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Topic : 11/20 Spouses at War

Number of Replies: 76
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Created on : Friday, November 14, 2008, 03:18:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
From the outside they appear to be a perfect couple – successful, affluent and respected in the community. But behind closed doors, Jake and Donna’s knock-down, drag-out fights are driving them to the brink of divorce. Donna says that Jake’s abusive temper ranges from terrible verbal insults, to threatening to push her over a second-story railing, to waving a gun around! Though his apologies come with elaborate gifts, Donna says she just wants the abuse to end. Meanwhile, Jake says Donna is controlling, in the marriage for the money and cold to their adopted 7-year-old daughters.  What does the rest of the family think? You may be surprised by what Jake’s stepdaughter has to say. See how this couple’s constant power struggle is crippling their 20-year marriage. Can they cease their battle for control and rebuild their union,or will they both walk away losers? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 22, 2008, 7:54 am CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: leavinghell

Is it possible that some people really can't love completely due to their own issues? In other words, if he found someone more secure would he be at some level threatened by that as well? Or would he just end up "caring" for her very much, but never reach the depth of what we consider "true love" (i.e. being accepted and accepting his partner as a "whole unique beautiful woman"--flaws included?) Would emotional distance in the relationship make it less volitile and more sustainable, or would that cause the partners to seek fullfillment outside of the marriage? I suppose lots of people distance themselves to protect themselves. Many of these people  would probably tend to fill their days with work, hobbies, or affairs....

If this is the case, other than convenience, comfort and familiarity what is the point of marriage?

Exactly...there would be no point...

I would wish to be in a marriage with my best friend...and best friends are compassionate and empathetic to one another...there is no protection of the self...really, what is there TO protect? can't receive love if you are not open to receiving love...if self protection is in place that shuts the door partially on being open...

November 22, 2008, 11:03 am CST

My earlier question?

Quote From: shmigelz

Shows like this make my blood boil. I CHOOSE work 110 hours/week. I have too much self pride...

So Donna has been divorced 2 times before, and now as she is JOBLESS the 3rd marriage around, why is GODS ***** name does he pay for 'domestic support?" What in the hell does this Donna do? Dude kick her out now, get divorced, shes got nothing to offer, does nothing, that will wake her up quick. Its ok she will move back into her parents home....

Wow shes PATHETIC! yes you DONNA!
I noticed that you did not answer a question that asked of you in an earlier post. I'm really very curious as to what your answer would be.
November 23, 2008, 6:46 am CST

Jake, Take The Children and RUN

Donna will continue to make the lives of you and your children miserable and you are the only hope your children have of getting away from it.


For her to say that she is unable to bond with or love your children because of what happened to her in her past is inexcusable.  According to Donna, everything is somebody else's fault but she her inability to look at her mean-spirited acts just might be the reason things from 20 years ago did happen to her and that is NOT your fault.


We all have hurts and things to deal with from our past but things that happened 20 years ago in another life are from 20 years ago in another life!


Please Please Please take your children and get away from her.  Give her the house and hopefully she'll have to work for a living.  She won't be catered to out in the real world the way she is with you taking care of her and allowing her to get away with so much.  Let her issues be her issues and you just focus on raising healthy and happy children ALONE!

November 23, 2008, 9:30 pm CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: kittty56

 Hi effy... You are very lucky. I also had a good childhood, never wanted for anything. I just felt that there was some type of turmoil going on. They were both very loving to me and my brother but I could feel like something was going on with them, even though they never expressed it in front of us. I shouldn't say never, sometimes they did.
Hi Kittty,
I appreciate my luck daily as I read some of the horror stories on this site. Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but I unsubscribe from topics as they slow down. I just discovered how to see all the messages that I post and noticed yours. I had no idea I had been that talkative, but considering my Irish DNA  I shouldn't be surprised. Have yourself a lovely day.
November 23, 2008, 9:45 pm CST

Get Tough Dr. Phil!

I was so beside myself on this one I couldn't even finish the show.  EVERY time Dr. Phil tried to nail down "her" issues she played the victim card and I am SO tired of it!!!  When I was young I was molested...I think...think because I was a teenager...maybe raped...I don't know.  It definitely molded who I am today.  A strong, protective, rational, mom.  I have a thriving 2nd year college student.  I am single...would LOVE to be in a marital relationship, to care for, love, admire and partner with my man.  Unfortunately, women like this one seem to be what men want, I don't get it?!?!  NOTHING in my past ever stopped me from being a "mom", taking care of my responsibilities and obligations, or LOVING my family.  What kind of woman says "I" was protecting "my" heart...what???  I think Dr. Laura needs to get a hold of this woman!  Get over yourself and your  irresponsible spending AND your stupid "dumbing down of American" tv shows and start being a decent, loving, mother and wife!!!!!!!!!!
November 27, 2008, 11:34 am CST

Lookin in a mirror

oh my gosh....I'm lookin in a mirror watching this show.   I want to end this craziness.    I don't have any tools, I'm exhausted, the court system is involved and a 12 year daughter is in the middle. 
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