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Topic : 05/06 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 2

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Created on : Friday, May 01, 2009, 10:09:41 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Four families tired of the fighting, yelling, chaos and conflict in their home move into The Dr. Phil House. Dr. Phil puts them to work right away with exercises and assignments that encourage the children to open up and the parents to confront their own mistakes. After hearing each other’s frustrations, will the parents wake up to what they’re doing wrong? One mom turns the camera on her daughter to show her bad behavior, but Dr. Phil sees something even more troubling. Are you making this common discipline mistake? If you knew you could be scarring your child for life, would you want to know? Tune in and learn how to parent your tween or teen in a way that will make him or her happy, secure and successful! Join the discussion.

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May 13, 2009, 3:18 pm CDT

05/06 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 2

Quote From: cccgrandsons

Tammy brought Davia there to get Davia help but I sure hope she sees that it is her ownself that needs help.  When Davia told Tammy she wanted to go into the 'timeout room', what a perfect time to hold her and love her-Davia told her mother she was sorry for lying and causing problems and willing to work on them.  Yet Tammy belittled her for it.  Tammy-HUG your child whether you FEEL like it or not.  You say you loved her at one time.  I would bet that at one time you started withholding your hugs, kisses and warmth from her as a punishment and in doing so, you lost your love.  Please Tammy, Davia is begging you to hug her for heaven's sake-we can all see it, why can't you?  What if something happened to Davia and you didn't hug her on her last day  and this was all she ever wanted, what a shame.  You can't give her something you feel you have to be 'true' to yourself over-oh PLEASE? Hug your child before it's too late. 
I was thinking the same thing when I watched the part with the "time out" room - I kept thinking "am I missing something????" I kept rewinding to make sure I heard it correctly. I heard Davia admitting her faults and telling her mom she was sorry and wanted to work on them. All of a sudden Tammy just starts ranting and raving about how insincere Davia was being!!!!
I feel the rest of the parents and children have a chance. Not so with Tammy and Davia. Tammy is clueless. What child doesn't want love and acceptance at the most basic level - from their family? How can Davia ever feel loved and accepted by anyone if her OWN MOTHER IS REPULSED AT THE THOUGHT OF GIVING HER DAUGHTER A HUG???
My heart goes out to Davia - I hope she is given the opportunity to receive the love she deserves with another family who would appreciate her for the precious child she is. Unfortunately she wont get it from her own.
May 13, 2009, 3:26 pm CDT

How To Be a Better Parent

There are very few people I dislike - I can only think of maybe 1 person. I have never had such strong, negative feelings toward a person as I do for Tammy.
I hope there is follow up with this family by Children's Protective Services after this show is over.
May 13, 2009, 5:36 pm CDT

how could a parent act like that?

i was catching up  on my dr phils on  my dvr when i came to this episode tammy said she was there to get her daughter help! but when it showed the tape of her repeatedly yelling at her duaghter and calling her a bitch it was unbelievable...she doesnt deserve her daughter! If she came to get davia help she had it all wrong she needs MAJOR help. I just had my first kid a daughter she is three months old and as a mother i do not see how you could ever have feelings toward your kids like that and if you did you shouldnt express those kinds of feelings towards them!!!
May 13, 2009, 8:33 pm CDT

That mother needs a wake up call!

