slamming this poor dad so hard? He cannot be that blind to not see what this chick was doing? it is obvious he has sons and not daughters....she is playing Doc Phil like a freaking violin. SHe wanted some attention, and I hate to say this....but I cant believe a man would pay for how....they would have to be desperate as all get out...she is lying about being an escort. i know way is she doing that. she is day dreaming, on tv....and lying to get her father to feel worse than he already does.
May 19, 2009, 5:06 pm CDT

This man is moronic!

Forget about the fact that this gal and her dad do not have a relationship worthy of speaking of, this man was just plain weird.  It was all I could do not to throw a tomato at my tv.  He was such a baby!  Crying and being so defensive when it wasn't even an appropriate moment to do so.  WEIRD, and what was with his "private" area.  Looked like he stuffed his pants with a cantelope.......Dr. Phil, how could you compose yourself with this guy....I'd put him out on his "cantelope"
May 21, 2009, 12:58 pm CDT

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? That is what Dr. Phil asked this father when he commented on how his wife apologized for having been too close with their daughter. He seemed so shocked that anyone would say such a thing. I truly believe that this mother squeezed the father out when their daughter got to the stage where she was interested in boys. She may have felt that he was too strict or would react badly to things the daughter may do. It sounds as if the mother shielded the daughter from the consequences of her actions and on her death bed may have had an idea of the consequences of her own behaviour on the father daughter relationship. This was an essential element in this story and I believe should have been explored further. Sure the father is acting like a petulant child and the daughter is acting like a spoiled princess but I think a better understanding of the mother's role in this situation would be helpful to both of them.                 
May 30, 2009, 1:43 pm CDT

Not so sure I wanna post this, but here goes . . .

This show brings back a lot for me, and I can identify with her, because my relationship with my dad is bad, too.  We won't go into trashing my dad on here, but I can really relate to the "guilt-induced" money arguments.  To this very day that is his favorite tactic  --  and I see it as that.  He may love me, but that is a funny way of showing it.


I agree with Dr. Phil's basic advice to the father  --  watch this tape 10 times   --  and get over yourself.   I also agree with his advice to HER  --  she has to stop what she's doing, she needs to get help with the addiction one aquires in those types of jobs to the "fast money" and power-trip/attention-seeking aspects of the job (I know whereof I speak on this one, so just trust me, it's there), find another way to get the money and respect you want, and try to reinvent the relationship  --  if HE can do that.

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