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Topic : 08/15 Rude and Crude People

Number of Replies: 258
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:28:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/25/07) Have you had it with a rude and crude relative or friend? Or do people incorrectly label you as one? Sisters Alex and Melissa say they can't understand why people perceive them as arrogant snobs. According to them, they are just confident models, and "Plain Janes” misinterpret their actions and are threatened by them. They say they want to change their ways, but when Dr. Phil puts them to the test, will they accept the challenge? Then, Jennifer says her husband of three years, Billy, is the crudest of them all. He wears t-shirts with obscene language, calls his wife names and teaches their kids to swear. She says his behavior has grown so bad that if he doesn’t change, she’s going to walk out the door. Why does Billy say it's all Jennifer's fault? Can Billy learn to clean up his act to save his marriage? Tell us what you think.

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August 16, 2007, 10:44 am CDT

Jennifer and Billy

Quote From: housewife52

In your opinion, why did Jennifer come on the show in the first place?


I am so upset still with this story of Jennifer and Billy. Why doesn't anyone see the extreme mental abuse that is going on her and have these kids taken away from there parents. They need love, nurturing, caring, kindness, security etc.... I feel so sorry for the abuse these kids are going through. Where is child protective services???? These kids are going to be so messed up if they stay in this environment. How can we all just watch and see this happen. She must leave him now ( just do it) and get help for herself. Then maybe the kids can heal. He is a case that you can see clearly he will not change, even if he says he wants to.


I also have to ask Jennifer, how can you stay in this relationship and tolerate this behavior in front of your kids. JUST LEAVE. You will see over time how much better you all will be. Stop talking and nagging( as he says) and just leave him. Also why are you doing so much for him?????What does he do for you and the kids. My husband is loving, kind, caring, helps with the chores, brings me flowers etc.. Don't you deserve someone like that sometime in the future when you kids have all healed.

August 16, 2007, 8:23 pm CDT

We started it.

Quote From: gwarrior6

I was in a department store buying clothes.  I went to find a dressing room and there were two girls in front of the three-sided mirror just standing in front of and blocking one of the rooms.  They were talking about how her butt fit in jeans, blah blah blah.  I said "Excuse me", but they ignored me.   I stood there for all but 30 seconds before i saw red!  I have a type A personality, so i wasn't having it.  I pushed the little one out of my way as I took my rightful place in the dressing room.  As I walked by, the little b&*# said "Excuse you", like it was MY fault that she's self absorbed.   The rude only respond to rudeness.  You pretty much have to smack them upside the head before they get it.  I think of it as teaching them a lesson.  They need manners worse than anything else.
i realize this is not what you want to hear, but near as I can figure it is just that.  Now do not get upset, this thing that we started was with good intentions.  Remember when the parents or our elders, who we respected without question, would say "I am going to make sure my kids get all of the things that I never had as a kid growing up" or something to that effect.  Well folks that is right where it all started.  There mind set should have been "I am going to make sure my kids know the value hard work a varied education, not what they teach in school that is for sure, so that they will be as productive and responsible, as I, with the time they have been allotted.  I realize that this is statement is verbose and not really in the realm of thinking back then.  How dare I say such a thing, that out parents could not even think like that, come on you are kidding yourself if you think it would have been possible.  My father was as smart as Albert Einstein, as great an artist as Leonardo de Vinci, he worked harder and longer than any ten men in their thirties and forties today, I am talking when my father was in his sixties and seventies.  How is this possible you say, easy that was the way he was brought up and the circumstances that played out in his life in the sequence they did.  I know that there were plenty of other men of his generation that were the same as he.  Yes his generation had it's share of flakes I know.  The thing this RANT (thank you Dennis Miller) is about, common sense, personal pride in one's own self and not how are we perceived by others, but by our ultimate teacher.  This teacher might be a religious representation of the almighty, or it could be as it is with me my parents.  I know I am the luckiest person alive to have been raised by my parents and if I had one wish it would be equal opportunity for all to have the same parents as mine.  Not my childhood though, born in 1927, I survived TB and Scoliosis (my proper height would have been approx. 5 feet 7 inches, I never reached that, right now I am 5 feet 1/2 inch) during my teen years.   
August 17, 2007, 1:07 pm CDT

Melissa and Alex

Alex should have taken the challenge. Melissa would look attractive in a potatoe sack. Some people have it and some don't. I hope she/they can realize what a positive impact they can have- a la Angelina Jolie.
August 17, 2007, 1:49 pm CDT

08/15 Rude and Crude People

Quote From: luannet

I watched the first half of the show with the 2 sisters.  Like Dr. Phil, I wasn't really sure what they were trying to say.  They want to stop being rude?  That should be easy enough, they want the world to stop being rude?  Good luck on that. 


