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Topic : 10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 06:04:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Remember when you were in school and had a harmless crush on your favorite teacher? Today, there are frequent headlines of teachers who are turning these schoolboy fantasies into sexual realities. When 24-year-old Janelle lost her virginity to a 15-year-old student, she says she "wasn't thinking about the law," and she was "in love." Now, she's a convicted sex offender who faces up to 30 years in prison. Janelle's attorney says she was treated unfairly. What does Dr. Phil think? Then meet Owen, the ex-husband of teacher Debra Lafave. Debra made international headlines when she was caught having sex with a 14-year-old student and her attorney suggested she was "too pretty to go to jail." Owen has since divorced Debra, remarried and written a book about being in the center of a media blitz. And, 15-year-old Jason says he had a love affair with his 26-year-old gym teacher, although she denies it, and he says he still has feelings for her. Jason's mom says that he was preyed upon, and she fears he will never recover from it. Talk about the show here.

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October 15, 2006, 10:03 am CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: jojobeaner

I understand why the attorney would say that she is too pretty to go to jail because in jail child molesters are on the lowest of the low of the pecking order. Being too pretty is not really the issue, although he made it sound that way.  Because of course he doesn't want to admit out loud that she is a child molester.


Now about Debra having sex with a kid, yes that is wrong and yes she is a child molester.   The real damage that has been done has to do with the fact that God has ordained sexual relations to be between a man and a woman that are married.  We are not to have pre-marital sex.  Why? Is God a kill-joy? absolutely not!  He created us and He created sex to bond us together, sex is an intimate act or so it should be and that is why God created it to be shared with someone that we already have a committment to, ie marriage.  And since you can't marry a child lawfully in California Debra already knew she should not have sex with the boy.


Debra LaFave took advantage of this child, took something from him that God ordained to be a gift that he would someday give to his wife.  She has taken his innocence and treated him like a sex object.  She was not married to him and she couldn't be married to him because he is a child.  She is no different than any person who has sex with someone outside of marriage, God calls these people adulterers, fornicators and the sexually immoral.  God knows that having sex is a powerful feeling and He knows that if you have sex outside of marriage it can create feelings that you are in love with the person because that is what God designed sex to do.  When Debra had sex with this child it bonded her to him, she no longer saw him as a child, but as someone she was in love with.  All logical reasoning went out the door.  If she had the mindset that I cannot have sexual relations until I am married, then her logical reasoning would have kicked in like:  he's only a child, how will this affect his future relationships with women or his wife to be someday, I have a responsibility to lead him into responsible manhood, to show him what real love is,  to honor him as a person, to respect him, to show him how to have respectful boundaries with a person of the opposite sex.  But she didn't do any of that.  She knew what she was doingwas wrong, but she didn't listen to her conscience and now she is trying to backpeddle and come up with all kinds of ridiculous reasons why she did what she did.  And the worst part is that she has a lawyer defending her and giving her more bogus reasons to justify her actions, shame on both of them!


Debra LaFave broke the law and she should be punished for it.  More importanly she has scarred this young man for life, this experience will taint all of his future relationships with women and how he treats women.  She should do jail time just like any convicted child molester and she should be registered as a sex offender.  Should we feel sorry for her, yes, she is very very very lost.  Does God still love her, ABSOLUTELY YES!  Does He love her sin, ABSOLUTELY NOT!.  I pray that Debra LaFave gets the help she needs to understand the seriousness of this sin.  Is there hope for this situation, yes.  God can take any messed up life and turn it around, He can take the worst of the worst and give them real life. 


We have laws in this country and God tells us to respect the authority of the land if it does not contradict His word.  Debra LaFave should not be on house arrest she should be in prison!  where all the other child molesters are, she should not get special treatment.  The fact that she is on house arrest is God protecting her, nothing more and nothing less.  Debra LaFave I pray that you will listen to that still small voice in your head (God calls it your conscience) He is speaking to you. Listen to Him. 


Lord I am heartbroken about this situation, Lord I want to lift up the young man who is affected by all of this and ask that you heal his heart and mind about being used, he may not see it that way at this point because he himself may not even know you.  But Lord I ask that you use this situation to soften his heart and prepare his heart to come to you and accept you as his Savior.  Lord I ask that you speak to Debra and use this to soften her heart and show her that she needs you and you want to heal her and restore her life to what it should be I ask these things in Jesus name Amen



I fully agree of what you just said. And Looks have nothing to do with it (from the other post). They CAN be deceiving. Thank Goodness that she & this boy didn't have any children together! Women like her at a young age should be messing around with guys my age, if she doesn't want to be married anymore. And she is just about around that (I'm 24, by the way.)!
October 15, 2006, 10:06 am CDT

I so agree!!

