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Topic : 08/18 "Sober Up or Else!"

Number of Replies: 429
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Created on : Thursday, February 14, 2008, 03:47:29 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/18/08) Living with an alcoholic parent is one of the most difficult and heart-wrenching experiences a child can go through. Heather, 28, and Alexandra, 21, say their mother, Joey, is a pathetic drunk, and if she doesn’t get clean once and for all, they will walk away from her forever. Joey says she had her first drink at 7 and was drinking heavily every weekend by 15. She’s now 54 and about to lose everything she holds dear. Former guest and drug addict Joani began documenting Joey’s addiction a month ago. Faced with home video footage and testimonials from her family members, will Joey have the courage to take a step toward sobriety, or will she cave in to her addiction like she did after her previous stints in rehab? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 16, 2008, 8:26 am CST


This will be a sad show. My biggest personality problem is that I had a Mom with a drinking  problem, no she was a drunk, but when she was straight she was a  great dresser, a red hat wearer, a real looker but she had that awful disease. I have listened to you enough to know that both you and Robin had alcoholic parents, and it  is sad. The thing is you can not walk away from them. You have to learn to live your own life and detach from their lives. That way you can still see them but realize that they have their life and you have yours. My Mom lived to be 80 years old. She was diagnosed with dementia and she forgot that she drank and  smoked when she was 78. But hey, she could watch "It's a Wonderful Life" 52 times in a row and love it like it was the first!


Good luck to the daughters! 

February 16, 2008, 9:06 am CST

I'm A Drunk Too

I too am a drunk...began at age 3 with my first sips of my Dad's beer...Loved it...started drinking at age 13 (stealing from my parents fridge)...been drinking ever 3 boys have definately been effected by my drinking in various ways, neglect being number husband tired of my drinking many years ago...anyway, I will be watching Monday to see if she can do it...Today is my 44th Birthday!...I wish Joey luck...maybe she can inspire me...Deb
February 16, 2008, 10:14 am CST


I read your story and my heart breaks for you. From 1979 until 1984 I drank to numb the pain of mental and physical abuse from my common law boyfriend. When I met him I had no idea he was an addict and alcoholic. Just one week from my 26th birthday he punched me in the face so hard I flew across my livingroom. He did this because he thought I was talking to another guy on the phone, I had only known him since Dec 28th of the previous year, my birthday was in the last week of January. From that time on he beat me every time he drank, I had black eyes almost every month and the verbal abuse was horrible. He hated the fact that people thought I was beautiful and he wanted to make me ugly. I tried to leave but it was impossible. I had him arrested a few times to only have him come back and make me pay. I drank every day from morning until I passed out. My daughter was only 12 and 13 yrs old at the time. I knew I was hurting her so bad by my drinking but I just couldn't stand to be sober and around him. In 1985 I decided I had had enough and I quit drinking which made him decide to quit also. The worst of it was he quit booze only to start  drugs such as heroin, methadone, morphine and anything else he could find. The beatings stop but he convinced me to start using drugs, which I did. I finally left him after 22 years of hell and I have never looked back. I haven't drank or drugged in 23 years and I am married to an awesome man who doesn't drink or drug. If you can get the help you know you need you will be amazed at the life you can have sober. There are some wonderful 12 step programs and recovery houses that I'm sure can help you. Just do it one day at a time and if you stay motivated, you will finally get the life you deserve and have always deserved. I wish you nothing but good luck and hope. Please don't give up on life for death.


God Bless you,


February 16, 2008, 10:31 am CST

Doctor Phil Show

Doctor Else Or Phil Sober Up. I hate to see anyone drink and drive and get someone else hurt. See you----

on Monday Feburary 18th, 2008. (Day Happy Presidents.) Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------

February 16, 2008, 11:22 am CST

sober up or else


Unless & until this lady accepts the fact that she is powerless over alcohol & that her life has become unmanageable, as have over 3 million other alcoholics world wide have done, there is nothing anyone can do for her!!

Unless & until she asks for help, which is ONLY a phone call away, there is absolutly NOTHING anyone can do for her & ultimatims will NOT do it!!

We alcoholis, myself being one---in recovery now for 22 years, are in a world of our own. I know, I've been there & even now, am only ONE drink away from my next drunk!

Unless & until this lady hits her "bottom" & accepts the fact that recovery CANNOT be done alone, she will remain "married" to the bottle!

