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Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

Number of Replies: 1300
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:27:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Don't miss the first of a multi-part event so riveting, Dr. Phil needed three days to tell the whole story. Bonii, a desperate grandmother, sent Dr. Phil a video showing how her 3-year-old granddaughter, Kaylee, hysterically reacts when she returns from visits with her father, Jeremy. Bonii and her daughter Krista, Kaylee's mom, are accusing Jeremy of molesting Kaylee for the last year. Jeremy maintains his innocence, and says that Bonii and Krista are coaching Kaylee to say bad things about him. Both sides bring a video to prove their point. What does Dr. Phil think of the parents' actions? In a dramatic move, he calls a time-out during the middle of the show to have one-on-one conversations with each parent. Are Jeremy and Krista being honest with Dr. Phil? They agree to be put to the test. Dr. Phil vows to find out the truth, and make sure Kaylee has a safe home. Join the discussion and tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 29, 2006, 6:16 am CST

Protect the Child

This sounds like it is going to be a very difficult episode to watch.  It always seems to be the children who are hurt or someone thinks they are lying or someone is coaching them.  No matter what the little one is in the middle.  Face those parents, make them take the lie detector test and councel each one of them, from every which way from Sunday. There are so many children out there that are being abused, verbally, emotionally and sexually.  Something needs to be done NOW, before another child is hurt.  Lots of these children go on to live a life of HELL. They may live a life that they are not sure of.  Good, until something finally goes bad, or bad from day one. I have lived a life like this. I have no idea who I am and what will become of me. I felt I finally found my feet, to stand on, and my voice to speak, but I am now alone. Not even a birthday card or a verbal acknowledgement, from my Mother or my own daughter. Please help this little one!
October 29, 2006, 8:30 am CST


I agree with everyone here, except it doesn't just happen in the states.  It happens everywhere.  It happened to me and it happened to a lot of us here.  It seems that there are more of these sick, perverts out there that the government has no room to keep them out of society.  They get slaps on the hand, their name in the paper so "we know where they are"....Because of these idiots, I'm jailed in my own home.  I fear someone will come into my home and take my kid.  This isn't good and it isn't fair.  Men and women who hurt children shoot be shot and not heard of.  I'm tired of living in a society where parents allow their children as young as 7 walking down city streets as late as 10pm -11pm by themselves.  Their kids go missing then they put on tears because they want their kid back. I was 14 yrs old and I wasn't allowed past my front door steps past dawn.  When I was 11-12, I never dressed or seen young girls dress like "whores".  Tight jeans, G strings, high heels, make up, tight shirts.....why is society having our kids grow up too fast....Hell, I saw a comercial for a Barbie Doll....She was called the Bling Bling Barbie....How do I keep my kid from being sucked up into this "you gotta be this or you won't have this" kind of atmosphere???How do we fight this???   We can't trust the church, we cant trust the government to do their jobs.  The Childrens Aid Society in Canada gets a low grade from me.  They have lied to my step brothers dad.  They told him that they went to Zachs school but he was busy doing something with the class, when his father kept him out of school that day.  The social worker couldn't say nothing.  They don't do nothing.  They did nothing for me, they do nothing for Zach, and they do nothing to help my moms best friend's grand daughter who isn't even considered a person because she has no ID.  Her parents were recieving Child Tax Benefits but she has no birth certificate or Social security number.  She can't even go to school.  Childrens Aid Society sais they can't do anything.  The mother has to go and fill out the paper work, but is too lazy to do it.  Another kid is inching their way to a crappy life. 
October 29, 2006, 8:40 am CST

A nationwide epidemic

Sadly this is not a freak occurence.  This is a nationwide epidemic.  Children and their mothers are being abused by father's with boudary and control issues and in the midst of bitter custody battles, courts are handing custody of these abused children over to the abusers and away from the protctive parents.  Sexual abuse and domestic violence are two of the most difficult crimes to deal with, and the most difficult to prove.  And even in the face of overwhelming evidence, all an abusive parent has to do is say the chidl is being coached and bam!!!  you have alienation and that means the protective parent is unfit.  Statistically speaking, in contested custody cases where abuse issues are raised, the parent who is accused of the abuse (be it partner abuse or chidl abuse), ends up with custody in 70% of these cases.  Abusers are much more likely to seek sole custody than non-abusers.  Abusers also use the court system as another tool in their arsenal of abuse.  There are happy endings but unfortunately with the laws that exist on the books regarding family law and child custody issues, abuse is not looked at correctly and children have been made and are being made to live a miserable existence in the home of their abuser or the protective parent and chidlren are abused even further through protracted litigation which is often costly, monetarily and emotionally.  Toughen laws on child and partner abuse or we will have a society of messed up children with no idea of who they are and where their own personal boundaries are.

