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Topic : 01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

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Created on : Friday, January 12, 2007, 02:23:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been living in the wrong body. That’s what Dr. Phil’s first guest says happened to her. Bernadette started dressing like a boy in high school. Now 37, she wants to be referred to as Cameron, and wants her breasts surgically removed. Cameron’s mom, Antoinette, and her aunts say she’s just angry, lost and confused. Will they ever accept her decision to become a man? Then, Sylvia’s 17-year-old daughter, Gwen, was murdered when a group of boys found out that she was one of them. The grieving mother weighs in on this important discussion. And, should a high school boy who dresses like a girl be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom? That’s the issue one Florida high school faced. The boy’s lawyer and two moms from the community engage in a heated debate. Plus, Jim and Linda’s 4-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, a condition where she looks like a female on the outside, but inside, she’s an underdeveloped male. Should the parents be forced to decide Kayleigh’s gender? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 14, 2007, 9:51 am CDT


Quote From: odinsgirl

From this line of reasoning, am I to assume if you had a faulty heart, you wouldn't get a new one?  If you had an extra toe on each foot you wouldn't have it removed?  What about hermaphroditic people, should they just deal with it, and never choose a gender because God made them that way?

Do you color you hair?  Wear make-up?  Wear clothes??

Some people are simply NOT going to be happy, functional people without making the changes necessary to be who they truly are inside.  For some people, this means changing gender.

Thank you for your reply
September 14, 2007, 10:02 am CDT


Quote From: rosie52

I don't believe God creates junk either. There is nothing alive that God didn't breathe life into. You and I and everyone else were created by the same God. None of us are better than the other. God wants us to love one another and help one another. God is kind , forgiving, loving and that's how He wants us to be . Nothing can ever be accomplished by hating one another.
Sorry in not returning a reply . And it has been months. Thank you for your reply and support. I just wonder sometimes what is going on in the surgeon's mind  when they want to perform a surgical task as this. We already know that the individual has some counseling taking place. I just never hear of a surgeon having to go through any counceling.
April 29, 2008, 2:50 pm CDT

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: babysnoop

Mark Angelo

I would like to thank you and apologize it took me so long to be able to get back and review your comments to my posting. I am very thankful you took the time to give me the info that you did. Our son's thrapist seem to think that his thinking he is a girl or wants to be a girl is from some trauma that took place in his life- he is 16. I don't know what this trauma could have been but I guess they will try to figure it out through therapy. Although my son has not directly told me himslef- I do know that he has strong feelings about getting a sex change. We have allowed for him to buy some item of clothing that he wanted. It is still all a little confusing as he says he has felt this way since he was 10- but I have to be honest in my confusion since he never showed any signs- no wearing my clothes or playing with baby dolls...nothing that people say they expereince. This is why it seems to feel like confusion on his part and maybe something else lies underneath. We have a long road ahead of us I am sure. Thank you and to RAPUNZEL for your nice posting of support- I really feel like I have no one at this point.

You are not alone. A family I know has a father who has always felt he was a girl but because of family could not come out as transgendered. Society when he was a child was not educated in this area and so his parents told him that there was nothing they could do so he would have to live as a boy. This family also has a son who at 4 knew he was a girl but again nobody would listen. The father found out about his son when the son was in college. At the same time the son found out about the father. I think it is a genetic condition. I also think that the scientific studies about the developing brain in the child before it is born will give us lots of answers in the future. Many more scientific studies need to be done and society needs to accept people who are different than the average. There are transgendered people who are scientist, doctors, business people and from all other walks of life.
Keep searching for scientific information in this area. Also try and other academic sites.
January 14, 2009, 9:16 am CST

