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Topic : Stress at Work

Number of Replies: 237
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:24:47 am
Author : dataimport
How do you manage stress in the workplace? How do you leave the office at the office and manage a stress-free home life? Join us to share strategies.

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April 26, 2006, 4:09 pm CDT

ON my lunch hour I hit the gym

usually works for me - especially the weight lifting
 
April 27, 2006, 12:17 pm CDT

Stress at Work

Quote From: lucky35

Hi, I work at a large fashion retailer in the mall. I've been there for 6 months and I go to grad school at night. I am only a part-time worker. The problem is this, there are a lot of regular shoppers at this store and they think they are so much better than everybody else. Lately, they have been complaining about me to management. These women think they control the town with their demands. For example, one of these women stopped a manager at the book store in the mall and asked them who I was and how long I had been working there, because she just didn't think "my heart was in it". Can you believe this?! I think these regular shoppers just feel like they can control who works at this store and who doesn't, just because they frequently shop and buy clothes there. I am so sick of these bitc*es I don't know what to do! They are basically trying to get me fired, but I'm not worried about it. My question is: How do you handle local town bitch#* like these women and how can I deal with them in the store in a way which will not get me in trouble but get my revenge?!!

Why don't you prove them wrong? Be the very best, most efficient, most service-oriented sales person in the store.  Ensure that the bitc*es get great service but be too-good-to-be-true with all of the other customers too.  Make the bitc*es embarrassed that they talked you down. 

  

I am a really busy mother and business woman and I need to be put together all the time-right down to shoes and jewelry.  I live in a small town and whenever I get to go to the city shopping, I need to be really efficient.  There are a few saleswomen who have been just marvelous to me-finding the coordinating looks for me that I am hopeless at. I don't expect that kind of service but I truly appreciate it when I get it and I make sure the store management knows how good these women are.  I would follow those women to whatever store they worked and I always tip them.  

 
May 18, 2006, 9:20 am CDT

Hanging by a thread

I'm not real sure which board to write on first today. I have tried so many times to write and I then I feel like it is so hard for me to write what I am feeling most of the time that I exit out and try to move forward the best that I can. There are so many years worth of stuff that I feel overwhelmed right now.   

   

Two months ago my husband was told he will no longer have a job. He has worked in the same place for 28 1/2 years. Just within reach of retirement. He has worked 12 to 15 hours a day which I know was going to literally kill him. It was killing our marriage and family as it was. He was on salary so he wasn't making money for working late. We have five kids, and I had been fortunate to have stayed home with them.  I worked for my dad when we were first married and had two kids.  

   

It is almost a relief that this job it is over in many ways. He worked so hard and was so dedicated.  What really hurts is the way it has taken place. We realize now, that he was set up for about two years at least. Anyone who has heard about him being gone from his job has commented that they have heard the same thing. That he was set up.  

   

He has had a contract since 1979 when be began working in this place. He began as a mechanic and school bus driver. After a short time he became head mechanic. After about 8 years of that he was offered a supervisors position with the school.  As he took on the supervisors job, there was no replacement for the head mechanic position so he was still expected to over see all of the mechanics. Things were stressfull at times but managable.  He has a boss who is more concerned with how things look than how they work. This man cares for himself and no one else. He cares about how "he" looks to others. He has taken on so much credit for things that my my husband has done that it is crazy.  

   

Two years ago my husbands boss ran another man out. He was on him constantly until the guy just could not take it anymore and he resigned. Well, that mans position was put in my husbands lap. Of course, there was no extra pay for doing the job of three people which added grounds crew also. He was told that if he didn't take it on then he could find work elsewhere. Well, my husband gave it a shot. He has worked through being short of help, with already 100 people under him. He was told by his boss that he could only give one hour a day to his drivers and others under him. So, in other words, if there was problems with kids on a bus so that he had to deal with tapes on the bus and then talk with the driver, the principle, and the parents, I guess he wasn't suppose to do that because paper work is more important to his boss. My husband has implimented saftey things for drivers which has now been used all over. He has saved the school thousands of dollars in being cafeful how money in his department is spent. He has done all of the bus routing for hundreds of miles that the busses run. So many more things that I can't even fit it all in here.  

