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Topic : 12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"

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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:43:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

(Original Air Date: 10/03/08) It’s being called the ultimate form of child abuse -- brainwashing your children against an ex-spouse to win custody. Could you be harming your child emotionally and not even know it? First up, Ken is a successful surgeon who says he’s the victim of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). He says he hasn’t seen his 14-year-old son since last October and claims his ex-wife destroyed what was once a loving father-son relationship. Mel Feit, director of the National Center for Men, says Ken’s situation is a classic case of kids being turned against their father, but family law attorney Liz Kates says PAS is a phony tactic used by some men to get out of paying child support. What does Dr. Phil think? Then, Karen lost custody of her children after she was accused of parental alienation syndrome by her ex-husband. Karen maintains her innocence, so why were her parental rights terminated when her daughters accused her ex of sexual abuse? Plus, 19-year-old Demi joins the show via Web cam and says her father verbally abused her mother during their divorce. Now, she fears that her 15-year-old sister is caught in the middle. Find out what you can do if you’re caught between sparring parents. And, meet a father so desperate to see his young children, he kidnapped them from his ex-wife and went on the lam for two years. Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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January 8, 2009, 7:31 am CST

my kids are suffering from PAS.

My ex-husband and I split up about 5 years ago and since then I have done everything pooable to maintain a relationship with my kids. They are 13 and 7 years old. Their father has custody of both kids and maintains total control over when I see them and when I can talk to them. Just recently he had my 13 year old get on the phone with me and tell me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He had told my son to call and leave me a message to just leave them alone or he was going to disown me. He constantly talks bad about me and has my 7 year old convinced I am this awlful mother. There is so much more to this story but I definetely believe my kids are suffering from parental alienation syndrome.

 
January 24, 2009, 4:00 pm CST

12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"

