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Topic : Stress at Work

Number of Replies: 237
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:24:47 am
Author : dataimport
How do you manage stress in the workplace? How do you leave the office at the office and manage a stress-free home life? Join us to share strategies.

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April 7, 2006, 3:36 pm CDT

My dedication to my work is making me sick

I am 38 years old and have been employeed by the same company for nearly 19 years. I did not finish college, but felt that work gave me my education. The last two years, I have come to realize that this company is not the love I want to give to a career.  

  

I have my own issues that keep me from barely keeping myself together. I do my best to face my challenges head on, but lately it's becoming more difficult to deal with life and work. I even got so bad yesterday that I asked for an off work excuse. 

  

The company (and probably most companies) rarely acknowledge the blood, sweat, and tears you give them. Once upon a time, I was eager to jump when the phone rang, and ready to save "world". That is actually my nature in a nutshell. My therapist once told me that I am a fixer, as in I love to fix everyone else's problems so I don't have to face my own. 

  

Last year, I thought I had made a wise choice to change offices. The supervisor I worked said that I would be in line for her position when she promoted. I've made bad choices before, but I think this is becoming the winner of them all. I came to an office ready to jump in and give 110%, share knowledge and make new connections. I was actually running from some supervisors in my old office that were making me miserable by their dumping on me and running with the credit (yes, I know, quit whining). The office I am in now literally loves to live in the company of misery. My promotion? I found out when that supervisor was terminated, she lured me away with a promise that she actually used on my co worker as well to keep her from quitting. 

  

Our company president has many qualities that got him the job, but at the same time he lacks a lot of skills that may not only cost me my job and career, but other employees as well. I work for a moving and storage company . There should be no time that anyone can claim they have nothing to work on. Our president does not understand our department and we don't even listen to his promises to work with us to learn. I don't know about other states, but California has pretty stringent labor laws. Mr. "M", thinks nothing to let one person work six hours befor the next person shows up for work.  I need my job, so I try to keep the piece, but he will insinuate that if you can't handle it, then maybe I need to be replaced. My department is the bottom of the barrel as far as recognition and appreciation goes. Customers call us every name in the book after they have been given the run around, managers call us and get frustrated because we don't have magical instant answers. Not only do I, but my co workers need our breaks, a few minutes to catch our breaths so we don't lose our minds. 

  

I am quite knowledgeable about our company. Many do not understand why I do not perform a higher role in our company. I want to, in fact, I need to. I am currently working on me, and what I want from life (there is one out there when it's time to go home). I am going to school and love it. I once thought this company would be my life's work. Now, I have anxiety attacks when my days off end. I come home at night and turn off the phones because I am sick of hearing them ring. This week my therapist actually pleaded with me to take the rest of the week off. She was so concerned about my behavior that she even asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts!  

  

If I absolutely had to, I could leave work and go on disability, but this actually makes my depression worse. I know it's because I need struction, but I am afraid of the stigma of being unemployed for any length of time. I thought that next week I was interviewing for a promotion, but instead, I am working on keeping myself together to let management know that at this time I need to pass on the opportunity. I am at a loss, I am tired of chasing my tail, I am tired of not living life.  

 
April 8, 2006, 8:56 am CDT

Stress at Work

Quote From: terris67

I am 38 years old and have been employeed by the same company for nearly 19 years. I did not finish college, but felt that work gave me my education. The last two years, I have come to realize that this company is not the love I want to give to a career.  

  

I have my own issues that keep me from barely keeping myself together. I do my best to face my challenges head on, but lately it's becoming more difficult to deal with life and work. I even got so bad yesterday that I asked for an off work excuse. 

  

The company (and probably most companies) rarely acknowledge the blood, sweat, and tears you give them. Once upon a time, I was eager to jump when the phone rang, and ready to save "world". That is actually my nature in a nutshell. My therapist once told me that I am a fixer, as in I love to fix everyone else's problems so I don't have to face my own. 

  

Last year, I thought I had made a wise choice to change offices. The supervisor I worked said that I would be in line for her position when she promoted. I've made bad choices before, but I think this is becoming the winner of them all. I came to an office ready to jump in and give 110%, share knowledge and make new connections. I was actually running from some supervisors in my old office that were making me miserable by their dumping on me and running with the credit (yes, I know, quit whining). The office I am in now literally loves to live in the company of misery. My promotion? I found out when that supervisor was terminated, she lured me away with a promise that she actually used on my co worker as well to keep her from quitting. 

