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Topic : 07/03 Big Love

Number of Replies: 605
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:55:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 1/31/07) The media bombards the public with images of stick-thin bodies, but not all men prefer these types of women. Self-proclaimed "Chubby Chasers" love their women curvy, round and voluptuous. Clayton says he likes the rolls on his wife, Cheryl's, 300-pound body, and he loves to watch her butt jiggle. Cheryl says that she wants to lose weight but fears that if she does, she might also lose her marriage. Does Clayton sabotage Cheryl to keep her overweight? Dr. Phil has a plan to get them both what they want. Then, Phillip says he prefers to date women who are at least 250 pounds. His twin brother, Paul, says he's disgusted by the plus-size women, and his brother is embarrassing the family. He even makes fun of Phillip's dates when he brings one home, calling her fat and stinky. Will these brothers ever be able to find a middle ground? And, go inside a nightclub that caters to big women and men who can't get enough of them! Talk about the show here.

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January 31, 2007, 7:10 am CST

With all due respect

I both agree and to some degree "disagree" with Dr. Phil with regards to not only larger women but men.

 

Let me first confirm his philosophy that it truly is NOT about the wrapper but what is inside that counts....and I can speak from experience. A "hot' man does not make him a good man or a quality partner and the same holds true for women.

 

May I also interject and add that our vision of what beauty IS has changed with the times and generations. At one time, Rubenesque women were considered all the rage, and the vulumptuous figure was what women stirved for. Then came Marilyn Monroe who was considered curvy but "hot" and I even knew one man who thought that Kathleen Turner was the epitome of femininity.

 

Thanks to the 60s and the likes of Twiggy, all that changed to were "heroin chic" gave rise to models such as Kate Moss and others, a trend we are now "contesting'.

 

Still, I am inclined, like dr. phil to believe there must be limits, especially since regardless of age, excessive excess weight is physically detrimental and potentially dangerous.

 

I also think that while a club for larger ladies (and gents) is great (to each their own) the only thing I "contest" is people who don't dress for their size. Women with rolls, just from an aesthetic view point should not be in belly shirts, bikinis, or spandes. I am NOT a larger women but tend to carry my weight from the weight down, and remain conscientious about dressing with sophistication, dignity and class, even back in my college days, NOT revealing the parts that needn't be revealed. And, the same holds true for tiny girl's with buxom breast, Keep it clean and keep it classy and keep your shirt on. Remember, the only way to get respect is to earn it.

 

Another factor I'm concerned with is NOT that these men prefer a certain body type...but why. While some may have altruistic intentions, I "fear" that others are using these individuals with  stereotypically "less socially acceptable" body images to enahce their own self-esteem issues, perhaps feeling they can't get or keep someone considered "hot" or latching on to these women hoping to take advantage of them, since perhaps they hope these ladies feel unacceptable for anyone else and will have to SETTLE for whatever these men give them. Maybe they fear being left  and are playing off other people's insecurities. And, while I can't lump everyone in the same category,  I would presume that the latter holds true for a vast variety of these chubby chasers and they are pursuing plus-size ladies for their own selfish motives. Jealously and insecurity are two very horrible things.

 
January 31, 2007, 7:11 am CST

If you want to be slimmer

Quote From: pichick712

I can say that I am definitely not a sloth nor a glutton. If you saw my mother, you would agree that a PORTION of my weight problem lies with genetics - my sister is in the same situation. We were all thin until we had children. While I do have hypertension, I am in otherwise excellent health.

 

why aren't these questions asked when the man is obese?

 

 

You will probably need to step up your activity level.  Assuming you are a very active person, and not less active than the average slim person,  morbid obesity does send a warning you are not active enough, eat too much, and have the darwinistic baggage  that goes with that.    You can't blame men or any other people for responding to unconscious triggers of "more-desireable, less-desireable" in the search for an appropriate mate.   The envelope is part of you,  if you want folks to take all of you,  you are going to have to start accepting that a weight problem is, in fact, part of that "all of you".

But to your pointed question about men being exempt from scrutiny of their figures,  they aren't.   It's just that the attractiveness of men as mates includes not only signs of youth, health and virility, but ability to provide and protect a mate.    You've heard the expression "her face was her fortune"?  Women without money or connections might always parlay beauty into an advantageous union...  its not that men get a free pass for being toads, or that handsome rakes can't get away with being bad providers,  but a man's compensatory qualities traditionally include signs he is able to provide for  and protect a mate and (in addition) the children a union might produce.  
 
January 31, 2007, 7:15 am CST

More to the point

Quote From: pichick712

I can say that I am definitely not a sloth nor a glutton. If you saw my mother, you would agree that a PORTION of my weight problem lies with genetics - my sister is in the same situation. We were all thin until we had children. While I do have hypertension, I am in otherwise excellent health.

 

why aren't these questions asked when the man is obese?

 

 

 If you get your weight down and have more prospects for relationships with men, don't blame them for not seeing past your problems.   Blame yourself for not making yourself as healthy and attractive as you are capable of making yourself.   Appearance plays a role in mate selection for many reasons and to a certain extent it's hard-wired and unconsciously applied to prospects.
 
January 31, 2007, 7:29 am CST

Again,

Quote From: powers009

Yes she had curves and some of the models they used were reported as being over 200 pounds. They used corsets to achieve the wasp waist. As far as morbidly obese goes maybe not but to look at those models compared with the models of today I find it strange how the times have changed. The models of the late 1890's were by no means skinny. Just the same as when we entered the 1950's actresses like Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were seen as ideal. These days in Hollywood that type of actress is seen as obese. Look at Halle Berry and Kate Winslett these two are seen as full figured. That makes me laugh.
 Gibson girls were tall, curvy and slender,  and active and somewhat athletic,  in addition to having achingly beautiful faces.  They were not obese, even when compared to  today's  "Paris Skellington" standards of beauty.
 
