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Topic : 09/25 Fireproof Your Marriage

Number of Replies: 103
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, September 25, 2008, 01:17:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard2

Have you ever had a horrible day at work and came home and dumped your baggage on your spouse? Or are you the type to bottle up your emotions and shut yourself off to loved ones? Police officers and firemen have to look death in the face every day. Their stress levels are so intense that 75 to 90 percent of their marriages end in divorce. This was the outcome for Ty and Wendy's 11-year marriage. Ty is a police officer, and Wendy says he brought his anger home and treated her and their three kids like they were inmates in jail. Ty acknowledges his negative behavior and wants to know how to change it. The couple is considering getting remarried, but will they feel the same after Dr. Phil tells them the five things they must do to make their relationship work? Then, get a sneak peak at Kirk Cameron's new movie, Fireproof, which explores the private battles many people who work extreme jobs face. Kirk and the moviemakers join Dr. Phil and share why they were so passionate about getting this movie made. Then, Kelly says her marriage is in trouble. Her husband of 16 years, John, recently became a firefighter, and she says she feels like a single mom because he puts more time into his job than his family. And, hear from Karin whose husband, Karl, has been a firefighter for 19 years. Learn the ways she handles her husband's intense emotions and how they maintain a good relationship. These are not the only extreme jobs that can cause marital crises. If your spouse is a workaholic and your marriage is suffering, you don't want to miss this show. 


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September 25, 2008, 10:04 pm CDT

Fireproof your marriage

My husband has been a police officer for over 20 years.  Dr Phil mentioned that the odds of divorce are between 75-90%, correct?  Try adding these stresses:  he's a supervisor, I have a debilitating autoimmune disease, living on his income, and we have 2 boys one of which has Aspergers Syndrome.  Statically we would have a better chance of being hit by lightening while riding elephants than staying married, but last week we celebrated our 21 year anniversary.  It hasn't always been easy, but he is a wonderful father, my best friend and the love of my life.

 

About a year ago a friend sent us this email and it is so true....  I thought it might help.

 

Tess6070

 

 

If you are a cop, were a cop, live with a cop, or are close to a cop you
will recognize a lot of the following:


FASCINATION STAGE - 1st thru 4th year of Law Enforcement.

For most officers, this is their first time outside of the middle class
bubble. They have never seen a dead body, never seen life-threatening injuries, never dealt with a family disturbance, never witnessed the squaller some people call "living life", and never really understood the phrase "Man's
Inhumanity To Man" until now. Everything is new to them. You can ID them by the amount of fancy new equipment they carry...a ten BILLION candlelight power flashlight, "state-of-the-art" holster, pens that write in the rain, a ballistic vest rated to stop Tomahawk missiles, and an equipment bag large enough to house a squad of Marines. They love it, showing up early for their shift. They work way past the end of their shift without even considering an OT slip. They believe rank within the department is based only on ability and those in the upper ranks got there by knowledge and skill in police work only. They believe the Department runs with the same attention to detail and efficiency as Joe Friday's Dragnet TV show.... everyone is dedicated &committed, everyone is competent, everyone is on the same page and working towards the same high-minded goals. When they finally go home to their spouse/ significant other, they tell them everything they did and saw; they are wired up. Some of the more
"eaten up" purchase a police scanner at Radio Shack so they can hear the
radio calls while at home.

HOSTILITY STAGE - 4th thru 6th year

They now show up for work about 2 minutes before their shift, and they are
hiding out about 30 minutes before end of shift, writing reports so they can
just throw them in the sergeant's in-box and leave ASAP. They have to get to their second job to earn money to pay for the divorce that is pending. Their spouse is no longer interested in hearing about all the gore and heartache. They get the "you spend more time with the cops than you do with me" speech. They now know how the lieutenant got those silver bars on his collar. They consider the FOP, the city, and all brass to be as dangerous as any viper. They gripe about everything, drink excessively, chase women, and hate the public, politicians, media, etc. They feel they have more in common with the hookers, thieves, dopers, etc.. but hate them too. Those pens that write in the rain are no longer needed. Writing traffic citations can be a lot more trouble than they are worth, even on a nice day To write one, or to write anything while standing in the rain, is a sure sign of an insane person.

