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Topic : 06/04 Grandmother vs. Mother Custody Battle

Number of Replies: 476
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 31, 2008, 04:11:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/04/08) Type your discussion here.How do you determine if someone is fit to be a parent? Should someone who is dependent on others for monetary help have the right to raise a child? Should someone the courts rule unfit as a parent ever be allowed to regain custody? What should you do if your parenting skills are called into question by a family member? Dr. Phil's guests are feuding mother and daughter, Barbara and Nicole, who have been battling for six years over the custody of Nicole’s son, Ethan. Barbara says she needed to take full custody of her grandson because Nicole was and is still not fit to be his mother. Barbara says she provided all the essential items when Ethan was first born, and when he needed surgery, she offered to cover the child under her health insurance. Nicole says she signed what she believed to be a temporary custody agreement to provide for her child's well-being, but says she was tricked into signing her rights away as a mother. Did Barbara have ulterior motives? Hear what Nicole's lifelong friend thinks. Then, Barbara claims her daughter broke the law to get her son back. Barbara currently has custody of the boy and claims that Nicole is a pathological liar, an inattentive parent and was living in deplorable conditions. Find out what the court documents show and what Nicole's former landlord has to say. When Dr. Phil proposes a plan for moving forward, which woman hesitates to participate? And, Nicole hasn't seen her son in more than four months. Will Barbara agree to let mother and son spend time together? Join the discussion.

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November 4, 2008, 6:42 am CST

Walk away from your children?

Quote From: j2james

Dr. Phil said sometimes, someone just has to be the hero.

Does this mean that a grandmother should back off and never see there grandchildren again?

Does that make the grandmother a hero to the grandchildren?

The only time I see my two grandchildren is when there father gets his visit.

His EX doesn't let him see the children that often.  He has court ordered visitation, but

that means nothing to his EX.  The children get to upset going back to court .  So I guess my son is the hero for not puting the children through another court battle, Right?


Advice for All men.

If you get a divorce, just walk away.  If you don't you will only hurt your children.

Pay your support, health and dental care, if the children ever calls in need of something, get what they need.  Your EX will pick it up and take it to the children for you.


If you agree to NO children before you marry.  Go to the doctor ASAP, before you have sex with the woman the first time.  She just wants to control the time SHE wants children. 

Don't be a fool, the law and courts are on the side of the Women. 

Are you kidding? You must be a very bitter person to tell all men who are going through a divorce to walk away from their children. My brother got a divorce from his wife who was and is an unfit mother. Yes, it took a while for him to get custody of the children, because the state of Texas does seem to lean on the mother's side, but he prevailed and eventually won custody. He refused to give up and allow "HIS" children to be raised by a woman who only wanted to party and had gotten into drugs. Oh, I almost forgot, she also threw their two little girls out of the house once with nowhere for them to go and no way to call their father. They were only about 11 and 8 at the time sitting on the street corner with little suitcases. So give up? I don't think so! And BTW, my husband got custody of his 3 teenage children when his wife left him. He wasn't about to allow her to take his children away. To be honest, she really only wanted custody of the one girl and didn't want the boys. My husband refused to allow that to happen to his children and they also never knew that their mother didn't want the boys. A Hero? My husband is a hero! Not once has he ever spoken a bad word against his ex in front of the children, even now that they are grown. He doesn't believe in that. The only thing that is really important here is to do what is best for the children. As we all know, they didn't ask to be brought into this world.
November 4, 2008, 6:43 am CST

Utterly disgusted

I cannot believe that you (as a grandmother) have taken your own childs' child! She doesnt have to PROVE anything to YOU. She is his parent. YOU taking her child is NOT helping him. It is hurting him in the long run. It is my opinion you are doing this because you are an OLD, BITTER person and need to have SOMETHING going on in your life so you dont die of boredom in your retirement years. Why dont you go adopt a child that doesnt have a parent that wants them. Prove to the world you arent the failure youre proving yourself to be. I am completely disgusted by your actions and your demeanor. You are her parent. You are SUPPOSED to help her, to guide her. You are not supposed to steal her children.
November 4, 2008, 6:49 am CST

c'est domage

The things that Barbara said about her daughter are disgraceful. I don't care if they are all true, you don't talk about your children that way. What makes Barbara think she can raise this child any better then she raised her daughter? If her daughter is so horrible and unfit she definitely had a hand in it. Even if  Nicole is not a fit parent her mother is doing the little boy no favours by cutting his mother out of his life. No one can replace your Mommy, no matter how loving they are. Her goal should be to try and make her daughter a good mother, and keep the relationship between all of them open, loving and supportive. I would cheerfully kill for my mother, so I cannot even fathom this relationship.
November 4, 2008, 6:51 am CST

I know of a couple......................

Quote From: monachin54

I get SO ANGRY when I hear people saying that grandmothers WANT to raise the children!  Most of us would love to spend our time and money on ourselves, after already raising our families!  We would like to be like our friends, relaxing in front of the TV set or taking a vacation.  Instead, we mortgage our homes for attorney fees to protect the children, then spend our 'golden years" running to school events, dealing with toddlers and sassy teens and trying the best we can to make up for missing parents. 