Quote From: buttrick

When a female teacher takes advantage of a male student, it's ok?  No way!!!  I must paraphrase Oprah:   even if a 14 year old boy is parading around in front of you naked saying screw me, you are the adult!!!  It's your job to say "put your clothes on boy!!!!".  I am disgusted with any teacher of any sex doing such a thing, but even more so with local folks defending the perpetrator!!!!!  I couldn't care less that Bird was an alleged "virgin" and the 15 year old "pursued" her.  Yeah, right!!  What trash!!!
If this were a male how out raged the public would be!  We would be talking about castrating him!!  I'm sorry her actions far out weigh her looks.  LOCK HER UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!!!
October 15, 2006, 10:23 am CDT

Slow down and think

       2006 U.S. Dept. of Education statistics are that 1 out of 10 students will be sexually violated by a school employee/teacher.  Even the government knows how bad the predator problem is.  But how many of you have sat your child down and had a serious talk with them about predators, even though statistically there will be 3 kids in each one of your child's classes so affected?  Not only did my parents not do so, they actually helped give my predators ways to destroy my young school life and aspects of my future - again, not something that most parents think of whenever they go to teacher-parent conferences.

       As a result, I've spent much of my life trying to understand this phenomenon - of why it happens, and why people who should care more let it happen.  I've gotten nearly a book full of answers.

       Part of the problem is the debate's volume.  On the one hand, we have those who are shocked that teachers could do such things; many parents and teachers would rather stay in denial than deal with such problems and institute the necessary preventative measures.  Denial is easier.  But the worse problem is that predators WANT as many teachers, parents and students in denial as possible - and believe me, they are working just as hard on that.  Just recently, the director of a well-known youth organization called a decades-long pedophile an "exemplary family man" - and he more than reasonably should have known better.  Manipulators and predators thrive on such volume and noise.

       The facts are that we live in a world wherein people have many great lives and experiences - and also, we have people dying of hunger, poverty, disease, sexual exploitation and slavery.  Believe me when I say I could not have survived my childhood had I not denied the existence of evil things and people.  But there comes a time when all adults must face the facts or make their children suffer the consequences.

       There are a range of violations here which our discussions and laws need to reflect, and they are starting to do so.  All exploitations of student-teacher relationships are wrong and should at least result in the loss of a teaching license.  But there IS a difference between rape, pedophilia and the lies and violence such predators require, and immature persons involved with only one person who think a fantasy is real.  Believe me, the predators depend upon our confusion over blurred boundaries while they, practiced at deception all their lives, continue their grooming, exploitation and continuing these abuses.

       Rather than the teacher above acting all indignant about the insults to the teaching profession, I would like to see EFFECTIVE, rigorious anti-predatory programs made requisite in teacher education, with required yearly seminars.  Those yearly seminars should be open to the public, with notice given to every parent and interested adult in the area.  After all, as Dr. Phil says, "those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing."

       We have a president who claims "No child left behind" while 3 kids in every class are being destroyed.  I have been protesting for three decades about a network of people who are effectively perpetuating what they do.  Until we face this crisis dead-on instead of getting distracted by the manipulations of predators - who feed on gay-bashing, indignant protests and the misdeeds of immature women - while ignoring the greater failures of allegedly responsible persons, these tragedies will continue.

       Isn't the destruction of even one young life too many?  Stop making it easy for predators and those who exploit the situation while students continue to be violated.

October 15, 2006, 11:07 am CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

Quote From: obx4me

People need to get over the idea that this is something new.  It's just like kids going missing or school violence.  We think this is something new because there are 24-hour news stations and we hear about every little thing that happens.


When I was in high school there was a chorus teacher who offered my best friend a job as his babysitter.  Trust me, she was taking care of a whole lot more than the needs of his kids.  Then he recruited me into the chorus.  I told him I'd think about it, and next thing I knew, I was getting a notice that my class schedule had been changed and I was in his class.  Fortunately, I was bright enough to see what was going on and quickly had it changed back.