  

Our company president has many qualities that got him the job, but at the same time he lacks a lot of skills that may not only cost me my job and career, but other employees as well. I work for a moving and storage company . There should be no time that anyone can claim they have nothing to work on. Our president does not understand our department and we don't even listen to his promises to work with us to learn. I don't know about other states, but California has pretty stringent labor laws. Mr. "M", thinks nothing to let one person work six hours befor the next person shows up for work.  I need my job, so I try to keep the piece, but he will insinuate that if you can't handle it, then maybe I need to be replaced. My department is the bottom of the barrel as far as recognition and appreciation goes. Customers call us every name in the book after they have been given the run around, managers call us and get frustrated because we don't have magical instant answers. Not only do I, but my co workers need our breaks, a few minutes to catch our breaths so we don't lose our minds. 

  

I am quite knowledgeable about our company. Many do not understand why I do not perform a higher role in our company. I want to, in fact, I need to. I am currently working on me, and what I want from life (there is one out there when it's time to go home). I am going to school and love it. I once thought this company would be my life's work. Now, I have anxiety attacks when my days off end. I come home at night and turn off the phones because I am sick of hearing them ring. This week my therapist actually pleaded with me to take the rest of the week off. She was so concerned about my behavior that she even asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts!  

  

If I absolutely had to, I could leave work and go on disability, but this actually makes my depression worse. I know it's because I need struction, but I am afraid of the stigma of being unemployed for any length of time. I thought that next week I was interviewing for a promotion, but instead, I am working on keeping myself together to let management know that at this time I need to pass on the opportunity. I am at a loss, I am tired of chasing my tail, I am tired of not living life.  

I know what you are saying because I have been exactly where you are.  I worked for a company for 19 years and thought of it as home and family and life and the center of my existence.  There wasn't an hour of the day, a day of the week, or a holiday of the year when I wasn't in the office giving 110%.  Once, on Thanksgiving, I even brought some of my home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner over to the security guards that I knew had to be on duty at the plant where I worked.   When they announced the closure of the it was like a death sentence, but life does go on.   

  

I'm also in school now and my first paper was to complete a "personal goals" assessment.  In going through this exercise, I realized that my life needs a more balanced perspective.  I broke it down into three things -- mind, body, and spirit.   

  

Take the lop-sidedness off the employment life and start focusing on other areas.  Take walks or hikes, enjoy nature, enjoy time with friends and family, get involved with your community, pursue interests that feed your spirit.  Feed your intellect with subjects that interest you.  It's so easy to be like a "dog with a bone" when it comes to workplace injustices (and they are the norm, not the exception).  I had worked for 30 years at four companies in 19 job descriptions and 25 different managers. I've been a manager of employees.   I was down-sized almost a year ago.  And it's not half bad.  I'm not homeless, I'm not anxious, my thinking has gotten more creative and most of all I have realized that there are a lot of options out there.  Focus on what you're really good at and focus on what you love.  The rest will follow.  I had to learn to lighten up after I was laid-off.  Sometimes the worst will lead to the best.  Take care.   

  

  

 
April 9, 2006, 2:53 pm CDT

Re: terris67

Quote From: buckleypat

I know what you are saying because I have been exactly where you are.  I worked for a company for 19 years and thought of it as home and family and life and the center of my existence.  There wasn't an hour of the day, a day of the week, or a holiday of the year when I wasn't in the office giving 110%.  Once, on Thanksgiving, I even brought some of my home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner over to the security guards that I knew had to be on duty at the plant where I worked.   When they announced the closure of the it was like a death sentence, but life does go on.   

  

I'm also in school now and my first paper was to complete a "personal goals" assessment.  In going through this exercise, I realized that my life needs a more balanced perspective.  I broke it down into three things -- mind, body, and spirit.   

