Message Boards

Topic : 11/26 Katherine Returns

Number of Replies: 521
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:03:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows up with a family terrified for the safety of their loved one, Katherine, a young woman who flew to the Middle East to be with Abdullah, whom she met online. When she last spoke with Dr. Phil, Katherine promised that she would return to the United States within two days, but immediately after the show, she changed her mind. Find out what happened during two failed attempts to get Katherine home, and what finally got her on a plane. Then, Katherine’s mother, Shawn, and sister, Mary, say they were overwhelmingly relieved to have her back safe, so why didn’t they greet her at the airport? Katherine joins her family onstage and offers her tearful apologies. After hearing how her actions have affected her family and Dr. Phil’s staff, will Katherine go back to Abdullah, or will she have a change of heart? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 25, 2007, 4:13 am CST

Are you kidding???

Quote From: canada_here

Katherine's Middle-Eastern fiance may not be able to visit her and her family  the USA.

I am a Canadian and I know that he might have difficulty obtaining a VISA tocoe to the USA, depending upon his country of origin in the "Middle East".

How could Robin and Dr. Phil promise this man that he could sit down with Katherine and her family and work it out, around the kitchen table once she was back home?

Was this  fair, honest & ethical?

Fair, honest and ethical????


For starters, he could "be there" via webcam, etc.  Dr. Phil's statement doesn't claim he is PHYSICALLY going to be there. 


NOT to mention.............nothing this guy has done has been fair, honest or ethical with respect to what has gone on with her sneaking over there twice with HIS knowledge!!!!  He knew darn good and well that her parents had no idea that she was coming to his country! 


He DOESN'T DESERVE to dictate ANYTHING with respect to what happens now!! 

November 25, 2007, 6:32 am CST

Completely Amazed....

Some of you guys are making this message board into a religion war.  Unbelievable!  What about Katherine???


I agree that her parents need to hold some sort of responsibility in this whole mess, but she is 18 now.  Hello, she is an adult.  She can do as she chooses now.  All her parents can do at this point is be supportive or Katherine can "write" them off.  (Either you accept me for who I am or I'm gone routine.)  There's nothing her parents can do about it now.


Why was her computer time not being monitored way back before this mess even got started??  I have a computer that accesses the internet, but I also have parental controls set up on it.  Plus, it's in a room that isn't private.  When the children are on the computer, I am, in a sense, monitoring everything they do.  There is NO myspace, no chat rooms, no chatting at all with anybody even if you don't have to type it in!!!  It is up to the parents to protect their children!!!  Not the other way around.


My oldest is almost 13.  She has been begging for a myspace for almost a year.  "All of her friends have one!"  The answer is always no.  Parental controls will not even allow her to access myspace.  I'm not stupid enough to believe that she isn't on there when she is over at a friend's house, but I do believe that she has the fear not to create her own account.  I understand the frustration of stating the reasons why she can't have one over and over, but that's the way it is.  She always comes back with the same reply, "I can make it private and I will only accept people as my friends that I know."  Yes, we all know how that works.  (Not going to happen.)  All of her 12 and 13 year old friends have their profiles set to say that they are 17.  That way, they don't have to have their profiles private!!!  (Obviously their parents aren't watching what's taking place!)  Look up the story of the girl that just committed suicide near St. Louis, MO all over a comment left on her myspace!!!!! 


The cell phone, c'mon lady!!!  These kids with cell phones that have free run with them drives me nuts!  It's just like a computer!  Watch what is going on with it!  Yes, we have one for the kids, but it is a Firefly!!!  WE program what numbers can be called and only allow it to accept calls from those numbers!  If you don't want to go that route, go to disney mobile.  You can do the same things with their phones and you can also track them on your computer because the phone has a GPS.  Some people don't want to pay the money...  What is your child's safety worth???  Our kids do not appreciate it, but they know that's how it is.  And yes, we hear all the time about all my friends have their own cell phones, they text, they take pictures.......... on and on and on.  Guess what?  We care more about their safety versus them looking cool. 


