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Topic : 07/18 Fatal Attraction?

Number of Replies: 171
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:51:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/29/07) Everyone wants to be loved, but what happens when being the object of someone's affection turns creepy or even fatal? Celebrities are not the only targets – stalkers can be found in any neighborhood and town. Michelle says her ex-boyfriend, Melvin, is obsessed with her, and she fears for her life. Melvin admits he constantly thinks about Michelle and can't live without her in his life, but he says he gets mixed messages from her. Find out the extremes Melvin has gone to in his relationship with Michelle, and why his actions prevented him from coming to Los Angeles for the taping of the show. And, why does Dr. Phil tell Michelle she's playing with fire? Then, Katrina has been infatuated with rap star, Jay-Z, for the last three years. She sends him 200 e-mails a day, has called him over 300 times and has even tried to befriend his best friend and sister. She is convinced that if Jay-Z met her, he would want to be with her, but is she willing to risk jail time just to get close to him? And, meet a Hollywood actress who was stalked on the big screen … and then in real life. Why does she fear her stalker may strike again? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2007 Show Boards.

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January 29, 2007, 10:59 am CST


Quote From: kleesun

These shows just amaze me.  What are people thinking??


And why do women always seem to have kids with these guys?  He's controlling, he's abusive, he's scary, the whole situation is completely dysfunctional . . . hey--let's drag a helpless kid into the mess, too!  I would be disappointed enough in myself if I allowed someone to treat me like that; I would never forgive myself for putting children though it, as well.

I totally agree about having children with these types of men.  And Katrina HAS MORE THAN ONE CHILD with this guy.  Didn't she think that when he kicked her in the stomach when she was pregnant that this was a sign she should get out of the relationship immediately?????
January 29, 2007, 11:02 am CST

Can happen to anyone

I discovered I was being stalked last spring by a man I had never met.


I go downtown to the federal building every weekday morning to get my business' mail from the post office box.  Driving back uptown to my office I always noticed an older man (learned he is 62) that would always pull beside me at a particular stop light.  At first it seemed to be a coincidence, didn't really strike me as unusual.  And then after a couple of months of this he started to follow me uptown but always proceeded on once I turned off at my block.  Then after another month of this I noticed that he would circle the federal building until I came back out and got into my car.  This struck me as odd but again I ignored him and went about my day.


Eventually after another month of this behavior I found him not only following me up the hill but turning just a block later than I turn and circling my office.  Needless to say this scared me a great deal since I run a marketing office and work mostly alone or occasionally with one other person in the office. 


So I turned the tables on this guy.  I changed my time schedule to be just 15 minutes earlier in the morning and I was the one who circled the federal building, waiting to see his car.  I then followed him and got his license plate number.  Obviously he noticed.


The next day again, he was there but now in a different car, so again I followed him, at a distance of course, and took this license plate number.  I took both license plate numbers and called my friend, the lieutenant of the detectives for the local police, and had him run the numbers. 


My friend then called me and asked if some detectives could follow me the next couple of days to establish a pattern of behavior for this guy........which they did.  My detective friend called me after the second day and said they were going to stop him the next day and "talk" to him, to see why he was following me.  So the next day I went about my business as usual not noticing any detectives around the federal building but then I guess they shouldn't be obvious to the untrained eye. 


About an hour after I arrived at work, two HUGE, young detectives arrived to tell me about their discussion.  Evidently this guy would take people to the west side of town early in the morning and he was supposed to take them back home later in the morning....don't' know why, don't care why.  He was using me to occupy his time in between.  He didn't even realize he was doing anything wrong from what the detectives told me.  But they did say they had scared the bejeezus out of him and doubted that I would see him again down town.  They also told him if he was ever within 500 yards of me or my office they would arrest him for stalking.  Needless to say I've never seen him again.