 I'd like to say after reading some of these posts that Dad's don't always get the raw deal.  I am a single mother of three children ages 9, 4 and 1. My youngest and oldest are boys and the middle is my daughter. I have been in and out of the family court system for three years. The last of my visits was a full blown custody trial that lasted two days. In the county I live in I have found that if nothing else the court system has more of a tendancy to have custody orders look fairly equal on paper no matter the costs and often with very little rhyme or reason. I am in a very difficult situation and this would be the very first time I am speaking or writing on a message board that would be available to the public. I have stopped looking for anwers because it has a tendancy to  make me only feel even more helpess when I don't get any. But today I will share my story. I was in an extremely psychologically abusive relationship for much too long. I have three beautiful children and that was the only good thing I can say I walked away with. Everything else tends to be a blur and there are so many things I don't like to recall. When I say pyschologically abusive I am talking about to the point of my ex hiding things in the house, throwing my sentimental things in the garbage, stealing grocery money, accusing me of stealing household items, and the never ending accusations of being unfaithful to the point of emotionally torturing me through my pregnancies implying that the children were not his. My children suffer this same fate and I will get to that. I knew all this time that what he was doing to me was damaging, but I thought being a woman of some intelligence that I could not possibly be abused. Years later and through therapy I have learned that it indeed was abusive and more damaging to me than I ever realized until I was away from him. We were never married. We lived together not until our first child was 5 months old. It was then that things got out of control. He became what I call obsessed with my son and obsessed with the relationship that my son would form with his own mother, my son's grandmother. He would methodically sit in front of my son before my son could speak and repeat the grandparent's names over and over again for sometimes a half hour at a time. I was so thrilled to have a child. I couldn't wait for him to be born, but at the same time I thought that it was only the right thing to do to make sure that he had a mother and father in the same home and he would be raised with both of us there together and at the time I guess I figured that would have to be at any cost to my emotional well being. Through the years this PAS as it is being labeled sprialed out of my control. All of the sudden I didn't feel like I was getting to be a mommy. Instead I felt like I had to take a back seat to everything decision being made, and I was torn from the very bond I couldn't wait to have with him. My ex spent a great deal of time making sure that I had very little to no time alone with my son. I couldn't take him to the grocery store by myself. I couldn't take him to family functions and when I dared to I had hell to pay when I got home. My son witnessed so much trauma in our household while his father lived here that he never did see anything functional until now. Through the years that passed I got to take care of his needs, and do his laundry, and bathe him, and pack lunches, and financially support my child, but never did I just get to be his mommy without his father stepping in and making it a memory not worth remembering. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I was afraid to leave him. I knew what I was facing if I did, but then if I didn't leave there would never be the chance to be my son's mommy. I finally mustered up the courage to even think about finding a way to get him out of the house. I filed for child support while he still lived with us. Did I mention that he withheld any form of financial contributions to the household? I knew that if he was ordered to pay child support while he lived in our home for free he'd surely get out quickly. And that he did. He is extremely manipulative and has found an attorney (his third one) who buys his garbage, and obviously needs the money. I have a wonderful attorney who has been an absolute blessing to my family. While he lived in our home he continued his crusade against me by constantly bashing me verbally in front of our children and behind my back and badgered my son daily about who he would rather live with if mommy and daddy ever separated.  My son loves his father, but has grown to recognize his father's need for him to hold him up, and be the oxygen in the air he breathes. It is a lot of pressure for him and unfortunately that comes out on me because he would never dare let his father know the turmoil and anxiety that he causes. I can't use up 10 pages of post here so I'll skip towards the end- Since our separation my son has grown even further from me being that as per the court order he was speding time with his dad every day while I was at work in the summer and every day after school until I got home from work. That has since changed through trial, but nonetheless, the PAS continues. My ex has accused me of physically abusing my child to the point of my son believing that he has been abused and apparently the ex just accused me of this again. Just found out. My child has been through therapy and has been evaluated three times for the presence of abuse and it was unfouned.  And further more the treating therapist turned to his father in a family session and told him that it was her professional opinion that my son was being coached(THANK GOD someoned picked up on this) It was about one session after that that my ex revoked his consent for my son to receive any further therapy from this provider. And being that we were in the middle of litigation and on the way to trial at that time the court would not entertain any efforts I made to have it court orderedd that he be able to return to therapy. And how was that in the best interest of my child? His father has called children and youth services on me three times so he testified in court. I've never had the pleasure of having them come to my home because they tell him he doesn't have enough of a case. And he never will because he is lying. These parents who participate in this kind of psychological abuse should absolutely lose their parental rights on the legal custody which is usually 50/50, and on the physical custody it should be supervised. My son's father has personality issues which were detected by a pyshcological evalution that would ulitmately set the stage for him to be this type of abuser. However, my son loves him and he is his father and no matter what I respect the love he has for him. So I would hurt for my son to not see him at all, but honestly, you give these parent's even 30 seconds a day unsupervised and they can do years of irrepairable damage. I have lost years of a mother/child relationship with my son. Time that I fear I will not be able to make up for at this point. It's difficult to sit back and watch day after day and it has taken years to find the right professionals to be involved to make the call whether or not there is apparent emotional abuse and parental alienation going on. IT IS A LONG haul and tiring and financially draining. And he does not do this with the other two children YET. I know he's a narcissist and my son is his supply and those people tend to stop at nothing to make sure their supply is never depleted or so I've been informed. His problems should not be mine or my son's. So through trial not even a sentence of the order referred to my children's emotional well being and he got a slap on the wrist for other little things he did or didn't do, but was able to manage to keep his 50/50 legal custody and he's dragging me back again to trial and filed more contempt charges on me. Just about everytime he takes me back he actually loses more time with the kids for one reason or another, yet his sense  of entitlement is so great that he doensn't even realize it. So dad's don't always get the bum rap. At least not here they don't. But we aren't  done yet and I won't give up on my son.
 
February 23, 2009, 12:15 pm CST

ok, maybe this will clarify....

