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Topic : 03/19 A Model's Dangerous Marriage

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:55:30 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/31/07) It was the picture–perfect wedding -- a model marrying the handsome man she says treated her like gold. But after a few years of marriage, Kevin and Heather are in a dangerous relationship. They constantly yell, scream and fight, and their home life has gotten so bad that Heather says Kevin has picked her up by the throat, thrown her to the ground, held her at knifepoint and even taught their 3-year-old daughter to call her the C-word. You won't believe where their daughter ends up during the chaos! Kevin says Heather is the one who gets in his face, and she needs to stop being so controlling. He claims he's a changed man, but should she trust his behavior now? The Dr. Phil show installed cameras in their home. Why does Dr. Phil say the footage caught on tape is frightening? And, their moms weigh in on the situation. Should Heather spend another night under the same roof as Kevin? Her uncle offers her a safe place to rest, but will she take him up on the offer, or return home with the man she says could kill her or her daughter? Join the discussion.

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December 11, 2008, 9:25 pm CST

We must learn to listen to save lives of women and children

If you listen, people cry out for help years before things happen.


Girl told CPS of abuse 2 years before stepdad's rampage, documents show By Marjie Lundstrom and Sam Stanton //$(document).ready(function(){ // $("#bug").dialog("autoOpen","false"); //}); Published: Thursday, Dec. 11, 2008 | Page 11A

The 14-year-old girl who survived the slaying of her mother and siblings by her stepfather Dec. 1 had reported him to authorities two years earlier for allegedly beating her with a stick, forcing her to go without food, shaving her head and making her sleep in the garage without blankets, documents from Sacramento County's Child Protective Services show.

CPS briefly took the children out of the home in September 2006. Yet it determined that the then-12-year-old's claims were "unfounded" and returned the children to the south Sacramento home of her stepfather, Ying "Chris" Moua, and her mother, Bouavanh "Kim" Moua, internal documents released to The Bee Wednesday indicate.

Sacramento sheriff's officials say Ying Moua, 33, went on a rampage Dec. 1 and killed his wife and the couple's 2-year-old twins, and seriously injured their 3-year-old daughter, before he shot himself.

The 14-year-old was not harmed because CPS had placed her in protective custody on Nov. 21, after a teacher at her school discovered a journal she had kept for more than a year that described her stepfather's abuse of her. Another sibling, an 8-year-old boy, also escaped harm because he had been living in a different home at the time.

The deaths raise new questions about CPS' decision to leave the three siblings in the home after the teenager reported her abuse allegations last month, and for its failure to even go to the home to investigate. Instead, the agency asked sheriff's deputies to inspect the home on Nov. 22, and no further action was taken.

"I don't know how many more little coffins the people of Sacramento County have to see before the Board of Supervisors, who run this program, start taking personal responsibility for the number and nature of these crimes," said Ed Howard of Sacramento, senior counsel for the Children's Advocacy Institute.

"The accumulated weight of these deaths indicates a deeply rooted, systemic problem" that transcends individual social workers, Howard said.

A CPS spokeswoman reiterated Wednesday that the agency cannot comment beyond the required release of the documents because of confidentiality laws.

With a few exceptions, the Board of Supervisors has been largely silent about the string of deaths. In August, they signed off on a $100,000 review of CPS' policies and procedures. That audit is under way.

Supervisor Roger Dickinson said the board has been, and continues to be, deeply involved in CPS issues. "I don't think there's been any lack of attention or concern," he said.

CPS has been under scrutiny for much of this year following a series of deaths of children whose families were known to the agency. A Bee investigation published in June found that the agency still was troubled, despite large funding increases that followed the 1996 death of 3-year-old Adrian Conway.

The agency also is the subject of a county grand jury investigation that was sparked by The Bee's revelation that documents in the death of one child this year had been altered. But recalcitrance inside the agency apparently was so great the grand jury took the unusual step of warning all CPS workers and management in October that they must cooperate with the probe, which is ongoing.

The documents released Wednesday indicate that CPS was told about three weeks ago about violence in the home, as detailed by the 14-year-old in new abuse claims. Portions of the documents were redacted, but it is clear the girl reported one member of the family "has been thrown onto a wall" by the stepfather.

That document, an emergency response sheet that indicates it was compiled the afternoon the girl lodged her allegations, also states that "mom is being hit by the stepfather" and "the stepfather is reported to have anger issues."

It notes that "(m)om knows about the abuse and has not interceded," and lists allegations against the stepfather as including "emotional abuse, general neglect, physical abuse." The document also indicates that CPS was aware of the September 2006 abuse report but states those earlier accusations were "unfounded."

June 26, 2009, 11:31 pm CDT

Of Course!!

Quote From: yahssis

As usual, I found myself becoming a bit perturbed with my favorite tv advisor Dr Phil.


First of all, the lady clearly showed signs of being narcissistic, even while Dr Phil was questioning her.  One of the typical things narcissists do, is continue to justify their actions and project their own behaviors onto others, so that they dont' have to admit to doing wrong or being bad.  A narcissist must uphold a false image of being "all that" or else their vain world falls apart or feels like it will.  I know this from time spent with one such person not long ago in a minstry relationship, believe it or not.


Secondly, I BELIEVE that man IS indeed saved.  Did anyone notice that he was very calm, admitted to what he was being accused of, and did not raise up in anger toward Dr Phil.  Am I saying he should do the things he did or threaten that lady?  No way, but I do know that narcissists can PROVOKE you and not allow you to "save face," in situations.  They will often follow you around, screaming at you, blaming you, trying to GUILT you from everything you've ever done to them.  Just VICIOUS to live with!


Thirdly, as far as the people having the child present during the yelling...that is pretty COMMON, Dr Phil.  The child in a tiny apt is going to be on the mother's hip or on the chair or playing nearby.  That is pretty logical to me...where else will you put a 3 yr old when an argument breaks out?  I mean, I think it's a bit unreasonable to think that people "plan" these battles and remove the child before they start...Again, I have lived it so I know.


Now, all of the people involved, including the child NEED THERAPY!  There IS a way to ward off a verbal abuser, in the way you respond vs react to them and what part of the message you respond to.  I am learning this with some people as well.  It's all in COMMUNICATION.


If this man, however OR the woman (cause women abuse too), are hitting, choking, threatening...then SEPARATE, GET HELP, and, after you are able to talk without hurting each other, then decide to get back together.


That's my advice.


Pastor Laura

All you 'born agains' have to stick together because you know the light bulb is coming on, sensible people are waking up to the fact that using religion is an excuse for carrying out any crime you like and getting away with it.
As far as this abuser is concerned, you only have to listen to his mother - she was making excuses for him and accusing the wife of needing 'help'. Her son is the one who needs locking up, and the mother is the cause of it. Mummy's boys invariably are control freaks, this one was threatening to pimp his own daughter for pity's sake wake up and smell the coffee

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