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Topic : 12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

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Created on : Friday, December 08, 2006, 02:32:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The holidays are here, but some households never experience “peace on earth.” Dr. Phil’s guests refuse to embrace the spirit of the season, and say Christmas is the worst time of the year! Joyce has been married to Rick for 27 years, and has hated the holidays for 26 of those years. She refuses to put up a tree, decorate her house or listen to Christmas carols. Rick says Joyce even flipped out when he tried to dangle some mistletoe over her head!  Joyce has succeeded in ruining her family’s joy, but is she about to destroy her marriage? Then, Val has 11 kids, but says her three daughters stop at nothing to wreck the holidays. One daughter even resorted to breaking her sister’s finger on Christmas day! The constant fighting has pushed Val to consider something drastic. And, find out what special event Robin and Dr. Phil hosted to help celebrate the true holiday spirit! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More December 2006 Show Boards.

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December 12, 2006, 6:47 pm CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: jadebear

I think  you  made a good compromise and picked the event on x-mas Day to attend with family and then x-mas eve by yourselves. It  is setting a boundary for yourself. I find myself able to handle some of it each year but I enjoy the x-mas lights at night ,my son's x-mas band concert and letting him decorate the tree. Funny how much he wants to decorate the tree.I had put the lights on it and he came home Sunday from sledding and burst into tears because I had put these pastel butterflies all over it  . He thought it was a girl's tree :>) So I took the butterflies off:>) Actually one year we had a camoflauge train with missiles circling around the bottom of the tree.Really!!!  He really liked that for what reason I'm not sure...Tis the season!  Do you know that in Bethlehem and around Jerusalem one of the most dangerous jobs now is being a shepherd ? It's because of all the land mines that remain ............ It's just such a bad visual, you know ,the shepherd and sheep kaboom............Man, so much for the sweet little manger scene........I guess we are lucky to have peace within our country. I took my son and a friend to the mall. We have thousands of Bosnians relocated here and also muslims and from India. Well,back to sleep. Hey, I'm recovering from Thanksgiving still!!!!! X-mas will seem a breeze after that. Nothing like Mom's special prozac x-mas cookies .....ha ha. And everyone was SO HAPPY????!!!:>) We just went thru a big snow storm so it seems like we already had a white X-mas.
It kind of nakes you wonder how you allow your Christmas's become so complicated and make the time feel more like an obligation. Where did it begin? I swear, the holidays make some people absolutely crazy, and others angelic. FI and I don't do the wrapped gift thing for ourselves but will buy little things (special razors, food, clothing, ect) through out the month, go get coffee and watch people in the mall and make up crazy stories about them (the little old lady with the blue hair was a stripper in the 1920s named Chesty LaRue) and just laugh and have a good time. Generally that is our way of staying out of the insanity!

To add to your other comments it is quite sad to read what you say about shepards in that region of the world; it can't be too far from the truth.
December 12, 2006, 8:10 pm CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

My personal feeling is that the holidays are only as miserable as you let them make you.  If you hate them that much, take control and start doing something new that means something GOOD to you rather than fuming or poisoning them for your kids.


I'm just floored that so many people seem to feel obligated to do so many things that make them wretched during such a lovely time of year.  There is no right or wrong way to celebrate Christmas or any other holiday.  It's supposed to be fun.  Do what you want and don't let yourself be pressured into things.


1. My mother hates to cook.  Hates it.  We never have big Christmas dinners.  We get nice cold cuts, sliced deli cheese, and fancy rolls (nicer than we would normally eat but nothing that requires much preparation) ahead of time and do fancy sandwiches.  Everyone makes their own.  We don't have to cook all day and we don't have a big, greasy, turkey pan to scrub.


2. We rarely travel.  We've had a few Christmases with family but we're half a continent away from our extended families and we're not going to make ourselves miserable camping out at the airport or stuffed into a car.  Sometimes we take little day trips as part of our holiday but we don't do anything that requires buying advance tickets or massive packing.  No travel stress. 


3. In our family, nieces, nephews, and cousins don't get money or gifts after they graduate from high school (this is agreed amongst all our aunts and uncles).  I buy or make five modest gifts a year--two parents, brother, sister-in-law, best friend.  Everyone else gets a card or just an email greeting.  It's not that I don't care, but I know that they don't want to shop for me, either, so we have mutual No Presents agreements.  Nobody goes broke and nobody gets stuck with gifts that don't suit them.  And we don't go gift crazy--I do almost all my shopping online and don't have to set foot in a mobbed department store or mall.


4. We do fun things at home.  We decorate gingerbread houses.  We make cookies to take to Christmas eve worship.  Dad makes pancakes on Christmas morning when we're all in our pajamas trying out our new stuff.  We don't make time-sensitive plans on Christmas day.  We walk all over the neighborhood to see everyone else's decorations. 


December 13, 2006, 1:47 am CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: freesia83

I admit, my FI and I do not get excited about the holidays. There is very little either of us find appealing about christmas music, shopping, commercialism, or anything of the sort. However, getting people to understand this can be difficult and sometimes it is downright frustrating. No matter what we say, no matter how much we try to respect the feelings of others, we still get criticized for *gasp!!* not jumping for joy over Christmas. For example, I wouldn't screech if someone held mistletoe over my head, I'd just smile and go along with it, rather than tell them it's tacky.

Some other responses I have gotten when someone asks (when you ask a question, don't get upset when you don't hear the answer you want!) if I enjoy the holidays and I give them the truth:

1. You're bitter
2. You're a sad miserable person
3. You're not old enough to appreciate the season
4. You're an athiest
5. You're self centered

No matter how polite FI or I have been, one or more of the above answers are usually thrown back.