But I can't tell you how this affected me.  I find myself looking over my shoulder for no reason and altering my schedule so I no longer do things at the same time every day.  It's funny how it's so easy to learn someone's schedule with so little effort.  I now try to take notice of people around me and I always look them straight in the eye when I pass them on the street.  I want them to know that I'm aware that they are there.  This man invaded my life without invitation or purpose.  He made me feel vulnerable and scared and I don't like it one bit.  Not one day goes by that I don't think about what could have happened if I hadn't noticed his behavior and had it stopped.  Maybe he was harmless, but then again maybe he wasn't.


These stalkers need to understand that they have no right to amuse themselves at someone else's expense.  Melvin and Katrina are uninvited and unwanted and should be stopped.  This is a crime that permeates every minute of the victim's life and it's cruel. 

January 29, 2007, 11:13 am CST

for littlecountry

Quote From: littlecountry

  There is a police officer where I live that drives me CRAZY. All I want to do is BE FRIENDS! He wants more! He goes to my neighbors and tells them how much he wants me and he just can't seem to get me out of his  mind. I have not sent him mixed messages or anything else. I try not to answer my phone or my door now unless I know who is there. He comes on at 2 in the afternoon and I try NOT to go outside of my house due to the fact if he sees me, he will pull up in my yard and talk for 2-3 hours! Our small town is paying him to talk to me and my neighbors for sitting in or at our house for nearly 5 hours a day, talking. I do not want to go to the cheif of police because he will not and can not keep his mouth SHUT!!!! I am also afraid this man will retalleate and start giving my kids and family trumped up tickets. I don't want any trouble and have only told one sister about this. She says to  ignore him but that is not easy and she DOES NOT understand. He goes up and down my  street like what seems like a hundred times constantly! I do not feel fear of him but rather bothered by him. I like the man as a friend ONLY but I am begining to not even want him to be a friend.

  One of my daughters has decided I need someone and since heis NOT married and has some money, he is the one. My neighbors seem to think so too. I have told them that he is not the kind of man I want. He is nice and kind but there is NOTHING THERE and I want all of them to tend to their own business and I want him to LEAVE ME ALONE! He is 60 and I will be 54 in March.  I mafde a HUGE mistake and went out to eat with him ONE time because everyone begged me to. Now I cant shake him loose. ANY suggestions?

Hi littlecountry, I think that you are honestly being terrorized and that you should consider talking with a lawyer.  He is abusing his power as a law enforcement officer but he is not above the law.  A lawyer can advise you about your options, like gathering evidence such as videotaping his behavior (going up and down your street is stalking behavior).  You might be able to get a restraining order or file a complaint. 

You don't necessarily have to go to a lawyer in your small town either, if you are afraid of retaliation.  The first step would be to set up an appointment and get some legal advice.

You don't have to live in fear - the law is there to protect you. 
January 29, 2007, 11:56 am CST

book - Dangerous Relationships by Noelle Nelson

book that deals with the topic of the show - Dangerous Relationships: How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship by Noelle Nelson (1997)
January 29, 2007, 11:58 am CST

hey can u helpme out plz?

Quote From: dmm42759

I agree.  And as for that they can act and sing, most of them do not even do that very well. They are celebrities because of the way they look.  I would look great too if I had my make up done, my hair done, a personal trainer, the time to work out, a chef to cook my low fat low carb meals, a maid to clean my house and a nanny to watch my kids.
i got question for u.  The story last week got me wondering this more and more.  THe identity show last week got me wondering bout my own daughter.  She knows who she of course.  She now 6 and starting to develop in certain areas.  Especially lately i noticed when bathing her she starting to get breast tissue already.  I dont understand that bc i didnt start that early nor did my mom.  To answer one question u have-=NO she not over weight.   SHe typical height, weighty for her age.  I feed her normal diet like most preppy parents feed their kids.  She always eats everything on her plate and does drink at least one glass milk every day.  Could the factors be contributing to her hormones or could she just be entering puberty extra EXTRA?? early??  I did talk to to pediatrician bout  it and he didnt have much comment bout it.  Though he hasnt seen her since oct 06 so maybe in his mind she gain extra weight.  Which she didnt do.  She bout 4  1/2 feet tall and bout 60lbs.  Any ideas, suggestions??  My daughter has asked some questions regarding her developing lately and have no answers yet,.. i usually just change the subject to avoid the situation..  aANY TIPS FOR THIS  NEW MOM??
January 29, 2007, 12:22 pm CST

