Message Boards

Topic : Betrayal

Number of Replies: 232
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:05 am
Author : dataimport
What do you do when a trusted friend stabs you in the back? Give them a chance to explain? Or end the friendship?

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

June 13, 2006, 8:43 pm CDT

Ignore them

Quote From: cutehottie

I had to leave school because i was very suicidal this year because i was being beat up eveyday by students and teachers was treating my like garbage so i left the place.Now i herd 3 weeks ago that the teachers at my school was saying not nice things about me to the students and now i lost all my friends and no one ever talks to me on msn anymore.........anyone got any advice? 

I went through similar incidents to you when I was in high school.  I was continuously bullied, taunted, and hit by other students but lucky in my case, the teachers (mainly the deputy principal) were on my side.  I'm surprised that the teachers would say anything about you to other students.  I'm pretty sure this may be against their responsiblities at teachers at doing this, and also may be against the law. 

  

In regards to your friends, just ignore what has happened.  In my experiences, you real friends will always be with you til the end.  And sometimes you don't even realise who your real friends are.  Maybe make a few phone calls to your friends and try and talk with them...or even get your parents to talk with their parents to see whats going on. 

  

I hope this helps 

 
June 14, 2006, 1:59 am CDT

Agree with "Ignore Them"

Quote From: cutehottie

I had to leave school because i was very suicidal this year because i was being beat up eveyday by students and teachers was treating my like garbage so i left the place.Now i herd 3 weeks ago that the teachers at my school was saying not nice things about me to the students and now i lost all my friends and no one ever talks to me on msn anymore.........anyone got any advice? 

Don't worry about it. You don't go there anymore...and if they're not your friends now, then they never were.  

  

Just remember : Would you ever do that to someone who was your friend? You are better than that, and you don't have to resort to the things that they have, and you don't have to get that low. 

  

Go out and make some new friends, even if its on the internet. There are billions of people on msn, I'm sure that there is someone who is going through what you are.  

  

And complain about those teachers! I've never heard of the teachers telling the students bad things about other students, that's SO unprofessional it makes ME want to scream. 

  

And if your teachers are really that unprofessional, maybe you are better off not being taught by them. Try to start a new life somewhere, where you can find yourself. The scars of your old life won't disappear, but they will heal if you let them.  

 
June 17, 2006, 4:31 am CDT

How about this for betrayal?

How about this for ugly betrayal??      

I have had many friends  who betrayed me because I have a disability and I am  on a small income- I have been told i am a loser-useless and worthless by these friends and family AND men- these people were never there for me and I was ALWAYS there for them!    

I have no friends because I am on disability -  I can NOT tell you how many times I have been betrayed by friends who tell me I am nothing with out a lot of money -a fancy place to live or have a fancy -smancy job- 

To me-that is no friend and it hurts my feelings very badly-makes me ashamed ( although I know I have no reason to feel that way because I have done nothing wrong and such)-BUT IT HURTS-  How can people be so shallow and ignorant?    

I did nothing to these so called friends to deserve such horrible treatment-I would NOT EVER do that to some one else!   

It makes me feel like I am not good enough and no one wants me-  Men treat me this way too-  My family thinks I am a nothing with out alot of dough-but they mostly think I am a loser and not worth it because I have a disability-  ( I will save the rest for the 'family'MB) 

It hurts to write this and it took alot just to write what I just wrote to  y'all- 

Is  there any one else-man or woman-that experienced this type of ugly betrayal-  I feel so alone - 

Thanks- 

 
June 19, 2006, 4:13 pm CDT

He used the phone to break-up

After 5 years and 1 year of living together, he first told me it would be a good idea for me to move out to be on my own since I really have never had that chance to do that, so I moved out,  3 months later he calls me on the telephone and ends our relationship in 6 minutes.  

