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Topic : Workplace Bullies

Number of Replies: 245
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:25:23 am
Author : dataimport
Bullying is not just a schoolyard pastime anymore, it has spread to the workplace as well. Share your stories, support and advice with others dealing with a bully at work.

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November 28, 2005, 4:18 am CST

And it happens everywhere.......

My husband is in the army- 1sg, with tours in Vietnam, Nicaragua, Panama, the Gulf War and extensive work with the DEA in Maryland. He has been full time for 18 years, part time for over 20 with the Army National Guard. Over this time, he has received accolades for his work, for getting soldiers through college, training programs, and the like. He has had 18 years of positive reports on his work, character and attitude. He has gone through schools, has 8 MOS's and filled emergency positions for others- Now, at 56, he is getting ready to retire and receive his pension and benefits, as I believe he deserves. Suddenly, this new Colonel arrives and decides that my husband isn't doing his job, and is lazy despite the excellent review just given to him by the USR board and his former Commander. He has filed to have him fired. BAM! Why? Because this Colonel had explosives stored at camp right next to the barracks where the enlisted men slept, and my husband raised a stink about it, forced the issue and got higher ups involved to have the explosives removed so that his soldiers wouldn't blow up in the middle of the night. Since then, the Colonel has done a number of things to get my husband to resign- which he wouldn't do because he loves the army- and now this, after 18 years. And, the sad thing is, we have found out that he has no rights in the AGR segment of the  Army National Guard. This has really defeated my husband, we have hired a lawyer and are fighting it, but in the best situation, he will be transferred even farther from home than he is now.(In the worst situation, he loses his pension, his medical benefits and his job)  I know that only good things happen to us, and that this is just a test and challenge, but its still disconcerting. SO, yes, bullies are everywhere.......even in the Army!!!! 
November 28, 2005, 7:57 am CST


Quote From: kb7retired

But that doesn't work when the person is sleeping with the higher boss.  No matter what I did I was not going to get anywhere.  In the long run I did win, because I got to retire.  She thought she won over me, but I am the happy one.  She is still having to go to work every day and has a new boss!  But she is working and coning her way with this person, as I have been told.  My thing is, what goes around comes around and sooner or later it will catch up to her.   


Thanks!  I would have gone that route too.  Glad I didn't have to. 

I retired too. I have a very basic, deep belief system. I found myself so out of sinc with it that I needed some time off. I absolutely have found happiness - being retired. Now if I can just figure out how to manage it financially at age 57. Any ideas? Thanx for your response.
November 28, 2005, 12:37 pm CST

Micro Manager

I am an admin assistant for a financial services company. My manager is considered a micro manager. She will stand next to your desk and listen to your conversations. I was talking to one of my co-workers about some work related issues when out of nowhere my manager butts into our conversation and says "You're not allowed to do that". But right after she scornes us she goes behind us and does what she just told us not to do. 


We receive these emails stating we need to be sure that we are in work and working at our desks at 8 am not arriving to work at 8 am. Of course she comes and goes as she pleases.  


She also uses company time to go shopping, out of the office, for her grandson. She will go food shopping during company hours. She goes to the store for random shopping. She spends 2 hours a day on the phone with her best friend, who happens to be the manager in our other office, talking about the staff. All this from the woman who gave me hell for receiving personal calls at work. She has the gull to talk about anyone.  


I could go on and on for ever about the stupid and crazy things we  have to put up with here. 