  

Take the lop-sidedness off the employment life and start focusing on other areas.  Take walks or hikes, enjoy nature, enjoy time with friends and family, get involved with your community, pursue interests that feed your spirit.  Feed your intellect with subjects that interest you.  It's so easy to be like a "dog with a bone" when it comes to workplace injustices (and they are the norm, not the exception).  I had worked for 30 years at four companies in 19 job descriptions and 25 different managers. I've been a manager of employees.   I was down-sized almost a year ago.  And it's not half bad.  I'm not homeless, I'm not anxious, my thinking has gotten more creative and most of all I have realized that there are a lot of options out there.  Focus on what you're really good at and focus on what you love.  The rest will follow.  I had to learn to lighten up after I was laid-off.  Sometimes the worst will lead to the best.  Take care.   

  

  

I was where you are at now, about 10 years ago. The worst thing that ever happened to me was to believe that you have to like your job. It's just a job!!! Please do not let this ruin your life like I had let mine. I went on disability for depression (not SSI but thru the unemployment), and my life has been hell ever since. Of course the shrink's gonna tell you to take time off--they can be sued if you go over the edge. We live in a world where we're expected to be victorious in every aspect of our lives, including work. Truth is, most jobs suck. Please don't trade up for a bigger problem! I think right now much of your stress is coming from feeling helpless to change your situation. I expect you've become used to the idea that your job is a dead-end job? Well, if you're going to break out of that mold, you're better off practicing in your PRESENT job. So go for that promotion! You'll be working your butt off, BUT IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. And that may allow some of the stressors that are depresing you to be pushed to the wayside. Don't look at change like it's a mistake! All change is going to be uncomfortable all first. And fear--it's OK to be afraid! Even, good! These are all things I wish somebody had told me 10 years ago, before my shrink glued those victim thoughts in my head. I never did come back, you know, career-wise, or in any other way. I went from making $35,000 a year to less than $10,000--no benefits. I lost my whole life over feeling sorry for myself because of my bad job, if I'm going to be honest about it!! I'd give 20 years off my life, and will myself to never smile a day again, if I could only go back to that job I only THOUGHT I had hated so much!! It's not politically correct to tell somebody to stay in a miserable environment, but yes, it's absolutely true that there IS a certain stigma attached to taking time off, especially appoaching 40. I have lived it, first hand. You'd lose all your senority, and might be fighting for a job with a college kid still living at home, who's willing to start out at a greatly reduced salary than what you might be hoping for.I hope this helps. But the final decision is yours.
 
April 9, 2006, 2:54 pm CDT

Have I become hard-hearted?

 I am 39 years old and have been in my current job for five years.  Before that, I was in a very similar job in the same field for three years.  I work for a non-profit program that serves at-risk families and their children.  Although we have no age or income requirements to participate, almost all of our clients are low-income families.  I have always enjoyed my work and I feel fortunate that I have been given the opportunities to advance without a college degree.  I am the Supervisor of the program, which normally requires not only a Bachelor's degree, but a Master's degree.  (I have less than a  year of colleg under my belt). I am proud of the accomplishments I've made and I still enjoy the work I do.  The problem is, I am fed up with the attitude of a good portion of the families to whom we provide services.  We offer comprehensive services that cover many aspects of their lives and they choose to participate, they are not mandated to do so.  And they have this attitude of entitlement, like we owe them something.  There is no appreciation for the things we do for them or for what we provide.  We don't even have to do many of the things we do for them, such as throwing a huge Christmas party complete with Santa and bags of gifts.  They have no ambition, no desire to improve thier situation, and expect everyone else to support them and provide for thier needs.  I can't take it anymore!  And, PLEASE, don't tell me that they have had a hard life.  Haven 't we all?  I was raised by poor, but loving parents, I was 19 and single when I had my first child.  I lived in subsidised housing and still managed to stay off of welfare.  How?  Because I wasn't afraid to work for a living.  I WALKED my child to the babysitter, WALKED to work, WALKED back the babysitter, and WALKED back home again every day.  What is the problem?  No one has that "do what you have to do" attitude anymore.  And I feel like, by doing what I do for a living, I'm just contributing to the problem.  I used to think I wanted to be a Social Worker. Not anymore!  I have taken a step in the right direction.  I am in college, taking two classes a sememster.  But I can't go into the human service industry.  I just can't.  I used to be so open-minded and so "left-wing."  But exposure to the realities of the "at-risk" population have shown me that they are not persecuted, "poor things."  They are lazy, freeloaders who would rather stay down than do any work to pull themselves up.  One disclaimer...the elderly, children, mentally ill, or disabled (and I mean TRULY disabled, not just sucking up a disability check on a trumped up claim), are of course exempt from these statements.  Those are the only people I can think of who reallyd deserve all the services they get.  