As a former leader of a group in Alcoholics Anonymous, I repeatedly say "if you worked your sobriety program the way I work mine, you would likely get drunk".

To the concerned family, PLEASE, A.A. is listed in all phone books. Give them a call, someone will gladly bring a partner & meet with this lady. Hear them out, listen to THEIR story. They have BEEN where this lady is NOW! Maybe not exactly, everyone is different, but still the same. They too were HOPELESS DRUNKS!

May I also recommend Alanon for those concerned that you may better understand what the one you are concerned about is living with, or trying to escape from.

In closing, I pray she will find a higher power other than that of the bottle---I did.

On my DD, Dry Date, the God of my understanding took away my desire to hide from reality & really, that's all I drank for--to escape from the realities of life.

NOT all find this particular Higher Power, HOWEVER He can also be translated to that of Good Orderly Direction.

Good luck.

February 16, 2008, 11:29 am CST

Living with a mother that is a acholic

February 16, 2008, 11:35 am CST

My opinion

I haven't seen the show yet, but I think once she sees the video during her intervention, she will except help!!
February 16, 2008, 11:47 am CST

I've been that mother

I've been where this mother has been. I started drinking at 13 and by the time I was 23 I was binge drinking every chancepossible. I was married and had two little girls. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Lonely like only another alcoholic will understand, fearfull of every one and everything. Confused, why could I not drink like others? Always feeling guilty, remorseful and fearful?  Why was I paving my own road to hell with good intentions? Why couldn't I keep a promise not to drink? Why were my binges getting longer and the time in between them getting shorter? Why wasn't I able to be the kind of woman I had set my dreams on?

I was alcoholic and didn't know it.

A very kind and knowing doctor suggested I go to me to A.A., saying he felt this was the answer to my problem, and if I did not seek help not to return to him.

I was not interested in A.A. I was too young, a female,not that bad and knew nothing about Alcoholis Anonymous,and I was scared.

The day came I was to have that moment of truth. As I sit holding my baby up to my ear and listening to her little giggle I thought I can not go on like this. I was not brought up in a home where there was alcohol present. I went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous kicking and screaming {in my head}. Although I did not stay sober my first time I have been sober for a number of years and my daughters never remember me drinking.

Alcoholism is a dreadful disease for the one who has it or the ones that have to live with one.I have witnessed many a woman trying to get sober and the family just in utter dispair. My heart goes out th these children ....... they could have been mine. I am proud of their intervention. Mant times this works, and I wish them well. However if their mother is unwilling to try, please for your own sanity get intouch with Alanon.

February 16, 2008, 11:56 am CST

living wit an alcholic

i am 37 years old my parentsdrank for several years and i often found myself sitting in the bar with them until closing time they would what you call bar hoppiing on a daily basesand my schooling was horrible my mother made it appoint to send me to my aunts home during the summer well as i got older i didn't go to the bars with very much at all i went through many obstacles with them both well now my mother to this day still drinks since then they have divorced now i am 37 years old and been married 3 times tis is my 3rd marriage i have went from being beaten to i coudn't walk thats the 1st marriage and the second on forced me to get maried being that i had 2 children and said he would have them taken from me just like my twin boys that my mother have and now i have been with my husband for 13 years and before we got married he was an alcholic and he quit for some time after we got married and the obsticles thatwe have endured the past years now he is beginning to do it again i don't know what to do i surly wouldn't think divorce is the answer  i have grown up with it and now iam living it again i lovemy husband very much and writting to the show for dr phil's help is gotten me no where like i thought that it would of course there is more anyway i have found that they only pick  the indidualls that  seem fit for his show i have written 3 or more topics and i have received 2 phone calls and thats where it stops sincerly l kess
February 16, 2008, 12:16 pm CST

You need to get help

Quote From: debnhra

I too am a drunk...began at age 3 with my first sips of my Dad's beer...Loved it...started drinking at age 13 (stealing from my parents fridge)...been drinking ever 3 boys have definately been effected by my drinking in various ways, neglect being number husband tired of my drinking many years ago...anyway, I will be watching Monday to see if she can do it...Today is my 44th Birthday!...I wish Joey luck...maybe she can inspire me...Deb
You realize you have a problem.  Give your kids the greatest gift in life and check into rehab.  It would be the best thing you could do for your marriage and your kids.
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