I am beautiful, AND hard of hearing, and have been told by people that I come off as a snob sometimes.  We must talk face to face, I depend on lip reading more than I realize.  If you try to talk to me with my back to you, I will not hear.  Once at a yard sale a man was being quite rude to me, I could see my son was really offended by this, I finally said "Sir, is there a problem?"  and he informed me that if I was not going to acknowledge him, he would not acknowledge me......oh, so I explained the situation and he shrugged me was odd.  But people can be odd, can't win them all over.  I've been told, by rude people, that I don't listen, I don't pay attention, etc.  My own family is the worst, doctors are awful, and people that talk while munching on crunchy snacks are very hard for me to hear... What I notice in the world is the lack of eye contact, I require it, and now start conversations with "I'm hard of hearing so please look directly at me when you speak".  Many people just can NOT do it. 


As far as the "strut" goes, what's wrong with that?  Good posture is a wonderful thing to embrace.   There's a great C.S. Lewis quote which I will not perfect, but it's something like "it's absurd for a beautiful woman to pretend she is not", I am physically a beautiful woman, based on the fact that I look like my mother, who is also a beautiful woman, so what do you want me to do about that?  Rude and certainly crude, will undo beauty in a second, so if these girls want to stay beautiful, they will "nice up".   


What else, a man teaching his son bad language?  I call that classic redneck and felt no need to watch that portion of the show. 

Love, Luanne 

What...because the second portion of the show wasn't "beauty" related, it isn't worth your time or attention? I get so sick of the "redneck" label that I want to gag sometimes. There are men of all social stature that exhibit these kinds of behaviors. "Reneck" or not. Bad attitudes are bad attitudes, regardless of demographics.

Rudeness is something that spans all social classifications, appearances, and ages. These people shoulda had my mama...they'd think twice........

August 20, 2007, 6:21 am CDT

Dr. the mark

OK, I don't feel the real issue was addressed with the two girls at the beginning.  I feel the blonde girl was hurt in her past by people when she was nice, and that has caused her to build up a guard that people think is snobby.  I don't think Dr. Phil really helped the deeper issue.

I know from experience I've tried to be nice to some people.  I've tried to start conversations and be friendly with many other women my age, but many of them do not recipricate.  I think I exude a friendly personality, but are sometimes met with unfriendly faces.  Now, this is not with all people. I realize now that only really open, confident, comfortable with themselves people want to hang.  Sometimes, a smile does not go a long way.  Maybe she needs to see that people who discount her aren't worth having as friends anyways.
August 20, 2007, 10:16 am CDT

how about wreckless

Quote From: ricschic

What...because the second portion of the show wasn't "beauty" related, it isn't worth your time or attention? I get so sick of the "redneck" label that I want to gag sometimes. There are men of all social stature that exhibit these kinds of behaviors. "Reneck" or not. Bad attitudes are bad attitudes, regardless of demographics.

Rudeness is something that spans all social classifications, appearances, and ages. These people shoulda had my mama...they'd think twice........

I'm not sure how I applied demographics to my comment, in fact, I would agree with you.  Instead of "redneck", let's say "folks with a wreckless disregard for the feelings or safety of others".  (?), is that better?  Some may appear attractive, but not for long....

Wreckless spans all social groups, and includes anyone abusive, raging drivers, extreme prejudice, and zero manners...on a global basis.

Love, Luanne


August 22, 2007, 12:00 pm CDT

I have a very polite teen

Quote From: powers009

My biggest pet peeve is rude people. They are no better than the excrement that comes from my dog. Rude people need a reality check. It seems that teen girls think the world revolves around them. Oh well for all the parents out there with girls like these it reflects on how they are raised.

