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Topic : 01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:21:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The story continues with Alex, a 14-year-old girl who moved into The Dr. Phil House with her mom, grandmother and aunt. Alex’s family asked Dr. Phil to intervene because they couldn’t stop Alex from prostituting herself to older men. Dr. Phil confronts Alex’s aunt, Enza, and her mother, Kim, about how their venomous relationship is affecting Alex and leading her to turn to men for comfort. Enza apologizes for her behavior with Alex, and finds a new ally in the house, against Kim’s mother, Jeanette. Jeanette overhears a discussion about her and angrily informs Kim that she will find a new place to live. After confiscating Alex’s cell phone, Kim listens to a voicemail from an older man, trying to contact Alex for sex. Private investigator, Harold Copus, meets with Alex and gets information on the older men she says she’s been with, so they can be taken off the streets. On their last day in the House, Dr. Phil breaks the news to Alex that she won’t be returning home with her family. Find out where she’s going and what makes her break down in tears. Then, talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 23, 2007, 5:24 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: shoyt_2001

 Enza should be banned from the house.   They should have a restraining order to keep her away from the Grandmother, Mother and Daughter.  Enza lives to create these drama situations and she cannot stop herself.  No one is safe around her because she is manipulative and will not give it up.  When the daughter returns to the mother they should move as far away from Enza as they can get. 

If they take Enza out, the Mother and Grandmother will use her to blame for the problems.

They all blame each other already, bouncing back and forth with it?

Mother: has Grandmom monitoring, taking care of children and house and holding her responsible for the problems when monitoring don't work on children that is not forced to respect her but she is left in charge of and responsible for?  A sister who she blames now because her envolvement in the daughters life didn't fix things instead brought more argueing?

At least the child is talking openly with Enza, trusting and most the information was obtained through Enza?  She is wrong on many aspects but she is there and taking her away leaves a Mother who holds the Grandmother responsible for monitoring disrespectful kids?

I see them all in a battle of blaming, accusing and not doing the roles they should be in?

 
January 23, 2007, 5:32 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: fancy243

 Well Dr. Phil never ceases to amaze me! I think there was much progress made today! There wasn't has much yelling, more sharing and more communication. It was a step in the right direction. I was pleased to see both women taking some responsibility for their bad behavior.

 As far as Enza being a manipulator, it does appear she is, but in her defense it is a pattern I am sure she has been doing for a very long time. She and Kim can't change over night. All of these bad behaviors will take therapy and practice. I have changed my view  about Enza. Her heart appears to be in the right place, she, like all of the women need communications skills.

 I too, have some of the same problems, and I know how hard it is to change old bad habits. I am so much more hopeful for this family after todays show. I pray for the family and everyone involved!

 My heart did ache for Alex. I know she must be frightened, but hooray for Kim for doing the right thing. Alex will see that in the long run it is for the best.

 As for Jeanette...I must be very careful addressing this problem. I have a mother very similar. Boundaries is the best solution for that situation.

Again, thumbs up to Dr. Phil and his staff!!!!

I seen alot of what you did and my daughter is very close to her Aunt who is not always a good influence but I am glad she has her.  An Aunt should be an active part of childrens lives, they are a good source to go to when Mom aint?  I seen grandma as being held to way too high a standard when the Mom and Aunt was unable to have thier own higher standard?

I didn't see her needing more boundaries, she is taking care of the kids and house, suppose to monitor teenagers?  Uggg  sad a grandma has to do that and not get enforced respect to her?

hard job I'd say, she is the one who should run away, show them what its like to take care fo the kids themselves and not have her as a escape goat? Plus she wouldn't be there on them many weekends for Mom to go out drinking?

 
January 23, 2007, 5:41 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: miwokuna

Oh my gosh... Is there anyone out there, besides myself,  that's "seeing"their own family???   With the exception of troubles Alex has got into.    My daughter did get preg. at 16-which I handled just fine I think.    She married the daddy and now I have a wonderful 11 year old grandaughter. Thats about the only difference.... The mom is like mine,and Enza is my younger sister[9 yrs. to a T.....  It's so unreal to sit here and have so-o-o-o many flashes going on........

I did, I have had the misfortune to have to get envolved when one of my sisters was not taking care of her children.  An Aunt loves her nieces and nephews, they are the next thing to your own because of the sibling bond.  It is very frustrating and a battle of mixed mungled emotions.

Children are best helped when in postions of abuse or troubles if people do get envolved.

This same sister is very close to my daughter, has better communication with her than her own daughter, its not bad for an Aunt to be involved and close.  Aunts can step in where mothers fail or are not available?  Enza needs counseled on her manners with her neice but the real problems started with the Mother not taking care,  She blamed her mother for not monitoring the kids better yet did not make the children respect her?  Sad!  A grandmother should be able to enjoy her Grandkids not be the replacement for the parents who are not doign their job?

I would not handle things as Enza has nor speak as she did. I do understand the feelings toward neices and nephews though, it is a very strong bond.

It would be sad to have this young girl loose any of these adults in her her life now.

there is two other children, it is best to fix the problems there now.

 
January 23, 2007, 5:48 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: redhedlisa

The mom is a promiscuous alcoholic.  Doesn't anyone think the mom is 99% of the problem?!?!?!?

Me !  I had an alcoholic, permiscuous Mother, they are good at being silent when others are blamed, blame others whle they really are only thinking about the next drink.

I would bet the children have seen men around too often, too important to Mom and seeing a drunk Mom even only on the weekends is hard to handle as a child and a horrible example.

grandma is the one home so she can go out, have someone to blame and not get respected?

I think it will come out that this young girl has been sexually abused, thats the usual problem behind the kind of sexual deviance she has. 

