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Topic : 02/17 Paralyzed by Fear

Number of Replies: 29
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, February 13, 2009, 02:27:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
No matter how hard we try to protect ourselves, each one of us will experience trauma in our lives. Whether it's divorce, an illness or a violent attack, each one of us is a potential victim?. When bad things happen, how should you react? Shelita says her life was recently turned upside down when three suspects broke into her home and held her, her mother and her 3-year-old daughter at gunpoint. Since the attack, Shelita says she's lost her sense of security, is terrified to be alone in her home, and will go to extremes to avoid it. Will moving out of her home help Shelita heal? Could she be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and not even know it? Then, Danielle says that for the last 30 years she's been haunted by a terrifying childhood encounter. She was 7 years old when a perpetrator known as the East Area Rapist invaded her home and victimized her mother. He's never been caught, and the killer may still be on the loose. Now, Danielle is married and has two daughters, and as they near the age she was when the attack happened, she is reliving her nightmare. Why does Danielle's husband, Art, say her fears are interfering with her parenting? Does he have legitimate concerns? And, see what Danielle recently discovered that terrifies her. Next, meet a man who says he's dedicated to helping police solve this crime. Will he alleviate or elevate Danielle's fears? Has an unexpected trauma left you paralyzed by fear? Learn how to take back control, let go of the fear and move on with your life. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 17, 2009, 4:03 pm CST

Hopeful but misinformed!!!

I was surprised at the show, I felt it was too hopeful, sounding too easy, when that's not always the case. I have recently been diagnosed with complex PTSD. After many years of suffering, misdiagnosis, repeated doctors, repeated counsellors!!!!!!!! Being diagnosed with everything else but. Complex post traumatic stress disorder is when there has been numerous traumas for beginning in my childhood with my family of origin. It can also be caused from ongoing major stressors in your life over prolonged periods. It is good to be hopeful but, not everyone can completely heal & recover after toooooo many years to count. I am a very intelligent, hardworking, everlearning, positive woman, forever reading & learning new things in life. I am now coming off of antidepressants prescribed for panic, anxiety, depression after 7 years, Actually I am feeling better now because I know what the real problem is & getting help for it. I don't think after all this damage I can hope to be completely whole, but I believe I can be the best that I can be to take care of myself & do the things I need to do to live a better quality lifestyle. Thanks for listening. jazzmint
February 17, 2009, 4:08 pm CST

Moving from home

I am very concerned about the family who had the break in and these suspects are in jail but not tried for this crime.  You told the lady that her fears will not change even if she moves and I do agree with you but what I worry about is that these criminals know where they live and because these poor people, have seen their faces, may try to imtimidate them or worse.  I keep remembering a long time ago reading about a little boy who was a witness to a drive-by shooting and the police kept them protected but even then, these "friends" of the guy that this little boy could identify still found a way to murder this little boy and his mother.  So please rethink the moving thing because people will kill a witness over anything....She still would need help on her fears but at least they would now live in an undisclosed place.  They are doctors, so they probably could afford to move somewhere else....This is something so serious and they have their little girl to think about...Surely the husband can understand that part....I will pray that no harm comes to them if they stay in the house and also if they move and that they will be safe....Lisa
February 17, 2009, 4:11 pm CST

Move to a Gated community

You two can both stay in the same area by just moving to a gated community. They have security guards that write down every license plate that enters. The guest must have approval  from residents to enter. They usually have cameras and a closed gate too. You could also set up in every room, easy dial 911 buttons. By just hitting these buttons ,they auto dial 911. Make sure they are  high enough off the ground children can't hit  them at all.   Getting a dog, or a person, to whom you both trust to live with you might help too. Criminals usually have low intelligence and are lazy too.  They are not likely to go through all this security just to rob someone. I think this would be a fair comprimise for the couple, and although it won't  solve everything, I think it would  reduce  her fear greatly. Also, when your in your car, if you ever feel threatened, just press the red button on your electronic door opener, this will set off your alarm or horn. If you don't have one yet , I would install one along with any other car security features you might need.
February 17, 2009, 4:33 pm CST