October 29, 2006, 8:52 am CST


Quote From: bcarr123

When my child was young - 2 years old - my ex-husband and I had a very distressing divorce. We were in and out of court. There was a lot of abuse that went on towards the child. The court seemed to not understand the trauma that this can inflict upon a child. This was many years ago and there was no Dr. Phil and there was no one to help me. We fought on and off for years. The last time we went to court, my child was 11 years old. The court finally helped me. But - it had taken years.


The worst thing, though, is that all of the abuse and court battles hurt my child SO MUCH. An adult now - all of the problems that we, as parents had - have changed his life.


There is SO much wrong with the court system. The thing is that if anyone of the parents is lying, then they are just setting this child up for a lifetime of trying to get over what is happening in her life now. This is so traumatic and defiling for a little child.


No matter what happens - the child is the one to get hurt. The child will carry the consequences of the abuse with her for her whole life. She will have the task of overcoming these things that have happened to her. They can change her personality and her ability to function.


I would BEG the parents to stop fighting, come to their senses and work this out. If there is sexual abuse - then the child should not be in the father's care. The mother has no other choice but to try and help her child. If the father has in any way touched the child inappropriately - PLEASE stop the fight - and tell the truth. You could be setting your child up for a life time of trying to overcome what has happened.


The child is the one who will get hurt. Believe me, there is no other end.


Please think of the child.



This is so true.  The courts are often uneducated about these matters, and children do become innocent victims in a game played out by abusers.  My ex was very abusive to me and was what I would call a convenience dad to our child.  When she was doing soemthing he could show off, then he was dad.  Discipline, day to day parent stuff, he had no time for.  He has effectively used the court system as another tool in his arsenal to further abuse me.  He has no clue where he ends and where our chidl begins.  he interrogates her about my life with her, all the while refusing to share even a small piece of his life with her to me.  I hear when she returns from visits that I am a lousy mother, his new spouse is goingt o be her mommy, my family is garbage.  Confusing to our chidl because even at the age of 5 she grasps the concept that she is half dadddy and half mommy.  If mommy is garbage then she must be half garbage.  She does not understand why her father can speak to me how he does when I expect respect and I give her respect.  Abusers have no concept of a child's boundaries, and unless the laws are changed this will continue to happen.

This mother is extremely lucky that her ex has not grabbed and run with PAS.  This is a hand created non-recognized syndrome, created by a man who committed suicide and who sympathized with pedophiles who also had his own divorce issues.  Huge amounts of documented research is available online and off regarding PAS and the people who support it.  Pro-PAS supporters would be running scared if they realized what PAS means to pedophiles.  It is a license for a molester to molest, an abuser to abuse and a batterer to batter.  It is not in the DSM-IV and it is not recognized by the APA as a true psychological syndrome.

October 29, 2006, 9:51 am CST

put him where the sun dont shine

Dr Phili this is just ashamed if this is what he is doing to this little girl and to have you going to bat for her is great and if this is true then he needs to be put where the sun dont shine and get it cut off.Know child should have to go through this they did not ask to come in to the world.
October 29, 2006, 10:33 am CST

Out of the Mouths of Babes

This message is based only on a short review of the show to come on Friday.  But any thing a child says has to be taken at face value as children do not usually make up stories.  The accusations must be taken seriously and the father must stay away from his daughter until an investigation has been done.  If it is proved he has sexually assaulted his daughter that father should go to jail forever as far as I'm concerned but if it is proved her mother and grandmother lied they should go to jail for putting that young girl through so much trauma.  I was 7-8 when my father abused me and no one believed it at the time (or wanted to)  I am almost 60 now and still have unfinished business because of it.  No matter the outcome of this show it needs to be emphasized it is not the little girl's fault and she will need counseling to make her strong again.
October 29, 2006, 12:14 pm CST

Thankfully Dr. Phil can intercede where the courts fail.


I am so pleased to see Dr. Phil tackle this issue.  The child needs help no matter what the truth.  Our system in the US or specifically California is not perfect.  I at one time in my life believed the government should stay out of our homes.  I believed it was a family or community matter.  However, I have grown so much and understand that families hide things. Communities turn their backs at time.  The simple truth about the majority of the time is we know longer live where people know each other.  A person may just see one instance of a action that may raise an eyebrow but they think to themselves that they do not want to cause a family pain if it was one bad action or if possibly it was misunderstood and not as bad as they think ect.  