What is really sad is that most of those comments come from family. FI and I are already dreading going to his parent's house where all the relatives will be meeting up because of this attitude. It is a cycle, and to us, the only way to break it is to keep ourselves out of the fire, which will cause more trouble, and so on and so on. So what are you to do?
(First off, I'm an atheist and I celebrate Christmas.)

Secondly sounds like one of two things is happening here. Either you are lying to yourself about how you ACTUALLY behave. OR your live around complete ass****s.

I cannot imagine being rude to someone who is honestly being respectful of my joy and my celebration.

I CAN however imagine someone pouting and being negative and then going off pretending they did nothing wrong.
December 13, 2006, 5:29 am CST


Quote From: marcone69

I don't celabrate this holiday at all i agree with her 100%.  Where is the respect for those who don't  care abouth this holiday.   Noybody really celeabrates the holiday for the right reasons anymore so whats the BIG DEAL!!!!!

To Big Deal,


Why don't you just try to "enjoy" and be happy being around people that do believe in Christmas.  Why carry all the negative feelings around and having an heavy burden in your heart, when you can have peace in your heart being with family and friends.  BE HAPPY!!!!


Merry Christmas to you.  May God Bless you.

December 13, 2006, 5:48 am CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Wait--Joyce has been fuming for 26 years over an ugly shirt??  I thought she'd at least have had some sort of major tragedy, like the lady who posted the first message about losing her baby at Christmastime.  THAT would spoil Christmas.  An ugly shirt is nothing.


Get over yourself, woman.  If somebody buys you something and you chew them out and take it back--duh, they're not going to want to try to get you presents any more.  If I reacted like that to every off-base present I'd ever gotten, I'd have killed myself a long time ago. 

December 13, 2006, 6:19 am CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: mswing10

I love it too.  The whole Jesus story is a bit far fetched for me, but I do like the thought of celebrating love and family.  The holidays are for everyone!
Christmas is all about the birth of Our Lord and Savior. Listen to Mary did you know by Clay Akins I think it is. I heard it the other day. I am one who has a problem with the holidays because I suffer for depression. This time of year really brings it out. I don't know why. Anyway, since becoming a christian, I have gotten alot better. This song really opened new things in my heart. I can't explain it, just give it a listen........ God Bless and Merry Christ-Mas Nessa
December 13, 2006, 6:29 am CST

grumps and fighting at the holidays

i have only read the blurbs on the site  and haven't seen the show but i was appauled by the guest.

the first lady needs to lighten up --it was JUST an OUTFIT. when i was growing up i was taught  that when you receive an unwanted gift you 'smile, say thank you' and then either regift, return the item for something else, or donate the item to charity. and the NEXT time beat the gift giver to the punch bowl and TELLL them OUTRIGHT what you want.

it works for me and i have NEVER gotten a bad gift through the valu of communication. as for it ruining the holidays, SUCK IT UP. ENJOY YOUR FAMILY, and realize that christmas is only once a year.

as for the kids who are fighting and holidays are always like WWF if i was that mom, i'd be going down to the bahamas, visiting other family memebers and at least NOT inviting the kids over for the holidays and if said kids did show up expecting the holidays say you ain't doing it cuz it always get spoiled.
December 13, 2006, 6:37 am CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: ceildh1

Okay, this seems petty but I NEED advice....

My BIL likes to come across the country ( he's in BC and I am on the East Coast of Canada), and surprise us.

I HATE SURPRISE VISITORS, I truly do, and I have explained this to him, calmly and rationaly, and so has my husband, but he dosen't get it.

Everyone has told me, " he knows it bothers you, that's why he does it ."

So can someone explain what kind of sick plesure it give a person to do this ?  Even AFTER it has been explained  ?  He figures the rest don't mind, so I have to get over it,ARGHHH.

He also likes to tell us how are kids should be raised, church ( my husband and I are agnostic at best), school ( one is a straight A student the other dyslexic but pulling B's), and everything else, he's childless.

I DREAD the holidays because of him, I know I shouldn't let him have that power over me, but it really hurts to know he has ZERO respect for me or my feelings.

Any advice would be appreciated.


sorry if i sound ignorant but if that was like me i'd be saying to him if showed up unexpectedly like 'uh sorry, you didn't call, we didn't make plans, you're UINVITED' that'd be me. i'd wouldn't be nice, if he shows up and if as you say that he is that rude then just tell him to beat it.

sometimes rudness can work (but only when it's appropriate)
December 13, 2006, 6:37 am CST


Simply move on people! Let go and let God! Celebrate the holidays as you wish or choose. Your family  is not intitled to your self pity and bullish behavior. Soften your heart. We are not perfect we are human. God's Peace to you on this coming Holy Days.


Family's stop arguing! Take a deep breath and catch yourself before you speak. You don't have to strike back or smart off . It's not funny or "all that " -it's offensive-I know because I've been there. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. I tried to out do my siblings for attention because I didn't feel loved or whatever...  Unload all that negative and defensive energy  you won't believe what a different it will make in your life.

Remember it did not get there over night and it will take lots repition to make it work. Mighty is He who began a good work in you!



December 13, 2006, 6:47 am CST

hard to get into it

 I'm not a scrooge or anything.  I've never really had a tragedy at christmas time.  I just can't seem to get into it.  I believe in Christ and everything, I just feel numb about the whole thing.  I am not excited about the decorations, the food, family or gifts.  It just seems like i'm going thru the motions and can't get out of the rut.
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