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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 15, 2007, 5:34 pm CDT

Christopher & Adrianne

I've always thought Chris and Adrianne marriage was a train wreck waiting to happen. Still, it's getting them both the exposure they would never have had otherwise. God, I hate celebrwannabees!
September 15, 2007, 6:22 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: bobingram

My wife, who is 17 years old than I am, have been married 28 years (been together 30) and our marriage is a strong partnership that grows stronger every day.  Just 3 years ago on our 25th anniversary we renewed our vows and had the same wedding party - it was great.  My wife retired 19 years ago, however she has continued to work until the last 3 years.  If she had her way she would keep working.  I have 4 years to go to retirement.  We both look forward to the time we can spent together.  The point is:  We enjoy each other, have fun, do things together ... it is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun.  Dr. Phil, neither of us would trade this for anything.  We have 7 kids between us, 14 grandkids, 15 great-grandkids and the family grows each year (well almost).  People commented that the marriage wouldn't last 6 months, but we are still happily married after 28 years.  It really doesn't matter what other people think.  what does matter is what is in your heart and your relationship with your love one.  No one that I know of says anything about our age.  We still get invited to functions.  We are treated as a couple - happily married couple that is.  It just does not matter.
  I totally agree.  "It is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. " And most importantly, respect.
  There is a little over 15 years age difference between my husband and myself.  He is 36 and I am 52.  Most people we meet for the first time would never think that we are not just a couple years apart in age because we are a good match.  We like each other. He thinks I am intelligent, beautiful and hillarious, and I think he is the cleverest man I know.  We have six children between us; including four of mine from a previous marriage. We celebrated 12 years married this summer, and look forward to at least 60 more together.
  We faced some resistance from his mother and grandmother in the beginning (his father had already passed away), and I was initially uncertain, no, even terrified of what was happening.  I did not want to harm our children, his family or our church community with our relationship, so we tried to be very careful how we pursued it in the beginning.
  It comes down to the two individuals and their families and their community.
September 15, 2007, 7:19 pm CDT

Yes these relationships work

My best friend is in a relationship with a man over 20 years her senior and has been very, very happy for over 10 years. They are the best thing that ever happened to each other.  I'm not the only one that thinks so, his daughter, granddaughter and exwife all agree. They have been through things that would have torn other couples apart but they have come out stronger than ever. I believe it is up to the individuals to make a relationship work and age has nothing to do with it unless you let it.
September 15, 2007, 8:02 pm CDT

Does Age Matter

    I believe that a relationship with a large age difference could be very difficult to maintain. Life is a growing experience. Some people mature faster than others and some never seem to get there. When we are young we feel invincible and rebel against those whose wisdom we feel limits our freedom. We do not give ourselves time to think.We just do what we feel we want and the more others tell us to wait the faster we run towards that which we should not do.

    It is true that many of these relationships last but how many ? To the older woman taking on a relationship with a young man in his teens I recommend therapy first. You have to explore why you have chosen this path. Not to belittle the male (for I am married to one and gave birth to one) but in their teens boys are discovering their manhood. Especially in this world where they are sexually active so young the attentions of an older woman is exciting to them. If you feel that this is what you want then give the young man time to grow and reflect. The age difference will still be there in 5 or 10yrs.This will give him time to finish school and pursue a career. If you truly love someone you want the best for them. 

    To both the men or women who decide to choose a younger mate be sure that the "jealousy demon" is not in you. If you are showing signs of mistrust break it up NOW.

September 15, 2007, 8:37 pm CDT

It Depends On The Maturity Of The Couple

I am 23 years old and my fiance and i have been together for 3 1/2 years and he is now 38.(we are getting amrried next summer)  I have heard peoples opinions but if anyone saw us on a daily basis, you would see how well we work together. Yes, we have our minor issues that i think have to do with age but i have the most wonderful relationship with him. i have been in the worst relationships, (restraining orders, police records, etc.) so i know how much to appreicate what i have now. i have always been way more mature for my age than i should have ever been made to be but it has made me into the woman i am today. i truly believe that it depends on the couple and their maturity. get to know that person and the relationship first. now, if there are signs that the relationship is unhealthy, than stand up for the person that you care about that is involved. no matter the age differance, a relationship should never be unhealthy.
September 15, 2007, 9:18 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

September 15, 2007, 10:23 pm CDT

Yes it does

I have been married for nearly 46 years to a man 12 and a half years older than me.  When I married my husband the age was no problem. When I look back I see it different, as when I was younger I mixed with a lot more older people and so did not do the things that I would have done if I had married a man with a smaller age difference.  Now when I am 64 and he is nearly 77 the difference is really noticeble.  My husband looks still to this day more than 10 years younger, (he was the same when we met so I did not know his age) and sometimes they think he is younger than me. However he is now acting his age and is not interested in a lot of things that I am still interested in. Also he retired when he was 62, yet I am still working to make sure we have a decent life. 

Now when I mix with people his age I am confronted with people who are really old and want to take life easier.  I am not ready for that.  I do not know what I will be like at 77, I might be the same, however I do not want to live like that now, so we do a lot of things seperate. He does his thing and I do mine.

When my son's were in their twenties I would have done something if a mother of a friend of theirs had gone after my sons.  When I see a young man, I could not dream of going to bed with them, it is like going to bed with your sons.  Sickening.

September 16, 2007, 4:31 am CDT

Hey Russell Vlaanderen!

Quote From: hpmx590

Age Doctor Does Matter Phil. Of course age does matter.  Right now I am only 49. But I will be Fifty next-----

year. See you next week. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------------------------------

Happy birthday next year!
September 16, 2007, 5:16 am CDT


          I don't agree with this women at all. I think for her to date one of her son's friends is very selfish of her!  I mean seriously, how do you think that her son must feel about it. And she is putting her own insecurities infront of her sons feelings about this. I think that it is just wrong. But here's what I think is even more wrong. It amazes me that when I women dates some one much younger than her, we all raise our eyebrows at her and think that she must have some serious problem or some thing, yet when men do it, we consider it ok or other men will even consider him lucky to be able to get some one younger! Why is it so different? How many men do you know of that are married or not but that are having an affair or dating some one almost half there age or much younger any ways?

September 16, 2007, 5:19 am CDT


Quote From: caroljforbes

Oh, for Heaven's sake, Woman, grow up!  What could you possible have in common with your baby's friend?  And what makes you think it will not matter to your kids?  Good grief, you are the reason we women get a bad rap!  Go find someone your own age!   CJF
I couldn't have said it better!!! To think that it won't matter to her children is pathetic! Maybe her children act like it doesn't matter to them cause they don't want to hurt hr feelings, but I just can't see how a women can be so self absorbed in herself!!! 
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