Teachers have been preying on their students since the beginning of time, both male and female.  Perhaps women are doing it more because they feel empowered these days .... With the good comes the bad.  Don't kid yourself.  This was going on in YOUR school, too.

This is not new and I don't think anyone is saying it is...just because it's been happening doesn't mean it's not an important social and criminal issue that needs to be continually brought to light.

And for the record from what I saw myself this didn't go on in my schools, it's possible, but I never saw anything like it. So it's also possible it never happened in my schools.

Bringing it to light might help empower kids and scare the crap out of bad teachers. Did you report this teacher? Did your friend? How many innocent kids got hurt because you or someone else didn't come forward?
October 15, 2006, 11:27 am CDT

pedefile teachers

October 15, 2006, 1:31 pm CDT

An ugly act as this one is very appropriate to be behind bars!!!!

I am almost speechless to see a very intelligent person as this attorney to make such statement as " too pretty to go to jail". Lord have mercy on him. I wish he knew that it's not the outer beauty that puts one in jail rather the uglyness of inner beauty that does it. He might have the degree or knowledge of the law but he is not a wise person. For his information, Jails are made to correct or punish some kind of inappropriate or criminal behaviors so that it stands as lesson to others in our society. Behaviors as this one is one of them. a 24 years old with a 14yrs old kid??????????? this sounds a bit like animals sex rather than human being???? Where is her morals, ethics for God sake?????????? Does this Mr Attorney have children? How would he feel if this happened to one of his children? One can obviously see that he is after big money to go into his pocket. Not at all thinking at the best interest of a poor kid.


For the Ms "too pretty to go to jail" , she is so lucky I am not a judge to this case. If it were for me, she will be behind bars for the rest of her life, period. 30 years is nothing compared to the damages done to this boys. BUT SHE DESERVES EVERY SINGLE MINUTES OF IT. Oh!!!!!!!! MIGHT I ADD, SHE WILLL DO 30 YEARS IN PRISON WITHOUT PAROLE.



October 15, 2006, 1:55 pm CDT

too pretty to go to jail???

Why on earth would anyone say that a person is too pretty to go to prison?? It makes me laugh to think that the prisons in the world are full of very attractive criminals!! Ha!Ha! Not all criminals are ugly and devious looking characters as portrayed on film by the Hollywood mob! Just take a look at the murderers and rapists and really bad criminals that have been sentenced either to death or life imprisonment, they certainly don't look like a "criminal" type, but look like ordinary everyday folk.  What on earth would possess an educated lawyer to make such a stupid statement!! What is a criminal supposed to look like??? How dumb is that ridiculous statement!!? I suppose he also believes that all these attractive vicious killers and rapists should also be let out of prison because they are too good looking to be there?? I am dumfounded that anyone would think this way!
October 15, 2006, 2:17 pm CDT

10/19 Teacher Caught in the Act

When I was in high school, we had a gym teacher who taught the guys in our school from about grade 10 and up.  It was always rumored that she slept with her students.  Kids would always crack jokes about it behind her back.  Then, one year shortly after I graduated, she was caught sleeping with one of her male students in a tent on the school's annual bike tour.


She lost her job...but only for a short while.  I don't know the circumstances under which she got her job back but I believe it has something to do with the age of consent in Alberta, which is 14.  It didn't make any headlines even though it had been going on for years because, technically, she didn't do anything illegal like rape etc.

October 15, 2006, 3:03 pm CDT

double standards

I am soooo dayumed tired of the double standards! A man molests a kid he is the worse creature on the planet.... he should have his testicles cut off, or murdered...A woman molests a child a boy in particular....and she gets a pat on the wrists...

dont you understand what happens to a boy a person in authority steps outside of thier role and makes sexual advances toward him. It invalidates everyone in a position of authority. And if it is a woman, then challenges the notion that all women deserve respect. it robs the boy of the abilty to be intimate...

 And for that a woman deserves a slap on the wrist.

October 15, 2006, 5:23 pm CDT

The Shoe is on the other foot

I am very tired of this double standard.   As a person who was in a "relationship" with a coach because I thought that I could handle it.  I get so mad about that because she is a female she should be treated better!!! WHATEVER!!!  It is an emotional scare that will live with these children for the rest of their lives!!  They will have to learn to get past this and move onto a real relationship in the future.  It is not easy.  Once someone of authority has raped you it is hard to trust another person again. 


This is PERSON needs to go too jail!!  Female or not IT IS WRONG!!

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