Quote From: no_justice

I do not get to watch Dr. Phil very often due to work and school hours but I am overjoyed that I was able to view the "Brainwashed By My Parents" episode. I do not know the whole story of each individual case on the stage, but after being forced to endure the psychological abuse of my child with the permission of the "Family Court System" who do not care about the welfare of my child or anything else that concerns my child, and listening to Mel Feit the director of the National Center for Men and the family law attorney Liz Kates, as well as the others, my belief that NO ONE gives a damn about the welfare of children in America is again confirmed. The attorneys representing father's rights do not care about the children. The attorneys representing the angry mothers do not care about the children. And most certainly the Family Court Judges, most of all, do not care about the children. Judges need to be held accountable for the psychological abuse of children more than anyone. ALL CHILD ABUSE ACCUSATIONS need to be taken seriously and investigated thoroughly by an impartial, rational, individual that has the childrens best interest in mind. Children are more damaged when they are taken out of a loving stable home environment. There are many ways visitation can take place without a legal kidnaping. If a child does not want to associate with the other parent, the courts (if they cared, but obviously the courts do not) would find out the real reason why. The platform for "Father's Rights" is being used to take children away from a mother who is raising them and give them to the biological father that does not want to, and in some cases refuse to, pay child support. NO ONE can force a biological parent to be a parent. In many cases, when a biological parent is forced to be a parent, child abuse occurs and it is not from "alienation of parental rights". For those parents who use their children as pons, you are mentally imbalanced and may deserve to have your children temporarily removed from your home IF the other parent is NOT abusing the children. If not temporarily removed from the home, at least have a third party check on the child daily at the home and at different locations where the child may be. I am sick and tired of this so called "Father's Rights" and "Parental Alienation" nonsense. Some Adults need to get their head out of their crack and start paying attention to children.

apparently you need to read more than the T.V guide.

 

statisics show that fathers are being illegally kept from their children more than women.

also..

groups like fathers for justice preach to fight for the childrens rights to be with BOTH!!! parents.

and yes the childrens rights ARE more important than the parents.

 

it is people who whine about men wanting to take away from mothers, that lose the point.

we as fathers who fight to be with our children,are NOT against,enimies of,or basically haters of mothers.

its a ridiculous way of thinking.

an while we talk of statistics. its shown women who use PAS in canada it has shown that in 2007 90 children died. over half due to neglect then followed closly by the rest committing suicide.

34 of the 90 were infants dying due to neglect alone.

 

children in canada are literally dying to be with their dads.

so when you think of projecting your own egocentric point of view,just remember you are helping a child die.

 

 

 
February 24, 2009, 8:45 am CST

Mom of Lost Daughters

Quote From: gkitty26

How about this has anyone ever had your sister poisoning their mother against them.I recently decided to get closer to god i prayed that things would get better between my mother and I.I felt that on mother's day that my prayer was starting to come true.I feel as though my sister who's always been my mom's favorite wont have it.I think she's been very selfish and she has the nerve to say that I am please.She likes to do what every it takes to get my mother and I to start fighting.Like shell bring up things from the past or the fact that Im not like my mom.My mother and I have never gotten along one reason being that she judges and criticizes me to much.I just dont feel as like I cant talk to her she isnt supportive of me at all.my sister has always thought she was better than I am and to this day it hasnt changed.I was without a job last year and no place to stay and she turned meand my daughter away.Shes like well thats what you get for getting yourself in those problems.Im her ONLY sister she treats her co-workers better than she treats me.She stated that my daughter is a burden to her and that she doesnt need me.So I will continue to pray for her.

Has anyone gone thru something like this and what advice do you have.

I was married for almost 18 years to an mentally and physcially abusive ex who "brainwashed" my beautiful daughters. I don't like the term brainwashed , but i was a good mother and i can't understand why this was allowed to happen. Family court does not recognize the term PAS and if you mention it they look at you like you are an alien. Why? because it is not an diagnosis?

 

this is a living death, when your children want nothing to do with you and you have not closure. Luckly i have found sites on the internet where i have found other abused women in the same situation. Through counceling to dealing with the loss and pain of losing my children, i woke up and realized i am a victim ( i don't like the term "victim" but i am a victim of domestic violence.

 

How does one cope? My soul is lost, part of me is gone.......the abuser is getting away with this. Something must be done.

 
April 22, 2009, 11:57 am CDT

Child protection services needs to protect children

<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/parental-alienation-syndrome.html">Online petition - C.A.S needs to protect our children from Parental Alienation syndrome</a>
 
May 1, 2009, 8:15 am CDT

It works both ways

Quote From: natesmom4ever

I want to send a message to all of you parents out there that think you're doing the right thing for your child/ren by supporting their "decision" to cut out the non-custodial parent out of their lives, whether they are paying child support or not. 

 

Think about this: If you are in any way, shape or form exaggerating, manipulating, telling white lies, twisting the truth, fabricating events, justifying and/or rationalizing, in order to influence your child/ren's love and opinions of their other parent, YOU ARE COMITTING PARENTAL ALIENATION!  It's that simple and THAT'S CHILD ABUSE! 