   

His boss had talked to him two years ago about my husband taking on his job when he retires. He felt that since my husband knows how to do the things his boss is doing and has so much knowledge of the district that he could take it on with no problem. Well, it was shortly after letting him believe that he would be trained to do his bosses job some day that his boss desided to start playing dirty and we don't understand why.   

   

My husband has been short mechanics, office staff etc. while trying to fill in for his boss because he had hip replacement last year. He had a dispatcher gone for most of last year because he son was dieing of cancer. My husband took 4 days off from the whole year and is still critisized. The school is trying to say that my husband has no contract. He has always had a contract that covers two years. On a successfull evaluation he gets another year. Well, his boss had not given him an evaluation on time according to his contract and so he has hand changed dates on them to make them fit. He has put white out on a date that my husband signed an evaluation and changed it to match his.   

   

He has critisized my husband for not doing evaluations on over 100 people on his (the bosses) time table. Now keep in mind that his boss has only two evaluations to do and he hasn't managed to get his done on time but he is allowed to change dates on things. His boss has an office in the main administrative building and one in my husbands building. Of course, he doens't use the office in the builiding he is critisizing so much of.    

   

My husband has been critisized on his evaluation for not wearing a tie to meetings. He has board approved uniforms but that is not good enough for his boss. He has been critisized for the mechanics not keeping the shop clean.   

   

I wish I could list all of the duties my husband has had to do and now they think they can just say, see ya.   

   

We are at wits end.To top it off, our oldest child is getting married in four weeks. Our lawyers bills costs more than the wedding.   

   

The day my husband was told he is on administrative leave they let him spend literally hours cleaning out his office. His boss came in and said  you don't have to do it all today. He had him put his cell phone in his desk and he told him that he will get it when he comes back. Well, some time passed and my husbands dispatcher was in the hospital and he had some of our 5 kids pictures to get from his office, so he stopped in to see how his dispatcher was doing and picked up personal things. Well, the following Monday he got a call from human resource "person" and was told that he was not suppose to be on the property. No one had told him this before.   

   

Now along with this happening they had finally decided to hire another mechanic in the garage like my husband had been asking for. My husband was told that they would not feel bad at all if he applied. Two days later he is told that he can not even apply because he was on school grounds! My husband is the only licensed mechanic there but I guess that doesn't matter. The school has several old busses. They had bus inspections done out of the blue because my husbands boss knew my husband was out of the state and because he also knew that my husband was trying to discipline a mechanic because he doens't like to show up for work or when he does come he doesn't want to work.  My husband kept asking for support but was not given any.   

   

We have always been pretty simple people who have tried to do to others as we would want them to do to us. I guess that is a big reason that we just can't figure this out. My husband is being treated like a criminal.   

   

Now, four years ago we went to the superintendent with concern about a girls softball coach who had a habit of verbally yelling at his team. We have four girls so we had several years of experience. We had written a letter to the Athletic Director in 1996 but nothing was acknowledged. the coach still coached. Of course, our Athletic Director had told my husband some years ago that girls should be cheer leaders nothing else. Our last daughter was ready for Varsity and we still had serious concerns. We took it to the superintendant. Nothing was done. So, if someone can answer why a man who was fired from coaching boys baseball because he had little knowledge of the game, was given girls softball and then is verbally abusive and can still coach, yet my husband worked his behind off and was dedicated is losing his job and is not finished. Well, we just don't understand what is happening.   

   

We want to fight for his retirement and his second year of his contract and they don't want to do that much. I am scared. I don't know how we are going to pay the bills. Faith is the only thing holding things together.  