So.....have I become hard-hearted?  What do you think?   

 
April 9, 2006, 5:29 pm CDT

Stressed out..

 I am a 41 year old woman and I work in a warehouse environment with a 50 year old man.  We fill customers orders and ship them out on trucks.  The orders range from 2 to 2000 cases per order.  One day he may be a jovial and easy going, but if I happen to choose the wrong order, one that he had planned to fill, he will just become a total "A" and not talk at all.  He like to fill the big orders, 70 cases and over, then in the next breath he will tell me that I don't do any of the big ones.  Is this just a male ego thing?  Our supervisor is so complacent that as long as work gets done he really doesn't care about anything else.  Right now he hasn't spoke to me for 2 1/2 days.  This creates a very stressful workplace.  I don't know what to expect when I go to work tomorrow.  If he is all talkative and everything it will irk me also because I really won't know what his problem was.  Usually I can just plug into my iPod and tune him out because I think that it bothers him all the more when I act like it doesn't bother me.  There are times I guess I am vindictive to him and try to fuel the fire. ( I started his 1700 case order after he went home earlier in the week  and he was even more pissed when he came in the next morning.)  Plus, I felt like teling him that I hoped his wife gave him a little over the weekend so he would be in a better mood Monday.  But I restrained myself.  Any suggestions on this wonderful work experience?  (I know we both act like children.)
 
April 9, 2006, 5:37 pm CDT

Wow we are in the same business!

Quote From: loreleimb

 I am 39 years old and have been in my current job for five years.  Before that, I was in a very similar job in the same field for three years.  I work for a non-profit program that serves at-risk families and their children.  Although we have no age or income requirements to participate, almost all of our clients are low-income families.  I have always enjoyed my work and I feel fortunate that I have been given the opportunities to advance without a college degree.  I am the Supervisor of the program, which normally requires not only a Bachelor's degree, but a Master's degree.  (I have less than a  year of colleg under my belt). I am proud of the accomplishments I've made and I still enjoy the work I do.  The problem is, I am fed up with the attitude of a good portion of the families to whom we provide services.  We offer comprehensive services that cover many aspects of their lives and they choose to participate, they are not mandated to do so.  And they have this attitude of entitlement, like we owe them something.  There is no appreciation for the things we do for them or for what we provide.  We don't even have to do many of the things we do for them, such as throwing a huge Christmas party complete with Santa and bags of gifts.  They have no ambition, no desire to improve thier situation, and expect everyone else to support them and provide for thier needs.  I can't take it anymore!  And, PLEASE, don't tell me that they have had a hard life.  Haven 't we all?  I was raised by poor, but loving parents, I was 19 and single when I had my first child.  I lived in subsidised housing and still managed to stay off of welfare.  How?  Because I wasn't afraid to work for a living.  I WALKED my child to the babysitter, WALKED to work, WALKED back the babysitter, and WALKED back home again every day.  What is the problem?  No one has that "do what you have to do" attitude anymore.  And I feel like, by doing what I do for a living, I'm just contributing to the problem.  I used to think I wanted to be a Social Worker. Not anymore!  I have taken a step in the right direction.  I am in college, taking two classes a sememster.  But I can't go into the human service industry.  I just can't.  I used to be so open-minded and so "left-wing."  But exposure to the realities of the "at-risk" population have shown me that they are not persecuted, "poor things."  They are lazy, freeloaders who would rather stay down than do any work to pull themselves up.  One disclaimer...the elderly, children, mentally ill, or disabled (and I mean TRULY disabled, not just sucking up a disability check on a trumped up claim), are of course exempt from these statements.  Those are the only people I can think of who reallyd deserve all the services they get.  

So.....have I become hard-hearted?  What do you think?   

And oh my gosh can I relate!  I think in our line of work it is critical to separate what we have done in life and overcome and what they are doing or not doing.  It's IS hard to see families day in and day out not do the most basics required of adults, let alone parents, but you have to hang onto those few that truly do try.  It's not as simple as most like to think in dealing with the issues that are so ingrained and generational and it sure feels like it's all for not a lot of days.  Remember that most of their behavior is learned and they do believe they are owed by hanging onto being a "victim", but every now and then one comes along that truly needs your help and will listen to the suggestions you provide.   