 

Children are much more forgiving than us adults and I'm not saying that where there is REAL abuse going on it should be ignored.  Those of you who are truly dealing with abuse know who you are.  This message is not for you.  Its for the rest of you, and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  "If you know in your heart that you are doing and saying things that are inaccurate because you really would rather not have to deal with your ex for whatever reason, then you are being selfish and you are robbing your child/ren of their right to love, forgive AND be loved by both their parents. 

 

Natesmom4ever

 

I for one know who you are talking about, but this just isnt the case, without going into all this detail, my husband didnt purposely cut you out of his life, your own son has his reasons, some are good, some are not, but there is two sides to every story.  I realize some arent good enough reasons to have you not his life for the past four years, but nevertheless, those are his feelings, and he has to leave with it, judges, doctors and all the professionals, all agree with his feelings.  I know how you feel though, you are trying to get it right in your head how your own son could disown you, so you are looking for anything that you can to blame it on.  There is alot of different circumstances that happened to get him where he is today.  I am still encouraging him to have a relationship with you, and i tell him to call you and etc. We are not saying anything negative to him to reassure him that it is okay to have a relationship with you. Give it time, and we will see what happens. I just wanted to say that, that there is two sides to every story.
 
May 1, 2009, 5:43 pm CDT

I know what you are saying Karen :)

Quote From: tigger2908

I have been separated for 7 years, having been married for 23.  For the last 8 years of our marriage, my ex-husband suffered from Clinical Depression.  As far as I know, he still does.  We have no direct contact.

 

During the early part of our separation, my ex accused me of alienating our two sons from him.  The accusation came to me through my lawyer.  While he has stopped accusing me (at least I haven't heard anything more) it was extremely hurtful at the time and I still remember the feeling it caused. 

 

I consider myself a good Mom and I think my sons agree.  I'd be lying if I said that I have never said a bad word about my ex to them.  After all, I'm human.  However, it is his behaviour that has alienated our older son, not anything I said.  Without going into it all, my ex is guilty of physical abuse (just once, that's all it took), emotional abuse (saying that our sons would be better off in foster care than with me - if I'm so bad, why didn't he take them?) and financial abuse (he refuses to pay child support),  For the first couple of years, I insisted that both sons see their father.  Eventually, our older son got to the age where he could make his own choice.  He chose to cut off all contact.  Our younger son still has a relationship with his father, which I do not discourage in any way.

 

My point is that just because a child cuts off contact with the non-custodial parent, it's not always the fault of the costodial parent.  Some of these people have to take ownership for their own behaviour and accept the fact that they just might be at fault.

 

Karen

In reply to karens' comment,  my husband and i too have been accused of PAS to my 15 year old step son. It is terrible to be accused of it, especially after all we have been through. We went through court, and gained sole custody, since then there as been assualt charges, Dangerous driving charges, and the list goes on. This 15 year old now, seen what has happened and he had come to his own conclusion.  He has had psycological assessments done, he has talked to social workers, he's had his own childrens lawyer and they have all came to the same conclusion, that is has not been alienated.  She (the bio mom) has contributed to her own alienation.  On this site she posted that we have alienated him, and that is just isnt true.  In fact most recent, i have tried to reunite my step son with his bio mom, and he just went the exact opposite.  I am trying, but i cannot force him to do so. After everything he has been through i have to respect his wishes. I am glad that you say that, that the custodial parents aren't always at fault.  In fact, we have been there for him through everything and we are the most consistent in his life.
 
May 1, 2009, 5:59 pm CDT

I tell ya

Quote From: natty842

<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/parental-alienation-syndrome.html">Online petition - C.A.S needs to protect our children from Parental Alienation syndrome</a>
CAS has no right to take away a child for suspected PAS., they better be darn sure that it is going on, it is very hard to prove.  CAS has too many rights as it is.  And also in the best interest of the child.
 
