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Topic : 01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Number of Replies: 285
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:21:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The story continues with Alex, a 14-year-old girl who moved into The Dr. Phil House with her mom, grandmother and aunt. Alex’s family asked Dr. Phil to intervene because they couldn’t stop Alex from prostituting herself to older men. Dr. Phil confronts Alex’s aunt, Enza, and her mother, Kim, about how their venomous relationship is affecting Alex and leading her to turn to men for comfort. Enza apologizes for her behavior with Alex, and finds a new ally in the house, against Kim’s mother, Jeanette. Jeanette overhears a discussion about her and angrily informs Kim that she will find a new place to live. After confiscating Alex’s cell phone, Kim listens to a voicemail from an older man, trying to contact Alex for sex. Private investigator, Harold Copus, meets with Alex and gets information on the older men she says she’s been with, so they can be taken off the streets. On their last day in the House, Dr. Phil breaks the news to Alex that she won’t be returning home with her family. Find out where she’s going and what makes her break down in tears. Then, talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 23, 2007, 12:18 am CST

sable

Quote From: annalon

Sable, I feel for you. We have similar problems. Our daughter is 21 now and refuses to take her medications.  We've been to hell and back with her for the past 7 years,  therapy, meds, hospitalization in a locked unit, special programs. We are no longer young but have realized we can never retire as all our money went for her care, etc. Insurance does not fuly cover mental illnesses. And now that she is an adult she is on her own legally and cannot be covered on her father's health insurance. She, of course, cannot afford health insurance and her jobs never offer anything. She is not incompetent. Just unwell. I understand your pain that Dr. Phil is helping others and not you. Maybe someday he'll do a show on parents of adult children with mental illness. It is painful but we must accept that their lives are out of our control and we can only be there to pick up the pieces if necessary. Don't give up on your son. It's hard, but hang in there for his sake.
I feel for your also. There are agencys that can help your daughter get on  disability that can take some  of the money  stresses off of you. If you have not , check with your local mental health agency, Young adult division and let them know your situation.  Our son is on state aid. We will not  always be around and I have had lupus, sjrons sydrome, reynoids syndrome, and a horrible nerve damage problem caused by being on high steriod during a large flair up. I had shingles onthe right side of my head and neck, causing unbearable pain and finally was able to get a
nuro-stimulator implanted in my chest, like a pace maker size and then leads go  up to my head and the stimulation they give, which I can control gives me relief. It is not a cure, but it is a wonderful device that has saved my life. With all this the problems with my son of course did not ease and my husband has been great in helping and loveing me. I have a wonderful daughter and another son also who have been able to grow into wonderful people. MY children are adopted, I wasn't sick when we adopted, . So all is not negative and if it were not for my belief in God, and friends I should be out of my own mind. God gave me a sence of  humor also. And many more blessings, one other being other family,like a twin....Sorry this is so long. Thanks for your encouragement, and I  hope the suggestins help you if  you have not already looked into or tried these things. sable
 
January 23, 2007, 12:19 am CST

It's not just the aunt

    I agree that Enza is toxic, but this situation has been going on for some time. Enza is probably the one who contacted the show, that's why she's there.
    I think Enza is Kim's half sister, and lived for a time with Jeanette and Kim as a child. If I have it right.  Kim mentioned some thing that happened to her and Enza, as a child. If that is right, this is a generational thing. The behavior of Jeanette, was probably passed onto her, passed on to Kim, and now Alex has started following in the same old pattern.
    I see it as Kim n Jeanette have been trying to raise Kim's kids, Kim is probably the only child Jeanette has, or that is willing to take care of her. But at the same time, she has stepped up and is TRYING to do right, but feels so beaten down, and dis respected, that she has no voice.
   Jeanette has been a housekeeper, cook, babysitter, and all round maid, trying to help her daughter out. But if the kids won't listen to her or respect her, she needs to let them know she will not put up with the disrespect she has been getting. Maybe she should move out for a while,  but I think Kim is going to be in for A SHOCK when she get's home, and has to start doing everything her Mom did, or pay someone to do it, as well as what she see's as her job.
    I think they ALL have problems,  Alex n Enza's are just bigger and more prevalant. Who's taking care of the other kids. Kim's and Enza's? Are they going to be removed from that toxic situation too? And Alex has got to be feeling pretty ambushed about now. I hope at least SHE learns the importance of forgiveness. If they could all just forgive, they could get a handle on this. Forget what happened when, and start dealing with now! How can the situation be improved on NOW???
 I think Dr Phill has a good start, but that family is going to have to re locate. Those predators all have friends and family that aren't going to believe what their son, husband, brother, whoever, DID. They will probably be in denial about the whole thing! and out for blood.