SUPERIORITY STAGE - 7th thru 15th years

This is when cops are at their best. They have survived changes in administration. They know how the political game is played, both inside and outside of the department. They know who they can trust and who they can't. They have select friends within the department, and stay away, as best they can, from the nuts and boot-lickers. They know the legal system, the judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, etc. They know how to testify and put a good case together. They are usually the ones that the brass turn to when there is some clandestine request or sensitive operation that needs to be done right. These cops are still physically fit and can handle themselves on the street. They will stay around the station when needed, but have other commitments; such as a second/third job, a second/third spouse, a second boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. They have most of their friends are Law Enforcement now.

ACCEPTANCE STAGE - 15th to ????

Now the cops have a single objective... retirement and pension Nothing is
going to come between them and their monthly check The boss, the city (or State, or county), the idiots around the station, and the creeps on the street can all go to hell... because they could come between them and "sitting on the beach". There is no topic of discussion that can't somehow lead back to
retirement issues. These guys are usually sergeants, detectives, crime scene technicians, station duty, or some other post where they will not be endangered, but being cops they still get stupid at times, and put their butts on the line. They especially don't want some young stupid cop getting them sued, fired, killed, or anything else causing them to lose their "beach time". These guys are always there if needed. They spend a lot of time having coffee, hanging around the station, and looking at brochures of things they want to do in retirement.

Retirement Stage

Then the retired cop usually dies within the first five years of retirement,
because he/she misses the job - saving the city (or State, or county) a
bunch of money. Go figure............its a great career, stay with it!!

 
September 25, 2008, 10:17 pm CDT

Married to a Dr.

I am married to an ER doctor that has the worst schedule imaginable. It has been very tough on our marriage to the point of him filing for divorce because he doesn't feel like I support him in his job. I often experience people saying to the two of us "gosh that is a tough schedule for you (my husband) but no one has every said "that has got to be tough on your wife" . I have been fighting like crazy to save this marriage and can completely relate to this movie. Not only is his schedule tough on us but so are the people he is confiding in. Everyone is telling him to do what makes him happy and if that is divorce then that is what he should do. No one is giving him the advice that Kirk is getting in the movie. I wish they were. I heard about this movie a week ago and he and I have planned on going to see it together on Monday. I hope it opens his eyes a little bit. We just attended a marriage retreat called Retrouvaille and I would highly recommend it for anyone in a troubled marriage.
 
September 25, 2008, 10:26 pm CDT

Cops

As a retired cop with almost 30 years on the job, I would say many young cops have problems like the one we saw on today's show because instead of them, the man, defining the job, they allow the job to define them as men.  It was my experience that as cops get some age, wisdom and maturity on them, they tend to associate less with the people they work with so they can escape the grasp the job has on them, their life and their family.  It really got to be quite boring being around people that could or would only talk about  their job, war stories, and looked at most everyone not in law enforcement as being a scumbag or dirt bag. Cops have extraordinary power.  Besides a soldier during a time of war, a police officer is the only other person empowered to take a life without there being a judge determining guilt and imposing a sentence of death.  Cops are perceived as controlling because that is exactly what people expect from them.  People call the police during times when their lives, at least at that moment, are out of control.  They not only expect, but demand, that this uniformed individual arrive on the scene and bring immediate calm to chaos, and control to the uncontrollable.  Police don't have time to summons a committee for a consultation on the matter.  They make a decision, they make it now, and that decision is truly the final answer.  That is a trait that is quickly ingrained in the psyche of a police officer.  When that same cop is home and there's a problem in the household, the cop pulls from his successful resource from the job and makes a quick decision to abate the problem.  The spouse, feeling they weren't allowed to be part of the problem-solving process, labels their law enforcement spouse as "controlling."  The cop meantime, thinks he/she was simply being helpful, not hurtful.

 

The department I retired from had classes for the spouses of the police officers.  They attended classes once a week for a number of weeks and were taught various aspects of the job.  In addition to the classroom sessions, they also rode along on a shift, they had a turn at the shoot, don't shoot system, and they even spent time on the shooting range.  They left the "training" with a better understanding of what their spouse does for a living and what he/she goes through during a typical day at work.  A cop's job by the way is described as 80% boredom and 20% sheer terror.  It's that going from 0 to 60 in a flash that causes cops to have a high incidence of heart attacks, alcohol related problems, suicide, and the reason, on average, they die within five years of retiring. 