  

One thing I would suggest, assuming you are funded through the CSA in VA, is ask your employer for another position within the company or take some time off to ponder what YOU want in life.  If you are burned out and frustrated you are doing a disservice to the families you work with, but that does NOT make you a bad person.  The burn out rate of being a social worker is HIGH and for those of us that go into ground zero, their home place, that is kicked up several notches. There is nothing wrong with telling your supervisor you are burned out and would like another position if one is available.  We employ 52 Social Workers and Para-professional staff and I can assure you from an employer standpoint we would MUCH rather shift a person to something else than lose a valuable employee!  

  

  

Take a little time each night and give yourself some credit for a job well done, even if they don't seem to be making progress.  Make yourself some form of escape that takes your mind off your work and set specific times for yourself to enjoy that place.  Also congratulate yourself on things in YOUR life you have accomplished against the odds and the continued efforts you are making!   

  

Lori 

 
April 9, 2006, 6:47 pm CDT

Stressed at Work

Quote From: loreleimb

 I am 39 years old and have been in my current job for five years.  Before that, I was in a very similar job in the same field for three years.  I work for a non-profit program that serves at-risk families and their children.  Although we have no age or income requirements to participate, almost all of our clients are low-income families.  I have always enjoyed my work and I feel fortunate that I have been given the opportunities to advance without a college degree.  I am the Supervisor of the program, which normally requires not only a Bachelor's degree, but a Master's degree.  (I have less than a  year of colleg under my belt). I am proud of the accomplishments I've made and I still enjoy the work I do.  The problem is, I am fed up with the attitude of a good portion of the families to whom we provide services.  We offer comprehensive services that cover many aspects of their lives and they choose to participate, they are not mandated to do so.  And they have this attitude of entitlement, like we owe them something.  There is no appreciation for the things we do for them or for what we provide.  We don't even have to do many of the things we do for them, such as throwing a huge Christmas party complete with Santa and bags of gifts.  They have no ambition, no desire to improve thier situation, and expect everyone else to support them and provide for thier needs.  I can't take it anymore!  And, PLEASE, don't tell me that they have had a hard life.  Haven 't we all?  I was raised by poor, but loving parents, I was 19 and single when I had my first child.  I lived in subsidised housing and still managed to stay off of welfare.  How?  Because I wasn't afraid to work for a living.  I WALKED my child to the babysitter, WALKED to work, WALKED back the babysitter, and WALKED back home again every day.  What is the problem?  No one has that "do what you have to do" attitude anymore.  And I feel like, by doing what I do for a living, I'm just contributing to the problem.  I used to think I wanted to be a Social Worker. Not anymore!  I have taken a step in the right direction.  I am in college, taking two classes a sememster.  But I can't go into the human service industry.  I just can't.  I used to be so open-minded and so "left-wing."  But exposure to the realities of the "at-risk" population have shown me that they are not persecuted, "poor things."  They are lazy, freeloaders who would rather stay down than do any work to pull themselves up.  One disclaimer...the elderly, children, mentally ill, or disabled (and I mean TRULY disabled, not just sucking up a disability check on a trumped up claim), are of course exempt from these statements.  Those are the only people I can think of who reallyd deserve all the services they get.  

So.....have I become hard-hearted?  What do you think?   

I've said it before on many of these boards.  I'll say it again.  For every "giver"  there will be a "taker".  Don't give up faith.  Take the high road and realize that you are truly helping and if just one person succeeds because of you (and I'm sure more than one will), you will be a success.  And you are a success in and of yourself because of the work you are doing.
 
April 11, 2006, 4:05 am CDT

Stress at Work

Quote From: buckleypat

I've said it before on many of these boards.  I'll say it again.  For every "giver"  there will be a "taker".  Don't give up faith.  Take the high road and realize that you are truly helping and if just one person succeeds because of you (and I'm sure more than one will), you will be a success.  And you are a success in and of yourself because of the work you are doing.
Thanks for the words of support.  The program that I work for is a child abuse and neglect prevention program.  I have to remind myself daily that this is for the children, not the parents.  Don't get me wrong.  Some of our parents are wonderful and have that "can-do/will-do" attitude.  I'm afraid that this is rare, though.  I just feel all "peopled out" sometimes. And this is bad because I am not the home visitor...I am the Supervisor.  My staff do not know how I feel as it is my job to remind them that they are making a difference every day.  I feel like such a hipocrit! 
 