Let this be a warning to all parents, you have to stay on top of your kids.  Yes, you can trust them to a certain degree, but not with full reign.  They are not mentally mature enough to make adult decisions, so don't let them.  Do I think that my kids are going to turn out wonderful?  No, but I am doing everything in my power to protect them from something like this!  We talk and we talk a lot.  They know the reasons behind everything that we do and they know the punishment they will face if they break the rules.  That's how we run things in this house.


As far as Katherine, I truly hope that Dr. Phil can help.  What's happened has happened and she can only move on from here.  I hope that she makes the right choice because she has not matured mentally and we all know that it's easier to brainwash a child.  Good luck and I hope that she doesn't have any resentment against her parents for "allowing" this relationship to continue and "allowing" her to get into this mess.  No, they didn't "allow" it, but they didn't do anything to stop it either.

November 25, 2007, 7:35 am CST

Where was Katherine?

Dr. Phil said she was in Gaza.  Then later he said she was in Ramallah.  My son is a Commander in the Israeli Border Guard.  He lives in a Jewish settlement that is near Ramallah.  Ramallah is in the West Bank, while the Gaza Strip is not.  Either place is very dangerous.  According to my son, there are no peaceful Arabs; they are all terrorists.  Thank you, Dr. Phil, for providing her with an escort out of there. 
November 25, 2007, 2:53 pm CST

11/26 Katherine Returns

I don't know, something about this really stinks to me, I'm really having a hard time beliving that Kathrine is the innocent victim everyone is portraying.

1)What did she tell Abdullah's Father to cause him to take such a risk to get her out of the country ? He must've known it was illegal, and I'm NOT saying he was RIGHT to do it.

2)Why wouldn't her Mother CHECK with her friend's parents to find out about this trip to Canada ? Last time I checked my passport, Canada was still a Nation separate from the United States tell me who on this board allows their sixteen year old to leave the country WITHOUT checking the story and I'm damn sure they wouldn't be going on their own, if it wasn't going to be chaperoned by adults, then guess what, you're NOT going

3)Why weren't her parents checking up on some of his claims ? The House, money etc.

4)When she came home the first time why was she allowed to stay in contact, why didn't they get an unlisted number and have her into counselling right away ?

5)They went to see her off at the airport, but didn't go to meet her on her return ?

I admit to being skeptical, about the motivations here wait and see tommorrow, and yes I know there are things that are being left out, but I still wonder...

November 25, 2007, 4:31 pm CST

11/26 Katherine Returns

Quote From: dennis1952

Nothing that was said was untrue. I know many muslims also and what she said is true. Love is not a part of their culture, at least not as far as marriage is concerned. Even in family it isn't as strong as in the US. You won't see an American give his son an AK-47 and tell him to run out in the street shooting every American he sees until he is killed himself. In Islam women are just possessions and easily replaced for a few camels or a pack of cigarettes. I mean, give me a break, you don't really defend the actions of such a people do you?

Mate, If your land was being stolen and family being slaughterd, your community being torn apart, You would want to kill every dirty stinking isralie soldier who is taking part in this mass ethnic cleansing program the zionists have going on in PALESTINE! Its called SELF DEFFENCE!

As far as women's rights are in islam... You have no idea. Women are not just ppsessions. I should know.I am a muslim woman married to a PALESTINIAN man who threats me like a queen. Would never even look at another woman the wrong way, who would never question me as to where i have spent my money, Why? Cause in islam my money belongs to ME and he has no right to it, Also HIS money is his AND MINE so in actual fact he only has rights to a quater of the money.

He wont raise his voise at me, why?? Because in islam we should not get angry. The one who angers you controls you!..

I control the mood in the house, If im upset then the whole house is...

Women have such a big role to play, We have so many rights,

In islam we should love our mothers 3 times more than we love our fathers!

Not harming one’s wife.


This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife. 

There is nothing in any other religion, nation or law that can compare to the honour which woman gains in Islam. The Roman civilization decreed that woman was a slave who belonged to man, and had no rights at all. In Rome a major synod met to discuss the case of woman, and decided that she was a being who had no soul, and that therefore she would not inherit life in the Hereafter, and that she was evil.  

