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Topic : 06/04 Grandmother vs. Mother Custody Battle

Number of Replies: 476
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 31, 2008, 04:11:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/04/08) Type your discussion here.How do you determine if someone is fit to be a parent? Should someone who is dependent on others for monetary help have the right to raise a child? Should someone the courts rule unfit as a parent ever be allowed to regain custody? What should you do if your parenting skills are called into question by a family member? Dr. Phil's guests are feuding mother and daughter, Barbara and Nicole, who have been battling for six years over the custody of Nicole’s son, Ethan. Barbara says she needed to take full custody of her grandson because Nicole was and is still not fit to be his mother. Barbara says she provided all the essential items when Ethan was first born, and when he needed surgery, she offered to cover the child under her health insurance. Nicole says she signed what she believed to be a temporary custody agreement to provide for her child's well-being, but says she was tricked into signing her rights away as a mother. Did Barbara have ulterior motives? Hear what Nicole's lifelong friend thinks. Then, Barbara claims her daughter broke the law to get her son back. Barbara currently has custody of the boy and claims that Nicole is a pathological liar, an inattentive parent and was living in deplorable conditions. Find out what the court documents show and what Nicole's former landlord has to say. When Dr. Phil proposes a plan for moving forward, which woman hesitates to participate? And, Nicole hasn't seen her son in more than four months. Will Barbara agree to let mother and son spend time together? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 1, 2008, 4:38 am CDT

What Is Wrong With People Today?

Don't you 2 realize all that you are doing with your constant fighting is hurting the child?! Grow up!!  Barbara, what makes you feel you'd do a better job of raising your grandson, and why would you want to take on that responsibility? PLEASE PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILD, STOP YOUR FIGHTING!!


Where is the child's father during this time. Is he providing child support to Nicole? Are he and your daughter married or divorced?


Barbara & Nicole, obviously with the little snippet that was written I don't know anything about either of you .However, I will pray for both of you, as well as for Ethan.


Good Luck To You Both,


Karleen  - from Ohio

November 1, 2008, 1:59 pm CDT

DoctorPhil Show.

Battle Custody Doctor Grand-Mother-Mother Phil Verse. That is something that I never heard that. See you-

Tuesday November 04, (Day Election. Donot for get to vote Doctor Phil/Robin.) Siincerley Russell  Vlaand-



November 1, 2008, 4:07 pm CDT

It's happening more and more

From birth, my grandson was being raised in an environment that included the use of meth, cocaine, and alcohol, was in constant turmoil due to my son and his girlfriend fighting all the time, was constantly changed due to very frequent moves, and provided no structure at all for him. The mother was doing drugs while pregnant and engaged in promiscuous unprotected sex with multiple partners on a regular basis. Finally, when my grandson was 4, I was able to help my son get full legal and physical custody. Clearly, this was the lesser of 2 evils as my son is a piece of work himself, but at least my husband and I were able to convince my son to let my grandson live with us so that he could attend a decent school for kindergartenand have regular meals, clothes that fit, and stability.

The boy's mother made the choice to have very limited and sporatic contact with him for 5 years. Recently, she moved to another state without even discussing trying to get back custody of him. I recently got 3rd party custody after a long petty argument with her, and my son has recently moved out of our home, leaving his son with us. This is not a "nomal" child - he is developmentally delayed, he ADHD, bipolar disorder, writing and math learning disabilities, and suffers from reactive attachment disorder. Things have gradually improved over time, but it's been slow going and every day is a challenge.

And, finally, just on our neighborhood street, counting us, there are 3 households in a row with grandparents raising grandchildren. I'm 60 years old and retired, and this is certainly not what I expected for retirement, but making sure my grandson remains in a stable environment and is getting all the help he needs is now paramount in my life. Some battles are justified and some are not. I happen to think I'm doing the best thing for the child, not for myself.


