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Topic : 04/10 Growing Up Too Fast?

Number of Replies: 293
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Created on : Thursday, February 12, 2009, 03:17:29 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/16/09) If you are a parent of a little girl, “tween,” or teenager, you’re going to relate to this show! Dr. Phil talks with parents who say raising a teen daughter is difficult in an oversexed, celebrity-obsessed, cosmetic surgery-seeking society. Char and Robb are concerned about their 14-year-old daughter, Demi, because they say she dresses too sexy for her age. She likes to wear thong underwear, tight jeans and high heels. They admit they’ve even used the word slut to describe how she looks. Demi says she doesn’t care what names people call her –- she’s “Demi-licious!” Are Char and Robb truly putting their foot down? Dr. Phil has some hard questions for these parents. And, what does Demi’s little sister have to do with the role Demi has chosen? Plus, meet the author of The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 16, 2009, 1:00 pm CST

growing up 2 fast

The mother is worried about her daughter, but look how the mother is dressed is on tv.She has a short skirt on and black boots.  Practice what you preach.
February 16, 2009, 1:03 pm CST

Growing Up Way Too Fast

The parents of this 14 year old are spentaholics! I can't believe how many material possessions that girl has. Take the television out of her bedroom and turn off the cable in the whole house. What a waste of money!!! I can't believe they let the word bitch be used in their house. That needs to stop!! That word is not allowed in my house. I go to the school and check on me kids. Yes, they are mad and embarrassed but that is my job as their parent to embarrass them. Where does that little get the money for makeup? That is ridiculous for someone that age to be wearing makeup. Come on people step up and be parents and stop being an ATM machine.
February 16, 2009, 1:04 pm CST

02/16 Growing Up Too Fast?

 I think the parents well at least the mother is trying to be her daughters friend instead of being the parent. I think she wants her daughter to think her mom is cool. And the father well he doesnt look like he has much or little to say in their relationship.Coming from a father of 3 teenage girls they have to have a strong fondation, discipline, and 24/7 guidance.Sometimes it gets tough, but it will be alot tougher when they do go out on their own.
February 16, 2009, 1:04 pm CST

Growing Up Too Fast

What's up with Demi's mom? This woman is sooo the problem here. I'm glad that she admitted that she's the one that buy's Demi's clothes, so why is she suprised that she looks like a slut?  Why doesn't she act as a parent instead of an empty minded person? I'm soo tired of parents going on tv & claiming they're upset or confused about their minor child's behavior. I'm ashamed for them as "parents".
February 16, 2009, 1:04 pm CST

What a Joke

Dr. Phil, I can't believe you wasted a whole hour talking about this lovely 14 year old girl named Demi.

I am a little confused as to why this girls parents are so concerned, and would bring her on live T.V and embarrass her.

She is a confident person, and doesn't care what people think about her. She has high self-esteem, and I believe dressing the way she does makes her feel more confident.

She is not having sex, not doing drugs, not sneaking out of  the house, I do NOT see what the big deal is. She is 14 years old, of course she is going to be concerned about fashion, what else is a 14 year old going to be thinking about.

What do her parents want her to wear a turtle neck all year round.


A very disappointing show.



February 16, 2009, 1:06 pm CST

Parents need help!

As I sat watching this show I was overcome with the realization that these parents were hurting as much as their daughters! They need intervention and quick.  It is obvious to me that they neither one of them know how to show love, attention or respect. If they can't show that to each other, how can they teach their children? Dr. Phil,  they need help......Do something, quick!!!!!

February 16, 2009, 1:07 pm CST

What is with the children's clothing industry?

I am a 58 year old raising 2 granddaughters, age 6 and 8.  I am disgusted by some of the clothing that I see in our major department stores for girls this age.  I realize I am older than most parents buying for their daughters, but do they really want 6 and 8 year old girls looking sexy?  It is difficult to find clothes that look like children.  Obviously, someone is buying this type of clothing or they would not continue to have it in the stores.  I understand there is even a term, "prostitots", for little girls that dress like prostitutes.  Why is this clothing on the market and why do people buy it?  Do they think it is cool for their little girls to look like sluts?  There is even nail polish, cologne,  and make-up geared toward little girls.  Someone please tell me why??  There is Hannah Montana clothing and High School Musical items in 4-6X sizes.  Hello! Are those characters not teenagers?  It's no wonder by the age of 12 or 14 that they are out of control if it starts this young!  Can anyone tell me why there should be bikini style panties for 6 year olds?  
I am constantly having to tell my girls, "No!, that outfit is not appropriate for you.!"  They want the slinky, sparkly things, because they are there and because their classmates wear them.  It is hard to explain to them and even though I have no problem saying no, I blame the clothing industry for even making such things available.  Am I just old??  Does this bother anyone else?  Thanks! Trish
February 16, 2009, 1:09 pm CST

What a poor show title choice...