  I happen to know of a couple that had four daughters and are now raising all of their children in their so called "Golden years". They had raised their daughters who went off and married, but not for long. Then all of them got into drugs, several have ended up in prison and jail many times and the grandparents have taken on 11 grandchildren. Wow, what a way to retire!

  But, I do have to say that the way they brought up their daughters this was probably inevitable. All 4 girls are the same ages as me and my own sisters and we used to be friends. The girls were wild in high school and tried a lot of drugs even then. Needless to say, we didn't stay friends with them as we started to grow up. Their parents never once disciplined their daughters and spoiled them rotten. Their girls could do no wrong. The didn't set any boundaries, curfews, punishments, etc.. As I said, this was inevitable.

  I'm not saying that this is what every parent has done by any means. I'm just pointing out what can happen when your children are raised with no rules.

November 4, 2008, 7:14 am CST

GrandMother Being a Child

I think this grandmother is being childish and irresponsible herself she's not giving her daughter a chance i think she has more money and she's using that as a means to keep her grandson. seems she doesn't want her grandson to raise but to keep him away from his mother. GrandMother needs to GROWUP!!!!!!!  Leave her daughter alone and let her raise her own son. If  the child needs Medical attention and the daughter can't afford it then step in and help as a grandmother!! Not an overbearing parent wanting to Control her daughter!!!!!!!r
November 4, 2008, 7:25 am CST


I honestly can not believe some people. Yes it is a parents responsability to care for their own children. That is a PARENTS RESPONSABILITY not a grandparents. I was watching the show and when Dr. Phil asked the ladies in the audience if they agreed or disagreed with certain concepts I was furious that the one woman said that she agreed if a child was taken away by the courts thats it you don't have anymore chances. I personally have had my son taken away from his father and I because his father was abusive and beat my son. His father and I had split and were filing for a divorce and were sharing visitation. My son would go to his fathers every other weekend and one weekend I got a call from him saying my son was lathargic and was bleeding from every hole in his body. Was that my fault? NO!!!! My son was taken into custody by children services and I was cut from seeing my own child but 1 time for an hour every week. Come to find out they convicted my son's father for attempted murder. So if it was my ex husbands fault for almost killing my son and my child was taken from both of us...... why should I get punished by losing my child for something his father did??? That pisses me off that people think that because 1 parent is unfit so is the other. I am currently a single mother with 2 children and I work and own a house and a new car. So am I an unfit parent because of what my ex husband did? It looks like my son is happier then ever now being with his mother. FYI my son NEVER sees his father. I have a restraining order against him. 
November 4, 2008, 7:27 am CST

Mother vs Grandmother

I am the mother of 3 children and 7 grandchildren and I must tell you, I am surprised at this grandmother. I don't know if this is her only child and grandchild but she needs to step back and let this woman take care of her child. I am sure we have all made mistakes as parents, I know I raised my children to the best of my ability and I'm sure some of what I taught has rubbed off.

  It seem you are not giving your daughter the credit she deserves. My heart was crying for her little boy when they were reunited. Step back grandma and get a life of your own, get a pet, or adopt a child if you have all that love and no one to give it to because you sure aren't giving it to your daughter.

November 4, 2008, 7:28 am CST

11/04 Grandmother vs. Mother Custody Battle

my boyfriend and i are in the same situation and believe me it is a hard one! having the parents of your boyfriend having custody of my child is just wrong! his parents claim that they do everything for my daughter and that is totally a lie! we might not be totally 100%  financially stable but we do buy her food and feed her we take care of her when she gets up in the middle of the night i get up with her! everything my child knows we have taught her and for his parents to jump in and just say hey no we do that is just heartbreaking! my child is the smartest 18 month old i know and her doctors always tell us how good we have done with her! i love my child with all my heart and i'm not an unfit parent! i will fight hell and high waters for my child! children belong with parents! and to nicole don't give up!!!! fight for whats yours that little boy loves you and don't let your mom scare you the judge has the final say so prove yourself fit and get your son back! god bless you i feel your pain!
November 4, 2008, 7:38 am CST

Grandmom means grandmom

Being a grandmom doesn't give you the right to raise anothers child. Moms are important. Her mom(Barbara) seems very cold toward her daughter and I would  be surprised if she finally takes the child and adopts the boy and completely cuts Nicole out. She is a control freak.
November 4, 2008, 7:40 am CST

kinda the same...

My mother took my son away from me 5 years ago!! and has him call her mom he doesn't even know i am his mother. i have 2 daughters now and married  and he only knows that he has sisters but they just don't live with him.  i want to tell him that i am his mother and i have wanted him sense day one but i don't want it to traumatize him. i was still a child when i had him but my mother never gave me a chance to be his mother, now i am 22 and own my home and pay my bills were they are in 2 home forclosures and own nothing. i dont think i will ever forgive my mother to be honest i dont even want to call her mom,..... i just think my son should know im his  mother and love him as much as i love his siters and i want to raise him as i wanted when he was born. I think he should know but unsure weather i should take it upon myself to tell him and the right way to.... I need help....
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