 
January 23, 2007, 12:21 am CST

The end of the show

Is it just me or did anyone else notice Enza and Alax toward the end of the show?  I'm talking about the part of the show where these 2 are in the kitchen and Alex is trying to eat.  And "QUEEN" Enza is "TEACHING" Alax how to eat. Are you kidding me? Enza is telling that child she is such a messy eater and is always making a mess of herself.  So, not only is Enza a psycologist, a parenting coach and a social worker...she is also an etiquette teacher! LOL!!!!! Give me a break!  This woman suffers from a bad case of Narcissism. Everything is about her all the time. Enza has the attitude, "Look at me , I have all the answers. See how I'm helping you? Only I have the power to fix any situation."  Kim needs to  get a backbone! That is her child and no one elses.  If she really has Alex's best interest at heart she will take a stand and remove Enza for good!  Kim may have made bad choices in her life but I feel it is from a lack of self-esteem. And I wonder where that could have come from? Maybe Enza and her constant belittling of Kim all the time. Sounds about right to me.  If you tell someone they are stupid or worthless all the time they will eventually start to believe it.

 

Removing the child from the home was a very good idea. The child needs a break but so does the mom. Kim is overwhelmed by everything that has been happening over the years. Kim certainly needs to talk to a professional and possibly get on some medication. I think she has good intentions but is drowning. She can not seem to find the way to the surface. And Enza is the chain around Kim's ankle that won't let her get to the surface!

 

Dr. Phil, both Kim and Alex are crying out for help and I feel they BOTH need that help.  Please offer Kim professional help or nothing in that home is going to change.

 
January 23, 2007, 12:24 am CST

ha!

Quote From: kec132

you know who keeps inviting her in??  Kim.  You know who keeps sending Alex to spend weekends with Enza?/ That would be Kim - again.  You know who is now blaming Jeanette but still doesn't want to have her move away? That would be Kim again.

 

Kim is really a trip - she's perfected functioning alcoholism down pat -- nothing is ever her fault and its someone/anyone esle's fault when something goes wrong. Gee - how convenient.

Wow you talk as if you'd know them or know anything about them, Do you?

because being all the way from new york i doubt it. so why dont you stop pointing the finger unless you know what really is going on.

how convenient to talk but not know the facts...

 

Someone is really on enzas side...

Gee! who could you be?

 
January 23, 2007, 12:25 am CST

sable

Quote From: mi_lilly

I have thought the same things you have written here. I am almost 50 years old, so this has been going on for a long time. YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING! THAT IS SO GREAT!

 

I am Christian, don't have much bible study though. When I was very young, I read the part where GOD says; I AM THAT I AM, don't worry you cannot understand, just believe. I don't know why your family or mine has been put through so much pain. Sometimes it seems cruel.

 

But, GOD is not cruel, the devil is. Anyway, you have not quit and will not quit. I think you get it.

 

I taped the show today. Got home in time to see just the last 20 minutes. Do you believe I feel lucky? I hope you can see the progress you HAVE made. Your work has had results. Pat yourself on the back and smile: even just a little bit. I am going to. Then I am going to get back to work.

 I don't know who you are that has written to me, but thanks. I am almost 51, a twin, which a blessing that cannot be messured. She has family problems also. Not like mine, but I guess the point is we all do. I have many medical problems also, but a wonderful husband and angel friends I know. I don't give up because of God that is the only logical reason why. I wish though,  Jesus would come again and save us all from the suffering in our world. But no one knows the time he will do that , but him, so yes I will keep on plugging away and have tried o pay attention to the rest of our family . Thanks for your reply., Sable
 
January 23, 2007, 12:35 am CST

Get The Aunt away from them

I think the aunt is jealous and perhaps pissed off that she isn't Alex's mom. I think if she really did love Alex she wouldn't be there doing those horrible things to her, her mom and grandma. It seems she hates the mom more than she loves Alex. I have a daughter and I want to say to them that things will get better and Alex will eventually see what the Aunt is really doing. Hang in there mom!!
 
