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Topic : 03/30 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Number of Replies: 435
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Created on : Friday, November 17, 2006, 12:52:01 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/21/06) Contemporary weddings have turned into five-star productions, with couples pulling out all the stops to shine on their special day. But what happens when the bride- or groom-to-be starts making diva-like demands? Mike and Jamie agreed to a small Vegas wedding, but that went out the window when Jamie switched her gown three times, rented a limo to drive her one block and upgraded her engagement ring. Mike says that Jamie also made him un-invite all of his friends and cancel his bachelor party! Are Jamie’s antics a hint of what’s to come in their marriage? Then, Nastassia complains that her husband-to-be, Richard, is cheap. She says he wants her to buy bridal flowers from the grocery store, have her mom sew her gown and even schedule the wedding before year's end so he can get a tax write-off! Will Richard’s tightwad ways force Nastassia to call off the wedding?  Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 21, 2006, 2:29 pm CST

agree

I agree with creolith.  I just got married in October.  The guy with the computer invites was actually exactly what we did.  We went to AC Moores and bought the natural flower petal cards and printed them up on the computer.  All in all the entire wedding cost us about $800.  And it was ...not to toot my own horn...one of the nicest weddings I have ever attended. :)
 
November 21, 2006, 2:31 pm CST

You are SO RIGHT!

Quote From: twmguy

What you see is what you are going to get.  These people tend not going to change with out an epiphany.   I really wish them the best but recognize the reality.  If not the wedding then its the vacation; or the school the kids attend; or the retirement home they end up in; or its this or that.  In business and in personal situations the true person comes out when placed in a stressful situation with real consequences.  better to understand the dragon you live with and be scorched as opposed to marrying them and getting burnt.

The bride in question is a QUEENKONG, and the GROOM is even WORSE!

 

I think the groom of QUEENKONG, and the CONTROL FREAK would be GROOM should get together.

 

They both need to realize that they have to negotiate for what they want.

 

The reason why MY MARRIAGE has lasted and THEIR'S will probably fail is because I COMMUNICATED with my GROOM and negotiated every aspect of the wedding, and THEY DID NOT and ARE NOT.

 

In the first case, they control freak Queenking and the groom are already married.  And the resentment is STILL THERE.

 

In the second case there's still time.  DO NOT MARRY HIM!  RUN AWAY while YOU STILL CAN!

 
November 21, 2006, 2:32 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: israelmom

Wow .... you got all that from one hour? or are you just paranoid as a rule of thumb.  You don't know her, how is it you are a friend she should heed?  But you do sound hurt and I am sorry about that.  Get better soon.
She is right. She deserves better. He will never change. He is over the top and it won't get better before the dead line he set to be married even with counseling and he was not that eager to agree to it. He was too defensive and showed no remorse or explaination for his controlling behavior and distrust of her. She should get far away and not look back.
 
November 21, 2006, 2:33 pm CST

It's Not About The Wedding!

Quote From: purplepenny

Hey girl! Our wedding are very similar. I can't imagine mine cost much more than yours did all together. I made my own dress. I had a friend who was a cake decorator make my cake, we had some slushy punch.

We got married in front of about 20 family and friends, had the ceremony in the same room as everything else. The whole thing lasted about an hour or so...then it was over.

I've been happily married for 7 years and I have a doll of a 2 year old daughter.

No stress, no mess..just a happy little memory with my husband.

I am so happy for all of you - it's not about the wedding - it's about the controlling circumstances of the groom/and/or bride. (Sometimes preparation for the wedding brings out the worse in some.  I was unfortunate not to see that  come out).  Whether ii's a million dollar wedding or a 500 dollar wedding - if you are marrying a person who is controlling - it will only get worse after the licence is signed. I personally experienced a signifigant change in behaviour in my ex-husband once the marriage licence was signed.  I became a possession. Cut off from my girlfriends (he couldn't cut me off from my job and connections there - he loved my income too much)  Verbally and emotionally abused me.

 

Did you miss the point of the show? 

 

I am happy for you.

 

 

 
November 21, 2006, 2:39 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: donnyfan4ever

 

Am I missing something?!  Are you a personal friend or family member to one of them? 

What I am seeing here is concern and compassion from a group of women.  We understand that we can't decide for them what they do in the future, what it is... women who see themselves in a very sad woman.  Hesitancy to seek counseling is a "red flag" for anyone.  Weddings are highly over-rated... but there needs to be compromise... you don't need the million dollar wedding but $30 is just as extreme on the other end... I would say that they need to back the truck up and re-evaluate... if it is meant to be it will be, after counseling.

You are indeed missing something.  A personal relationship with them that allows you to know whats happening.  Snap judgement is what yall are all about.
 