In Athens women were regarded as chattels; they were bought and sold, and were regarded as evil, the handiwork of the devil.  

The ancient laws of India state that disease, death, Hell, snake venom and fire were all better than woman. Her right to life came to an end when her husband’s – or master’s – life ended. When she saw his body burning she would throw herself into the flames; if she did not do so, she would be subject to curses.  

With regard to woman in Judaism, the ruling on her in the Old Testament is as follows:  

“So I turned my mind to understand, 

to investigate and to search out wisdom and the scheme of things 

and to understand the stupidity of wickedness  

and the madness of folly. 

I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, 

whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains…” 

(Ecclesiastes 7:25-26 – New International Version)  

It is known that the Old Testament is venerated and believed by both Jews and Christians.  

This was the situation of woman in ancient times. With regard to her situation in the Middle Ages and in modern times, this will be explained by the following:  

The Danish writer Wieth Kordsten explained the view of the Catholic Church towards women. He said: “During the Middle Ages very little care was given to women, following the teaching of the Catholic church which regarded woman as a second class creation.” In France, a council in 586 CE decided to research the case of woman and whether she was to be counted as human or not. After some discussion, they decided that woman was human, but she was created to serve man.  

The 217th clause of the French law states the following: “A married woman – even if her marriage is based on the condition of separating what belongs to her and what belongs to her husband – is not permitted to give anything as a gift or to transfer any of her property or use it as collateral, or to take possession of anything whether in return for payment or otherwise, without her husband being a party to the contract or agreeing to it in writing.”  

In England, Henry VIII forbade the English woman to read the Bible. Until 1850 CE women were not counted as citizens, and until 1882 CE they did not have any personal rights.  

(Silsilat Maqaarinah al-Adyaan, by Dr. Ahmad Shalaby, vol. 3, p. 210-213)  

As for contemporary woman in Europe, America and other industrial nations, she is a creature which is degraded and abused for commercial purposes. She is a feature of advertising campaigns, and things have reached a stage where she takes off her clothes in order to advertise products on posters, and she sells and displays her body according to systems devised by men, so that she is no more than an object of pleasure for them in every place.   

Woman is cared for so long as she is able to give and contribute physically or mentally. When she becomes old and cannot give any more, society – individuals and institutions – forsakes her and she lives alone in her house or in a mental hospital.  

Compare this – and there is no comparison – with the teachings of the Noble Qur’aan, in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  

“The believers, men and women, are Awliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another” 

[al-Tawbah 9:71]  

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” 

[al-Baqarah 2:228]  

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. 

And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” 

[al-Isra’ 17:23-24]  

Since her Lord has honoured her in this way, it is clear to all of mankind that He has created her to be a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister, so He prescribed laws which apply exclusively to women and not men.


By the way... 


Why does america like to be in people's faces all the time??.. 


America has killed more people than anyother country with your wars and supplying guns and god knows what to so many other countries in the world!. 


You wonder why people hate you!

November 25, 2007, 4:53 pm CST

11/26 Katherine Returns

Quote From: dennis1952

Nothing that was said was untrue. I know many muslims also and what she said is true. Love is not a part of their culture, at least not as far as marriage is concerned. Even in family it isn't as strong as in the US. You won't see an American give his son an AK-47 and tell him to run out in the street shooting every American he sees until he is killed himself. In Islam women are just possessions and easily replaced for a few camels or a pack of cigarettes. I mean, give me a break, you don't really defend the actions of such a people do you?
oh forgot to say.... You people sure make it easy to obtain guns and go on shooting spree's killing your calssmates...

This country needs to fix it's self before attacking others!...

Oh thats right, Your govt is more fixated on stealing oil than helping it's own people!

Grow up!
November 25, 2007, 7:00 pm CST

womens rights in islam

Following are some rights, which Muslim women have!

