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Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Number of Replies: 1827
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"He wants it twice a day!" "She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

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September 20, 2005, 1:47 pm CDT


Thank you all for your support and advice.  I am down to a maintainance dose of 10mg. of prednisone a day;.  and Yes, I take the Plaquenil daily.  I am feeling better some days and then some days not.  But, I am trying.   


As far as my other half.  I have tried to educate him but I don't know if it even matters.  No, I can't leave, between kids and the fact that my family is gone.  No way possible.  But, I will keep on and I will take advantage of the good days to try and work out.  I know that I will never be super skinny.  Never was in the first place.  But, I will work on losing it and hopefully will find a way.  



September 22, 2005, 10:15 pm CDT

I something wrong with (me)?

My girlfriend had a baby 5 months ago and I'm not small but I'm not the the most well indowd person in the world. During sex after about two minutes neither of us are really feeling things any more. I go limp and sex is over. Now she's had a large number of partners before me but none after the baby. And before we met niether of us had any problems. This also happens during foreplay but alot less than during sex. We've never actually completed a full session of love making. She's only recieved a portion of her kicks, and I've yet to recieve any, at least with her. I love my girlfriend dearly and I'd like to be able to please her and for her to be able to please me. Does anyone know what I or she could do ? 

September 24, 2005, 3:28 am CDT

Light at the end of the tunnel

 My hubby & have had our share of frustrations with him not paying enough attention to me sexually.  I think it all could have been worked out faster had he been more willing to talk about it MUCH earlier on.....but it's water under the bridge now.  I think for some men, stress is a major factor in their sex drive.  When things so well, when her feels he's "got life by the horns" it's great.  When things get bumpy & he is struggling to figure out what to do - he pulls back in EVERY way.  It helps me immensely to be able to recognize this & do what I can to help him destress & it's a big indicator to me that even when he says everything is fine, when he shows less interest, I know he's dealing with some stuff that needs to be talked about - whether he wants to or not.  But after working very hard at all of this - we really have found our way back to a good & satisfying sex life for both of us.... (for those that remember my posts from wayyyyyyyyy back).

My NEW problem is ugly word to many: miscarriages.  I have had 2.  One in March & now another in August.  I have had my own emotional issues to deal with going through this, but something new is added to our sex life now too.  I am scared of getting pregnant again right now & can't really seem to let go completely now.  It's always in the back of my mind.  Because they are trying to run tests on me now & make sure that there isn't something wrong with me, etc, I cannot be on any form of birth control & we HATE condoms collectively (like I'd rather not have sex than use condoms-they leave me VERY irritated).  Not sure if anyone has any suggestions, but I thought I'd at least ask & see if there was any ideas out there I haven't thought of.  Have any of you tried a diaphragm & how easy are they?  I know what the Dr can tell me - but I know no one that has used one (or at least willing to tell me they have) - I can't think of any other things I could use.  And to be honest I'm not even sure if that is what would fix my preoccupation or if this is just normal after what we've been through & maybe this will take some time & is just part of the emotions.......anway - hope everyone is well & thanks for any input ~ Beck
September 27, 2005, 12:03 pm CDT

oh boy

  I'm 27 and have been married for 6 years in dec. we have 2 children and seems to me that i have lost my sex drive,totally!!!!! i mean i could really care less,and its not that i'm not attracted to him cause he's a sexy as he ever was but the drive seems to be gone,and even when i do go ahead and do it i dont think i really enjoy it any more. think its something with hormons since i had my babies? 

September 27, 2005, 2:53 pm CDT

Problems communicating

Alright, I'm 18, and I'm totally new at this stuff. My fiance is the same age as me, but he isn't. Some of the stuff that he does really hurts, and I try to tell him by like moving his hand or whatever, but he just goes right back. A friend of his asked "Have you tried anal sex with her yet?" While he was at School, so he decided that he wanted to try. I really didn't want to, but went ahead with it anyway, because I could tell that he really wanted to try it. IT HURT SO BAD!!!!!!!!! He likes it, and wants to do it pretty often now. I've told him that I don't like it and it hurts, but he likes it. He just sort of blows me off and does what he wants to anyway, how do I get him to listen?
September 28, 2005, 4:27 pm CDT

Young and done

I am 23yrs old and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. I am on the depo shot to prevent pregnancy cause I don't want any ever!!!! The problem is my husband is the same age and wants it constantly all the time. I love the man to death and don't know what I would do without him. Besides I have medical issues with PID for the past three years and so on and so forth. Its not that I don't love him or that I am not attracted to him. But I just do not have the desire at all. He is in the navy so I am used to going months on moths without him or that. But even when he comes back from a cruise or something, there is no desire. I am too young to have lost the desire and its gone. My husband is in his peak and I feel like I am ninety years old wtih no drive or desire. Now its once a month and only because I feel guilty from saying no no no no no all the time. We have tried everything, but because I don't have the desire I don't orgasim cause I am just doing it for him and his pleasure to make him happy and I feel less guilty. What to do?
September 28, 2005, 9:30 pm CDT