extremely creepy

I recently had to leave my job because of a guy who was stalking me.  He would read my work emails, question me on them. He once threathend me with emails.  Since he worked int the IT dept. he said that it was his job to read employees emails.  We had over 350 employees and I can assure you, I never sent anything in a sexual nature via work email.  However, he stated that I did but did not tell me over an email, he said that he had to speak with me in private.  I agreed and told him that he had to come over to the office I was in.  I had several other people in the office at the time.  Once he told me about the emails, I in turn emailed him and asked him to show me the emails.  He stated that they were encrypted and could not be read.  You know why they could not be read? because they never existed in the first place.   He would hang around my office pretending to be working.  He would wait for me to leave the office each day so that he could follow me or so he could sit at my desk and look through my things, emails.  He deliberatly erased some of my work involving government information and nothing was done.    He would send me text messages, call me, and when I would go into work on weekends to catch up on my work, he would show up and ask me for hugs and kisses.  Needless to say, I stopped going to work on weekends.   I never ever showed interest in him and when he would ask me out, I would decline.  I told my supervisor as well as his supervisor and nothing was done.  I had to leave my job because I was so stressed out because of it all.  I cannot believe that people get away with this.   I cannot believe that companies allow this kind of thing to happen. 

January 29, 2007, 12:45 pm CST

Fatal Attraction

     I, thank God, have never been stalked and i feel really uneasy about these situations presented on the show.  If i was Michelle, being held wih a knife to the throat would have really made me realise that Melvin would easily kill me in a fit of rage or blackout.  Michelle has to think of her children first.  Who would look after them if he killed her.  They are Melvin's children too and both need to address this dead-end relationship.  Michelle needs to stop giving him mixed feelings as Melvin thinks that its ok to carry on their ways.  It's good that Melvin is getting help and Michelle too.  I just hope they will listen to this help and follow it. As for Katrina, she really needs to persist with Dr.Phil's help as she will end up in jail and end up nowhere good in life.
January 29, 2007, 12:45 pm CST


I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years. He beat me almost everyday. He ended up breaking my jaw. I thank GOD everyday I never had children with this monster. There are reasons why people are like this. The people they are abusing are scared, confused and feel a sense a loss. They love the good in them but when the rage comes out they get scared.. Gotta go
January 29, 2007, 12:52 pm CST

The Fanatic

She did NOT come on your show to get help.  Hello! She thinks JayZ will see her on the show and fall madly in love with her.  You missed the boat on this one.  You can see with every warning you give her, her eyes are darting all over.  when the Procescuter tried to talk sense to her, she told the prosecutor that JayZ will not marry Bionce', then turned to you and said she would agree to get counseling.  She has NOT admitted what she is doing is wrong, because she is seeing herself on TV and is waiting for a response.  You know it's true. 
January 29, 2007, 1:00 pm CST

Some People Get Off On Danger ... Michele One?

For all the horrible ways Marvin has treated Michelle she still ends up at his door for a 'booty call'  - and says that she does love him but wishes things could be better -- I think she wishes that he would have allowed her a little more freedom to go out with her friends and wear nicer more attractive clothes then things would be ok. And maybe there's a convenience thing there too - she had him come and pick her up and take her to the airport for cripes sake.


I agree that she is putting her children at risk - and also subjecting them to very unhealthy and dangereous situations.


She needs to re-prioritize - booty calls come last - her kids come first. 

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