   

There are so many more things that have taken place and I am overwhelmed right now. The is so many things that are uncertain and up in the air.  

   

Thanks for letting me vent.  

CJ  

 
May 18, 2006, 12:16 pm CDT

I'm not positive about this, but

Quote From: jtb133

I'm not real sure which board to write on first today. I have tried so many times to write and I then I feel like it is so hard for me to write what I am feeling most of the time that I exit out and try to move forward the best that I can. There are so many years worth of stuff that I feel overwhelmed right now.   

   

Two months ago my husband was told he will no longer have a job. He has worked in the same place for 28 1/2 years. Just within reach of retirement. He has worked 12 to 15 hours a day which I know was going to literally kill him. It was killing our marriage and family as it was. He was on salary so he wasn't making money for working late. We have five kids, and I had been fortunate to have stayed home with them.  I worked for my dad when we were first married and had two kids.  

   

It is almost a relief that this job it is over in many ways. He worked so hard and was so dedicated.  What really hurts is the way it has taken place. We realize now, that he was set up for about two years at least. Anyone who has heard about him being gone from his job has commented that they have heard the same thing. That he was set up.  

   

He has had a contract since 1979 when be began working in this place. He began as a mechanic and school bus driver. After a short time he became head mechanic. After about 8 years of that he was offered a supervisors position with the school.  As he took on the supervisors job, there was no replacement for the head mechanic position so he was still expected to over see all of the mechanics. Things were stressfull at times but managable.  He has a boss who is more concerned with how things look than how they work. This man cares for himself and no one else. He cares about how "he" looks to others. He has taken on so much credit for things that my my husband has done that it is crazy.  

   

Two years ago my husbands boss ran another man out. He was on him constantly until the guy just could not take it anymore and he resigned. Well, that mans position was put in my husbands lap. Of course, there was no extra pay for doing the job of three people which added grounds crew also. He was told that if he didn't take it on then he could find work elsewhere. Well, my husband gave it a shot. He has worked through being short of help, with already 100 people under him. He was told by his boss that he could only give one hour a day to his drivers and others under him. So, in other words, if there was problems with kids on a bus so that he had to deal with tapes on the bus and then talk with the driver, the principle, and the parents, I guess he wasn't suppose to do that because paper work is more important to his boss. My husband has implimented saftey things for drivers which has now been used all over. He has saved the school thousands of dollars in being cafeful how money in his department is spent. He has done all of the bus routing for hundreds of miles that the busses run. So many more things that I can't even fit it all in here.  

   

His boss had talked to him two years ago about my husband taking on his job when he retires. He felt that since my husband knows how to do the things his boss is doing and has so much knowledge of the district that he could take it on with no problem. Well, it was shortly after letting him believe that he would be trained to do his bosses job some day that his boss desided to start playing dirty and we don't understand why.   

   

My husband has been short mechanics, office staff etc. while trying to fill in for his boss because he had hip replacement last year. He had a dispatcher gone for most of last year because he son was dieing of cancer. My husband took 4 days off from the whole year and is still critisized. The school is trying to say that my husband has no contract. He has always had a contract that covers two years. On a successfull evaluation he gets another year. Well, his boss had not given him an evaluation on time according to his contract and so he has hand changed dates on them to make them fit. He has put white out on a date that my husband signed an evaluation and changed it to match his.   

   

He has critisized my husband for not doing evaluations on over 100 people on his (the bosses) time table. Now keep in mind that his boss has only two evaluations to do and he hasn't managed to get his done on time but he is allowed to change dates on things. His boss has an office in the main administrative building and one in my husbands building. Of course, he doens't use the office in the builiding he is critisizing so much of.    

   

My husband has been critisized on his evaluation for not wearing a tie to meetings. He has board approved uniforms but that is not good enough for his boss. He has been critisized for the mechanics not keeping the shop clean.   

   

I wish I could list all of the duties my husband has had to do and now they think they can just say, see ya.   