November 28, 2005, 1:40 pm CST

Workplace Bullies

I was surprised to experience that working for the school district people would not understand and not care of what I was going through.  I worked for the school district for 7 years and finally lost my job due to some people that made up stories and couldn't back them up.  Here is my story.   My first year working for the district I exceeded my evaluation on performance.  According to the principals I got to work with, they seemed  very satisfied with my quality of work and the way I carried myself with the latino parents when they came into the office.  On my 5 year of working I had a grand-mal seizure at home.   Doctors said it was probably cause by stress.  All I could think of was that I had taken quite of bit infertilit y medication for the past 3 year and it had all failled.   With that seizure I had some decision to make due to the effects of the phenobarbithol medication and my liscense being revoke.   I had to put for a transfer to a closer school near where my husband teaches.  I couldn't  have been called from a better school to interview.  It was a closer school and the principal happen to be my husband former elementary school teacher.  Well to make the story shorter, the secretary started complaining about my job performance, the way I dressed, and even made sexual coments about me.  I learned this because she complained to a man that happened to my brother.  When I went to tell the principal she didn't believe me and she took out from under a big pile of papers an evaluation form that every on there said I didn't meet standards.  I didn't know what to make out of it since I had been only working there less than a month.  After that I was evaluation weekly by principal, vice principal, secretary and counselor.  I began to worry and put in for a transfer which they actually um wouldn't let me leave.  I started asking notes from my doctor to explain that what side effects phenobarbithol had and I would give them to the my principal and union (which I had been paying union dues since I had been hired).  Litttle did I know that the my union representative was my principals husbands personal secretary and he was in charge of the especial ed. department.  I think she had her back covered.  I even began having small seizure in the office and asking for help, no one would come to help.  I would somehow get up and walk to the nurses restroom and grab a pillow and lay on the floor.  I did not have any one help me.  It was humiliating.  When they saw that was happening, the principal stopped evaluating and hit me with something else.  I was being accused of having an affair and pornography.  They were sending my husband letters on district mail and home of letters they found on my e-mail.  All the letters I had on my e-mail, I had accumulated throughout the years of working and they were being sent from people that worked in the district also and about the affair they were accusing me, well, they were making that story up also.  Anyway, I finally had a meeting the principal and human resources (my husband was there and so was the union rep.) I had to either retired or they would fired me.  I Retired!  My nightmare doesn't end there.  I had car payments with my husband paycheck we were not meeting our monthly payments.  I applied for unemployment and guess what?  The district lawyers tood my in front of a unemployment judge and didn't allow me to receive a penny of what I had earned.  I was so very depressed, I couldn't lift my eyes or get out of bed.  They shattered me in everyway they could.  Six years have passed by and I haven't worked, I'm afraid to get out there.  I found out that in the workplace there could be very nice people and UGLY PEOPLE.   

December 1, 2005, 11:46 am CST

Principal Bullies

Quote From: onthefarm

Principals can be the worst of workplace bullies because often no one knows what they are doing other than the people they are doing it to--who have to go through a grievance committee and follow the chain of command and otherwise put themselves way out there to voice any disention....then end up being black-balled and not able to get a job teaching anywhere. My building principal is new and not sure of himself, so he makes his way easier by trying to shut down every older, more experienced person on the staff. He writes us up for crazy things like "negative attitude" when we question some new thing he wants to do, and turns the newer staff members against us by telling them that we have old-fashioned, stagnant ideas. The superintendent isn't about to NOT defend his principal, the other teachers aren't going to risk their jobs to stand behind you, and the school board's only input will come from the basically you're screwed. If you're old, you earn too much for any other district to want to hire you, so you're pretty much stuck where you are for as long as you can stand being treated like a useless, brainless, hasbeen. I've been in the education business nearly 4 times as long as this principal has been, and all of my years were in elementary--while only this past year as principal has he been in an elementary school. He doesn't understand the psychology of the elementary school child, the curriculum necessities and demands. He wants to run it like a secondary school---and anything said to the contrary about how it might have a negative effect on the students--is worthy of a massive put-down and the old teacher is lableled as "having taught too many years from her laminated lesson plans"...ARGHGHGHGH! I wish there was a way that older teachers could be respected and that new principals would have to have served in the classroom for at least a few years at the level the principal is overseeing. OK I vented. Feel better. But why is it that we allow our older, more knowledgeable, more experienced people so little respect in favor of a young one who just finished 3 years undergrad and 2 years graduate school and served 2 years as a SR high coach? THis happens over and over and over....and it was just not ever right....and now it's happening to me, too!


You have to remember that these youngs folks are "wet behind the ears."  I am a teacher as well and I take a much different attitude with the teachers that have a lot of experience.  I speak to them often and ask for advice.   Generally, principals do not ask for help from teachers.  In my experience, it's quite the opposite most of the time.  As for running the school, have your principal show you the research on what he's trying to change.  I have noticed that my principal doesn't do her homework.  He's making a choice to not listen to his teachers/staff.  He would rather put you down than deal with the issue. 


In my district, we have a strong union that helps us with this type of issue.  That is certainly worth a try.  Also, don't sell yourself short.  If you think that you can't deal with this person, then you won't.  If you want the principal to listen, then make him listen!  You can talk with him, leave him a note, write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper etc.  New ideas are not always better ideas. 


I'm sure your lesson plans are not laminated...who would spend the time on that anyway?  We have more important things to do like grade papers!!!  Don't spend time thinking about how other people label you.  What you think of yourself is much more important. 


I have had a similiar experience with my principal.  She is up to no good most of the time.  She likes to spend time going through my personal items after school hours and she takes what she likes.  If I confront her, she always blames someone else.  I have learned...the hard lock up my personal belongingings every day.  She has a way of making office referrals disappear.  If I ask about it, then she pleads ignorance.  She is completely irresponsible.  Our school calendar is a complete mess.  She is unable to set a date and keep it.  Our staff meetings are rescheduled three or four times.  If I ask about it, she blames someone else.  Interestingly, my principal has in 30 years now.   


I have learned to not take my job so seriously and to laugh off a lot of things.  I cannot change my principal, but I can change the way I respond to things that happen at work.  So can you! 