May 2, 2009, 2:41 pm CDT

signs of pas

Quote From: helptopreserve

 I'd like to say after reading some of these posts that Dad's don't always get the raw deal.  I am a single mother of three children ages 9, 4 and 1. My youngest and oldest are boys and the middle is my daughter. I have been in and out of the family court system for three years. The last of my visits was a full blown custody trial that lasted two days. In the county I live in I have found that if nothing else the court system has more of a tendancy to have custody orders look fairly equal on paper no matter the costs and often with very little rhyme or reason. I am in a very difficult situation and this would be the very first time I am speaking or writing on a message board that would be available to the public. I have stopped looking for anwers because it has a tendancy to  make me only feel even more helpess when I don't get any. But today I will share my story. I was in an extremely psychologically abusive relationship for much too long. I have three beautiful children and that was the only good thing I can say I walked away with. Everything else tends to be a blur and there are so many things I don't like to recall. When I say pyschologically abusive I am talking about to the point of my ex hiding things in the house, throwing my sentimental things in the garbage, stealing grocery money, accusing me of stealing household items, and the never ending accusations of being unfaithful to the point of emotionally torturing me through my pregnancies implying that the children were not his. My children suffer this same fate and I will get to that. I knew all this time that what he was doing to me was damaging, but I thought being a woman of some intelligence that I could not possibly be abused. Years later and through therapy I have learned that it indeed was abusive and more damaging to me than I ever realized until I was away from him. We were never married. We lived together not until our first child was 5 months old. It was then that things got out of control. He became what I call obsessed with my son and obsessed with the relationship that my son would form with his own mother, my son's grandmother. He would methodically sit in front of my son before my son could speak and repeat the grandparent's names over and over again for sometimes a half hour at a time. I was so thrilled to have a child. I couldn't wait for him to be born, but at the same time I thought that it was only the right thing to do to make sure that he had a mother and father in the same home and he would be raised with both of us there together and at the time I guess I figured that would have to be at any cost to my emotional well being. Through the years this PAS as it is being labeled sprialed out of my control. All of the sudden I didn't feel like I was getting to be a mommy. Instead I felt like I had to take a back seat to everything decision being made, and I was torn from the very bond I couldn't wait to have with him. My ex spent a great deal of time making sure that I had very little to no time alone with my son. I couldn't take him to the grocery store by myself. I couldn't take him to family functions and when I dared to I had hell to pay when I got home. My son witnessed so much trauma in our household while his father lived here that he never did see anything functional until now. Through the years that passed I got to take care of his needs, and do his laundry, and bathe him, and pack lunches, and financially support my child, but never did I just get to be his mommy without his father stepping in and making it a memory not worth remembering. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I was afraid to leave him. I knew what I was facing if I did, but then if I didn't leave there would never be the chance to be my son's mommy. I finally mustered up the courage to even think about finding a way to get him out of the house. I filed for child support while he still lived with us. Did I mention that he withheld any form of financial contributions to the household? I knew that if he was ordered to pay child support while he lived in our home for free he'd surely get out quickly. And that he did. He is extremely manipulative and has found an attorney (his third one) who buys his garbage, and obviously needs the money. I have a wonderful attorney who has been an absolute blessing to my family. While he lived in our home he continued his crusade against me by constantly bashing me verbally in front of our children and behind my back and badgered my son daily about who he would rather live with if mommy and daddy ever separated.  My son loves his father, but has grown to recognize his father's need for him to hold him up, and be the oxygen in the air he breathes. It is a lot of pressure for him and unfortunately that comes out on me because he would never dare let his father know the turmoil and anxiety that he causes. I can't use up 10 pages of post here so I'll skip towards the end- Since our separation my son has grown even further from me being that as per the court order he was speding time with his dad every day while I was at work in the summer and every day after school until I got home from work. That has since changed through trial, but nonetheless, the PAS continues. My ex has accused me of physically abusing my child to the point of my son believing that he has been abused and apparently the ex just accused me of this again. Just found out. My child has been through therapy and has been evaluated three times for the presence of abuse and it was unfouned.  And further more the treating therapist turned to his father in a family session and told him that it was her professional opinion that my son was being coached(THANK GOD someoned picked up on this) It was about one session after that that my ex revoked his consent for my son to receive any further therapy from this provider. And being that we were in the middle of litigation and on the way to trial at that time the court would not entertain any efforts I made to have it court orderedd that he be able to return to therapy. And how was that in the best interest of my child? His father has called children and youth services on me three times so he testified in court. I've never had the pleasure of having them come to my home because they tell him he doesn't have enough of a case. And he never will because he is lying. These parents who participate in this kind of psychological abuse should absolutely lose their parental rights on the legal custody which is usually 50/50, and on the physical custody it should be supervised. My son's father has personality issues which were detected by a pyshcological evalution that would ulitmately set the stage for him to be this type of abuser. However, my son loves him and he is his father and no matter what I respect the love he has for him. So I would hurt for my son to not see him at all, but honestly, you give these parent's even 30 seconds a day unsupervised and they can do years of irrepairable damage. I have lost years of a mother/child relationship with my son. Time that I fear I will not be able to make up for at this point. It's difficult to sit back and watch day after day and it has taken years to find the right professionals to be involved to make the call whether or not there is apparent emotional abuse and parental alienation going on. IT IS A LONG haul and tiring and financially draining. And he does not do this with the other two children YET. I know he's a narcissist and my son is his supply and those people tend to stop at nothing to make sure their supply is never depleted or so I've been informed. His problems should not be mine or my son's. So through trial not even a sentence of the order referred to my children's emotional well being and he got a slap on the wrist for other little things he did or didn't do, but was able to manage to keep his 50/50 legal custody and he's dragging me back again to trial and filed more contempt charges on me. Just about everytime he takes me back he actually loses more time with the kids for one reason or another, yet his sense  of entitlement is so great that he doensn't even realize it. So dad's don't always get the bum rap. At least not here they don't. But we aren't  done yet and I won't give up on my son.
I have to grandbaby that I feel are suffing pas.  Its actually my ex daughter in law the is doing it. I really sorry for what you are going thru but can you give me a list of signs that you  see in your son that made you aware of it.  My son doesn't believe it could be happen to his girls since they are only 3 and 5 years old. The girls are always saying someday soon they will not see us again,  says that my son hurts people and they have nightmares.  Most of all they cry when they have to go to their mothers.
 
