April 7, 2008, 11:01 pm CDT
it's not about money
Here is my story. My mom is 89 and failing. She always told us that everything will be divided four ways amongst her four children. My brother moved back into the house thirty years ago, and since then has never worked, contributed, shopped, cooked, cleaned or anything. Yet she has given him the house, it's entire contents, my father's (whom my brother despised) important collection. He has gotten his name on every checkbook, piece of property, as executor, and every other area. When I try to go over and clean for her, she says no. The house is filthy, and he won't even make her a cup of tea. He waits for her to cook him dinner.
What my sister and I are upset about is that he has taken and hidden every family album, piece of memorabilia, scrapbook, family document. Anything that we felt sentimental about, including my mother's wedding dress and my parent's military uniforms and medals. These are not just his things, they should belong to all the children.
My mother has let him get away with this our whole lives, so apparently she doesn't care about our feelings either. My great-aunt left me a special ring from her sister, my grandmother. My mother took it off my finger at the funeral. And yet she is complaining that we don't get along.
It has nothing to do with money. It is about respecting the feelings of all persons involved. It is about the control issues and greed of one person, and the blind favoritism of the parent. Money is nothing, but feelings of respect and love and inclusion are quite a lot.
As far as the women on the show, Linda is nothing more than a dishonest bully, overtalking, interrupting, and staying under the radar of accessing her aunt's accounts. She got that elderly woman into her redone house (which Aunt Virginia paid for) and went to work on her. FInding her a lawyer, indeed! She found her way around everything to get the lion's share.
Barbara is being pilloried because she is the one who clearly believes in honesty and justice. If she were as corrupt as Linda, she would have taken the windfall and been quiet. Instead she chooses to stand up for what is right, and that's commendable. That clears her right there of the charge of greed.
When Dr. Phil got to that point, where he said, "you ended up with more" and she said, "it's about what's right", when the bully butted it to dilute that point, Dr. Phil should have stopped her.
It's all about money and control for Linda. It's about justice and fairness for the other three, and as usual in this world, they lose. Sometimes a relationship with a sister is not worth more than anything, like your self-respect and integrity.
|