 

If I could give a few tips to younger officers it would be:  It's a job.  An important job, but still just a job.  Hopefully you have good character or you wouldn't have been hired in the first place.  That said, when you put the uniform on, let the man inside the uniform define the type of cop you'll be.  Don't let the uniform define the man wearing it.  You are a role model.  Always do the right thing.  If you think it's normal to unscrew your head and pour large amount of alcohol down your throat, it's time to seek some counseling.  If you're married and give into the temptation of the plethora of holster sniffers out there, cheating is selfish and cowardly, and your spouse deserves better.  If you're not married, there are a lot of women out there just waiting for you to screw up so they can take you down.  Don't jeopardize your career just so you can do the mattress mambo with some stranger.  Most importantly, be careful out there.   

 

  

 
September 25, 2008, 10:32 pm CDT

FILL IN THE BLANKS PEOPLE

Reading some of these posts, I cant believe that people are so bothered and upset that Dr.Phil did not "specifically" mention each stress related job. People, we are adults not children. I dont think it takes much intelligence to "fill in the blank" if this story relates to you. He did mention "first responders" which covers MANY lines of work. EMS just in case you dont know this, you are considered first responders too. The rest of you, quit whining like Rodney Dangerfield about getting no respect. If you OR your spouse have a stressful job and can relate to this topic/movie then stop focusing that your job was not mentioned. You are missing the point entirely. This movie is called "Fireproof" based on the marriage of a fireman, hence the reason for the firefighters in the audience. When they make a movie for EMS, linemen, military etc, then you can call for tickets.

And just to discuss the bottom line, some jobs statisically have higher divorce rates. Not to mention higher alcoholism, suicide and infidelity rates. There are reasons behind that and it is worthy of being discussed and explored.

PS. People, please stop writing your life story on here. These are posts not novels.

 
September 25, 2008, 10:35 pm CDT

Couldn't be more true

I have been married to a firefighter for 16 roller coaster years.  We separated after 5 years and then after counseling got back to raise our 2 kids.  It has been difficult and we have grown farther and farther apart. You really need to have excellent communication skills to be married to someone who is gone more than they are home. I have felt like a single mom for years.  It is isolating as other families have normal schedules and dads that are home on weekends and holidays so we don't fit in with them and we live away from where my husband works so can't associate or commiserate with other firefighters wifes as husband doesn't associate with co-workers. On the brink of a divorce living separate lives but married in the same house.
 
September 25, 2008, 11:39 pm CDT

I thought I was alone

I have been struggling in my marriage trying to make it work I feel like I don't get anywhere.  I am a stay at home mom my husband is a cop.  He puts his job before us all the time he works long hours and is angry when I tell him I feel like his job is his life I feel like a single mother.  Its like he comes home and wants to sleep be on the computer or wants to be left alone in the room watching t.v.  It gets frusterating I just want my husband and we get in arguments about it all the time.  I cook clean take care of the kids they are very small and I would like for him to be there but he isn't and he doesn't seem to care he just ignores it lately he has picked up a lil hobby with his buddies so now he is really gone much more he says all he does is work and he thinks he deserves that free time with what he wants to do.  He says if he is at home all I do is nag anyways.  I feel like why is he even with me if he feels that way.  I just want his time love and attention.  I don't think it is too much.  I am obviously pushing him away even more.  I have no idea how to restore my marriage.  It seems to just be getting worse.  But I want a husband and have tried telling him.  I know I cant just accept this life I am not happy I feel alone and my self esteem is so low.
 
September 26, 2008, 12:10 am CDT

Stress and Marriage - That is so, how I have been reacting lately

I have had a bit of bad news from work. As a consequence I have been stuck at home for the past 5 months. Slightly different than Fireproof marriage show, its opposite, I need to get back to work, and the frustration from that is causing me to act in the way portrayed in the show. I have been dumping on my wife to a point now that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I feel like she is always nagging at me, and then we get into it, and I get so mad. I start shouting, I curse and have called her outside her name. I would leave me, if I was her.

The worst thing is, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I am man enough to say that I don't know how to stop myself getting so wound up with her, getting wound up period. I am frustrated that my company has treated me this way after 22 years of loyal service, and the fact I need to get another Job here in the US, and failure for me to do that is spilling out anytime we have a discussion, it doesn't matter how small. What can I do? I have to change or she's gone.I have to save my marriage. But how, I think she is gone past even caring. HELP!!!!!