Pushed by a drunken man , 14 years past

Hello I"m 53 year old man, but 14 years ago April 18, 1996 I was walking  on side walk when I man got off his biycle and said bad words swearing at me, then pushed me, agiast brick siding, in the Emergacy room, crisis worker Carol, after talking too me, said some day I would get PSTD, I had my  first attack of PSTD, eight years later,  I don't want to go into that first one, because it would be too long but anyway, thanks Dr. Phil, for talking about PSTD, men have PSTD too. Todays show made alot of sense, the person who pushed me I forgave in court  , that September of that year, but my PSTD, feeling cannot forgive or forget this drunken stranger who died four years later, yet Alf, as I still call him, still lives within me,  I wish I could forget, but the whole thing, but flash backs still are thier.

February 17, 2009, 4:53 pm CST


Dear Dr. Phil,

  I watched your show today Feb. 17th on PTSD. I have written to you before for help. I turned 58 last month. I have SUFFERED with this horror, fear, anxiety for as long as I can remember. Tried to drink it away for `14yrs. Quit  drinking at 34yrs. old and sought help. Thearapy and psych meds for almost 25yrs. now. A marriage of 26yrs. ended by my husband a year and a half ago. I was sexualy abused as a child. Raped at 18, and raped again in later drinking years. I have a horror, fear, anxiety, depression. I  know my fear has controlled me all my life. To the point of Agoreaphobia for awhile. I can get out...most of them time, but its only in what I call my safe area. It is now affecting my ONLY hope I have hung onto. please help me , PLEASEEEEEE?????????????????????? I'm begging here....really...I have written and begged before. For the first time in my life to feel "free", would be a God sent miricle. I sit here in my home...a safe place to me but, I sit here with a lump in my throat, knot in my stomach, wondering why God has given me life to "live" , and I've never been totally free to live it???? Dr. Phil, I am a good loving person. Please, Please, Please, Please, help me.........PLEASE??????? You, at this late time in my life, is all I have to turn to, except my faith...and its faltering. I have little money, on disability because of my mental and emotional state, but I could get to Texas come hell or high water, if only you and your staff would consider to help me.Thank you for considering. Sincerely, Lessie

February 17, 2009, 5:36 pm CST

02/17 Paralyzed by Fear

Nothing bad has ever happened to me (like this) in my life, thankfully.  My husband and I live in the mountains and try to take all precautions.  We have many guns stratigically placed, have concealed weapons liscenses to carry,  an alarm system, door reinforcement jams and multiple bullmastiff dogs and noisy yappy little dogs.  At least  if all of those fail, there will be no need to blame ourselves, we tried.   We don't live in fear, we just don't want to make things easy for those who wish to do us harm.     Having said that if someone wants to *get you* I suppose they probably could.



So very sorry for all those going through such trauma.   I hope one day you'll finally be at ease and feel safe.

February 17, 2009, 5:39 pm CST

Show didn't offer any help. Why did I waste my time watching?

I was very dissappointed in your show on trauma.  There are many people that have been traumatized and can't afford to go to a shrink and they know there fears are justified anyway.  All you showed is that there are many people out there that are traumatized for years.  That just justifies peoples fears more.  The show would have been better to have people that had recovered from being traumatized and the process that went through to recover.  You offered no help, just acknowlegement.  You can't tell people they shouldn't be afraid.  That's not going to make them not afraid.  How do people take back control?  You never answered the question.  Not even a hint.  If anything this show just made people more afraid.
February 17, 2009, 6:42 pm CST

The brighter side of tragedy...

If anyone can say that, then trust that no one can do it above me.  Read on:  Sixteen

years ago, I endured a trauma that should have killed me.  Fathom this, if you
can--a head-on collision with  logging truck as I was in the process of passing another
car.  It was very foggy and I was late for my eight o'clock cless.  Not only did I
survive and gain back my ability to walk, I started attending Florida State University
four months after I got out of the hospital.  I began FSU Fall Semester of 1993, and
graduated Spring of 1997 with a Bachelor of Science in English, which is a writing

  As for some details of the wreck, which was the end of October of 1992, I was in a coma
for five exact weeks, in the hospital for five months, and I lost twenty-two IQ points at

that time.  I was fortunate to have been in the Gifted Program in high school and having

the consquent IQ.  The wreck was eighteen months after high school graduation.  The most
obvious point of success here was never losing my ability to learn. 