Oh yea 5 days prior to that morning phone call he told me how much he loves me and I am the best thing that's ever happened to him. I've never had closure or spoken to him. Yes I have tried to talk to him, but he won't talk to me, and I'm so devastated and hurt and feel so betrayed, and I am having a hard time with it. This man is 48 years of age and I'm 41 years and too old for this. 

 
June 19, 2006, 4:15 pm CDT

Discrimination laws

Quote From: sabrinaq

Don't worry about it. You don't go there anymore...and if they're not your friends now, then they never were.  

  

Just remember : Would you ever do that to someone who was your friend? You are better than that, and you don't have to resort to the things that they have, and you don't have to get that low. 

  

Go out and make some new friends, even if its on the internet. There are billions of people on msn, I'm sure that there is someone who is going through what you are.  

  

And complain about those teachers! I've never heard of the teachers telling the students bad things about other students, that's SO unprofessional it makes ME want to scream. 

  

And if your teachers are really that unprofessional, maybe you are better off not being taught by them. Try to start a new life somewhere, where you can find yourself. The scars of your old life won't disappear, but they will heal if you let them.  

I would contact a lawyer about your civil rights and how this school has discriminated, harrassed and retaliated against you.
 
June 20, 2006, 1:48 pm CDT

All It Takes Is One Time & It's Over....

Personally speaking,  when I have found out that someone has betrayed me, I severe the ties altogether, no ifs, ands, or buts.  I don't dwell on the whys and why-nots nor if these people need therapy, or if they have a deep seated problem.  I simply do not have the time or room in life for losers like this.  It does not matter if they are family, {God-Forbid}, friends, or the infamous co-workers.   All it takes is one time; then it is over forever.  To understand my rationale, you must all understand where I'm coming from;  I am an in-your-face-type of person, who is not afraid to tell you how I feel;  if I have problem with you, I will definitely confront you head on without mincing words; let's put all our cards on the table!!!  One exception is if I am at work & I must follow the protocol so I won't lose my job for giving the co-worker in question a piece of my mind in front of everyone.  It is only in this environment that I must keep my emotions in check.  

 
June 20, 2006, 2:59 pm CDT

I hear Ya!

Quote From: boohoosue

After 5 years and 1 year of living together, he first told me it would be a good idea for me to move out to be on my own since I really have never had that chance to do that, so I moved out,  3 months later he calls me on the telephone and ends our relationship in 6 minutes.  

Oh yea 5 days prior to that morning phone call he told me how much he loves me and I am the best thing that's ever happened to him. I've never had closure or spoken to him. Yes I have tried to talk to him, but he won't talk to me, and I'm so devastated and hurt and feel so betrayed, and I am having a hard time with it. This man is 48 years of age and I'm 41 years and too old for this. 

 Hello, I do hear ya and I got that terrible feeling in my stomach when I read you post because I have think I have felt the same (at least a little bit) as you have been.  I broke up with an abusive guy who I had been living with for nearly 10.  I was friends with his friends after this many years and, he was friends with my friends.  However one of our guy friends I always had a nice friendship with kept in contact with me after we broke up.  Ron knew Ralph had abused me and that was one resaon why I thought Ron didn't care if Ralph was hurt that Ron and I were friends, and he wasn't going to be around Ralph anymore.  I didn't ask him to chose sides, but he sort of chose mine...UNTIL people started talking and Ralph confronted Ron and said , "I thought you were my friend and you took my girl away from me."  ( I was worried about this and discussed it with Ron before we talked and hung out)  Ron told me not to worry no matter what Ralph said, but when Ralph started talking, Ron went walking, actually running.  I was very attracted to Ron and his male support was great after years of being abused, I had a big strong man to cuddle and hug and I cried on his shoulder.  We had a lot of good laughs too, but after things got rough for him, he called me and said we should "cool off"  because of what people were saying, however he said he didn't care if people talked, until it happened.  After he called and said it was time to cool off I never heard from him again.  JERK.    