April 11, 2006, 4:09 am CDT

Stress at Work

Quote From: hlpingkids

And oh my gosh can I relate!  I think in our line of work it is critical to separate what we have done in life and overcome and what they are doing or not doing.  It's IS hard to see families day in and day out not do the most basics required of adults, let alone parents, but you have to hang onto those few that truly do try.  It's not as simple as most like to think in dealing with the issues that are so ingrained and generational and it sure feels like it's all for not a lot of days.  Remember that most of their behavior is learned and they do believe they are owed by hanging onto being a "victim", but every now and then one comes along that truly needs your help and will listen to the suggestions you provide.   

  

One thing I would suggest, assuming you are funded through the CSA in VA, is ask your employer for another position within the company or take some time off to ponder what YOU want in life.  If you are burned out and frustrated you are doing a disservice to the families you work with, but that does NOT make you a bad person.  The burn out rate of being a social worker is HIGH and for those of us that go into ground zero, their home place, that is kicked up several notches. There is nothing wrong with telling your supervisor you are burned out and would like another position if one is available.  We employ 52 Social Workers and Para-professional staff and I can assure you from an employer standpoint we would MUCH rather shift a person to something else than lose a valuable employee!  

  

  

Take a little time each night and give yourself some credit for a job well done, even if they don't seem to be making progress.  Make yourself some form of escape that takes your mind off your work and set specific times for yourself to enjoy that place.  Also congratulate yourself on things in YOUR life you have accomplished against the odds and the continued efforts you are making!   

  

Lori 

I am glad that you understand my plight.  I appreciate that.  Unfortunately, we are not funded by the local CSA, although we do work with them.  Our funds come from nothing but the grants we write ourselves.  We are a local partner in a national organization called Healthy Families America.  Ever heard of it?  There is no other position for me to move into.  But I do try to keep my job fresh by obtaining more training and expanding my realm of tasks to include things I enjoy.  The problem is, I'm burned out and I am not a home visitor.  I'm the Supervisor.  I talk with my staff every day to remind them that they are making a difference in the lives of our families and children.  But I'm not sure I believe myself.
 
April 11, 2006, 5:18 pm CDT

Ah ok the supervisory burnout!

Quote From: loreleimb

I am glad that you understand my plight.  I appreciate that.  Unfortunately, we are not funded by the local CSA, although we do work with them.  Our funds come from nothing but the grants we write ourselves.  We are a local partner in a national organization called Healthy Families America.  Ever heard of it?  There is no other position for me to move into.  But I do try to keep my job fresh by obtaining more training and expanding my realm of tasks to include things I enjoy.  The problem is, I'm burned out and I am not a home visitor.  I'm the Supervisor.  I talk with my staff every day to remind them that they are making a difference in the lives of our families and children.  But I'm not sure I believe myself.

I haven't heard of that organization, but we primarily provide services to the rural SW VA area and all of WV, ya know the places no one else wants to go? LOL 

  

I don't know if this would work for you or if it even would be an option, but maybe if some of your time was spent in the field, working with one of the kids, it would not only give you a paperwork break, but you could see first hand the difference that is made?  I know you said you aren't a social worker, but maybe mentoring just one of the kids in a family would be the breath of fresh air you need as well as that child? That could give you the perfect boost of positive reinforcement/change and positive outcome. If your company doesn't do mentoring, it looks to be a newborn program, than maybe you could work some of the research aspect into your routine? Something to break up your day so you aren't just the dumping ground for half burned out field workers. That can be a HORRIBLE position day in and day out! 

  

Is there anyone within the company you trust enough to discuss some options with? As hard as it is to find good employees and supervisors I would hope, which maybe is a bubble of mine, that they would value you, and all other employees enough to help in any way they can. It honestly sounds like you need to take breaks without thinking about work, like expanding your realm and doing more trainings, and just flat out unplug to preserve thy self.  When I get overwhelmed I take some time that I KNOW will make me forget about work and that is my horses or exercising.   

  

Also do you best to leave ALL work at the door when you get home or that safe haven will become just like the office, feelings of dread and defeat. 

  

 
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