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Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

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Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:30:39 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/09/07) Two-and-a-half years ago, Cat and Todd left their 6-year-old daughter, Grace, with Todd’s parents for the night. Little did they know, it would be the night that changed their family forever. Grace’s grandfather, Steve, molested her, and after Grace told her grandmother, Ann, about it, Ann failed to report it. After confronting Todd’s parents, Cat and Todd pressed charges. Steve served eight months in jail and is now a registered sex offender. Neither he nor Ann has seen Cat, Todd or their grandchildren in over two years, but they desperately want to put their family back together. Steve says he’s ready to do what he can to heal his family, but Todd and Cat are not convinced. What does Steve say is his reason for stealing Grace's innocence? Dr. Phil meets with the grandparents and gets to the truth of what really happened, while Todd and Cat watch from behind a two-way mirror. Will the unvarnished truth be too much for them to handle? Can this fractured family ever heal and move on? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 7, 2007, 10:12 am CDT

get real with it

Quote From: swissmickey


 How dare that pair of "GRANDPARENTS" even get the outlandish idea that there EVER will be a way to "re-establish" any kind of relationship within that family!!!!!!!! 


GRANDPARENTS are supposed to be that ..GRAND-PARENTS, you know the kind of older wiser loving people you can ALWAYS count on to have an EXTRA SAFE place to fall when you need them!!!!!!!!    


Eight months would never have been enough time to serve for a crime of taking a childs' innocents, damaging her self esteem, trust, ego....on and on....and the GRANDMOTHER...shame on her!! I would have had her thrown in jail as an accessory to RAPE and also register as a SEX OFFENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Why dont grandma put away that perverted old man. and have a safe relationship with her grandaughter?  He sould have spent more time in jail thats just crazy on the peoples part for not pushing for more time.  He has no right to ever think he could or even try to be a part of that little girls life.. he should wait till she is adult and time is gone by and let her decide if she wants to be a part of his life or not.. but if iwas grandma how could she even live with him daily knowing he touched that babie girl? thats just unthought of. forgivness dont mean live with them.
April 7, 2007, 10:26 am CDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

I too was molested when i was younger. But not just one time, I was molested for 10 years of my life, by my step-father, and for all I know it could have happened even before I could start to remember. Even after my mother divorced him I felt forced to go see him in the summer b/c he was the only father i knew. I told my mother when I was 13 that i didnt want to see him anymore, but I didn't give her a reason, but she respected that and that was that. It wasn't until I was 16 that I finally told her about what he did to me for so long. And the only reason I did was b/c i overheard my mother telling her friend that my grandfather did the same to her. So I think to myself, how could she allow me to be alone with my grandfather, knowing that he was sick? And why didnt she press charges against my step father? She called him and confronted him about it, and he denied it, but she never did anything else. After that, he moved and changed his number and everything, we don't know where he is now, but I think I have an idea. I have a funny feeling he has married a woman that has twin girls, I feel like b/c I have the knowledge I should take responsibility and tell her. But how? How do I tell her and get her to believe me without my step-father steping in and trying to convince her otherwise? Everyday, I am now 21 with two beautiful little boys, and I am scared to death that when I drop them off at daycare or leave them with the babysitter that something will happen to them. I don't want to be a Ruth (from the bible) , but it's so hard with the fear of your children being hurt. I don't think that that grandfather should be allowed back into that little girls life, that would make her question her parents as she gets older. When the little girl becomes an adult, if she decides that she wants to let God take His revenge, and forgive her grandfather for what he did, then that would be her decision. But never should her parents force the grandfather back into her life while she is still young.
April 7, 2007, 10:39 am CDT

saving grace

 that  [man]  that   molested  grace  is  a  piece  of   ****.  no  way  no  how  should  he   ever   be   allowed   to   visit  that   child.grace  deserves  to  be  protected   form  him  and   the   poor   excuse   for   nana.  i    would   personally   turn   any   family   member   in   for   hurting   a   child,  in   any  way   shape   or   form.  lock   him   up   FOREVER.  GIVE  HIM  1   MEAL  A  DAY.  THE   LAWS   ARE   TO   SOFT   FOR   THESE   WORTLESS  CRAP.I  HOPE  JUSTICE  IS  DONE
April 7, 2007, 11:09 am CDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Quote From: grammadale

In my experience, the grandfather will never admit what he has done, especially NOT on national tv.  Best to keep the kids (both adult and grandkids) away from these people.  The fact that the grandmother never reported the molestation just confirms that she is in denial.  They made their bed, now they need to lie in's a damn shame that they all have to suffer for one man's warped view of "love"!!!

 Molesting a child is not an "accidental" occurence. It is something that the perpetrator  obsesses over even if just for a little while. It is a personal choice made out of a selfish desire to satisfy an unnatural urge.  No real thought goes into whether or not the child will be harmed,  just the  desire of the molester. How sad we don't have more stringent laws to protect our children from these perverts.
A child should never have to be exposed to their molester in their lifetime unless it is to testify to the horror of the act that is sure to change their life forever!
Let's work to change  the way the law treats the molester after he has ruined the lives of children. It is not an illness is a lifestyle.
Thank you.
April 7, 2007, 11:47 am CDT

childhoods end

I imagine that incest and molestation was always around and often the deed done. I think that with the advent of  a greater media and shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil ,Nancy Grace ,Glen Beck: we hear of what goes on more than before, Sometimes we get overloaded with negativities such as this. Just ask yourself if it ever happened to YOU.."WOULD I WANT THIS PERSON IN MY LIFE?"
April 7, 2007, 12:03 pm CDT