January 31, 2007, 8:05 am CST

Not all

Quote From: flthomcat

I have found the same thing w/ black men....and add Hispanic men to that list as well! But, having been married to a great white guy for 17 years, I just simply sit back and enjoy the attention:)
Hispanics like big women. My daughter dated a Hispanic guy who was about 5'4" and weighted about 300 pounds. He told her she was getting fat. She weighed about 125 and is 5'3". He told me he'd never go with a fat girl.  And so far he hasn't.  All black men don't either,  Phillip's  brother Paul thinks big people are disgusting.
 
January 31, 2007, 8:08 am CST

01/31 Big Love

Quote From: swchick

 Gibson girls were tall, curvy and slender,  and active and somewhat athletic,  in addition to having achingly beautiful faces.  They were not obese, even when compared to  today's  "Paris Skellington" standards of beauty.
I did not say they were obese because at 200 pounds someone who is 6 feet tall is not obese. Maybe too heavy depending on their bone structure but obese no. They were however full figured and not what by todays standards is considered the "desired" body type. Like many have been pointing out it is the figure that appears like it has been strung out on heroin that seems to be the one being desired. My point is to say that we have not always been a society bent on thin is in. There was a time when thin was thought of in a very unfavorable way as heaviness symbolized wealth. I mean if you could afford to eat to the point of great size you had to have money.
 
January 31, 2007, 8:08 am CST

Self Gratification

It was difficult to watch the self-centerness of those looking for "Big Women".  If you listened carefully, each man described only what need a "Big Women" did for him.  If anyone at all had your best interest at heart, you would be encouraged to loose weight.  Not because of what society thinks is acceptable, but from a medical standpoint.  I would like to challenge any person that prefers an overweight / obese person as a partner to read up on the health risk that is a real part of these "Big Women".  The medical cost could wipe out everything they have worked for.  How much will these guys want to squeeze up to "Big Women" when they are attached to oxygen or ventilator because of pulmonary complications and can not breath.  The loss of foot or legs because of their increased risk of diabeties and poor circulation.  Having to be pushed around in a wheel chair because their weight prevents them from standing or walking.  As a nurse I have seen it all happen.  Surgery for weight loss is not the solution.  The reality of surgery as a option increases "Big Women" risk of death.  Finally, the health care industry has an increased risk of injury and are leaving the field because of "Big Women" need for care.  When a patients weights twice as much or more than the person attempting to care for them, where is that guy that loves "Big Women"???
 
January 31, 2007, 8:21 am CST

why people can be so rude

Quote From: gwarrior6

Not only do white men want broomsticks with large boobs, they want BLONDE sticks.  It's the Abercrombie Syndrome.  They have to box perfection before they take it home to meet the parents.  Why are heroin addict-thin white women the only standard of beauty?  Most white women I meet don't even fit that standard- not 60 lbs, not platinum blonde, and actually have a personality and brains.  It's time to evolve our standard of beauty-take note Hollywood!

                      

 

 

                                         i never can under why people can be so rude to other about there wieght .

                                         make fun of them for how they are . maybe they want to be big .i know

                                          what it is like to be big and have everyone look at u and make fun of u it

                                           hurts .  i lost my wieght for many reasons but to make fun of people who

                                           are over and need help and can find the is wrong. clean ur doorstep

                                           off before cleaning someone else doorstep off. do not want to get made

                                             fun of then do not make fun of people cause it leaves a scar that never

                                             heals right. so next you would like to make fun of someone who

                                              is big or fat take a look in the mirror at yourself first before you take

                                              that to call them names.

 
January 31, 2007, 8:25 am CST

on the fense

i personally dont think bigger people are ignored in society. i think that bigger people are not as self confident with how they are so they make themselves invisiable. I am a thick girl and i have excepted that so you can ignore someone who lives life to the fullest and except themselves. i feel like if you except yourself in the preasent so will everyone else.
 
January 31, 2007, 8:28 am CST

THANKFUL

Hello Everyone! I am a 30 yr old BBW (size 20). Not that it even matters but I figured I'd share. I always grew up the biggest one in the class and the biggest Girl in the family. When my Mom would take me shopping it was hard being so large and try to look nice and acceptable at school. No matter what I was proud of who I was but I still have my "FAT DAYS". When I was 21 yrs old a friend of mine asked me to go out to some party in New York City. Well I go and there is nothing but larger size women. I said what is this? I was finally introduced in my NEW WORLD. A world that accepted me for me no matter what my size. I was glad to go and wear cute shirts like the smaller size girls wear to clubs. I was glad to know the people there were accepting of everything and everyone. I always had a great time. I can say from the moment on my life was different. A world apart from society that allowed me to have FUN. I made so many great friends and met so many great people. I've been to many BBW parties in NY, NJ, Connecticut, & Ohio. I recently moved to North Carolina and there is NOTHING here. I did create my own yahoo group called CHARLOTTE BBW FRIENDS with hopes one day I can introduce everyone to the parties and excitement I was introduced into when I was 21. I even modeled plus size clothing at the parties for fun. It was something I always wanted to do and I did it. I even met my husband at the club and am thankful today for his acceptance of me and the love he gives me. We both are larger size people and we both work together to keep our weight down its nice.
So, if anyone reads this and wants to join the yahoo group and help me get a party started then please email me.

Otherwise, I want to thank DR. PHIL for even having a show like this.

 
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