   

We are at wits end.To top it off, our oldest child is getting married in four weeks. Our lawyers bills costs more than the wedding.   

   

The day my husband was told he is on administrative leave they let him spend literally hours cleaning out his office. His boss came in and said  you don't have to do it all today. He had him put his cell phone in his desk and he told him that he will get it when he comes back. Well, some time passed and my husbands dispatcher was in the hospital and he had some of our 5 kids pictures to get from his office, so he stopped in to see how his dispatcher was doing and picked up personal things. Well, the following Monday he got a call from human resource "person" and was told that he was not suppose to be on the property. No one had told him this before.   

   

Now along with this happening they had finally decided to hire another mechanic in the garage like my husband had been asking for. My husband was told that they would not feel bad at all if he applied. Two days later he is told that he can not even apply because he was on school grounds! My husband is the only licensed mechanic there but I guess that doesn't matter. The school has several old busses. They had bus inspections done out of the blue because my husbands boss knew my husband was out of the state and because he also knew that my husband was trying to discipline a mechanic because he doens't like to show up for work or when he does come he doesn't want to work.  My husband kept asking for support but was not given any.   

   

We have always been pretty simple people who have tried to do to others as we would want them to do to us. I guess that is a big reason that we just can't figure this out. My husband is being treated like a criminal.   

   

Now, four years ago we went to the superintendent with concern about a girls softball coach who had a habit of verbally yelling at his team. We have four girls so we had several years of experience. We had written a letter to the Athletic Director in 1996 but nothing was acknowledged. the coach still coached. Of course, our Athletic Director had told my husband some years ago that girls should be cheer leaders nothing else. Our last daughter was ready for Varsity and we still had serious concerns. We took it to the superintendant. Nothing was done. So, if someone can answer why a man who was fired from coaching boys baseball because he had little knowledge of the game, was given girls softball and then is verbally abusive and can still coach, yet my husband worked his behind off and was dedicated is losing his job and is not finished. Well, we just don't understand what is happening.   

   

We want to fight for his retirement and his second year of his contract and they don't want to do that much. I am scared. I don't know how we are going to pay the bills. Faith is the only thing holding things together.  

   

There are so many more things that have taken place and I am overwhelmed right now. The is so many things that are uncertain and up in the air.  

   

Thanks for letting me vent.  

CJ  

Your husband may have an age-discrimination suit.  It sounds mighty suspicious that they all of a sudden started a paper trail when he was on the cusp of retirement.  I would fight really hard to get what I deserved.  By the way I have seen lots of sleazy stuff going in in our public school districts by these "wonderful" "we're here for thekids" scuzzballs  that are in charge there.   Don't take any nonsense. Fight for what you deserve. 
 
May 18, 2006, 2:09 pm CDT

I understand what you are saying

Quote From: juliebgg

Your husband may have an age-discrimination suit.  It sounds mighty suspicious that they all of a sudden started a paper trail when he was on the cusp of retirement.  I would fight really hard to get what I deserved.  By the way I have seen lots of sleazy stuff going in in our public school districts by these "wonderful" "we're here for thekids" scuzzballs  that are in charge there.   Don't take any nonsense. Fight for what you deserve. 

Since we got a new superintendent about 6 years ago many things have changed. I am ok when there needs to be changes. The problem I have with someone as we have in this district is that employees don't matter. "Especially" if you are not or have not been a teacher.  

   

One of my husbands employees talked to us the other day and said that the temp. replacement told them how nice the facilities are and how nice everything is ran. Someone spoke up and said that is because of.. and she said my husbands name.   

   

See, I feel that this school district is going to privatize more than just my husbands job.  I believe the mechanics and then the drivers are next. They are trying to be sneaky. I wouldn't want strangers that have no ties to the community driving my kids. My husband did checks, training etc. He got to know who was driving our kids. He had a very good repore with principles, teachers and families.  