May 4, 2009, 1:06 pm CDT

In reply

Quote From: natesmom4ever

I have also been reduced to sending cards and I really doubt the ex and his new wife even let him see the cards.  I haven't had any type of contact with my now 14 year old son, in three long painful years.  I know exactly what all these parents mean when they talk about the pain being so intense.  The court system sucks big time, the police don't want to get involved unless it's to arrest me for emailing my son (because my ex calls them to say my son doesn't want me to so I'm not "respecting" his wishes), the doctors who did the assessment won't comit to saying it's PAS.  I could on and on about the torture I've had to endure in the last three years.  No one would believe it unless they've been through it themselves, so much has happened and been done to me by these people.  I'm even surprised I haven't jumped off a bridge somewhere!  Dr. Phil, one show was not enough to show the extremes an alienating parent will go to in order to eliminate the other parent and show people what's really happening out there to both men and women equally!  We need to continue stressing the importance of your 5 biggest mistakes divorcing parents make.  They are the foundation of what parental alienation is based on but it's much worse than that.  It's those 5 mistakes done intentionally and anything goes!  Please help us save our children from this horrendous form of child abuse!

Louise

You know i read this, and i cannot believe this.  You say you doubt we let him see the cards that you send, that is untrue, i myself have handed it over to him, and he resorts to throwing it right in the garbage, and like i have said, i have saved some of them before he would rip them up, and i put them away for when he is older. As far as the police not wanting to get involved, you've sent them many times over, and they didnt need to get involved, as nothing wrong was going on, they even spoke to your son on many occasions, and he has told them what his wishes are.  The doctors you say that won't commit to calling it PAS, what about the judges, the social worker and his own Childrens' lawyer, all say the same thing, of course they won't say PAS because in this case it dosent exsist. The torture you say that you have had to endure the last few years, what about us, what about your son, he has had to see psychologists, go to court, testify against his own mother in a court of law, the 10,000.00 + we've had to pay to our lawyer, and what we have had to deal with trying to get child support from the mother. Which we have never received not one cent ever in all these years.  That I, the stepmother has had to support her son for years now. So please don't go pointing fingers, yes, i admit it is hard to deterimine PAS but believe me, this isnt the  case, in fact, the mother has attributed to her own alienation years ago, when she moved out and left her own son behind, her choice.  and that was approx 10 years ago. Hopefully one day he will seek the mother out.  I am encourging him to do so.  I have never seen a child that feels this way about his mother, how dare you point the finger at us when there is 4 more pointing right back at you. - A frustrated step mom
 
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