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Topic : 08/16 Family Drama

Number of Replies: 381
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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:35:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/23/07) No matter how much we try to avoid it, conflict is a part of life. But what happens when an entire family points the finger at one person as the source of the chaos? Carrie’s family calls her a drama queen who tries to destroy their relationships. Her sister, Miranda, says Carrie called their mother trash and wants their father to divorce her. Her brother, Meikle, says Carrie is upset because she didn’t approve of his fiancée and now refuses to attend his wedding. Carrie admits that she can be attracted to conflict, but says she feels isolated by her family. Then, Carrie’s parents, LaRon and Susan, confront her about trying to break up their marriage. Carrie hasn’t spoken to her mom in over a month, and they face off onstage. Plus, Carrie reveals a shocking secret that she’s kept from her family for years. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 23, 2007, 6:56 am CDT

About Carrie...

Quote From: anon_slc

If you are with in a family relationship, you expect the relationships to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When a member in the family relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the family relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:



What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse by Vernon Wiehe


Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss


Treating Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents:  A Relational Approach by Efrain Bleiberg OR Emotional Unavailability:  Recognizing It, Understanding It and Avoiding Its Trap by Bryn Collins


How to Journal for Therapy:



Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.



Hope it helps!



Does she just simply(well, maybe not SIMPLY) have a personality disorder that has not been diagnosed?
April 23, 2007, 7:00 am CDT

04/23 Family Drama


   What goes around comes back around.  Is she the baby of the family?

    By not attending the wedding she is making choices judgements that

    is sure to make her feel lonely. Whats the old saying "clean up you on

    back yard before you judge someones elses".  

April 23, 2007, 7:17 am CDT


This show really hit home for me.  My father is a wonderful man who is to be considered the black sheep of his family because he married my mother whom they did not like.  He has one bother and one sister whom live a mile down the road from my parents house, do you know that his bother has never been in there house, his sister I like she comes around and is good to my family.  The brother I cannot stand when my wedding rolled around I invited them even though I did not want to they told my dad that they would be out of town, well I come by there house 2 hours before my wedding on my way to my parents and they are doing yard work.  Nice huh  There son just got married and everyone in the family was invited except my family, they have even sent my dad two of the same birthday cards over the years not remembering if they sent him one.  My dad tries his best to call them and talk to them or go to there house but they have nothing to do with us, which is fine with me but I cen see it hurts him.  I want to go to there house so bad and tell them what I think and what they are missing out on but out of recpect for my father I stay away.  I just don't understand how people can be so cruel.
April 23, 2007, 7:41 am CDT

There is one in every family.



I have a relative just like Carrie! I just told her I love you and take care of yourself and when you have something positive to talk about give me a call.  I think everyone keeps feeding her need for drama.  I find Carrie's bulimia hard to believe I think there is something ever darker and deeper in her. Carrie, may god bless you and keep strong.!



April 23, 2007, 7:46 am CDT

Take my advice (TONS of experience here!)

Carrie is nothing more than an attention junkie, and her family are the pushers.  If they wanted to fix Carrie, they'd stop listening to her nonsense.  That girl needs therapy.


Let me share my experiences with you.  Sorry it's so long.  My aunt is the Carrie of my mom's family.  "Clarissa" was the younger daughter in a family of five children (two sisters, three brothers).  It was always "The Clarissa Show" in that family.  She was the youngest and she got pampered, where my mom and uncles had to often fend for themselves.  She grew up with a terrible sense of entitlement.  When my mom and dad bought a run-down trailer from my grandparents on a small plot of land, my aunt would take pleasure in telling my brother and I (we were five and seven at the time) how my mom ripped her off and how SHE should have that trailer for free.  The trailer was one step from being condemned and SHE thought we ripped her off!  She complained about how my grandparents would only lend her so much money a month (she NEVER paid them back) and how my grandmother led my grandfather astray when it came to his generosity to her.  After a while, my aunt's incessant ramblings sounded like BLAH, BLAH, BLAH to me.  Let's see:  her husband has tried to kill her by poisoning her cigarettes, her daughter tried to kill her with bad cooking, her son tried to kill her somehow (I don't even remember what HE did to her, supposedly!)  She was married to a horrible man, but never left or complained ONCE to him.  We made it an art form learning to tune her out!