   

When we went to this superintendent about a coach and she didn't seem to want to do anything about it I had sent a letter to her the following year.  I expressed that people in our town won't trust the administration if they don't feel they are listened too and action taken when need be. I also told her that the people will speak when it is time to vote. Well, our town just turned down a large bond proposal. I thank God for that. We know how that proposal was set up for people to see. We know what they were going to do with that money. It was going to sports for the most part. The last bond did some good things but I also found out that the contractors were laughing about the administration having walls tore down more than one time after they were built the way they were told the administration wanted them.   

   

When one of our daughters went to Fl for spring training with the team, we drove down as a family. I had just lost my mom two weeks before and we just needed to get away. While down there we experienced the same things. The coaches wife got drunk. The coach sat off with his b kissers. While we were sitting at a table one evening, by the hot tub and pool talking with some fathers, I noticed three men that were approaching the girls on our team. They had split up as they were approaching girls. They were also taking pictures. One got in the water and my husband got his disposable camera. One of the other men came over and asked for it back. The fathers began questioning the men. The men said things as though because the girls were wearing bathing suits they should expect things like this. Well, much was said. One of the men told my husband that the pictures on the camera were only of sight seeing they had done. Nope, they were mostly pictures of our softball team! I gave the pics to our superintendent.  I was surprised and disappointed that she didn't say much about it when we told her.  

   

In the mean time we are trying to make ends meet. We can only fight so long. The boss, HR man and the superintendent told my husbands employees that they will treat him right. I want to know why we are having to pay for them to treat him right.  I am just really worried about what we are going too do.  

   

I appreciate prayers!  

   

Thank you,  

   

   

My husband was never given support by his boss which is appaling to me. Now this same man and his family had wound up in the same place for spring break and we all spent time together several years ago. We had been together several times. My husband and his boss talked about family things. My oldest daughter is good friends with his son and daughter in law. My husband was told he can not step foot on school property or talk with his employees! Our lawyer doesn't understand why he is being treated so bad. He is being punished for doing his job and other peoples jobs actually.  After being told that he can not speak with anyone, I stopped into the bus garage and spoke with the dispatcher that had had surgery. My husbands boss walked in.  After I left he asked who I was.   

   

My oldest daughter is a teacher in another district. She didn't want to teach in the place she graduated from because she knows so much about the people here.   

   

We are fighting for my husbands retirement. He should have a contract through 2007 but the school is going to want to fight giving him anything.   

   

The Human Resource man said he told my husband that he could not be on property. My husband truely did not hear anyone tell him that. They left him in his office to get things out for hours that day. I went with him to a meeting so that I could just sit and maybe hear the things that my husband may miss. I was not told hello. I was looked in the eye and told, "I don't talk to wives". I said, "Do you have this in writing somewhere?" He said no, "I just don't talk to wives, I only talk to employees!" I went out in a hall and waited. I was only their for support.   

 
May 20, 2006, 7:28 am CDT

stressed & unemployed

I am 53 years old and I quit my job of almost 10 years.  I just could not handle my boss cheating, stealing or commiting fraud to his patients any longer.  Since I was the one that took that patient's money I just felt awful.  I worked for a dentist that had 3 different fee schedules his private pay fee, a different fee for 1 insurance company and another fee for another insurance company.  I did report that to the insurance companies in question.  Patients have overpaid and the office manager (the Dr's. wife) would have me adjust the overpayment off and they would keep the money theirself.  The Dr has broken a bridge and a partial and tells the patient they will need a new one, then charges the patient.  No overtime pay and I have worked as many as 260 hours a month.  When I quit it took me 3 weeks to get my last check.  I had 7 days personal time due me.  I requested  that but still have not received it.  There are so many different ways that they would cheat someone out of money I just can't list them all here.  I did file for my unemployment benefits, no surprise I was disqualified because I quit, even though I did tell the unemployment office why.  I have tried to find out who I can report this Dr. to with no luck.  His target seems to be the elderly and the poor.  If anyone knows please let me know.     