November 21, 2006, 2:41 pm CST

RUN NATASHA!!!

Look at the way he is controlling you now.

 

Why stay with someone who does not respect you as a PERSON?

 

The marriage is supposed to be a marriage between equals.

 

It is NOT supposed to be a transfer of PROPERTY.

 

If you THINK he is controlling you NOW, just wait until you sign that paper!

 

You are a beautiful, intelligent person.  So .....................RUN NATASHA!

 

You can do alot better.

 
November 21, 2006, 2:45 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: clarkinmews

I am so happy for all of you - it's not about the wedding - it's about the controlling circumstances of the groom/and/or bride. (Sometimes preparation for the wedding brings out the worse in some.  I was unfortunate not to see that  come out).  Whether ii's a million dollar wedding or a 500 dollar wedding - if you are marrying a person who is controlling - it will only get worse after the licence is signed. I personally experienced a signifigant change in behaviour in my ex-husband once the marriage licence was signed.  I became a possession. Cut off from my girlfriends (he couldn't cut me off from my job and connections there - he loved my income too much)  Verbally and emotionally abused me.

 

Did you miss the point of the show? 

 

I am happy for you.

 

 

I didn't miss the point of the show...I was merely talking to someone who had a similar wedding experience than I.
 
November 21, 2006, 2:48 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: richteaz

Hello Richard:

First, know that I ONLY saw your segment. I missed the begining of the show, so I'm not dragging in to this comment anything that may have come from the previous guests. (Somehow by your reaction to the show I feel this info might be helpful.)

 

Second, while the show being presented as "item after item", "comment after comment" as it was, I feel that you should give yourself a break and relax just a little bit. I mean this in a very constructive way for your benifit, truly I do. Please do NOT worry so much about what we as the viewing audience might think after seeing the show.... that's NOT the important part. What we/they think isn't going to fix any problems that the two of you have. So Please Relax and Don't Worry About Preceptions.

 

Third, and most important, is the fact that you came on the show....Admitted to being controling and wishing she would stand up to you more. I GIVE YOU A LOT OF CREDIT FOR THAT! A LOT of Credit !! How many male guests does Dr. Phil have that come on ASKING for help for their 'Control Issues'? Give yourself Credit Too!!!

 

Here's some important things to remind yourself of:

 

You see the problem. You have a beautiful girlfriend. You've obviously done somethings right if you're not in debt. You potentially have a future with a wonderful women and you've already taken the first steps towards fixing the problem. That alone is far more than most guests on the show have going for them.

 

I don't think Dr. Phil meant to show you as the "Bad Guy". He made comments about you having a very Good attitude towards your future and marriage...did you hear them? Replay if you must, because he did compliment you too.

 

And finally.....Do The Work! Is she worth a few hours? Are You? Is your future together worth the time it will take to solve the few problems and hopefully save you both from others to come? I think the obvious answer would be Yes to all of that.

 

So don't worry so much about what we think or how it appeared. If it made you see things you needed to see, great. But in the end the important part is that the two of you stay together, work through this, get married, and have Dr. Phil invite you back as one of his Greatest Success Stories in the future. I get the impression you can do it and do it Proud!

 

Best Wishes from the bottom of my heart to Both of You!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for encouraging him, he was right about the flack he would get on here. Some women won't be happy until all men are immasculated.  It's good he's laughing at the majority of the responses, he knows they have no clue.
 
November 21, 2006, 2:48 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: lucky24

Did anyone else think Nastassia could be Angelina Jolie's sister? The resemblence was amazing to me!   She sure needs to take a lesson from Angelina on how to stand up for herself  :)   Girl, go rent "Tomb Raider" and learn to kick some butt!

 

Clearly Richard has some growing up to do.  He may be older and understand more of the mechanics of balancing a budget, but he is a baby when it comes to understanding what it takes to be successfully married.  The smug smirk on his face at the end of the show doesn't bode well for this relationship (or any he would be involved in) I'm afraid.

I was just reading through all the messages just to see if anyone else noticed the resemblance, she looks very much like Angelina and she is very nice and sweet, I don't know why she is with this guy because he certainly is no Brad Pitt!   She really should think this engagement over, can you imagine what he is going to be like in the long term. No thanks, I would'nt want him.

 

 
November 21, 2006, 2:50 pm CST

11/21 Nightmare Brides and Grooms

Quote From: stacey707

She is right. She deserves better. He will never change. He is over the top and it won't get better before the dead line he set to be married even with counseling and he was not that eager to agree to it. He was too defensive and showed no remorse or explaination for his controlling behavior and distrust of her. She should get far away and not look back.
I'm sure she'll get right on that just for you people who she has never met and who only saw her maybe 15 minutes.
 
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