I was molested as a child as well as my daughter

I will be watching this show to see what happens but I just wanted to say that my father abused me and my older sister and he only did 83 days in jail cause the state could not prove it. because they wouldn't put me on the stand. and then 6 years ago my husband and I  found out my mother molested our daughter in our home which again we reported and nothing was ever done so my husband and I stopped all visition with my mother and our daughter cause of this and too this day we still don't allow our child to see her. This makes our daughter happy not be able to see her but my mother seems to think we are wrong to do this. what do I do. I can't and will not allow her around my child and she keeps telling me she will see her one way or another. I am truely scared she might take her but I cant get a restraining order cause she will deny everything as she always has. Dr. Phil and Robin what am I too do? I try and be the best mom I can and I still worry. I have to go over to my mothers and look at her just to be able to see my Grandmother and everytime I do I have to bite my tongue just to keep from exploding.
April 7, 2007, 12:41 pm CDT

Child Sex Offender Should Never Be Released

Quote From: vtaggart

I was also molested as a child by my "daddy" and believe me it was not easy having to live in the same house with him all my life.  But, I still loved him in my heart.  I had a lot of mental illness from this and the Lord is the "only one" who saved me from living my life in a horrible way.

Now that is said, I believe they should visit with the grandparents, but never ever let the child and grandfather be alone.  Listen to  every word that is being said between the two.  Let the grandfather know up front that he will be watched and if he ever says or does anything toward this child that he will be punished again.  This child loves  him and it will take years before she comes to realize hate toward him.  Let her be a child.  Trust me, in time this child will heal and be able to live a normal productive life, if the family does not keep reminding the child that she was victimized.  Forgiveness can and does happen. 

If our society really cared for children, molesters would never get out of jail.  When you abuse one of God's children, there should be no second chance, it was a choice the abuser made.  But, since the grandfather is no longer in jail, then life must be as normal as possible for this little girl to heal.  She needs to know her parents will defend her and make her feel safe, even around the abuser. 

If the little girl wants to talk to her parents, they should be there for her and let her know she will be okay.  Not too much of this "your a victim" even though she is, always make her feel okay and not like "it is her fault."  How this situation is handled now while she is young is what she will carry with her for the rest of her life.  Do you want a child to believe she is a victim all her life or that something terrible happened, but by the Grace of God she doesn't have to carry this burden for life. 

If anyone grew up during the time when there was no help, we turned to God for comfort and He never failed us. 

I am the MOTHER of a sexual abused child by a FAMILY Member. I was shocked when I found out. My son was the victim. This happened during the years of 11 to 12 years of age. My son was in the State Hospital for around five months. When I found out that this has happened. I immediately contacted the sheriff department to file charges. Finding out this wasn't the first time this man had been charged, but got off due to a tectonically. Oh man was I was furious and was bound and determined to get this man off the streets. I actually told the Deputy that if they didn't get him off the streets, that I would. The Deputy told me that I couldn't say that. Now I'm wondering why. The Deputy told me that by saying this if anything happened to him, I would be the first person arrested.  Well to make a long story short. I had people watching him and when ever he made a move that put him around children I would call and complain. It took me EIGHT years to get this man behind bars in prison. I never allowed this family around my son again. I went to every parole hearing so this man wouldn't be allowed to get out. Finally his mandatory release date came up and he was released. Well he go back into trouble and had to return to prison for the remaining of his time. Finally he killed his number and is now released in to the public again. Did you know that any Sex Offender in the State of Colorado is allowed to use a street corner as their address, example they could say, the corner of 5th and Main in this town. Now that rule needs to be changed so they have to have a physical address.
April 7, 2007, 12:42 pm CDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

If Steve is indeed guilty of molesting his granddaughter, and the grandmother never reported it, there is NO way they should be allowed back in their granddaughter's life, period!  
April 7, 2007, 1:07 pm CDT

monday show4-9-07

in reference to the family where the grandfather molested the granddaughter and the grandmother  did nothing about it.  it is my strong opinion that the grandmother should have been charged to.  a lot of children are molested and the female partner does nothin.  if we start holding this so called weak women accountable, maybe then we can start teaching our young girls to be stronger.  as far as the "family reunion" goes, i think no reunion should be done.  when the daughter wants to see or confront them it should be when she's ready, not anybody else.  she is the victim of a hideous crime.  rape......are other rape victims visiting their assailents? no

she is a child who needs to fill her world with a lot of good things to help her heal.  it doesn't help to keep bringing it up.  she will in her own ways little by little and in her own time.  let her heal her own way. she will.  we all do. as far as the parents, it hard to imagine your pain.  you apparently raised her  to be comfortable in telling you things that bother her.  you must forgive yourself , and use your gut instinct when it comes to the safety of your daughter.  trust her instincts too.  live your lives like nothing ever happened and address the issues as she brings them up.  let her grandparents know that they cannot be part of her life.

April 7, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

SAVING Grace.....

I had this to happen to my neice with another family member. Believe me the family after 4 years is NOT the same. Even with counseling and therapy...we still ''DO NOT'' trust that person around

any of our children/ grandchildren.  AND HOW DARE THEY  SAY THEY ARE GRANDPARENTS TO THAT PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL. Grandparents I believe are given the priviledge by God  to LOVE, AND ''PROTECT'' our grandchildren, not hurt them. So I say to the parents...that neither of them should be consider as the child's grandparents again.  And from family experience, the trauma will always be a part of the family, when/if together; so for the childrens sake, don't let them around those two people again. And teach them as they get older, why you made the choice of that. God bless your family and I pray that he will heal you all of this terrible experience.

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