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Topic : 03/15 Starving for Perfection

Number of Replies: 249
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Created on : Friday, November 10, 2006, 09:21:57 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/16/06) Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, 'If I could lose five more pounds, I'd be perfect?' Dr. Phil's first guest, Darlene, thinks that every day, even though she's 5' 3" and weighs 60 pounds. She walks 20 miles a day followed by 500 stomach crunches and 1,200 leg lifts, so she doesn't have to worry about eating. Her twin sister, Marlene, says she's tried everything to help Darlene win this 11-year battle. Could something in her past be at the root of her problem? Is it too late for Darlene to recover? Then, 22-year-old Jennifer weighs 63 pounds and has the bones of an 80-year-old. Food is such an enemy to her that it takes her up to two hours to eat as much as a tablespoon. Jennifer's parents say she needs to control everything  -- throwing out their food and telling them what they can and can't buy -- and her anorexia is affecting their marriage. They plead for help to save their daughter's life. What does Jennifer need to do to regain her health? Will these women choose to take a step in the right direction? Join the discussion.

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March 19, 2007, 5:29 pm CDT


ive had an eating disorder or wat they think  of as  one since i was 8 but was never offcially diagnosed  with bulimia nervosa  until i was 13.  until recently  i had been doing good for about a year  but  ive just stopped eating lately at first  it was because of my meds i was on several that  just  made it where i couldnt eat much  but i still ate some.  now  i only eat enough  to satisfy my mom  and she doesnt watch me all the time so i can throw it down the sink or give it to the dog . my doctor recntly put me on diet pills that i take three times a day after meals. i wish i could stop i miss food but something about eating  makes me sick  it makes me feel guilty and stupid everytime i do  i know it sounds silly. the only thing that worries me is my cousin who is the same age as me  is starting to act like me as well but  she is down to 95 pounds well was last time i talked to her anyway i am still heavy  very very very heavy at 300 lbs  it doesnt hurt me nearly as much.
March 22, 2007, 11:41 am CDT


Dr. Phil,


I am so curious as to how the girls that are starving themselves, see others.  How do they see the other woman who is 60 lbs?  Does one see the other as fat?  Does one see how awful the other looks?  Do they see us as elephants?  LOL  I mean, we must look huge to them.  Do they just see themselves as fat?


May 1, 2007, 8:36 am CDT

I think I must be crazy . . .

Quote From: slvrq1

Dr. Phil,


I am so curious as to how the girls that are starving themselves, see others.  How do they see the other woman who is 60 lbs?  Does one see the other as fat?  Does one see how awful the other looks?  Do they see us as elephants?  LOL  I mean, we must look huge to them.  Do they just see themselves as fat?


I think I must be crazy as far as people with eating disorders are concerned.  I mean, I began my eating disorder like any other person.  I was actually moderately overweight - 5'7" and 175 lbs.  I thought I was the most disgusting, fat pig ever to roam the earth.  Now I'm 102 lbs, up from 92 lbs about a month ago.  I have a tendency to waver between 95 and 105 - I still think I'm disgusting, but in a totally different way.  I actually envy people of a normal body weight, even those a tiny bit overweight.  I hate that I don't have a butt and don't have any boobs to speak of.  I used to look at other girls and envy those who resembled sticks, but now I want to look like I have a little meat on me. I'm completely wrapped up, however, in my bulimic food addiction, to the point where I can't stop bingeing and purging and can't seem to get above 105, though I should ideally weigh about 135 lbs.


I attend an eating disorders support group - went last night and had this discussion.  I mentioned my feelings about my weight - feeling like I don't really have an eating disorder because I don't constantly feel like I'm fat.  I only feel fat when I've eaten or am eating - mostly just if I'm afraid I won't be able to purge.  The other girls couldn't relate - they feel fat and disgusting all the time.  Like I mentioned earlier, I always feel disgusting, like no one should have to be near me or look at me or, heaven forbid, touch me.  I've always thought I was "funny looking" and hate specific body parts.  I don't know if this is a weird sort of blend of bulimia and body dysmorphic disorder (though I would contend that I really do have the ugliest chin, skin, thighs, etc.) or a simple food addiction or just gluttony, plain and simple.  When I want to make myself feel bad, I tell myself I'm just a glutton.  I have this "insult trio" that I call myself constantly, the three insults that I consider to be the absolute worst things I could say about myself: stupid, selfish, ugly.  I suppose I care most about the selfish part.


Anyway, I thought I'd give my two cents, though I seem to be in the minority.