I have been watching the Parenting shows. It amazes me how easily parents are able to get off track. I have been a nanny since I was in the 7th grade. I know its very different than being a parent, but you still have the stresses and emotions since you are in the company of the child all day long. After watching the show where Tammy sent the videos in of her yelling at Davia, it made me so angry that she would say the things that she was saying to her daughters face! And for her to think that her daughter is the one that needs the help in this situation. It is absurd to say every thought that you may have about your child. Tammy needs to realize that even though Davia is the daughter of her ex, and perhaps she reminds her of him, and she is at an emotional age she is STILL her daughter, just like the other two. And when you have a thought about your child, it doesn't necessarily need to be repeated. Espcially when its a sensative subject. There are MANY ways to say something. and in the case of Tammy, oh my, it was every way WRONG!! She needs a wake up call, her daughter is going to have absolutely ZERO confidence in the future if she doesn't take a few steps back and a few deep breaths and get a relationship with positivity with her. I watched it and I thought, DUH!!!!!! Hello!!! Wake up Tammy! This is your daughter, why are you talking to her like a stranger that ran into your car! I want to be able to reach through the tv and shake her! Someone needs to shake her and bring her back to earth. Does she despise her daughter because she does remind her of her ex? Her daughter is smart, she is able to bite her tongue, she seems organized and helpful, shes very pretty and she just wants her mother to take notice of that! The age that Davia is at is so fragile. I truly hope that she is able to start taking responsibility for her own actions and quit taking out her own weaknesses out on her daughter. I still can't get over the way she was talking to her. There have been times when I've watched someone else's child and I'm tired and cranky and just want to have MY time and not have to deal with a fussy child...but you can't just give up. You can't give up on yourself or the child. You take a deep breath, grab a piece of chocolate and put a smile on your face and be an adult/parent. When there's a tough moment, write it down, or go for a run, or just take a personal time out to your own private space....but seriously, don't take it out on the child! Oh my. I just can't get over her yelling at her the way she did. How terrible for Davia. Dr. Phil, I hope you can get her to realize what she's doing wrong. And I honestly hope you shake her! Not physically, but emotionally. She needs a wake up call. Good luck!!

May 17, 2009, 10:30 am CDT

05/06 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 2

I just watched this show and am very out raged by the way Tammy treats her daughter.  I grew up with a mother like that.  I thought for the longest time that I was the bad one. It makes me cry to think that this little girl is being made to feel like she is the one with all of the problems and that she is the out cast in her family.   Tammy needs a huge wake up call and quick.  If she doesnt get it soon then I would gladly take her daughter and give her a happy loving home that she deserves.  Every child NO MATTER what deserves being told they are special and loved. 



 I hope you read this.  Please find out what is in YOU (not your daughter) that is making you feel and act this way.  You have already forever changed the way your daughter feels about herself, dont make it worse.  this will effect EVERY relationship she has in her ENTIRE life (mostly the one she will have,or not have, with you).  If you cant or wont see that you have a problem then please give her to a family that will forever love her.m  She deserves at least that much from you.

May 20, 2009, 1:31 am CDT


 I just watched the show and am so upset that a woman who calls herself a mother would ever treat a child this way. There are so many women who can not have children and she had this beautiful young daughter and treats her so badly.  I am so upset and shocked.  This child needs to be taken away from this woman and probably all of her kids.  I am the mother of 2 beautiful children who are my life and I would do anything for them.  For the life of me I will never understand why anyone would treat a child like this.  My children's father was an alcoholic with a real bad addiction which left them without a father  because,  he died when they were pretty young.  I left the marriage when they were only 8 months and 3 because, I wanted to protect them.  They loved him and have always been told he loved them too, but he had a disease.  Where is this child's father and why is he not doing something to protect her from this so called mother.  I just do not get it.  I sure hope that Dr. Phil can help her.  She sure needs someone on her side.  Another thing that I noticed is that when they showed her it did not seem like she really showed any real emotion.  I did not see many tears coming out of her eyes, she kept wiping them like there were but, I sure did not see them.  Did anyone else catch this is was it just me?  Wow this show really got to me as it did to many other people who watched this show.  I sure will keep this child in my prayers and hope that she gets the protection she needs.
May 27, 2009, 5:35 pm CDT

Tammie and Davia

As a formerly abused child my heart broke for Davia.Why does this Mother hate that adorable little girl so much?What did she EVER do to her?Doesn't she know that there are people out there who would give anything to have a beautiful child as she does?Her behavior disgusts me.There is no excuse for it.
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