January 23, 2007, 12:39 am CST

:)

Quote From: fluffyfat

Let's not play word games; "step-child" is the proper, legal term for the children of one's spouse in a blended family. Not everyone can adopt these children. Most of them already have parents and would not take kindly to being adopted by Mom or Dad's new spouse. My (second) husband is my son's step-father. They care about each other very much but they are "steps" and there never was any question of adoption. My son's legal, biological father is alive and well and very much a part of his life. As for the unfortunate woman to whom you were responding: It sounds like she is in a very tough situation, trying to control teens who were not raised properly. It isn't easy to come into a new marriage and correct a lifetime of poor parenting.
Well said Fluffy!  I feel for this step-mom. Taking in someone else's teenage kids has to be very hard for everyone. Especially if this kid is a troubled teen. 
 
January 23, 2007, 12:42 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: fancy243

 Well Dr. Phil never ceases to amaze me! I think there was much progress made today! There wasn't has much yelling, more sharing and more communication. It was a step in the right direction. I was pleased to see both women taking some responsibility for their bad behavior.

 As far as Enza being a manipulator, it does appear she is, but in her defense it is a pattern I am sure she has been doing for a very long time. She and Kim can't change over night. All of these bad behaviors will take therapy and practice. I have changed my view  about Enza. Her heart appears to be in the right place, she, like all of the women need communications skills.

 I too, have some of the same problems, and I know how hard it is to change old bad habits. I am so much more hopeful for this family after todays show. I pray for the family and everyone involved!

 My heart did ache for Alex. I know she must be frightened, but hooray for Kim for doing the right thing. Alex will see that in the long run it is for the best.

 As for Jeanette...I must be very careful addressing this problem. I have a mother very similar. Boundaries is the best solution for that situation.

Again, thumbs up to Dr. Phil and his staff!!!!

I COULDNT AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!

 As far as Enza being a manipulator, it does appear she is, but in her defense it is a pattern I am sure she has been doing for a very long time. She and Kim can't change over night.  <-- THAT IS TRUE! AS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ITS SOO TRUE --->Her heart appears to be in the right place, she, like all of the women need communications skills.

 

GREAT COMMENT, COULDNT HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER!

 
January 23, 2007, 12:51 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: ceildh1

Okay, I'm sure now that Enza  must be reading these posts, that would explain the calm sweet, "I just want to help", persona she is now trying to portray, how swet of her to reach a fourteen year old how to use a knife and fork, how well she looked in her conservative suit, I thought I would GAG, I really don't think she's fooling ANYONE.

You know I've seen the pain the grandmother was in before.  My late FIL lived with his son and DIL for about five years before he passed, amid the chaos of four children allowed to run wild, two of them teens, he was EXPECTED to care for these children while their parents went on with their own lives, but these kids were NOT expected to respect him or listen to him, how heartbreaking is it for a grandparent to hear a grandchild tell him to F*** off ?  So Jeanette, as much as it hurts, maybe moving would be the best thing in the world for you, let those other two have each other, Kim will be crawling back when the haze clears and she finds out what Enza is all about, she obviously hasn't figured it out yet.

To talk behind anyone's back is wrong, my own philosophy is " I wouldn't say it about you if I wouldn't say it to you." And then to act so sweet and innocent to her when you were confronted, what the child is being removed so now you'll go after Kim, I don't think the vendetta is against Kim, I think it's against Jeanette, has someone done this to you and your kids ? That's why you feel the need to separate all mothers and daughters, Enza, GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, and just keep in mind, what goes around, tends to come around TENFOLD !

Not that im trying to defend enza, but Im sure Enza did not do any of that stuff because all of that stuff about her was posted. The whole show was prerecorded months ago. Just to let you know!

 

 

 Okay, I'm sure now that Enza  must be reading these posts, that would explain the calm sweet, "I just want to help", persona she is now trying to portray, how swet of her to reach a fourteen year old how to use a knife and fork, how well she looked in her conservative suit, I thought I would GAG, I really don't think she's fooling ANYONE.

 
January 23, 2007, 5:18 am CST

01/22 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: kec132

you know who keeps inviting her in??  Kim.  You know who keeps sending Alex to spend weekends with Enza?/ That would be Kim - again.  You know who is now blaming Jeanette but still doesn't want to have her move away? That would be Kim again.

 

Kim is really a trip - she's perfected functioning alcoholism down pat -- nothing is ever her fault and its someone/anyone esle's fault when something goes wrong. Gee - how convenient.

Good point!
 
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