She now has three grown children, ALL OF THEM are the exact same.  My cousin "Ken" lives on welfare and complains when the checks aren't big enough, my cousin "Donna" gripes about her horrible husband and how NOBODY seems to care about her problems, and my other cousin "Dwayne" gripes about how the world doesn't want to cut him a break.  My cousin Donna is the WORST!  If she's got something good, she rubs your nose in it BIG TIME.  If she's miserable, she wants you to cry her a river, and if you don't, you are on the "poop" list and she calls someone else to complain about YOU.  She and her horrible mother actually had the gall to go to my grandmother two days before her death to try to strongarm her into leaving them the house, the car and the boat!  Then the day after we buried her, they went in and RANSACKED the house and stole whatever wasn't nailed down!  I ended up inheriting the one thing I wanted, a picture of my grandfather, and my cousin went to my mother and demanded that picture back!  (She didn't get it!)  If it had been up to me, they'd be in jail right now. 


Clarissa's brothers and sister forgive a lot of their nonsense, but I DON'T.  Now that I am grown and don't have to hear it, I DON'T.  I don't acknowledge them in public, I don't answer any of their phone calls and I DON'T feed their need for attention!  To do so would be to play right into their greedy little hands.  As far as I'm concerned, they made their beds so they can lie in them!  My advice to that family:  get that girl counseling and get away from her until she straightens her own life out!  She needs a good two years with a counselor and NOT with them.  She is bleeding you dry and you can't help her.  If you keep this up, and God forbid this brat has children of her own, you will be in the same boat my mom is in now.  I jumped that ship years ago, and believe you me it feels SO good!  I love my aunt and my cousins (believe it or not) but they are a cancer on my life and I don't need that disease destroying anything I've worked so hard for.  You must get her help and let her go, only for a little while!  You are part of the problem, not the solution.  Only a trained professional can help Carrie now.  Until then, you are just pawns in "The Carrie Show" and you are being duped.

April 23, 2007, 7:57 am CDT

Want some cheese with that whine?

OMG. This is the most annoying Dr. Phil I've ever seen. The ENTIRE FAMILY is whiney and it is almost unbearable to watch. I've never seen so many drama queens in one family. Carrie does seem to be the head queen, but she definately came by it honestly. The whole family has issues. Good Lord!
April 23, 2007, 7:57 am CDT


Oh my gosh....enough!!  This whole family is full of drama queens!!  Grow up!
April 23, 2007, 7:58 am CDT

Great show today!

I love how Dr. Phil cuts through all the surface drama and gets right to the core problems in families like this. Yes, Carrie needs professional help but they're [i]all[/i] guilty of blaming every last thing on her.

Mom? You have the right to invade your child's privacy if you're afraid she is hurting herself with drugs or has an abusive boyfriend -- not because you're paying for something.
April 23, 2007, 8:29 am CDT

04/23 Family Drama

Quote From: livvygirl

There is a very big difference between wanting HELP and wanting ATTENTION.  Carrie seems like an attention junkie.  Her family may be miserable, but she's probably thrilled - she dominates the thoughts of every member of her family.  She seems like a manipulative, selfish brat.  If one of my adult children told me that their father was "trash", and that I could do better, I'd slap their face and show them the door until they apologized.  What a tiresome girl.
What??? You'd slap your child? Yeah, that makes you a better parent for sure. Other than that comment I agree with you.
April 23, 2007, 8:42 am CDT

Carrie - difficult and controlling




I cannot believe how far Dr Phil missed the mark on this one.


We had  a Carrie in our family (but thankfully not as severe).   She was controlling, and had a tremendous memory for every supposed slight.   Unmarried herself, She involved herself deeply in the affairs of her sisters family, and expected to be included in every event.  But she attempted to control every event.  If anyone did not do things her way it was taken as a personal insult to her.  And she never forgot. She remembered every supposed slight.   (Even in her Eighties, she vocally expressed her hate for her father because he sold her bicycle when she was 16.  In those times, it was not lady-like to ride a bicycle.) 


To top it off, everyone around her had to swallow their dignity and take her behavior and control.  But she would never have tolerated similar behavior from someone else.


Her overbearing, controlling behavior made every family event a struggle.  Eventually, we had to sneak off to visits to close family members so she would not invite herself and ruin the event. 


The situation in Carrie’s  was so familiar to me, and I believe there will never be a happy outcome unless Carrie’s behaviors and expectations change.   This situation was not as much about a drama queen (as Doctor Phil characterized), as about a person who is extremely self-centered and controlling and unforgiving.   Anyone who does not submit to her control becomes an enemy. 


 The problem in Carrie’s family is 95% Carrie and her personality.  Dr Phil did a great injustice placing so much blame on the other family members.  They looked like a pretty normal bunch of people of dealing with a family member with a difficult and controlling personality. 

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