I am looking for a job, so far the only prospect is a part time job.  I prefer a full time job, but finances are really bad right now. I am very optimistic that I will find one soon.   

My stress level has really went down since I quit and even though I miss the paycheck very much I would do it again.   

Hoping very much that someone can help me contact the right people to stop this Dr from this awful abuse to his patients.     

 
May 22, 2006, 8:26 am CDT

Try not to focus on negative people

I think the advice from Judyblue22 is really good.  Instead of focussing on what the negative people are saying and doing, prove them wrong by being the best you can be at your job.  Another thought is that you might want to focus less on the negative people around you, and put your energies towards the positive people.  I have been working with a life coach who has been helping me with this and it has been making a big difference in how I handle things.   

   

If you think you'd like to work with a life coach, there is a web site that offers really affordable coaches  It's www.LowCostLifeCoaching.com and you can get a professional life coach for only $50 a month.  The coaching is done over the phone.   

   

Hang in there and try not to focus on negative people!   

 
May 22, 2006, 10:46 am CDT

I like your advice

Quote From: saram43

I think the advice from Judyblue22 is really good.  Instead of focussing on what the negative people are saying and doing, prove them wrong by being the best you can be at your job.  Another thought is that you might want to focus less on the negative people around you, and put your energies towards the positive people.  I have been working with a life coach who has been helping me with this and it has been making a big difference in how I handle things.   

   

If you think you'd like to work with a life coach, there is a web site that offers really affordable coaches  It's www.LowCostLifeCoaching.com and you can get a professional life coach for only $50 a month.  The coaching is done over the phone.   

   

Hang in there and try not to focus on negative people!   

Good advice!  I have been trying to do this more at my own job,  We have a few cats at work that have negative things to say, including interpreting every minor oversight (like not putting materials back in the art closet immediately) as a deliberate and selfish move.  I choose to ignore people like this.  They only serve to drag your spirits down if you feed into their nonsense.  Since this is a school, I like  to focus on the kids (where focus should be!) rahther than on a small handful of snippy co-workers. 

  

Not surprised that the other person who echoed your  thoughts was Judyblue.  She has intelligent insight to offer on many boards here. Hi Judy from Julie!!! 

 
June 8, 2006, 4:29 pm CDT

i need coourage

i am 56 and am job hunting.  i need a kick in the pants or something inspirational.    

   

Thanks!  

 
June 30, 2006, 6:31 am CDT

I miss the job, but not the abuse.

At the beginning of June I was laid off due to the old adage of "reorganizing and restructuring."   

   

That, I recently found out, was somewhat inaccurate, and now there is another person in my place.  Find she can have it - I wonder how much abuse she's taken so far?   

   

 I spent over 3 years, and each day wondering, "what kind of mood I going to have to deal with today?  It gets pretty bad when your boss pulls up outside and you groan, wondering if she's going to take your head off as soon as she gets in the door.   

   

You ask "why did I stay" at a place that tore apart my self-esteem and somedays sent me home in tears?  My mortgage payment and my family - that is why.  Family first.  

   

I never received any praise for the job I did, only insults and criticism (stupid came out alot) and now that I've been kicked to the curb, I'm kicking the last three years "to the curb."   

   

The cord has been cut, the place is not there anymore, nor do I care to see it anymore.  It ain't worth it.   

   

If I see her in the grocery store, she's a stranger to me.  That is all.  When I say "cut the cord" I mean "cut the cord."   

   

Now I've got a new outlook and a new attitude.  In my new position I will be on my own alot, and I like it that way.  No one beating me over the head and verbally assaulting me every time I turn around.   

   

Respect is a two way street - give me some and I'll give it back.  I cannot say that I don't miss my previous position BUT I sure don't miss tgtting yelled at!   

 
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