 
September 26, 2008, 2:40 am CDT

STAGES OF A COP'S CAREER

Quote From: tess6070

My husband has been a police officer for over 20 years.  Dr Phil mentioned that the odds of divorce are between 75-90%, correct?  Try adding these stresses:  he's a supervisor, I have a debilitating autoimmune disease, living on his income, and we have 2 boys one of which has Aspergers Syndrome.  Statically we would have a better chance of being hit by lightening while riding elephants than staying married, but last week we celebrated our 21 year anniversary.  It hasn't always been easy, but he is a wonderful father, my best friend and the love of my life.

 

About a year ago a friend sent us this email and it is so true....  I thought it might help.

 

Tess6070

 

 

If you are a cop, were a cop, live with a cop, or are close to a cop you
will recognize a lot of the following:


FASCINATION STAGE - 1st thru 4th year of Law Enforcement.

For most officers, this is their first time outside of the middle class
bubble. They have never seen a dead body, never seen life-threatening injuries, never dealt with a family disturbance, never witnessed the squaller some people call "living life", and never really understood the phrase "Man's
Inhumanity To Man" until now. Everything is new to them. You can ID them by the amount of fancy new equipment they carry...a ten BILLION candlelight power flashlight, "state-of-the-art" holster, pens that write in the rain, a ballistic vest rated to stop Tomahawk missiles, and an equipment bag large enough to house a squad of Marines. They love it, showing up early for their shift. They work way past the end of their shift without even considering an OT slip. They believe rank within the department is based only on ability and those in the upper ranks got there by knowledge and skill in police work only. They believe the Department runs with the same attention to detail and efficiency as Joe Friday's Dragnet TV show.... everyone is dedicated &committed, everyone is competent, everyone is on the same page and working towards the same high-minded goals. When they finally go home to their spouse/ significant other, they tell them everything they did and saw; they are wired up. Some of the more
"eaten up" purchase a police scanner at Radio Shack so they can hear the
radio calls while at home.

HOSTILITY STAGE - 4th thru 6th year

They now show up for work about 2 minutes before their shift, and they are
hiding out about 30 minutes before end of shift, writing reports so they can
just throw them in the sergeant's in-box and leave ASAP. They have to get to their second job to earn money to pay for the divorce that is pending. Their spouse is no longer interested in hearing about all the gore and heartache. They get the "you spend more time with the cops than you do with me" speech. They now know how the lieutenant got those silver bars on his collar. They consider the FOP, the city, and all brass to be as dangerous as any viper. They gripe about everything, drink excessively, chase women, and hate the public, politicians, media, etc. They feel they have more in common with the hookers, thieves, dopers, etc.. but hate them too. Those pens that write in the rain are no longer needed. Writing traffic citations can be a lot more trouble than they are worth, even on a nice day To write one, or to write anything while standing in the rain, is a sure sign of an insane person.

SUPERIORITY STAGE - 7th thru 15th years

This is when cops are at their best. They have survived changes in administration. They know how the political game is played, both inside and outside of the department. They know who they can trust and who they can't. They have select friends within the department, and stay away, as best they can, from the nuts and boot-lickers. They know the legal system, the judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, etc. They know how to testify and put a good case together. They are usually the ones that the brass turn to when there is some clandestine request or sensitive operation that needs to be done right. These cops are still physically fit and can handle themselves on the street. They will stay around the station when needed, but have other commitments; such as a second/third job, a second/third spouse, a second boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. They have most of their friends are Law Enforcement now.

ACCEPTANCE STAGE - 15th to ????

Now the cops have a single objective... retirement and pension Nothing is
going to come between them and their monthly check The boss, the city (or State, or county), the idiots around the station, and the creeps on the street can all go to hell... because they could come between them and "sitting on the beach". There is no topic of discussion that can't somehow lead back to
retirement issues. These guys are usually sergeants, detectives, crime scene technicians, station duty, or some other post where they will not be endangered, but being cops they still get stupid at times, and put their butts on the line. They especially don't want some young stupid cop getting them sued, fired, killed, or anything else causing them to lose their "beach time". These guys are always there if needed. They spend a lot of time having coffee, hanging around the station, and looking at brochures of things they want to do in retirement.