August 2, 2007, 2:54 pm CDT

03/15 Starving for Perfection

I saw this show for the first time this day (we are receiving shows much later here in the netherlands) and I was very shocked to see what these people are going through and what they put on onto themselves. The show shed some light on how difficult it is to help people who are suffering from this, the woman explaining she felt disconnected from her body,really shed some light to why it is so hard to be able to help them. In order to be able to help such a person,is first making sure to get someone out of the dangerzone , let them learn to love themselves,to gain more confidence about themselves and last learning to eat again and that can take such so long time. Dr Phil tried to to let the people listen to their rational common sense,and even though they know what happening to them is the worst thing,it is still so hard to let them really relate to that rational level. I never knew the backgrounds and difficulties of this eating disorder was so complex as this show let me see. It almost brought me to tears seeing what these people are going through. Life has difficulties,but life itself is something so beautiful and wunderful,that it hurts me to see what people do to themselves (or what the desease is forcing them to do it because they have no control).

I was really shocked and I hope people who suffer from this can get the help they so need.

November 9, 2007, 6:26 pm CST

Definately a mental thing.

I suffered from that also. You'd never believe it but I "woke up" when my old cat Cookie - who was small- somehow litterally shattered my HEAVY FULL LENGTH MIRROR. My poor little cat was shaken and hiding behind the bed. .......o.k...don't laugh...I seriously thought my dead grandma posessed the cat and broke the mirror. I woke up. I made a new friend at work and we went out and ate salads with loads of fat dressing and beer. I gained weight...I was pissed but had to believe everyone when they said I looked great. I had weighed 102. I'm 5'2". I don't have a small frame. I look much better at 126. Though now I'm 165..........hey, i'm not gonna be obsessed but I'll get back on track. Just not insanely as I did as running once to 3 times a day and eatting out of a tuna can...only being about to finish half "cuz I was full".



She needs to get a new daily schedule and new friends and eat Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I think 1 beer would kill work on icecream, a new friends - at least 1 good one, and have a hobby of trying new restaurants. Good Luck. 

February 24, 2008, 11:09 pm CST

03/15 Starving for Perfection

i just saw a snipit of the 60lb girl on entertainment tonight.


my mother first noticed my eating and weight problems when i was 11 years old. i was in grade 7 at school, and i would sit at the lunch tables and look at my friends eat their sandwhiches, and fruit. and i would eat nothing.

i was always a fussy eater as a child, and my mother was told to feed me constantly by her friends.

i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 15. and then another dianosis of an underactive thyroid one month after that. im currently taking an anti-depressant and an anti-psychotic.

i still battle with my eating, and my weight constantly..

i was assessed by a childrens eating disorder clinic where i live last year in january 2007, aged 17.

but they didnt wish to help me, as i weighed over their 40kg cut off point.

after my assessment, my psychologist noticed that i was feeling worse about my body, and my eating habits were not helping my diabetes.

i am now waiting for an adult eating disorder assessment. ive been waiting 7 months and i could be waiting another 12 months before i get to see anyone from the eating disorders team.


i hope i dont have to wait much longer..

but while i wait, i am trying my hardest to help myself, just incase i am waiting another 12 months.




February 25, 2008, 5:10 pm CST

It sucks to want to be so PERFECT.....

I remember years ago when I was a victim of an eating disorder.  I managed to get to 70 pounds and STILL found ways to criticize myself and how fat I was.  The weird thing was that I never saw other people as being overweight or heavy.  I always saw it in myself and always focused on myself.  I guess it was another way to beat myself up and to hate myself.  I had many years of therapy and some in-patient care and today I don't battle anorexia anymore, thank God.  It's a deadly disease and it's not taken seriously by many people.  I can't tell you how many people told me, "just eat something".  It's not that easy.  It's real and it's painful and I wish I could help every woman out there that is suffering from an eating disorder.
February 26, 2008, 8:35 pm CST

Life Is worth more...

Hello my name is Sarah Bowles. I am 23 years old. I turly believe that life is worth more then fighting to stay alive. If I did this to myself I would hurt my Early Childhood Development and open up my own daycare center for mothers that have to work. I also want to get married and have children of my own. I see that If I become anarexic then it will not just affect me but it will affect my family and friends. Life is worth living and live is worth dreaming. Dream big and life your life to its fullest.  If you have an anarexia problem then get help because live is worth the fight to live. This life is for reaching our highest potentuals. God loves each and everyone of his children and he wants the best for his children. When you hurt yourself you are hurtuing him also. He loves you so so so so so much that he would do anything for you if you come to him and ask for his help.
April 25, 2008, 9:32 pm CDT


Dr. Phil, do you know what happened to Darlene (Not sure if that is her real name). We used to see her just about every day walking in my town, and I would see her just about every time we would shop at our local Wal Mart Super Center. She always had a few things in her cart (popcorn) but we never saw her check out.


It's been a few months since we have seen her, and we were wondering if she was still alive because we know she did not take your help.

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