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Topic : 03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

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Created on : Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:14:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Should schools be allowed to pass out birth control to students? Should teens be forced to take vows of purity? Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Reposition Yourself, tackle these and other controversial issues. First up, Ed is an abstinence educator who believes the only safe sex for teens is no sex. But 21-year-old Shelby calls Ed’s tactics “dangerous” and says kids need sex education in schools to stop teen pregnancy. Are abstinence-only programs effective? See what Dr. Phil and the Bishop think. Then, Lisette says if she had had access to birth control when she was 12 years old, she wouldn't have had a baby at 13. Is her school to blame for not handing out birth control? What’s right for your child? Plus, is it realistic for teens to live by purity pledges until they get married? A sexually active 14-year-old and an 18-year-old virgin face off on this touchy topic. And, another issue making the headlines is: Should pregnant teens be given maternity leave? Dr. Lisa Masterson, an OB-GYN and member of The Doctors, shares her views, join the discussion and share your views too!

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 1, 2008, 11:47 am CST

T.D.Jakes & Oprah

Would like to know, Dr. Phil - is T.D.Jakes in with Oprah in teaching the "New Age Religion"? Because if he is - he's going against everything he's been preaching - and there will be millions following them straight into hell!!!
March 1, 2008, 11:51 am CST

My thoughts about forcing one

 I believe that you should care enough to force one to do what that individual chooses, by doing this, one can make there own mistakes and have the potential to have learned the most he could understand, of course, positive coaching is anyones biggest need.  I truly hope that insight encourages forward growth in fact.  Fare well and it is my pleasure to wish you the best.
Ontario, Canada.
March 1, 2008, 12:04 pm CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Parents these days seem to be too busy with their own lives that they don't even think to discuss sex with their children... They figure that their kids already know all about it.. I am sure they know the mechanics but what they don't realize about is the emotional aspects, disease and unwanted pregnancies.   I have two grown daughters but I raised them alone and I made sure that were informed about raging male hormones. etc.  Alot of friends parents did not talk about sex.  So they have a few friends that were hot to trot and ended up sorry.  I even provided my girls with birth control and a condom.  I felt that if they were going to have sex that they should at least be protected in all aspects.  I also talked with them about not being permiscuous.  My famous quote to my girls was "a boy will say anything to get in your pants."  It was not meant to be vugar - it was meant to be straight forward and honest.  I explained that most girls get emotionally attached immediately but most boys just seem to be able to do it and go to the next without any conscience.. its just raging hormones.   I believe girls and boys should be informed in their pre-teen years so they can be comfortable with the subject  so its not so taboo.  Since I was open and honest, both of my girls made wise choices throughout their teenage and young adult years.  Now they are beautiful mothers and good husband and children of their own...  Teach your children well...joyce c
March 1, 2008, 12:06 pm CST

how can one decide with out having clarity

I am just wondering how on earth anyone could make a good decision for themselves based on lack of information and in fact they carry great  potential for misunderstandings?
March 1, 2008, 12:25 pm CST

Grammar Lesson

Just a head's up -- It might look better to call it "Teens and Sex, with Bishop T.D. Jakes."  When I first saw the topic I thought it was another Catholic scandal!!
March 1, 2008, 12:27 pm CST

Can sex ed prevent molestation?

Teens definitely need sex ed.  My niece attended a Christian School that did not seem to think that it was appropiate.  My niece was being molested by her stepfather at the time they should have been taught about sexual contact.  I believe if the school had taught her anything about sex ed she would have been aware what her stepfather was doing was not "what close families do" and would have realized he was not checking her to see "if she was developing right"  This child was so naive she didn't have a clue what he was doing was wrong.  I know this isn't the same thing the show is aiming at but there is another side to sex ed that most people do not give a thought to.
March 1, 2008, 12:38 pm CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

     I have twin teenagers, boy and a girl.  I have expectations for them, and I don't understand people who think we shouldn't have any expectations for our teenagers.  I am dumfounded by the parents who say they let the opposite sex stay over or host the beer parties because they have to face the facts that the kids are going to do these things.  They are so busy trying to be the kids friends they forget that they need to be the parents. I think if you don't have big expectations for your kids they won't expect anything of themselves.   I give the kids guidence and they need to choose if they wish to follow it, but I need to stick to my guns.  I don't pretend things that I don't want them to do don't exist, and they are educated on all facets.  But they know what is expected of them and knock on wood they are following the right path. 