 
January 23, 2007, 5:52 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: bwmcalexander

This is really annoying the heck out of me.  How can they ignore the dad in this story?  Darn it somebody from the show answer that question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am sure there are people reading this board that know this family.  Whats the story with the invisible, non-existant dad??????????

 

Darn it Dr. Phil, that is a huge part of the puzzle here.  How can you leave that out?

Didn't Kim say she choose to be a single mother?  Maybe she was artificially inseminated. 

 
January 23, 2007, 6:07 am CST

Don't miss the sarcasm here

Quote From: lakerman

I know Enza has taken a lot of heat on this board but I must say that she is an incredibly beautiful woman, stunning in fact. I am just mesmerized by her. I trully think she cares a great deal for Alex and that a lot of this board has gotten invovled with a lot of jealousy of her. She is a passionate woman who puts her heart above pretense. I find that admirable.

 

Brad

I congratulate you Brad on your penetrating insight. How could we possibly have missed the fact that all we are is jealous of Enza’s stunning beauty that has Brad mesmerized.  LMFAO JJJJ and not the fact that she is a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

 
January 23, 2007, 6:15 am CST

like an abusive marriage-only between siblings

Quote From: kec132

you know who keeps inviting her in??  Kim.  You know who keeps sending Alex to spend weekends with Enza?/ That would be Kim - again.  You know who is now blaming Jeanette but still doesn't want to have her move away? That would be Kim again.

 

Kim is really a trip - she's perfected functioning alcoholism down pat -- nothing is ever her fault and its someone/anyone esle's fault when something goes wrong. Gee - how convenient.

I believe that the relationship between Kim and Enza has been one of abuser and abused for as long as either can remember. Kim acts like an abused spouse who, during the periods when the abuser is not on the attack, reconcile and rebond with the abuser because it's a cycle of abuse and reconciliation that's become an unhealthy bond that neither Kim nor Enza knows how to break. Of course, the one who turned a blind eye as these girls were growing up, and who didn't want to deal with it then, is Jeannette. In any case, Enza and Kim should be getting counseling separate from each other and it may be that Kim needs to sever the relationship with Enza, period. Granted, she should have done it before and she should not have allowed Alexis to have a relationship or any contact with Enza, but I think that is something she will come to realize with counseling as she learns to quit being the reconciling, placating "abused" and ban her abuser from her life.
 
January 23, 2007, 6:38 am CST

Enza

I agree, Enza should be taken completely out of the picture.  I was appalled when she was talking to Alex, while Alex was eating, and saying things something like "Other people don't think you're any good or can change, but I do."  What was that about?  Did she (Enza) think that was a positive statement?  Get her away from Alex.  Far far away.

Alex, hopefully you will earn computer privledges at the school you will be attending and be able to see how folks are praying and rooting for you to believe in and take care of yourself in a loving and respectful manner.  God Bless.

 
January 23, 2007, 6:41 am CST

Mondays show

Help!!!! I missed Mondays show. Where can I go to see it?
 
January 23, 2007, 6:50 am CST

sociopath in action

Quote From: seeyah

My god, what did you think Kim? That Enza had suddenly changed and was now a confidant to you? LMFAO. Enza is NEVER to be trusted. Dont you get that? Enza is manipulative and conningone of the key characteristics of a bully. They never recognize the rights of others and they see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. Kim, you allowed yourself to be USED by Enza to betray your mother.

 

They may dominate and humiliate their victims. Can someone please explain to me how Enza talking in her sickly sweet baby voice showing Alex how to use a knife and a fork was doing anything other than dominating and humiliating everyone, most especially Alex. She was saying that in all Alexs 14 years on earth no one had ever bothered to show her how to use a knife and fork? Talk about neglect, and all the while insinuating that if Alex used a knife and fork she would eat less. Uh huh. Its very hard to believe that Enza or anyone else is so totally oblivious to her real motivation.

 

Jeanette you hit the nail right on the head when you said Enza is only trying to hurt you. And my god if Enza didnt just lie outright to you and say, I am not trying to hurt you. Then behind your back calling you a hateful old witch and all the while trying to get Kim to admit that you, Jeanette, are the problem. If that isnt trying to hurt someone Enza Dearest can you please explain to me what you consider is trying to hurt someone? 

 

Kim for crying out loud whatever problem it is that Enza has, it isnt solved quickly, if ever. You were so easily sucked in by Enza it was downright frightening. She is NOT your friend and definitely never your confidant.    

I agree with everything you say. And it absolutely AMAZES me that Dr. Phil suggested Enza should remain ANY kind of influence on Alex. Someone like Enza doesn't turn around overnight -- or ever. Over and over she demonstrates that dominating manipulativeness is the core of her being. Enza cares about Enza. Period. I think we're looking at a bona fide sociopath here, a master of manipulation via fake caring. That anyone in that house could trust her as far as they could throw her blows my mind. I don't blame Jeanette for being ready to throw in the towel on the whole mess. Frankly, I don't see much hope for this "family." The two principals, Kim and Enza show about zero self understanding. When a senior iives in a child's house she is automatically in a position of weakness. Should Jeanette interfere in her daughter's parenting decisions? Sure if she wants to be told "shut up or get out." She is powerless and knows it. Now I suppose the chorus of "it must be Grandma's fault because she screwed up raising Mom" can start. IMHO that's just buck passing. These folks need to stop looking to lay blame and deal with what is. As long as Enza is involved I think any chance for lasting change is about nil. She's got them dancing around like marionettes. Once Dr. Phil is out of the picture, look out. These people don't seem to have made any real progress. If Alex is to get her life back under control she'll have to do it at the residential school. And be ready for the worst when she returns home.
 
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