This topic is very near and dear to my heart  - - but I was very disappointed in your choice of title.
These girls are not "growing up too fast".
They are engaging in inappropriate dress and actions REGARDLESS OF AGE.


What age IS it ok to dress provocatively, and to have your identity wrapped up in only things sexual?
Would we be ok with it at 16?  18?  25?  40?  The truth is, there is no age at which this is  healthy behavior.  And engaging in this kind of thing is in no way a sign of maturity or "growing up".


The problem has nothing to do with "growing up" - and entitling the show as such simply reinforces the idea in young girl's minds that this kind of dress and behavior is somehow a sign of maturity.  I agree with the message you were hoping to send.  But, I am afraid that your title subtlely sent a different message entirely.

February 16, 2009, 1:17 pm CST

tot clothing options?

For any mom that has a girl under the age of 8...the message is very clear that clothing is not just adverstised to teens and tweens with seductive tones.  I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old...I can't afford to shop boutiques...I shop the standard market place for a middle class income.  I am shocked at what I have to pass by every time a new season of clothing needs to be purchased.  I want my girls to be little girls for as long as I can keep them in that mode.  My mother-in-law purchased a shirt for my tot that actually was cut and sewn to mimic cleavage!  A 4 year old with a shirt that puffed out !  "Sexy" is term used to describe clothes designed for 6 year olds.  No names mentioned, but a couple of twins are cashing in on their names designing "hootchy" tot clothes! 

It takes real effort to find appropriate clothes for girls, but I DO!  I will beat the bushes to find outfits that don't advertise my children to local perverts.  I want my girls to grasp the value of modesty and thongs are in the near future for my daughters!  As long as I am still acting in a guiding role as "mother"...the lesson of self-respect will be a priority.  I will be understanding of teen fashion trends and in time the girls will come to have control of the wardrobe, but as long as they are still under the age of 18...the wardrobe and statement it makes will be a partnership.  I will retain the "veto" vote, but starting off on the right foot means starting now.  By 14 the door may be closed on teaching your daughter to present the "right" image.

Let's not forget that many parents have the same problem with dressing age appropriatly...I recently left a gym class with my 2 year old because one of the mothers was wearing such a trashy outfit that I had to walk away.  I see more exposed flesh on new moms than most see on the standard thug videos.

I guess I am in a small camp these days...involved and responsible parents.

February 16, 2009, 1:20 pm CST

girls growing up too fast

I'm the same age as Demi. And I know what it's like to want attention. Middle and High school girls want everyone to notice what they're wearing, and how they act, because it'll make themselves feel good. A lot of girls want to have the spotlight, it's a normal thing to want. The thing is, when you act like someone you're not, it destroys your reputation. And that's a big thing for most girls at this age. A lot of girls want a good reputation, and clearly, this girl doesn't care what people think. Some of her clothes are okay to wear, but when it comes to showing skin, like clevage, then it's something for the guys to look at. All guys want at this age is a girl to be all over. Some don't even care about the girl's personality. But also, some guys like girls' personalities the most. Some boys like girls for who they are, and if Demi realized that being herself is what matters the most, then she would get more compliments, which would boost up her self esteem. Being yourself counts, and changing yourself to try to fit in isn't right. Like, ditching your true friends that like you for who you are, for people that aren't even your friends, will rip you in half in the end. The reason for that is because when the not-true friends stab you in the back and get rid of you, you won't have anybody.  You always need to have your true friends, to keep you strong and have your back on anything. Nobody is perfect, and i know that for a fact. I always thought as a younger girl that those movie stars were all that and the most perfect people in the world. But the thing is, nobody is perfect, at all. Everyone has ups and downs, and everyone has a bad hair day. You can't just say you want to be "cool" to try to fit in. Being yourself will get people to notice you. And you'll be a lot happier with your life than you were when you were being somebody you're not. Don't do something that you know isn't the right thing to do.

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