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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 21, 2007, 8:27 am CDT

Yes Age Does Matter

Dr. Phil:


I rarely ever respond to things I see or hear relating to others lives, especially television, BUT this time is very different.


I can't imagine what this woman could possibly be thinking other than what's in it for her.  I wonder if she ever asked that important question" I have a son, what would I think and/or feel if he brought home me"?


She know that is wrong, otherwise she would not have sought the intervention of you.  I don't think that she needed rocket science revelation to let her know that this situation could only become worse. 


First, they have absolutely nothing in common, NOTHING.  It is exactly as you said, this is strictly self-gratification. Nothning more.


I say, grow up, continue to enhance your son, and GET AN ADULT LIFE and leave the teenage dating to your son.

September 21, 2007, 8:34 am CDT

Does Age Matter?

Well I feel that age does matter. I am 38 and have went out with men in there 50's. It didn't last long because I was treadted like a child. Then I dated a younger man. He was 29 and I was 37. Big mistake, He has a lot of growing up to do. So I will just stick with a man that is only a few years older than me.


  My best friend has a 16 yr old son, that says when he truns 18 he is going to marry me. I told him not in this life time, I am older than his mom. His mom thinks it's cute. I don't think it is at all.



September 21, 2007, 8:35 am CDT

how come guys can do it????

I have just seen the Dr. phil show, the one about the older woman dateing her son's friend with the age gap being 24 years.

I dont think it is right being that young and with someone who is that old.  But I dont think it's that wrong either. You cant help who you fall for.

But I was just wondering how come it is ok for guys/men to date and marry younger woman? I am in a relationship with a man 21 years my senior, we also have a daughter together, along with my other 2 children, we are not married, but this is not my first relationship of this kind of age gap. I have been with this man for almost 5 years. we have out problems, but our problems are not age related. Age has a impacted but it dosent have to be a problem. sometimes we dont see eye to eye, because I hear from him, "thats not the way we use to do it when i was a kid" or blaaa..blaaa..blaa. but I remind him that we are in this time erra and the way we were brought up was very  diffrent  from each other . There are conflicts, but we can get threw them.

But why is it not ok for a woman to date a younger guy, when guys do it all the time and even get praised about it.

This poor woman on the show today got verbily beaten down from Dr. Phil...And guys do it all the time, sociaty sees nothing wrong with it when they do it. But let a older woman/mother do it and she is slamed. Whats up with that?

September 21, 2007, 8:37 am CDT

what is age

     My husband age is 38 and mine is 29.   IF  the two people are the age of 18 or older. Than who are we to tell them that it is wrong.  I have a wounderful marriage to my husaband. We do verything together .I have been told that I have one in a million when it comes to my husband. I did not see anything wrong with the 38 aged woman and the 18 aged young man.  Now days people throw things out of line. So it's wrong for a 18 year old to date a 38 year old. But they is nothing said about their age when we send them to war. Who are we to judge.  The Lord is the only one who has the right to judge us.
September 21, 2007, 8:40 am CDT

Chris and Adrienne

I knew they were in trouble when she pushed him into marriage and said marry me or we break up.. Chris, you should have broken up.  She was having a fit when things dont go her way, just like a little kid. You cant demand someone marry you or else... You end up on Dr Phil.


She is a very immature and spoiled girl, and  Chris, you are more a father to her than a husband.  Have to say I saw this coming a mile away.

September 21, 2007, 8:41 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: murnie48

  I totally agree.  "It is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. " And most importantly, respect.
  There is a little over 15 years age difference between my husband and myself.  He is 36 and I am 52.  Most people we meet for the first time would never think that we are not just a couple years apart in age because we are a good match.  We like each other. He thinks I am intelligent, beautiful and hillarious, and I think he is the cleverest man I know.  We have six children between us; including four of mine from a previous marriage. We celebrated 12 years married this summer, and look forward to at least 60 more together.
  We faced some resistance from his mother and grandmother in the beginning (his father had already passed away), and I was initially uncertain, no, even terrified of what was happening.  I did not want to harm our children, his family or our church community with our relationship, so we tried to be very careful how we pursued it in the beginning.
  It comes down to the two individuals and their families and their community.
I feel exactly like the people above and they have expressed it all beautifully. I am 19 years older than my husband and we have had 31 years of happiness together. he has always been mature in his ways and I've always been younger in mine so our internal ages meet.  We both love the same things and dislike the same things. We love Country music and go to all the concerts and gigs that our favorite band "Gunsmoke" plays. We have had and still have a wonderful life. I love Dr. Phil but not today. I thought that he treated the first two with respect because it was the male that was older and when they first met she was barely into her 20's and he was well into his 40's but treated the others like, and telling them that theirs was sick and demented. Our families were not against us and we always had the love and acceptance of everyone. Each couple has to make up their own minds and hearts and not ask anyone else. Everyone's tastes and needs are different and no one else can make their decision.
September 21, 2007, 8:42 am CDT

He's still a child...

I am extremely bothered by this, simply because a person who is 38 years old has no business dating someone that young.  To me, this is straight up common sense, it's just wrong.  Now you have a situation where if she does end this relationship, what's going to happen to this kid?  Is he going to fall into a depression, or keep following a pattern of dating older women?  I think Dr. Phil should put this kid and his mother into counseling to fix their relationship so he can resolve his issues at an early enough age to still make good relationship choices in his future.  He seemed like a very nice kid, and you can't tell a teenager anything, they don't listen.  Something needs to be done here, because I can already tell that she won't end it, and there will be many toxic relationships spawned from this  situation.
September 21, 2007, 8:43 am CDT

Exactly. . . but

Quote From: livvygirl

So how come it's perfectly okay for an old goat like the former Peter Brady to marry a girl of 22, but when it's the woman who's older she's just a sick pervert? 
I was wondering when someone was going to bring that up.  The older woman is called a child molester.  The older guy is just controlling.  Definitely a double standard.  But I also think the 18y.o. boy is still just a boy - there's a lot of growing up that goes on in the 4 years between 18 and 22 (i.e. at college).  If he were 22 and had gone to college at least he would have had the opportunity to learn a little more about what he wants from life.  As it is he's just followed his naughty bits into a willing woman's bed - it's comforting and feels good but it isn't helping him.  He's not getting an education.  He's not starting a career.  His life is on hold while he wallows in this fuzzy afterglow.  Not healthy.
September 21, 2007, 8:44 am CDT


September 21, 2007, 8:59 am CDT

Not gender bias

Quote From: dreas70

I am not crazy about the age thing here with this woman and 18 yr old, but I agree with one other post, an 18 year old is considered a legal adult and can make adult decisions according to the law. I feel like if this was a 40 year old man dating a 20  year old woman, then there wouldnt be any issues at all. I get sick of the gender biased crap when it comes to these kind of things. Why is it wrong for a woman, and not a man. I didnt hear Dr. Phil ripping into Chris with his behavior or the age gap between them like he did this woman.................
The situations weren't the same. I am certain that if the second story were about a 38-year-old man who was still married when he started getting physical with a 17-year-old female friend of his daughter, Dr. McGraw would have said the same thing. The first story was about a basically dysfunctional relationship, but the second one was plain sick. This woman is still married and shouldn't be cohabitating right now with anyone, much less a teenager who apparently has no idea of where he's going in life and who apparently isn't mature enough to tell the difference between lust and love..
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