Retirement Stage

Then the retired cop usually dies within the first five years of retirement,
because he/she misses the job - saving the city (or State, or county) a
bunch of money. Go figure............its a great career, stay with it!!

I FOUND THE EACH STAGE OF A
COP'S CAREER SO INFORMATIVE. IT
GIVES ME A BETTER VIEW ON WHAT THEY GO THROUGH. AMAZINGLY AS HARD AS THEIR JOBS ARE AND HOW MUCH THEY ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO RETIREMENT, ONCE THEY DO RETIRE THEY MISS IT AND THEIR MORTALITY RATE IS VERY SHORT!
HATS OFF TO ALL
COPS WHO PROTECT ALL OF THE CITIZENS OF THE U.S.A.
WE APPRECIATE
YOUR SERVICE TO US. THANKS!
 
September 26, 2008, 3:26 am CDT

STAGES OF A COP'S CAREER

Quote From: duckman82

As a retired cop with almost 30 years on the job, I would say many young cops have problems like the one we saw on today's show because instead of them, the man, defining the job, they allow the job to define them as men.  It was my experience that as cops get some age, wisdom and maturity on them, they tend to associate less with the people they work with so they can escape the grasp the job has on them, their life and their family.  It really got to be quite boring being around people that could or would only talk about  their job, war stories, and looked at most everyone not in law enforcement as being a scumbag or dirt bag. Cops have extraordinary power.  Besides a soldier during a time of war, a police officer is the only other person empowered to take a life without there being a judge determining guilt and imposing a sentence of death.  Cops are perceived as controlling because that is exactly what people expect from them.  People call the police during times when their lives, at least at that moment, are out of control.  They not only expect, but demand, that this uniformed individual arrive on the scene and bring immediate calm to chaos, and control to the uncontrollable.  Police don't have time to summons a committee for a consultation on the matter.  They make a decision, they make it now, and that decision is truly the final answer.  That is a trait that is quickly ingrained in the psyche of a police officer.  When that same cop is home and there's a problem in the household, the cop pulls from his successful resource from the job and makes a quick decision to abate the problem.  The spouse, feeling they weren't allowed to be part of the problem-solving process, labels their law enforcement spouse as "controlling."  The cop meantime, thinks he/she was simply being helpful, not hurtful.

 

The department I retired from had classes for the spouses of the police officers.  They attended classes once a week for a number of weeks and were taught various aspects of the job.  In addition to the classroom sessions, they also rode along on a shift, they had a turn at the shoot, don't shoot system, and they even spent time on the shooting range.  They left the "training" with a better understanding of what their spouse does for a living and what he/she goes through during a typical day at work.  A cop's job by the way is described as 80% boredom and 20% sheer terror.  It's that going from 0 to 60 in a flash that causes cops to have a high incidence of heart attacks, alcohol related problems, suicide, and the reason, on average, they die within five years of retiring. 

 

If I could give a few tips to younger officers it would be:  It's a job.  An important job, but still just a job.  Hopefully you have good character or you wouldn't have been hired in the first place.  That said, when you put the uniform on, let the man inside the uniform define the type of cop you'll be.  Don't let the uniform define the man wearing it.  You are a role model.  Always do the right thing.  If you think it's normal to unscrew your head and pour large amount of alcohol down your throat, it's time to seek some counseling.  If you're married and give into the temptation of the plethora of holster sniffers out there, cheating is selfish and cowardly, and your spouse deserves better.  If you're not married, there are a lot of women out there just waiting for you to screw up so they can take you down.  Don't jeopardize your career just so you can do the mattress mambo with some stranger.  Most importantly, be careful out there.   

 

  

I KNOW HAVE A
BETTER UNDERSTANG OF A COP'S CAREER WITH YOUR WRITING ABOUT EACH STAGE THEY GO THROUGH
IN THEIR LIFE.
THANK YOU FOR SERVING ALL OF THE CITIZENS OF THE
U.S.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
September 26, 2008, 3:36 am CDT

STAGES OF A COP'S CAREER

Quote From: tess6070

My husband has been a police officer for over 20 years.  Dr Phil mentioned that the odds of divorce are between 75-90%, correct?  Try adding these stresses:  he's a supervisor, I have a debilitating autoimmune disease, living on his income, and we have 2 boys one of which has Aspergers Syndrome.  Statically we would have a better chance of being hit by lightening while riding elephants than staying married, but last week we celebrated our 21 year anniversary.  It hasn't always been easy, but he is a wonderful father, my best friend and the love of my life.