1. The RIGHT and duty to acquire education.

2. The RIGHT to have her own independent property.

3. The RIGHT to work [job or business] to earn money, which she keeps it.

4. The RIGHT to equal reward for equal deed and/or work.

5. The RIGHT to express her opinion.

6. The RIGHT to argue and/or advocate her cause or opinion to be heard.

7. The RIGHT to vote since 1,421 years.

8. The RIGHT to provisions from her husband for all her needs and more.

9. The RIGHT to negotiate marriage terms of her choice.

10.The RIGHT to obtain divorce from her husband, even on the grounds that she simply don't like him. In Islaam divorce is suppose to be last resort.

11.The RIGHT to keep all her own money. [She is not responsible for maintenance of family].

12.The RIGHT to get sexual satisfaction from her husband.

13.The RIGHT to get custody of her children in case of divorce [unless she is unable to raise them for valid reasons]

14.The RIGHT to choose husband of her choice.

15.The RIGHT to refuse a proposed and/or arranged marriage.

16. The RIGHT to re-marry after divorce or after becoming widow. 
November 25, 2007, 7:20 pm CST


Afer reading the messages it is very clear that the middle east has given itself a bad name world wide . Although I think the concern for Katherine would be as intense irregardless of where she went but the fact she went to a country actively at war made it that much worse.

Now Abdulah well if you look at his eyes it is written on his face he is an abuser.

And again the muslim community has given themselves a bad name in that area as well.

Katherine being young and immature in so many ways i think it is obvious she had no idea where she was going never mind the fact the are at war .

I do apologize to any muslim people who are not abusive as yes you have been labelled .

In every culture there are bad people . The difference here is that it isnt so publicly acceptable in other cultures like it is in the muslim community .

I think Katherine should that her lucky stars for prople like her mother and Dr Phil she may have become a statistic or one of those blonde girls who goes to that country then mysteriously disappears (I lost a good friend that way ).

Being alot of the muslim people who have hit this message board seem to think this is gaining up on them they are so wrong but it boils down to one thing . If you want people to have a better outlook on your culture then try to practice som common sense and treat others the way you want to be treated .

Maybe the world as a whole wont be so prejudice without reason.


November 25, 2007, 7:39 pm CST

so where is she now??????

I am a little confused she still here in America and is she with her family or not?  If she is not with the family that has caused all this commotion then my next question is why?  She obviously ran to this man because she feels a false sense of protection and love.  So what is her family going to do now if she is still here?  Tie her to her bed, keep her locked up....she is an adult and unless she has had a change of heart she is headed back to the Middle East....there she has a sense of protection which in her eyes seems to mean true love.  I would like someone to update me on this when they get the chance....thanks.



November 25, 2007, 11:19 pm CST

Dangers of Internet Chatting

Quote From: terrylee_1949

Dr. Phil,


    I think it is plain that Abdullah, his father and family were involved in beating a U.S. Citizen...  My question is why does our Government knowing this would ever allow Abdullah and/or his father back into this Country.  They should now be put on the list and never be allowed back into the United States again.

Dear Dr. Phul,

Warnings of the dangers of  the use of Internet are all over.  She is a young woman not a child anymore.  She's strong-willed smart woman who was able to go accross the world to a war zone country to meet this "stranger" against her family's will.  Are her actions excuseable because she is American?  She's a slick person who takes great risks.  She is also disrepectful to her mother.  She found her match in Palestine.


Statistics show that the numbers of  domestic violence in American soil is a staggering high number.  At least three women die everyday from the hands of the spouse or partner.  We certainly cann't charge these high numbers of domestic violence the the Abdillahs.


I am not defending AbDillah.  He spoke for himself...he came accross as one detestable young man of poor breeding.  He probably disrespects his own parents.  This young couple is a perfect match for each other.


 Although we parents can not predict nor control our children's every single move but apparetly there was something wrong in the young womans household since the very beginning of the relationship. The mother should at least take some responsibility of this twisted drama and not blame the young man for their fears.  Her daughter could have met a psycho made in U.S.A.


First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last