  

       So the point is I was crushed, I felt betrayed, guilty, shocked, angry, really sad, I felt a great loss and alone and my feelings changed from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute.  I would cry for hours missing him and blaming myself for getting to close to him.  A whole lot of craziness and hurt.  Now I wonder if he ever thinks of me and if he realizes what a good thing he gave up in dumping me as a friend.  I have so much to offer, but I guess it wasn't what he wanted, and now I believe that I deserve better and fate let this happen so I would not waste another ten years with a disloyal coward who would run like a sissy instead of staying with a quality girl.  I am quality too.  I won't get into the details but I know I can do so much better as far as looks, career, everything, but this all didn't matter to me.  I was willing to accept him for who he was, not what he was, and I guess he didn't care.  Anyway, I don't want to get lost in that feeling again, but I will tell you Dr Phil's Love Smart Book is giving me hope.  I am only on the first chapter, but I promise myself I will learn to be Love Smart.  I will chose winnners and not these guys who will be so selfish, so aloof.  I know this does not garauntee that I won't get hurt , but I bet making a concious effort to have higher standars will help.  I wish you the best!  Good luck, you deserve the best, not some ass who dumped you without dignity or respect.     

 
June 25, 2006, 5:18 pm CDT

Why would a man lie about his wife being dead?

A man who I knew very well 30 years ago contacted me last year. After the initial glad to hear from yous' and catching up with everything ( he said his wife had died the previous year) We decided to meet on neutral ground and see if there was a spark.  We met in Phoenix on Aug 15 last year and decided that we would pursue an intimate relationship.  Two weeks later he quit calling and long story short he finally told me his wife had not died until August 3....less than 2 weeks before I met him in Phonenix.  Why lie about his wife...I am a good enough of a friend that I would have talked with him thru everything...Never a need to lie.  I cannot understand why he would lie...I know where his kids live/work...his brothers I know where they live/work. Now he will not contact me and he sold his house in CA and moved to TN...even quit his job after 17 years...Has anyone ever heard about someone doing this?  This was a guy who 30 years ago I thought wore a white hat and was one of my best mates. He was a family friend too...knew my parents and brother... spent holidays with us too. I cannot get my emotions or any common sense around this to deal with it.
 
July 1, 2006, 6:54 pm CDT

Betrayal

Quote From: buddhagurl

How about this for ugly betrayal??      

I have had many friends  who betrayed me because I have a disability and I am  on a small income- I have been told i am a loser-useless and worthless by these friends and family AND men- these people were never there for me and I was ALWAYS there for them!    

I have no friends because I am on disability -  I can NOT tell you how many times I have been betrayed by friends who tell me I am nothing with out a lot of money -a fancy place to live or have a fancy -smancy job- 

To me-that is no friend and it hurts my feelings very badly-makes me ashamed ( although I know I have no reason to feel that way because I have done nothing wrong and such)-BUT IT HURTS-  How can people be so shallow and ignorant?    

I did nothing to these so called friends to deserve such horrible treatment-I would NOT EVER do that to some one else!   

It makes me feel like I am not good enough and no one wants me-  Men treat me this way too-  My family thinks I am a nothing with out alot of dough-but they mostly think I am a loser and not worth it because I have a disability-  ( I will save the rest for the 'family'MB) 

It hurts to write this and it took alot just to write what I just wrote to  y'all- 

Is  there any one else-man or woman-that experienced this type of ugly betrayal-  I feel so alone - 

Thanks- 

BG have a look at something I did tell me whatyou think ok :) Cant post this in the other place so have to tell youhere ok :)  

  

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=829205124&n=2 

  

  

 
July 1, 2006, 6:57 pm CDT

Betrayal

Quote From: kbbmr2007

BG have a look at something I did tell me whatyou think ok :) Cant post this in the other place so have to tell youhere ok :)  

  

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=829205124&n=2 

  

  

just highlite copy and past to addy bar
 
First | Prev | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Next | Last