 

About a year ago a friend sent us this email and it is so true....  I thought it might help.

 

Tess6070

 

 

If you are a cop, were a cop, live with a cop, or are close to a cop you
will recognize a lot of the following:


FASCINATION STAGE - 1st thru 4th year of Law Enforcement.

For most officers, this is their first time outside of the middle class
bubble. They have never seen a dead body, never seen life-threatening injuries, never dealt with a family disturbance, never witnessed the squaller some people call "living life", and never really understood the phrase "Man's
Inhumanity To Man" until now. Everything is new to them. You can ID them by the amount of fancy new equipment they carry...a ten BILLION candlelight power flashlight, "state-of-the-art" holster, pens that write in the rain, a ballistic vest rated to stop Tomahawk missiles, and an equipment bag large enough to house a squad of Marines. They love it, showing up early for their shift. They work way past the end of their shift without even considering an OT slip. They believe rank within the department is based only on ability and those in the upper ranks got there by knowledge and skill in police work only. They believe the Department runs with the same attention to detail and efficiency as Joe Friday's Dragnet TV show.... everyone is dedicated &committed, everyone is competent, everyone is on the same page and working towards the same high-minded goals. When they finally go home to their spouse/ significant other, they tell them everything they did and saw; they are wired up. Some of the more
"eaten up" purchase a police scanner at Radio Shack so they can hear the
radio calls while at home.

HOSTILITY STAGE - 4th thru 6th year

They now show up for work about 2 minutes before their shift, and they are
hiding out about 30 minutes before end of shift, writing reports so they can
just throw them in the sergeant's in-box and leave ASAP. They have to get to their second job to earn money to pay for the divorce that is pending. Their spouse is no longer interested in hearing about all the gore and heartache. They get the "you spend more time with the cops than you do with me" speech. They now know how the lieutenant got those silver bars on his collar. They consider the FOP, the city, and all brass to be as dangerous as any viper. They gripe about everything, drink excessively, chase women, and hate the public, politicians, media, etc. They feel they have more in common with the hookers, thieves, dopers, etc.. but hate them too. Those pens that write in the rain are no longer needed. Writing traffic citations can be a lot more trouble than they are worth, even on a nice day To write one, or to write anything while standing in the rain, is a sure sign of an insane person.

SUPERIORITY STAGE - 7th thru 15th years

This is when cops are at their best. They have survived changes in administration. They know how the political game is played, both inside and outside of the department. They know who they can trust and who they can't. They have select friends within the department, and stay away, as best they can, from the nuts and boot-lickers. They know the legal system, the judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, etc. They know how to testify and put a good case together. They are usually the ones that the brass turn to when there is some clandestine request or sensitive operation that needs to be done right. These cops are still physically fit and can handle themselves on the street. They will stay around the station when needed, but have other commitments; such as a second/third job, a second/third spouse, a second boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. They have most of their friends are Law Enforcement now.

ACCEPTANCE STAGE - 15th to ????

Now the cops have a single objective... retirement and pension Nothing is
going to come between them and their monthly check The boss, the city (or State, or county), the idiots around the station, and the creeps on the street can all go to hell... because they could come between them and "sitting on the beach". There is no topic of discussion that can't somehow lead back to
retirement issues. These guys are usually sergeants, detectives, crime scene technicians, station duty, or some other post where they will not be endangered, but being cops they still get stupid at times, and put their butts on the line. They especially don't want some young stupid cop getting them sued, fired, killed, or anything else causing them to lose their "beach time". These guys are always there if needed. They spend a lot of time having coffee, hanging around the station, and looking at brochures of things they want to do in retirement.

Retirement Stage

Then the retired cop usually dies within the first five years of retirement,
because he/she misses the job - saving the city (or State, or county) a
bunch of money. Go figure............its a great career, stay with it!!

I NOW HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT A COP GOES THROUGH HIS CAREER WITH ALL THE DIFFERENT STAGES YOU WROTE ABOUT.
I WANT TO THANK ALL OF THE COPS THAT ARE SERVING THE CITIZENS OF THE U.S.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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