transgender kids

I am the mom of a transgender teen. My child born female now lives and presents and identifies as male. My husband and I have been married nearly 20 years and he came with 3 sons-so we have a total of 4 children.  We have a very close family with no alcohol/drug abuse. There is absolutely no violence or physical or emotional or sexual abuse. We have always been very protective of our children and supportive of them. Our youngest child was born female 15 years ago, 10, 11, and 12 years younger than "her" brothers who adored "her". We both worked and the only "sitters" "she" ever had were my mother and my best friend known as "aunt" to all our kids.  I was able to stay home for a few years and ran a licensed home daycare. By the time "she" was 1 yr old, our other sons lived with us full time. We had a very busy, noisy and fun home with all of these kids. Our "daughter" ALWAYS, from the minute "she" could walk and talk preferred everything "boy".  We never really considered it an issue and have always told our kids, be who you are and we love you. We figured we had a tomboy and that was that with all these brothers it made sense and wasnt an issue.  Our child was happy and healthy and did well in school and lucky for us had no health issues or mental health issues-no behavioral issues.  We had had some with raising teenage boys thats for sure.  This child was easy! Im not saying we are perfect, but for us it was ideal, and our children were happy.  We had a modest home and modest income, but our kids were always well dressed with plenty of healthy food and enough toys and games of every kind....and extra curricular activites-male and female oriented.  My daycare kids would all dress in clothing or costumes that were deemed more "appropriate" for the opposite gender and nobody cared.  Our happy well adjusted child turned inward on 'herself' around age 12..right at puberty.  "she" became isolated and more quiet and closed off.  Still doing well in school, but a loner for sure.  We were a bit concerned, but were standing by watching and waiting to see where this would go.  This went on for about a year and then "her" first period hit, and it was like the end of the world.  I had never seen this reaction ever in my life...this child burst into tears and was devestated....and continued to withdraw and isolate "herself'.  When an incident occurred at school with another student, and then a missing progress report, and sliding grades surfaced, I just knew that there was something bigger going on.  This child could not bring "herself" to tell me in words what was going on and my fear balled up in my chest til I thought it would suffocate me.  I cornered "her" in a room and begged "her' to tell me what was going on. (the worst scenarios running thru my mind).  'She" finally pulled out a folder w/stuff printed from the internet about gender identity disorder.  I cant even make you understand what a relief THAT was...after the thoughts running through my head.  We came to find out and realize just how depressed our child was. "She" was suicidal, though never having expressed that before.  "She" was  hurting "herself" ie...cutting...using a rubberband..etc..all unbeknownst to us..her very diligent and available parents.  We immediately saw our family doctor who completely "gets it" and was very supportive..and had been this childs dr since birth.  We saw a counselor on a regular basis and I joined a support group online for parents of transgender children..what a lifeline! Our child also found other resources and kids just like our local area.  We are about to explore the options of starting testosterone treatments.  Our child now lives as a male, identifies as male and is happier than I can remember HIM being in such a long time.  He is now 15.  Outgoing and happy and has a girlfriend..and is OUT and open about being transgender.  He is no longer suicidal or hurting himself. He is just living and being who HE is.  YES...we went on that roller coaster that all parents go on when something drastically changes their lives, and yes there was mourning a little bit for the "daughter" part of HIM...but actually HE is the SAME EXACT KID we have been raising all this time.  It wasnt a total shock..really it back...all boy all the time..even down to clothes and shoes from the  time we can remember.  We are just thankful that HE finally told us and we could help and support this bright and one of a kind child.  HE continues to do well in High School..uses the bathroom that HE identifies with..defying some of the administration..but most of the teachers and students DO support him and roll with the flow.  Our family, the ones we stay in contact with, have been supportive and loving..and the other brothers...we couldnt ask for more support and love from them for this child.  They are incredible kids. ALL of them.  Our SON will be doubling up next year in high school and taking some college credit courses to graduate a year early.  HE knows what HE wants and who HE is and what HE wants to be.  We cant say he ever WANTED to be a boy..he has always just BEEN a boy..and now we are all catching up.  It wasnt a sudden revelation, it was a true evolution and progression and a matter of trust and unconditional love.  We dont  need to FIX this kid...HES just fine the way HE is.
January 14, 2009, 9:30 am CST

01/17 Gender Identity Crisis

Quote From: davlin2000

Ok so I know that Dr. Phil has to cover the extremes of the issues as he has done with this show, in order to make his point for that day etc... and I know that many people suffer from extreme cases of gender dysphoria as Dr. Phil has pointed out in this show. However I would hope that at some point Dr. Phil touches on the fact that there are many people out there that feel closer to the oppisite gender of their birth gender and yet don't feel the need to actually change their bodies by physically becoming the oppisite gender. I guess what I am saying is that there are some facts that I feel that Dr. Phil has left out in this episode, and while I understand that he can not cover everything in an episode or on this site, I would like to say that there are many men who like to cross dress at home and are in no way homosexual or considering the possibility of surgically changing their gender. Of course this also applies for women however it is more difficult for men as it is socially acceptible now for women to wear pants for example in almost any environment. Thus if you saw a women wearing jeans walking down the street you think nothing of it, (even if they are mens jeans, after all it's difficult to tell most of the time) yet if you saw a man walking down the street wearing a dress the first and most often incorrect assumption is that he is strange and or gay. This is not true. So the social stigma against women wearing mens clothes has all but dissapeared yet the stigma sorrounding men wearing womens clothes is still too high for most, thus resulting in fear and discrimination that should not be tolorated. I say that the world needs to open it's eyes and let people be who they wish to be and base judgements on the persons charactor as appossed to their attire.

its apples and oranges babe....cross dressing is NOT transgender..would you kill yourself if you couldnt dress in womens clothes? probably not..and its something to be enjoyed from what I have learned...but it is still not transgender or gender idenitity disorder/crisis. Probably why he didnt cover it on the show regarding transgender children.
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