Not all teen girls are rude.  My 13 year old girl is very sweet natured and polite with everyone in public.  Sometimes I've learned to me more polite from her.  She'll be the first one to say "excuse me" in a store if she bumps into someone and when an elderly person needs help reaching something on the shelf she is automatically asking them if she can assist them.  I'm really proud of her and wonder how she became so polite.  I will say excuse me to people but I'm not as friendly as she is.  I think part of it is how you're raised and part of it is generational and part of it is personality. 
August 27, 2007, 3:38 pm CDT

Gonna give the nun hell!!

Regarding Rude n Crude story #2 entitled " My Husband is My Fourth Child" -- Billy taught his kids to use profanity, even laughed when they swore at their mom. Dr Phil pointed out to him that the kids might swear at their teachers some day and they might get in trouble for it. That's what happened to me one day in the Fall of 1962; it left a vivid impression that was had to live down.   My second grade teacher, Sister Victorene, was a strict, bitter, and joyless soul. When she ritually paced the aisles of the classroom in those deliberate footsteps, she would come around in back of me (especially during spelling class) and paused to hover. I'd freeze up; or sometimes jump if concentrating too hard and didn't know she was there. (As the proverb aptly describes, I became 'more nervous than a cat in a room full of rockers'!)  On some of her passes she began openly announcing to the class that if I didn't do better on my spelling, she was going to keep me afterschool (as a punishment).   My mind and my stomach were a yarnball of turmoil!  What was I to do? My parents didn't own a car; it was getting dark earlier at night. I lived too far from school to walk and didn't think I could find my way home by myself.   At home that night, I was afraid to tell my mom what the teacher said, but had to. She heated up and ranted about it for a while!  With final decision, my mom raised her voice, pointed her finger at me and gave the instruction, "You tell HER that 'if she DARES to keep you after school, I'm GONNA GIVE HER HELL!!"...   Yep...the very next day.  When Sr Victorene came up the aisle in her usual manner and taunted me with her usual announcement to the class (that she was gonna keep me afterschool), I raised my hand and waited for permission to speak. I stood up and repeated my mother's message, using exact words I'd been given to say: "Sister, my mother said to tell you that if you DARE keep me after school, SHE'S gonna give you HELL!!"  (I think the teacher gasped but didn't say a word). With the message delivered, I sat down, relieved. I turned all my concentration back on the work--writing on my paper-- and basically forgot she was there.   The next thing I remember was the end of recess. The nun rang a large handbell, signalling that recess was over. Children scrambled to find their spot--at our school every grade had their assigned place of assembly.   As an unusual happening, the Sister Superior herself [superintendant]  came to inspect the neatly organized lines of children. My second grade teacher Sister Victorene stood all puffed up, shoulder to shoulder, with Sister Superior. Off in the background I caught a glimpse of a figure scooting away -- it was my old first grade teacher Sister Bernadette. Noticing that we had all been standing there an awfully long extra time today, I reasoned that it was probably because of Sister Superior's visit.    Then I heard someone call out my name. Sister Superior motioned with a vigorous hand-signal for me to come forth. She positioned where and how for me to stand. Then in front of the WHOLE school, her arm went back and she slapped me hard across the face; I couldn't understand the words she was shouting at me.  That's when I caught up --she was upset with me that I had repeated what my mother said to tell my teacher if and when she threatened to keep me afterschool again.   My heart went to pieces. I was incredibly heartbroken, distraught--crying inconsolably. I felt I was innocent!  I did what my mother told me to do, and now they were punishing me.  Couldn't get the pain of that brokenheart to stop pulsing and the crying to stop itself--it was sooo rending.    We were all dismissed to our classrooms. As I climbed the stairs in line with other students marching, Sr Bernadette came alongside me in surprise--I still couldn't stop sobbing. She put her arm around my waist, and pulled me close as we climbed. She apologized for what was happening to me. In a protective compassionate move, Sr Bernadette dared to speak up for me, and told the other nuns I would be in HER classroom for the rest of the day. (In fact, I was allowed to spend a few days there--until I felt ready to go back.)
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