  There are many more drastic side effects from that closed-head injury, but I overcame

all of them.  However, even with a college degree, no one will hire me.  The reason has

nothing to do with the wreck and everything to do with the fact that I've been diagnosed

with four psychiatric disorders.  I live with my mother, who makes a very good living

with her professional job.  The public cannot look at me and tell that anything is

wrong--the left eye that came completely out with the wreck, and has had three

reconstructive plastic surgeries done to it, looks like a lazy eye to all others.   And

still, I have nothing to be depressed about.  To this day, I always see people with

problems minor to mine, yet unable to live relatively independant lives.  This is not

their fault in any way, and I realize the reason for my survival/recovery:  less than ten

hours before I had that wreck, my mother got down completely on her bedroom floor praying

and crying to God for mercy.  I have a younger sister, and mom did not know which one of

us she was praying so hard for.  It turned out to be me.

  Enough of the optimism.  That was over sixteen years ago, and life really does go on. 

A time I call PreWreck was a time when I only had two psychiatric disorders.  Two more

were discovered a few years PostWreck.  What you see now is Bipolar, or so I think.  True

frustration comes when you get angry for NO REASON.  Which mental imbalance to blame?  I

never invest the time to find out, always preferring to make whatever irrationality

public.  I am not scared of people, nor of their opinion, not even the right way to act

when I get bothered in the least bit.  Anyone can set me off, and one of the most

upsetting things about me is my refusal to respect my elders.  Middle-aged and up, they

are going through *so much* pain that younger adults do not have to.  And me?  That

started at nineteen.  How dare they think that they've been through more than I have?  It

may not make sense to you, and it was not how I was raised, but it is still a gut

feeling, and I explain myself to no one.  What do I want in life?  Just to work part time

for minimum wage at the local S & S.  I cannot have anything messing up my Social

Security and SSI.


February 17, 2009, 7:37 pm CST

PTSD - Medically Induced

I'm a 44 year old woman who was diagnosed with PTSD in November of

2006.  The main basis for the PTSD is 22 years of invasive,

frightening medical procedures that eventually resulted in a heart

transplant in 2002.  I suppressed my feelings up until 2005 when I

was subjected to a traumatic medical incident by my transplant

team.  This incident lasted for almost a year.  Since then, I

suddenly become unable to cope with the slightest thing.  I have

had a Psychiatrist and a Licensed Professional Therapist for over

2 years now, but the PTSD symptoms have not improved.  As a

result, I have a fear and so much stress associated with the

facility and people who are only there to help me stay alive.  It

has also slowly isolated me from my friends and family.  The have

pulled away out of a misunderstanding of the disorder and how to

deal with it themselves.  Even my marriage has been threatened by

my PTSD.  I was recently hospitalized for a PTSD consult.  I

worked so hard to get out that I told them whatever they wanted to

hear just to get home.  I consider a hospital, jail and a

patient,an inmate.  I have had medication changes; some for the

better;some for the worse.  I do not like to leave my home and

have found an escape in on-line computer games and food.  It's the

only time I feel safe.  I'm lost and still not sure which way to

go for help.
February 17, 2009, 8:01 pm CST

paralyzed by fear

I can relate in a way to the topic in today's show in a manner not discussed.  I lost my husband two and a half years ago and was left alone with my 16 year old daughter.  I had never been alone.  I always lived with someone, my parents, my friends, my husband, etc...  When he died, I felt exposed and started to do a lot of the things displayed in today's show.  I constantly looked out the windows, I checked the locks repeatedly, I even attempted to learn the pattern of my neighbors' activities, without their knowledge so that I would always know who to turn to in case I needed help.  It's better now because I have my adult daughter and her family living with me.  The guests in today's show are very courageous.  I wish them the best.

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