We now need to think differently.  We need to intervene anytime there is a question of a child’s safety.   In return, the Child Protective Service needs to serve child and family first.  They need to look at each case with sensitivity to the family as well as the child. Maybe education is all the family needs. Maybe community support services, is all the family needs. We need to supply the least restrictive intervention possible to the family. We need to support the family for the child.  Every child loves their family abusive or not. (CPS does make mistakes. A worker came out and interviewed my grand-daughter. I do not know who made that report.  I do thank the person that cared enough to see my granddaughter needed help. However the worker did not even ask my granddaughter if she had bruises on her body.  Had they asked they would have seen the bruises that my granddaughter shamefully hides)  


I will tell you as a professional,  I do not believe that reunification can ever happen in the case of sexual abuse.  Due to my own experiences as well as professional experiences, Child sexual abuse is an illness that appears to be life long and needs to be managed and monitored.  I believe the perpetrator deserves help, deserves a life.  I do not believe that a child ever should be put at risk to give the sexual perpetrator another chance.  


Thank you Dr Phil for using your status and ability to help this child whatever the truth is. She is being abused whatever the truth is.  The child should not be in the middle of all this. If she is sexually abused, I hope swift action is taken.  If she is not, the child needs intervention on her behalf to teach the mother that she is harming her child.
October 29, 2006, 1:40 pm CST

Shocking Accusations Episiode

I have worked with preschool children and have a five year old niece and nephew. Children at this age are honest. If a child is as upset as Kaylee was I would agree there is a problem. I would think the courts wouldn't allow visitation by the accussed parent until it established if they are guilty/or not guilty of the accusation against them. If visitation is allowed it should be supervised. Something needs to be established to protect these children.
October 29, 2006, 1:54 pm CST

This is happening to my children!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a mom who recently left a controling, manupulating and emotionaly abusive man. A year before we split up my daughter, then just shy of 3 years old, told me "daddy tickled my peepee" I asked her what she meant and wow was I shocked when she showed me! How would she know this if he hadnt done it? I told our social worker and it was investigated with no result. I let it go. About a month after my ex husband moved out, my oldest daughter confessed to me that her father had done the EXACT same thing! This time I took her seriously and I reported it straight to the child protection agency. It took 2 weeks for them to investigate and in the meantime my ex, e-mailed  the case worker repeatedly about our seperation and how I was being "vindictive". He even went as far as telling the case worker I was being vindictive for things I had not even known about! ( I knew he was manipulative and now I believe his seems even more guilty for having told the case worker so many lies) I was very shocked when they did not want to speak to me to hear what I thought about my daughter saying this,especially since they seemed to believe everything my ex husband was saying, nor did they want to speak to my youngest daughter who had originaly been the one to say she was molested a year ealier. They pretty much seemed to have decided it was all because of the upcomming divorce. ( I allready had full custody of the children) I am heartbroken now, I do not know if it is true, but I believe it is. Given my exs personality and our past history. ( He has many psycological problems and has even admited to using me  as a sexual object. But I left him for stealing 10,000$ from his best friend, because it was not the first time he stole from people) My daughters to this day still say they were molested, I am afraid to talk to them about it, incase I "put something" in their head, but I also dont want them to think they can not talk to me about it. It feels so complicated. This past weekend was their first sleepover at their dads and my youngest cried she didnt want to go because she didnt want daddy to touch her peepee again. I called child protection agency and they said because it was all ready looked into and the file was closed then there was nothing that could be done, and it seems it pretty much means that no one is going to believe it really happened. I feel like I am stuck in the middle of my children and my ex husband and there is nothing I can do. I also still have to send them for his overnight weekend access visits because he has a right to see them. I really dont mind them going for a weekend but not knowing and suspecting that he molested them kills me inside. I am still working hard to get some guidance, it feels like no one wants to help my children but me. (their father who has a lot of money wont even pay for therapy to get to the meaning of their accusations!)
October 29, 2006, 2:48 pm CST

Why Do They Always Have to be Shocking?

I haven't even watched the show set for Friday, but I'm already disgusted.  When are parents in this country of ours going to step up to the plate and properly raise their children?

We are raising a generation of children who have no concept of accountability for the choices they make.

And where do they get this?  It's not in school.  It's from home.  Acorns don't fall too far from trees.

It scares me to think that we are raising a generation of children who don't know God or Jesus Christ and who have parents who think this is NOT IMPORTANT.  When children feel they have no where to turn . . . . . . . . 

This whole story is bizarre.  It's another poor excuse for two people who apparently don't have the brains God gave them to properly raise a child.  W hen is it going to end?

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