Message Boards

Topic : 08/28 Love and Lies

Number of Replies: 53
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 06, 2009, 06:11:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard2

(Original Air Date: 03/12/09) Dr. Phil issues a strong warning to abusers: “If you're going to try to sell to me that it's OK to hit a woman, you need to circle the wagons, because I’m coming!” Vicki says her ex-husband, Ernie, was loving and charming when they first met, but he soon went from “Mr. Perfect to Mr. Psycho” and got physical with her twice. Ernie went to jail for beating Vicki, but he says he’s rehabilitated and wants a second chance. Should Vicki take him back or kick him to the curb for good? Then, fans were shocked and outraged when photos of a bruised and battered Rihanna surfaced, and her then-boyfriend, R&B singer Chris was accused of the assault. Dr. Phil reflects on meeting the young man. And, find out why a criminal defense lawyer says Brown should not do jail time. Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

August 28, 2009, 7:41 pm CDT

abusive relationship

Hi I am from Australia and am an avid fan of the Dr Phil show.  Today during my lunch break i went to this site and read the story about abusive relationships and teens.  This bought me back to my experiences.  When i was 17 I had just started university and become extremely close with a guy.  He was kind and gentle and always seemed to want to be there for me.  However three months later he began to get very abusive towards me.  One day when I reclarified a question with him he suddenly turned around and said very viciously 'when i tell you something I expect you to remember it.'  I was just aghast at this and pretty much scouted off.  however this wasn't just the first time.  He began to put me down and isolate me from my sister and my other friends at university.  When I refused to talk to him he would seek out my sister and demand to know where I was on the threat that 'she and I would be sorry' if I didn't speak to him.  however then he would write me long emails and telephone calls expressing how much he cared for me etc and then I would forgive him and the vicious cycle would start over again.


Finally it reached the stage where it got to the point where I began to fear for my personal safety as each time I would let him come back into my life he would become more abusive.  I eventually cut all ties with him with the strong support of my sister and father.  We moved to another state shortly after (not because of him but because I had been accepted and transfered to another university) and I never saw him or heard from him again.  I am now a lawyer and student film maker and thank my lucky stars that I was strong enough to get this guy out of my life before he harmed me physically.  however the emotional abuse that I suffered for two years from this guy is something I will never forget.

August 29, 2009, 9:37 pm CDT

I believe that your X-husband is a Sociopath...look up the symptoms...

I was married to a man just like your x. He has no way to accurately gage what he did to you physically or emotionally because he doesn't have a normal concience. It will never be normal in my opinion. Mine was violent toward the end too but compaired to yours it was nothing...let me sum it up like this. Do you want to end up like Nicole Brown Simpson?

He's not just a liar, a cheater, a violent person, a person who doesn't comprehend what's obvious to normal people...there's a name for all of those symptoms...SOCIOPATH.

Read "Bad Boys, Bad Men"

The reason that you want to get even is because you know that he doesn't get it.

Move on. He will be some other victim's problem some day. There's no cure. I see his charm...believe me...the giftwrap on that box is beautiful I know, but forget it...the box is empty.

Good Luck

Tons of nice men would love your cute home-y ways.
August 31, 2009, 7:37 pm CDT


Well, why I do not believe that any man should ever lay a hand on a woman, it seems to me that Ernie can be rehabilitated although I think his relationship with Vivky is very toxic. I agree with Dr. Phil that they bring out the worst in each other. It's obviously not just Ernie's problem. Vivky is very insecure and needs help as well as Ernie. I was in a very toxic relationship and the physical abuse began after the very first time of I found out the man I was with was unfaithful. I stayed 4 eleven more years on beatings, cheating and lies. When I finally got out of it, it took a long time but eventually my mind started to clear and I started to realize how toxic we were to each other and I could literally feel the stress roll off my back as each day passed without him. It's a beautiful thing when that starts to happen and I hope it will happen for Vivky and Ernie as well.

Now, I say my mood is embarrased because I have a confession to make. Since I was a young girl and started liking boys, there has always been this picture in my mind of what I wanted the man of my dreams to look like and it is ERNIE. When I forst saw his face on the show, I got butterflies in my stomach and I felt this desperation that he was married, an abuser and so far out of reach. Since the show aired in the beginning of the year and has aired again last week, Ernie is all I think about!!! Sounds crazy I know but I haven't been able to find my Ernie yet. I'm 44 and still looking for him. My physical attraction to this man is of the charts and boy I don't like wanting something so badly that I will most likely never had! Well, one never knows. Maybe Ernie will try to move on in his life and somehow we'll cross paths. Doubtful but I girl cn dream, can't she?!!! TeeHee!!! Hey Dr. Phil. can you fix me up with him?!!!! TeeHee!! And Ernie if you're out there listening or reading this, get in touch with me!!! I'd love to talk!!!!

First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next Page | Last Page