December 1, 2005, 4:02 pm CST

So there are more out there being bullied

I am surprised to see how many adults have issues with being bullied especially in their work place.  

I live in a very small town and for the most part am very happy here. My husband and I work for the same employer and we have both found that we have been bullied by our superiors.  

I have endured, menacing phrases, slammed doors, scowls, silent treatments, assumtions, accusations, and been the brunt of nasty gossip. I even ducked once thinking my superior was going to hit me. My husband has endured menacing phrases about me, scowls, silent treatments, finger shaking in face with raised voice, and no raise for 3 years.  We can't just quit and find another job, as there are none here, and the money we make enables us to send our kids to college, and schooling outside this town. We both volunteer our time generously, and are part of some vital organizations here. We aren't intrusive or overbearing. We follow the chain of command. We give our jobs and our volunteer work 100 % whole heartedly. So what are we doing wrong? We have considered moving but we have invested much here and would find it hard to pack up and start fresh elsewhere. This is supposed to be the place we retire. We are finding the only bullies that affect us are our supervisors. I think that someone should be able to see that some people aren't meant to have power. Is there a test that can be used?  

I am saddened to hear how many stories there are out there,  and so many that are being untold.  

December 7, 2005, 9:51 am CST

Don't get no respect!

At my workplace there seems to be several people with bad attitudes and pretty forward personalities.  I guess you could say they are bullies.  They are very manipulative, mainly negative people who will refuse to do certain jobs for any certain reason.  They question the people in authority and challenge anyone who stands up to them.  I think nowadays people just have no respect for others.  If everyone had more respect for others the 'me first', road rage, and "in your face" attitudes would be virtually gone.
December 7, 2005, 4:00 pm CST

Even on campuses...

I, too, have had bullies in my workplaces. The most recent is in my current work environment. I recently moved to a new location on campus but stayed in the same job position -- the previous location, I had been there for close to 10 years. So, I'm not some "new kid" to the campus or to the job... just the specific location.Well, this woman who I would call a bully has corrected me or caused arguments with me -- all in front of audiences. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to be corrected, of course...but not in front of patrons and co-workers. It started off small and simple but there was a big blowup that resorted in me storming out (at the end of my shift) and one of my co-workers informing our boss about what happened. When I came in the next day, I was reassured by /everyone/ that I had done nothing wrong and that I shouldn't spend any energy on worrying about it.The woman in question approached me (she had apparently been spoken to by my boss) and gave a half-a**ed apology, saying that I shouldn't take it personally... that she gets 'worked up' about things and goes off but doesn't mean anything by it.When my boss approached me later, she asked if everything was okay. I said that it was for the time being, but that I wouldn't put up with this in the future and that I don't appreciate being embarassed in front of others like that.I have sworn that if she does do this to me again, I will at least have the decency to pull her into the office and close the door before I take a strip off her hide. ;)I refuse to put up with workplace bullies. In my last place of employment (prior to working on campus), an assistant manager reduced me to a sobbing puddle because she belittled me constantly, 'bit off my head' and yelled at me over being 'too cheerful', all in front of customers. I reported her to the supervisor and after the three of us sat down to talk about it, she was demoted from assistant manager to 'full time staff' within 2 weeks.We don't have to put up with it. We didn't when we were at school and we don't now.
December 7, 2005, 7:45 pm CST

My Boss is the worst bully I've ever seen

I've worked in a variety of environments with some of the worst people, including Pententiaries.  But this place takes the cake.  The Director of this facility, having more thatn 800 employees, thinks nothing of yelling, swearing, screaming, name calling, and belittling any one of the 800 employees at will in public.  I am amazed that he has been the Director for three years now, and continues to schmooze the powers that be.  Formal complaints have been lodged, human rights has been called, and still he has his 6 figure job!!   


I have never heard a so called professional business man get away with what he pulls.  I don't know what a person has to do to be protected from bullies especially when the biggest bully is the man in charge.   



December 13, 2005, 3:35 pm CST

A dealership who got rid of a disabled person



        I worked for a dealership named Cove Motoring for 6 years, until being diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension.  At first they told me they were going to give me some help.  His name was Gino, after about a month of fixing his mistakes I tried to explain he was not helping.  Their answer was we can not watch you do this to yourself, trying to stay here and work when you are so sick.  We are going to have you work part time.  Translation : The CEO (Rodney) his wife and Gino's wife were good friends.  So I was put on part time after a year they informed me they could not afford to keep me Gino would be doing my job.  Oh but don't worry we will still pay your insurance we know how much you need it. Then I went in to have a prescription filled and found out I had no insurance.  When I contacted board of labor relations I was informed time had expired to file a complaint. So I guess if you do it slowly you can fire a person because of their disability.  So I am doing the only thing I can think of on every message board I can find I am posting this message in the hopes that if you are looking to buy a car it will not be from Cove Motoring in Costa Mesa Ca. 

Thank you 


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