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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Number of Replies: 1371
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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 8, 2006, 6:46 am CST

The divorce rate is so high for a reason!

Quote From: sexybabe20

Why the hell is a few months too soon? Sometimes you just know!

I'd say, sometimes you believe & just get lucky. People are far too complex to know another whole individual so soon. Heck, people tend to change over time & with experiences. Couples that have been together for decades still learn new things about each other.

November 8, 2006, 6:49 am CST

Mines an oldie but goodie

Alright, my husband is not that much older than me, only about 7 years. We have been married for over 15 years and have two children together. We have had our ups and downs like any other couple.   I do think age needs to be PARTLY taken into account. I think the rest should be based on each others personalities, likes, dislikes, maturity levels and overall compatibility.  To say that either one is not mature enough to decide for themselves what is in their best interest is somewhat condescending.  In marriage and in life there are no guarantees and if two people of legal age SERIOUSLY discuss sharing a future together and are TRUTHFUL about what they want and expect from each other than I can't say that is different from any other good marriage.  I initially cringe at a 20 year difference in age between partners, but if they are at similar mental maturity, and are both legal, consenting adults, what can you do?  Their union will be what they make of it.
November 8, 2006, 6:51 am CST

Good point but not one solely held by men.

Quote From: sgirl85

Based on my experience, older men get married to a younger women when they struggle to find the perfect match that they are looking for.

Men think that a younger women is more flexible and she can adapt to change, especially when she doesn't have experience, based on this fact  she will be forced by her husband to listen and to accept his criticizim and verbal abuse.


Good point but not one solely held by men. Women can be just as manipulative. I'd say your statement is one that says more about the type of person who would date someone despite such an age difference, rather than their sex.
November 8, 2006, 6:57 am CST

Depends on the person

I'm guessing it depends on the person.  My husband is actually 11 years older than I am and I can tell you this.  There are many people that are actually people that are jealous of our relationship.  He is truely my best friend.  We always get along.  We both came from really destructive relationships and just realized that the little things dont matter.  I wouldnt trade him in for anyone my own age and thankful to God that I have found him.
November 8, 2006, 7:00 am CST

My perspective

I am a 49 year old woman who has been in a committed relationship with someone 17 years my junior for 4 years now. No sugar mama here so he must love me for me or he still wouldn't be around. He is a non-committed kind of guy and i am no longer interested in marriage so it works for us. I have no doubt that he loves me but i think more about the age difference than i believe he does. He looks at time as he has plenty of it and at my age i look at time as precious so we do have our different outlooks on things but what couple doesn't. I don't know about us lasting forever but i am going to enjoy it as long as it last. I used to date only younger men back when i was single because they didn't have the tendency to get serious and i was not looking for a relationship - didn't expect a younger guy to fall in love with me or vica versa - it just happened. When i was dating around i was amazed at the younger guys that go for older women and i was told by younger guys it's because younger women want to be too serious too quickly - marriage, babies, etc.
November 8, 2006, 7:00 am CST

Just a number

First of all i'd like to thank all the open-minded people out there.  I am 25 and my husband is 41.  We've been married a little over a year and I love him more than anything.  He's not rich, he's not poor.   I'm sure there are plenty of people who talk crap about us, but if they do, they are jealous.  thats the thing.  i think on the show today, his best friend was just jealous. Because there is no way in hell he'd ever be able to get an 18 yr old that pretty.   it is so funny how this world is so double standard.  especially women.  its like i'm with a 41 yr old man and women give me such awful looks, but a woman thats 41 dates a 25 yr old guy, its ok..  Give me a break!!!  I'm not your typical 25 yr old.  I've been through quite a lot.  I lost my dad about 2 months ago, my brother 4 yrs ago to suicide and to many other relatives to mention.  I grew up way too fast and i think i'm quite mature.  so anyone that feels the need to talk crap about my husband and i and the age factor, is just jealous and immature in my eyes.

November 8, 2006, 7:05 am CST

Sugardaddies R U Kidding?

I could not get to the board fast enough.  I would be interested to know if Sanjay intereacted with her before she turned 18 and I was disappointed that Dr. Phil didnt go down that road.  I am guessing they were communicating long before she was 18 and that makes him an internet predator.  Not only do I have an 18 year old daugher, I was myself seduced at 15 by a "family friend", he told me I was mature for my age and beautiful and that was all I needed. I would have done anything for this guy's attention.  I was smart enought to not ever let my parents find out, but I have suffered the consequences of those choices in my head for many years.  It makes me hyper vigelent about my own daughter.  I realize I cannot have much influence over her choices when she leaves my home, I just have to hope that I have given her enough self confidence to not need the attention of a predator like Sanjay.  Dr. Phil was too gentle with him, and as a Doctor, this guy should have his moral licence revoked.  Unless you live in a hole, who doesnt know that a teenager's brain hasnt and wont mature for years beyond 18.  They make choices for the now, and our job as adults is to protect them, not encourage poor decisions such as this.  Sanjay's friend should be congratulated for having the kahunas to speak up, but if in his shoes, I would have to draw the line.  I would not associate myself with someone who is a self confessed child lover.  Sorry, I am just upset that this guy was treated with respect because he is a Doctor, and spoke eloquently.  If she is still living with her parents, shame on them too, living with it is the same as condoning it. 
November 8, 2006, 7:08 am CST

Sanjay's an idiot, but...

...the dude is 40 years old.  He signed up to find a girl just like Jacqueline.  He knew what he was getting into, he knows the girl came looking for pampering and spoiling.  If he wants to do something this stupid, let him go right ahead.  In five years, when she has cheated with the pool boy and the baby comes out looking just like him,  and she STILL gets the house, the cars and half his bank account, it will be a hard lesson learned.  Men like this who go into their midlife crisis full throttle should know better and deserve every alimony payment they have to dish out to support their little girl ex wives.  Maybe when he's working just to pay the attorneys, he'll snap out of it.

November 8, 2006, 7:10 am CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: purplepenny

If they are all of age, who cares. I don't think that anyone reason for a relationship is better than another.

If one party has money and wants to "buy" a younger person as a mate with be it.

Like Anna Nicole, her husband wanted to spend his last days in the company of a hot babe, he earned that money and that's what he wanted to do with it.

Anna Nicole wanted money, she wanted to buy things and she found a man who provided that.

Is that the kind of relationship I want to be in? HELL NO, but it's none of my business and it's silly to judge it, because yours or my reason for a relationship isn't superior to this reason.
I'm going to tell you purplepenny, i sure do enjoy reading your comments.  Its like we share the same mind. lol
November 8, 2006, 7:15 am CST

happily married

I have been married to a younger man 14 yrs younger than myself,and we have a daughter who will be 14yrs old,i dont see that age has alot to do with your relationship,its the love you share between you,i have been married to my husband now for 4 happy yrs. and would'nt change it for anything.I was married to and older man 10 yrs older than myself for 25 yrs. that relationship was just horrible,so i am very happy with my relationship now.
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