saying no should be okay

Quote From: terry11977

My relationship with my husband is going on 6 years and within the last 4 yrs he has been pushing for Anal Sex. Each time I had tried it; it has hurt not only physically but emotionally. I have asked him to stop. It's to the point when ever we try to make love he brings it up asking if we can try. I feel totally turned off from sex and he feels that I do not understand his needs. Our marriage is going down hill fast because of this one issue. He has tried to threaten me into giving him anal by saying he will find some prostitutes or with holding money to buy groceries. His obsession with it has grown so much that he surfs the web for anal porn. In his past relationships he had never had anal; so I don’t understand why he just can’t give the thought of it up. I has also have a medical condition that with my rectum that he doesn’t take for serious and thinks it’s all in my head. What can I do?


My husband tries this same stunt. I have no desire for reg. sex most of the time, so anal is just plain anal... sorry for the pun. It's just ridiculas. I tell him if you want that go find a gay man. He tries guilting me into it just like he does with reg. sex.Mkaes me feel guilty so I give in. But that anal thing only makes me scream, cry, and bleed. Then he yells at me for being a baby. How romantic....
October 2, 2005, 1:19 am CDT

What is wrong here? Is it just me!!

Hi everyone! I' am brand new this board and I cant wait to jump in and be apart of it.But this week its me who has the problem.... heres my story: 

My husband and I have been married for 1month now... we were sexually active before we were married and nothing ever came inbetween us. He seemed always in the mood before we were married.... but Now that we are married I feel like something is wrong. I' am the one who could have sex with my husband or night I'm ready!!! For him on the other hand, he could live with or without it for days.... in the beginning we would have sex almost every night, now its like every 4+ days... but then I step in and inituate it(which for us seems not normal) and for me... I'm thinking what happend??? We just got married and now I'am laying in bed confused and sad. Not only has his sex drive gone down hes not affectionate with me in public anymore... its like I'am the one who takes his hand and holds it, and I'am the one who inituates the kiss out in public. It makes me depressed to the point where I' am questioning myself with stupid things like have I gained weight? Am I not the girl he first fell in love with anymore? does he get his fix with looking at girls during the day and not want to give me affection now? My husband is 20 and so obviously there should be NO loss in his testostorone or sex drive! Why am I the one who wants sex more???? It shouldnt be this way :( 

I keep on telling myself, to play the game... just act like you dont want it and maybe he'll see that and want the "chase" but no, he just drifts to sleep. As SOON as we get into bed his mind goes into sleeping mode... I have tried the "stand in your bedroom and try to kiss him" so that he wont get into the bed/sleep mood... didnt work. I have even talk to him about it and he says that I'am not being fare and that I' am basing if off of tonight (Reality check, its like this almost every night!) and then he says that he has to wake up in the morning for work. I feel as if those are just exuses.!!!! Why cant he make time for affection??.... sorry this is so long, but as you can see... I feel really let down by the love of my life. 

Please write.... 

Thank you so much. 



October 2, 2005, 5:51 am CDT


 hi to everyone~ i am new here.......but to jump right to the problem....
my boyfriend and i have been together for ten months now. in the begining, we had sex every day. now, all this time later, we have dropped down to just a couple times a month. i am 20, he is 23. the big part of it is that when he was 8, he had cancer, and was told that the chemo messed up his testosterone levels. my problem is that i am a very physical person. i love to touch and to be touched. his thing is sex is not important and he is rarely ever in the mood for it. most nights, he won't even let me try to get him in the mood. but when i do try, and he still says no, i get very depressed and feel rejected. he is always telling me that its not me.....but what else  can i think? i just really don't know what to do. we have talked about it, but he just says he wishes i would keep my sex drive in check and not want it so much, but i feel that i can't help it. any advice would be appreciated. thank you.
October 3, 2005, 8:03 am CDT

I thought i was the onlyone

I didnt think no other woman out there xperieced what i did at home every single night. I hear I am tired and i am sick, or its i am stressed out. Yea you would think these excuses were coming from a woman but no from a man. I have been married over 20 and it has been like this for the past 5 years. i even went a awhole year with out it. i am only 41 and i have a high sex drive although these days due to having never geeting any i amscared that its going to die. which i feel it has. I almost hadf a affair a few years ago with another man that was younger and made me feel like a woman again. just being near him  .   made me feel more attractive. I think its because i no longer weigh 85lbs. although he says he doesnt want me to be hes always looking at these skinny anorexic women, that i dont wont to be at all. The younger man didntcare at all. that i am a normal weight of 140lbs I can still feel my ribs. i am nicely proportioned everywhere else. I have tried everything. I mean nighties, lotions. and games. Nothing at all works. I dont know what to do now. I am at my wits ends, and like another womnan toys just are not the same. Its been 8 months now without it. Any suggestions.What makes me mader than anyhing is seeing women that weigh 300 plus on maury and they are having sex everyday and i am having none. any advice?
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