November 1, 2008, 6:34 pm CDT

father and son in a similar situation

we re facing a situation similar to that family. only difference is   is that  the  dad of the little girl is into drugs and the mother (an alcoholic) wanted to sign her away.   so we re filing for adoption.....someone has to speak and act for the  childrens well being!! and we re doing just  that.............this would be  a story to put on  dr. phil in itself...
November 1, 2008, 6:51 pm CDT

Grandmother vs Mother

i know how this mother feels!! this happen to me! i was called a lair etc! they did EVERYTHING to discredit me.  from the little i read i would say that Barbara has a controlling problem how can Nicloe fight that. the more she fights the worse it is for the child! and Barbara hold all the cards!! i am on the mother's side at this point til i see the show.
November 1, 2008, 8:26 pm CDT

not that uncommon

my parents did the same and they manipulated everyone but after 7 yrs the courts saw through it and i got my daughter back ( who now has a protection order on my father for stalking her but they adopted my son who they will not let me or her see him so no news to me when it comes to grandparents stealing custody
November 1, 2008, 9:04 pm CDT


To barbra, why from the time of birth were you thinking you could take over your daughters sons life, is it just because you didnt have a son of your own and this is one way to have a son and you could doa better job than what you think your daughter could'nt do and how do you think she didnt have a clean place for her son, I would like to see pictures of your Daughters place to see if she does have a bad place for her son to live at if its as poor as you say it is, give the son back to the mother and see if she can provide for him or not, have someone check on her at certain times of the day so the mother can have him back .
November 2, 2008, 5:50 am CST

I can relate

Well I can relate to this one because I have a niece who has two kids but I believe she and her current husband are unfit parents because of their drug addiction.  But my older brother and his wife have tried to get custody of the children but cannot get the courts to help them, she is their niece too the daughter of another brother.  The conditions these kids live in are terrible but case workers will not let us take them and try to give them a better life.  They don’t eat regularly, don’t get to school every day and do not get proper hygiene or medical care but for some reason our legal system thinks their living conditions are good enough.  My older brother is a teacher and his wife is the principle of a school and they raised two daughters who grew up to be responsible adults and are willing to take on this responsibility and give these kids a chance at a better life but can’t do it.  It is very frustrating.

I know it would be sad for them to be separated from their parents but I feel it would be better in the long run.  I don’t understand why a supposedly trained professional, such as a government case worker, can’t see that two school teachers would give these kids a better shot at a good life that two drug addicts.  Am I not understanding something here?

November 2, 2008, 8:27 am CST

Mother VS grandparents...

 I don't know both sides of the story, but the main point is what the child is

mentally & phycally going thru.  Unfortuneally my child is still haveing to continue this battle, and no one is looking at "her."  My biological parents sued me an my ex husband for custoday of our daughter. Since 2005 the battle still rages on. The courts threw the grandparents case out because there was no grounds to prosocute me on. I am not/ have never been a drug/ acohlic/ or abuseive mom. They took me to court upon the grounds that they hated my husband because I married a man much older then me and tried to justify to the judge when I allowed them to babysit for me that, - that was enough cause to say they raised her, while being a single mom for over a year, working 3 jobs, living in a small apt with my daughter, and getting no child support from her father.

The situation got so bad that my biological father even threaten and loaded a shotgun, got in his vehicle to make atempts to kill my husband. If you ask him to this day today and now he will tell you if he gets the chance he will try/ or kill him if given the oppertunity. They put my child thru hell and still are. They will not leave us alone and it is just continues to be paperwork after paperwork.

 My child never deserved any of this. 

The court battle continued as it took time to even get before the jude and finding a great laywer who know what he was doing before getting something done.  I am still getting harrased from them, and have made it clear to them that I want them in NO part of my childs life or mine for as long as they are around. When my child is 18 she can make her on decisions until then they will have no part of her life as long as I am able to keep her safe.

  I would love to have them on Dr. Phil although I don't think that in all the great jobs I have seen him accomplich he could make peace or help the situation finnally end.  I just want the best for my daughter and it is not to put her thru emotional & physcial stress her entire childhood. Moveing out of state would be a start to completely give her a new life. But at this point that is not a option right now....  Thanks to the birth father..... but that is another story....

 Hope I can help some one out there make better decions with there relationship between their children and their relitives....... YOUR CHILDREN ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.... Thanks for reading



November 2, 2008, 8:36 pm CST

Don't give up mom!!

I am a 25 year old single mom in the exact same situation. I asked my mom to watch my daughter for a few months and she frauded the courts and stole custody from me. Since birth my mom has wanted my daughter. I was naieve and trusted my mom, and this is what she did. Grandparents should not have any rights to the child with out full investigations from social services. Social Services won't even get involved because there is no abuse. And I have no grounds to stand on, no money for a big time lawyer like my mom has and I'm completely helpless. How is this right or legal?? there should be a law against this. She has legally kidnapped my daughter and it's the worst feeling in life, worse then loosing a child for good, she's alive, healthy, and just out of my reach. I have had to learn to hate my own mom for doing this, she has destroyed our family, my life and most important my daughters life. She is the only one truely suffering.
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