    One of the facts I have discussed with the kids is the fact that I believe at this point in time pregnancy is the least of your worries.  The diseases that are out there and the damage that can be done to a young person psychologically to me far outweigh the complications of pregancy.  So I guess handing out condoms with their relitively low success rate is really a non issue to me.  Most birth control not only is not 100 percent effective against pregnancy it does nothing to protect you from disease and crippled emotions that you are not yet equipped to handle at a tender young age.

     So I will continue to teach my kids to abstain and hope they continue to listen.

March 1, 2008, 12:54 pm CST

In agreement with T.D. Jakes

Hello, I am a 31 year old single mother of 2.  I became a child of God 11 years ago.  One year ago, I decided to take a vow of celibacy. I didn't do it because someone in the church told me to, I did it because the bottom line is, even though sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing, it was made and reserved for married couples.  I f eel that it should be expressed to the youth that yes, it is a great thing, and feels even better, but not for them until they are married! I could go on for hours on this topic alone. I work with Minister RMB who has dedicated complete albums to this specific topic! He helped write the book "Every Man's Battle" and is really passionate about it! If you ever need someone to come on and maintain the purity side of this debate, please let me know, and I am there! Take care, and God Bless
March 1, 2008, 12:55 pm CST

Sex is Sacred

Teens need to be taught abstinece, but they also need to know why.  Just telling them that as teens they aren't "ready" for it is not enough.  Sexual intercourse is the highest expression of love between a man and a woman, so belongs within the bounds of a committed relationship--marriage.  It is through sex that we become closest to God by becoming co-creators (either literally or figuaratively) with God. Casual sex is selfish, denies the sacred nature of the act and makes us little better than rutting animals.  We need to teach our children morals, not just sex eduaction.



March 1, 2008, 1:01 pm CST

No Longer A "Child"

Having sex is not a decision to be made by a child.  Parents should stress that once a teen becomes VOLUNTERILY sexually active, with a partner close in age, there is an end to childhood.  Now, there is accountability, as with "rights", come responsibilities.  The idea of young kids having sex really bothers me, because I know the lack of maturity leaves them so vulnerable to rejection....which is going to happen.  Does any adult really believe that  any of these kids are in a long term committed relationship?  If so, they need their heads examined.  It hurts anyone at any age to have been intimate and then get dropped for someone else.   If you are older, you may comprehend it better, but to a teen, it is devastating, and can lead to greater problems.

Preaching abstinance?  It doesn't work.  This is a catch 22.  Which poison is better, give them the tools and the information to do the wrong thing the right way, or to try to force a promise that won't, in many cases, be kept?

My opinion, lay the facts on the line, parents...state your beliefs, your concerns, but do so with love.  Educate teens about responsible sex, and do whatever to prevent unwanted pregnancy or disease.  Make it very clear to your kids that sex takes them to the next expect them to be 100% aware that sex is not the act of a CHILD, and that you will hold them to a higher standard of conduct in all areas of life, not just when it involves their libido.

Another craw in my throat....she's 16, he's 18...sorry guys, it's NOT rape!  You can't have it both ways, and many a 16 year old has lied about her age, and is very capable of "seduction".  Let's not mix this one up with molestation and acts of violence.  That is something that needs to be re-adressed in our society of modern morality.

Too bad we've come this far.  Just hope that the tide will turn, and the severity of this will be recognized, but I am not holding my breath.  For those who DO choose to abstain until there is greater maturity, I commend you all...keep your virginity until YOU feel ready.

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